How to reconcile with your loved one?
The cause of quarrels and rifts can be any trifle. Of course, everything is never smooth in the family and personal life. Sometimes you have to arrange a psychological discharge and allow yourself a surge of emotions, including negative. At the same time, to maintain a healthy relationship in a couple, psychologists recommend sometimes to express their desires, feelings and emotions out loud.
Well, that’s it. All the worst words were said, the claims are accepted and it seems that the anger was replaced by mercy. And want to resume normal relationships … But you need to make the first step, and so do not want to …
To solve this problem you need to first decide who is right, and who is guilty from your point of view. Look at this situation from the outside.
Take a piece of paper and formulate the reason for your conflict in writing. Above all, don’t fool yourself. Write on the left side of the sheet of paper the mistakes you made, and on the right side of the mistakes of your partner.
Well, who has more of them? Do you still want to make up? Are you sure? If so, the following helpful tips are for you. Photo: Depositphotos
Option one – classic
So, you’ve admitted your guilt, decided to take the first step and make up. Where do you start? Sure, you can take a phone call, say the banal, “I’m sorry, I was wrong. I won’t do it again…”. But that’s not interesting. How is it interesting?
Write an SMS. But not a simple, but a golden. It is best in verse, but you can also in prose, the main thing that it was “hooked. It can be the words from a song that you have romantic memories associated with. Or “your catch phrase,” after the utterance of which you both will certainly smile. In general, it should be anything that connects you into a whole. Your task is to get him to respond. And the beginning of dialogue is the beginning of reconciliation.
If he’s silent, but you know the message is delivered, send another “on topic” message, maybe he liked it and wants more… Give him that satisfaction.
Send a postcard by e-mail, preferably to work. Surely he is also worried and thinking about you, so warm words will come in handy. Firstly, he will know that you do not know whether he read your message, and you are suffering from this question. Secondly, the mood will lift right away, because he knows that everything is okay, you have already gone to reconciliation. The whole day he will be in a good mood, and by the evening everything will be fine.
Tip number three
If you listen to the same radio station and you know what time he usually does it (on the way to work or home, during lunch break), it is worth trying to get through and order him “your song”, giving it a nice kind words to his loved one.
Here is a trick: to get through, first you need to set yourself up to win. Then say “I’m always lucky!” and start calling, but call not when the previous listener’s song ends, but when it just begins. The odds go up. Photo: Depositphotos
Just in case, record your performance live on tape, and let him listen to it in the evening – believe me, it’s also very nice, especially if the last forty minutes of the tape you write your voice, which will whisper sweet words to a nice quiet music.
Tip number four
If you live together, you can arrange a candlelight dinner with a reconciliation, and you can hang notes with pleasant phrases and warm words in the bathroom, hallway, in the kitchen. Or write a love letter (often on paper is better to express their feelings than in words) and put his beloved under the pillow. Believe me, a pleasant surprise before bedtime is what you need. It is better to combine both.
The second option – unconventional
You weighed all the pros and cons. You want to make up, but… You do not want to make the first step. “And why should I, let him go first,” you think. Of course, you do not owe anyone anything, but you want to make up. And how to make him, as they say, the first?
Here we call for help in the power of thought, and, of course, his guardian angel, without them we can not do without. Photo: Depositphotos
So, first of all, ask for forgiveness for everything. For all the good and bad, for all that you have said, done, thought. Think of all the situations that have arisen for you, in which you behaved in a bad way. And for every wrong action you have taken, ask for forgiveness.
Then forgive him. In the same way – for everything… For all the good and bad, for everything he said, did, thought. Think of all the situations you have had in which he did not behave in the best way. And for every wrong action he took, forgive him.
Send him your love. With all the forces of your soul send an impulse into the General information field. He will definitely feel it. Just concentrate your love in the form of a red ball and from the heart direct a beam of light directly into his heart. Do this until the ray itself goes out in your imagination.
Tip number three
Imagine your next meeting. He will call? Will he meet you from work? Come home in the evening with flowers? Invites you to a restaurant? Down to the last detail think of the situation, how you will be dressed, what he will say, what you say.
Finally, imagine him alone. He is sitting, standing, lying, walking, driving? It doesn’t matter, picture him whole, eyes, smile, torso, legs and … sprinkle him mentally with rose petals. And then go to him, now you are together under the rain of roses and … kissing, cuddling, in short, make up.
Option three – a compromise.
Here are some practical tips for those who do not want to make up, but not to fight.
Come up with a “password” with your lover. That is, when you start to quarrel, just someone shout out the cherished word or phrase, and then both of them become silent for exactly 1 minute. After that, one must continue. Practice shows that the continue no longer want to.
