Women’s attitudes toward men: Let’s cover them carefully

About attitudes towards men.

Many modern women say that “overgrew normal men, there are no strong men any more. And when we say “strong man”, then for many it is sort of a giant that solves all the problems, so he – strong, fearless, builds a business, goes up the career ladder, solving all family problems, but he is also gentle and kind to his wife, and a caring father with children. But let’s try to look at our men a little differently…

Alas, there is a certain consumer attitude towards men in the modern world, and many women are completely indifferent to what this man (man!) dreams about what he has a pain, where he has the very areas where you can not step on, where you can not put pressure, where in his childhood happened pain, and about it should be careful, what topics he can not stand, and which he loves. And what he is sometimes sad to tears about.

We women very often forget that. That they are also human beings. And a strong man can appear when there is an accepting woman. When he knows that sometimes she will let him be weak. Sometimes she will let him be vulnerable. Sometimes she will give him solitude to come to his senses. And sometimes she will cradle him like her child and caress him and let him lie on her lap and be sad. Sometimes. Sometimes at all. Not often. But when he has that opening for his fragile one, then he will have the strength to go on.

Because men, just like us, face the experience of life. They go through painful relationships, betrayal, just like us. Those who talk to male friends know that they often have to face consumerism from women, when they look at him only as a purse and a set of qualities, and choose him as a TV or a cell phone. And it hurts them too, it hurts them to feel that way.

And also, by the way, the world of men is very cruel. If the world of women is cruel in its own way – women, when they are in school, hurt each other, bully each other, set each other up, then the world of men is even more cruel in this sense. The world of men is a world of humiliation, where one male tries to humiliate another in order to elevate himself. And he who in childhood could not become strong (physically strong – everything is primitive), then he carries the stamp of this humiliation on himself all his life. Because they also have age initiations, which modern men undergo very aggressively.

So right today you can look at men from the other side, as living human beings. We too want most of the time to be strong women, strong women – who can bear children, raise them, maintain our hearth, fulfill ourselves, be a great lover, enjoy ourselves, be feminine – from the word “can.” We also want it, but sometimes we fall into some abyss of pain, some people have it (especially when our cycle is in minus), when we have nothing to do, we just want to lie down and die? And then we also need male acceptance. That he loves us not only when we are beautiful, when we are slim, when we are successful in terms of femininity, but when we are also humanly weak – and then he loves us.

It seems acceptable for a woman to be like this – to relax, lie down, and wallow in her pain and vulnerability, but not for a man. In fact, in human terms, it is acceptable for all. Periodic weakness and periodic pain are acceptable for everyone. And the occasional desire to tell everyone to go fuck themselves and crawl into their hole. So when you look at men, try to see not only the manly facade, but also his soul, which is as vulnerable as yours. Sometimes she is even more fragile, more vulnerable, because she has much more taboo to show her emotions than you do.

You wouldn’t want to be seen only as a beautiful woman who can procreate, either. You would also like to be seen behind your beautiful eyes and handsome face as a person who may not have any feminine interests at all, but that your man loves you and respects you. For your union to be not only on the level of bodies and emotions. And that your union is at the level of souls. For the soul is not important who is who. Only love is important there.

So let’s look at our men today with acceptance. Not to support weakness in them, which many women do today. Don’t support weakness. But give him the message that “you can be you, and that I understand that you’re hurting sometimes, and that you need solitude sometimes. And you need time to pull yourself together. You have the right to do that.”

And in fact, as soon as he has that right – he doesn’t need it. It’s like the practice of letting go – the more you can’t be weak, the more it goes down there. It’s like forbidding something – it’s where it’s going to go. You yourself know this very well? And if you can – then you relax. This hypertonicity – you can’t do this and can’t do that – is removed. And when you can even get into the wrong place – you think, but that’s all right, you can do it too. Somewhere inside something relaxes.

And the same thing can happen to your man. You’re expecting some kind of unshakable power from him, but if you give a man this – say, well actually, you’re not just a man, you’re also a man. It’s normal that you feel weak, and that you’re sometimes scared. It’s like in the movie “The 13th Warrior” with Antonio Banderas, when the Arab was in the battle of the Scandinavians. And there were only 13 of them, and they’re lying before the battle, and on the other side are hordes, and he asks his comrade – aren’t you scared at all, and he replies: “Fearful, but a hero is not one who is not afraid, but one who is afraid, but he goes into battle anyway.”

And so the man is not the one who is not afraid, not the one who is super-masculine, not the one for whom responsibility is just bullshit. No, he’s scared, he’s afraid, and it’s hard for him to take responsibility, but a man is someone who does it anyway. In spite of all the difficulties and inner fears. And when we see that and support it in him, that’s power. When we give him the message – you can be anything, or you saw that it was hard and scary for him, but you didn’t despise him for it, on the contrary, you praised him for going into it. We praise our children for that. And we can support a man in this sense. Look at him as one who overcame his fears and took responsibility for himself.

Men, too, should be given the right to weakness, not to crush them, not to kill them with your clichés, that you have to be this way, or that way. A strong man is shaped by a strong woman. And a woman’s strength is not that she is a donkey, but that she can support his best qualities in him, pay attention to them all the time.

A woman often says, “I don’t see this man as a man anymore, he doesn’t touch me, he doesn’t excite me. And what is the focus of your attention that you see all the time? And she was like – this is what he can’t do, this is what he can’t do, he couldn’t handle it, and of course you lose respect for that kind of man. But every man has his strengths, and where he’s not quite perfect. And our wisdom as women is to see what is strong in a man. And to keep it up all the time.