Agree that you can fight anywhere and anyhow, but … just until the evening. At least for the health of each other. A good night’s sleep in the arms of a loved one – the key to a good mood and a strong nervous system.
Tip number three
Try to surprise each other. Talk to each other. Love, appreciate, respect each other. Understand that your partner is your reflection. If you want to change him, change yourself.
How to make up with a guy after a big quarrel – 100 phrases
Disagreements in a couple are standard. People get used to each other, it is not so easy for them to accept other people’s flaws and peculiarities. Over time, if both people are mature individuals, the clarification of relations comes to naught. In the meantime, you need to be able to intelligently reconcile.
More often than not, after a strong quarrel with the guy comes a period of silence. And if both of them have pride, the pause can seriously drag on and turn into a quiet parting. If you do not want this, you need to somehow make up with your loved one. And it can be done remotely.
Top 100 examples of what you can write to the guy after a quarrel
Not everyone is easily given such a thing in real life. But to make up via text message, messenger or social network is sometimes much easier. You do not have to look him in the eye, and there is virtually no possibility to fight all over again. You just need to know what to write:
- I’m sorry, I was wrong.
- It seems that I overreacted, I’m sorry, please.
- It’s okay to take it back. I made a mistake when I said so many unpleasant things to you.
- I think we both took a wrong turn somewhere. Shall we make up?
- We shouldn’t break up over such nonsense. Let’s make up, shall we?
- Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit sick after our quarrel. I don’t want to be without you for that long.
- I think we should just sit down and talk calmly about everything. Yelling won’t solve the problem.
- If anyone’s to blame for the quarrel, it’s our unyielding personalities. Am I right?
- I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly yesterday. I think we should forget what we said and just be together.
- I feel bad without you. Can’t we just make up, that’s all?
- Let’s just see each other and talk calmly. I don’t think we’d be better off away from each other.
- Let’s try again, but without hysterics and scandals. I promise I’ll do my best to control my bad temper.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’re good together. Let’s try again.
- Yes, we’re different. But that’s no reason to break up. Everybody fights once in a while, and then they make up. Why don’t we do that?
- I don’t know about you, but I feel really bad about our fight. I wish we could just hug and forget about it.
- I miss you… Let’s not fight anymore, okay?
- It’s hard for me to step on my pride, but I really care about you so much more than anything else in the world. I want things to go back to the way they were before.
- Forgive me and come over. I’m ready for a constructive dialogue.
- I’m sorry I said all that stuff the other day. I think we’ve cooled down and we can act like normal adults and just make up.
- I think if we didn’t love each other so much, we wouldn’t be fighting. But it’s not like we don’t care about the relationship and everything that goes on in it. Let’s make up.
- I’m sorry I yelled, but I think we just misunderstood each other. I’m worried about our breakup and I want things to get better as soon as possible.
- I love you more than anything in the world and I really want it back.
How do you make up and stop fighting?
- I’m willing to admit guilt. But we both have to go out on a limb for each other. Are you ready?
- I care about our relationship. Yes, we had a fight. But who doesn’t? How about a truce?
- I’m too straightforward, and sometimes it plays tricks on me. I’m sorry, I may have overreacted.
- Why should we resent each other? What if it’s our destiny?
- A past quarrel is no reason to play silent. Let’s just talk like normal people.
- I think we’re just tired, so we let some steam out. It happens, don’t make a big deal out of it.
- Well, don’t sulk, we love each other.
- Even when we fight, I still love you.
- Let’s not turn on our pride and spoil everything, shall we?
- We both said too much last night, that’s a fact. It’s time to make it right.
- Yeah, I care about you. That’s why sometimes emotion trumps reason. But I want you to understand that. I don’t want to fight.
- Things haven’t been as easy as I wanted them to be lately. I think it’s just a phase. It needs to be lived through.
- Let’s be loyal to each other. I’d like to make up.
- I’m willing to take the first step toward reconciliation, if that’s what you want too.
- We’ve both had a hard time. Can’t we just forget it?
- Don’t be mad at me. You know I didn’t mean any harm.
- Let’s not act like little kids. You can’t be in a relationship without a fight.
- I think this fight will be a lesson to both of us about how not to behave so we don’t hurt our other half. Don’t you agree?
- I’m sorry if I offended you that much. Please forgive me.
- I’m really sorry for the way things turned out. Let’s stop all this pointless resentment and just be together like before.
- Maybe we both needed to blow off some steam and think about our behavior a little bit. I’m ready to move on, and I see no reason to stay silent for a while longer.
- I really value our relationship, so I’m ready to apologize first. But I hope you’ve drawn the right conclusions from what happened, too.
- You’ll forgive your bad boy, right? Don’t be angry with me…
- Despite all the fights, don’t forget that you are the best thing in my life.
- Let’s stick together and never quarrel again, shall we?
- I suggest we have a cup of soothing tea and finally make up already.
- I know you are very proud and would never write first. That’s why I’ll do it, since I care about our relationship.
- Breaking up is the easiest thing to do. Why don’t we just try to make things right?
- Let’s try to forget all the old grudges and start our relationship all over again.
- You know, I believe that true love will pass through all obstacles. So I really want us to make up and be together again.
- I miss even those dirty coffee mugs you always left on the table. Why don’t we forget our differences and get back together?
- I’d hate to end our relationship like this. We have to be stronger than that.
- I’d like to make it up to you. How about a nice coffee at my house?
- We’ve said all the worst to each other. I hope all that’s left is the good stuff. Can we make up?
- Peace, friendship, gum. You support me?
- Life is a strange thing. Sometimes we hurt even the dearest and closest person. It won’t happen again, so I propose a truce.
- I’ve had enough time to realize that I don’t want to lose you over some quarrel.
- I think we’re smart enough people not to do something stupid like that. Relationships need to be worked on, let’s do it together?
- Do you plan to keep sulking at me over some nonsense? We’re adults, after all. Let’s stop this circus.
- I don’t know what got into both of us last time. All right, we’ve had a fight, that’s enough.
- Like little kids, I swear. Why don’t you come over and we can hang out and watch a movie and just have a good time?
- In any quarrel, both of us make mistakes. Let’s fix them and never fight again.
- Are you ready to break up over nothing? Personally, I’m not. I suggest we discuss this quietly and peacefully.
- Let’s just see each other and find out what caused the conflict. We’re normal people, we can communicate without yelling.
- I don’t want our relationship to be built on mutual recriminations. I suggest that we just forget everything and go out like before.
- Well, a little bit of nagging is a lot of nagging. I guess that’s us, huh?
- I think we’ve had enough of playing hardball.
- Let’s live together!
- All right, that’s enough fighting. I’m gonna get some wine. You with me?
- We’re like enemies, honestly. I don’t want to quarrel anymore. Let’s not quarrel anymore.
- Aren’t we the closest people to each other?
- Maybe it’s time to stop this kindergarten stuff. You love me. I love you. We don’t have to fight anymore.
- Well, aren’t you better off without me? I’m not without you.
- What’s the point of us fighting at all? I don’t think there’s any point.
- Why don’t we do it like when we were kids? We fight, we make up, and then we go to the sandbox to make sandpieces together.
- We’re all adults, but we’re fighting over some little thing like kids. Can’t we just cut the crap?
- Let’s think of our fight as a starting point for a new phase in our relationship.
- I didn’t want to write this myself, but all this fighting is obviously not for me. Let’s just be together.
- I don’t even remember the reason why things got so ugly. What about you?
- Well, we were both good, of course. Let’s make up, anyway.
- Only people who don’t like each other can break up over something like that. I think we’re much more serious than that. So let’s not get emotional.
- Why are we even making such a big deal out of this little fight? I don’t feel comfortable. Come over and talk to me.
- I’m sure it’s just another test of our relationship. But they’re strong, so they’ll get through it.
- All couples go through this. Let’s not turn an ordinary domestic quarrel into a tragedy.
- In principle, the fact that we said all that to each other isn’t so bad. But next time, let’s just not build up to a fight.
- All right, that’s it, we’ve blown off steam, we can get back on track. Why don’t we get together and talk?
- So we had a fight, it’s no big deal. If we’re going to overreact to every little thing, we’re not going to have the nerve.
- Let this conflict be our first and last problem in our relationship. I love you and I don’t want to ruin it with stupid principles.
- I agree, it wasn’t pretty. But it’s about time we stopped sulking at each other. It’s not like it was a big deal.
- Let’s just forget about it, okay?
- I know what I did wasn’t very nice. And I’d like to explain myself. Let’s just calm down and have a heart-to-heart talk. We have to listen to each other.
- It’s good that we care about each other. But next time, let’s express our emotions more calmly.
- They say that truth is born in argument. But I don’t need it at this price.
- I really care about our relationship, and I wouldn’t want to spoil everything because of a banal misunderstanding. I’m sure it will pass with time.
- Please, let’s not be silly. You’re my soul mate. How could I be without you?
- Without you, I don’t feel well. Come, we’ll work it out.
- We both hurt each other. I’ve already forgiven you. Have you forgiven me?
- I promise, no more scandals, honest Pioneer. Only calm and adequate communication.
Making up can be difficult. But if you do not plan to break up with a man, you need to know how to smooth the edges and extinguish conflicts. Of course, you both have to make steps towards each other. One-way game in a relationship will not do any good.