It’s like raising a child. You can keep telling him what he’s not good at, and then he’ll grow up with a deficit consciousness, and he’ll work on his mistakes all the time without noticing his strengths. He will always think there is something wrong with him. But we can also raise a child based on his strengths. Ok, you’re not very good at this, but look, you can do this, you’re good at that, look how good you are at this, and I really like this. And that’s how we begin to nurture and nurture something good.

It’s like that parable that there is a bad dog living inside every person, a good dog, and in the battle of these dogs, the one that we feed will win. So let’s “feed” that “dog” who is good and bright, who can discover resources and strength within himself, who is about true manhood, not about clichés. And if we learn to notice these things, our lives can change very much indeed.

The Indian scriptures say that a wife has three eyes with which she looks at her husband: two eyes are those with which other people look at him, with which she sees him as other people do, and with the third eye she looks at him as no one else sees him. That is, she looks into her heart, into her depths, into her potential. Let’s look that way – look at the power of our men! ______________________ © apsara-journal.ru

What kills a woman’s love for a man – the seven main things

There’s an incredible amount said on the internet about what a woman should do to keep a man loving her? What do you have to do to keep a man’s love interest?

Why men quickly grow cold and so on. But so little is written about women. Why do they leave? What do they need to make their love last forever? What qualities must a man have to stay by a woman’s side?

During emancipation, more and more women have learned to love themselves and understand what their life should look like. Is this or that man chosen for her life – a matter of importance, so today let’s look at why women get cold?

After reading this article, any woman will understand herself better, and the man will find the answer to what he is doing wrong. And if he does everything right, he will learn about the things you should not do.

1. Masks

It all starts with getting to know each other. It is at this stage that a lot of both women and men make the major mistake of putting on a mask. Of course, we all want to please on the first date. Men diligently shine their shoes, spray their favorite cologne, shave.

Women, in turn, choose carefully dress, jewelry, makeup. But it’s not just appearance that ends the desire to be liked.

The reason for further spats is the behavior at the first meetings. We do our best to show our best side. A man describes how good he is – he fixed his car, bought a dacha, made a barbecue with his hands. And the woman – just a clever girl – yesterday baked a cake, went to the gym …

And in fact in a month or two it turns out that the dacha bought not him, but his friend or father. The car he drove to the service station and just watched what the master was fixing. And he bought a second-hand barbecue on the Internet site, and before that just watched the video on Youtube, how to make a charcoal grill with their own hands. And in fact the thing about people like him, they say “Mom, make me a snowball, dad threw it.

So it turns out that from the first minutes of the relationship we impose a false version of his behavior to his partner. Simply put, we lie. And how do we build a relationship with this lie? After all, a woman can bake her own cupcake, but it happens once a year. And he’ll take it at face value. Going to the gym? Well, after a while he’ll see that her entire gym is just for instagram pics.

We won’t be able to live up to the picture we build on first dates. Wouldn’t it be easier to be honest right away? After all, later we’ll have to admit that we’re not really that much of a housewife or superhero.

2. irresponsibility and lack of self-sufficiency

These are the two qualities that can repel a woman. Ladies appreciate in men when they are responsible for their words and actions. It is incredibly important for a woman to know that a man will shoulder at least a small part of the household chores or taking care of the child, that he will be able to pick up his daughter from kindergarten on time and not forget about it.

To put it in reverse, imagine a situation – she works as a receptionist at a car dealership, he’s an artist. She’s making money, he’s looking for a muse. She asks her co-workers to fix the car, he asks her to buy cigarettes, beer, and stop by the dry cleaners, on the way anyway!

She cooks meals, does laundry, cleans. He goes out with friends, drinks, comes back at night drunk, because an artist needs his freedom. In short, he sits on her neck and lives at his pleasure. She slaves for him and suffers. Love…

Are you saying these are extremes? There are such extremes everywhere these days! Not everyone will allow it, but there are many exceptions. So by showing a woman his autonomy, rather than helplessness, a man has every chance to get a plus in his side. After all, a woman is looking for a man in the future spouse in the first place.

3. Jealousy and boundaries

Oh, that fluttering topic of jealousy! How much has been written and said about it! But there is one thing we need to know about it – MEASURE!

Everything must be in moderation. If there are no limits in jealousy and a man begins to talk nonsense – to go to her corporate parties and meetings of classmates (because there can be lovers everywhere!), And he can also feather his shoulders quietly make up a story that she just came from some hahalya, and there lay on his pillows.

And he won’t care that she took off her down jacket when she got home a minute ago…

If a man knows no bounds in jealousy, it’s hard for a woman to bear. If the girl gives a reason, she’ll probably continue to put up with it all. And when there is no reason for it, it becomes sad and empty, because you can’t feel guilty about your behavior and you can’t go on living like this…

The same goes for personal boundaries, which men often violate as well as women, and over-control. Oh, that’s a thing men love! He can freak out that she stayed in the store five minutes longer than usual.

4. resentments and expectations

This is more of a women’s issue. It’s not the men’s fault, but they should be aware of it. Women are always expecting things from men. And that is, silently. Ladies so often hope that men will guess what they should do or say.

Men have at least two options – either learn how to read minds, or catch the moments of change in a woman’s mood and interrogate her what is wrong. A woman should be encouraged to express her expectations, and not with reproaches, but with correct requests.

If the expectations are not met, resentments begin, which like a snowball gathers more and more. Sometimes this snowball leads to the fact that the woman became cold and wants to leave. She doesn’t see her own guilt in the situation. He doesn’t pay attention to her mood.

People say, they didn’t get along in character, but in essence, they didn’t get along in expectations. Two people are always at fault in a quarrel. So just a man and a woman should learn to talk openly and calmly, expressing their thoughts and desires.

5. Patience and hope, empty promises

Women are very patient. They have it somewhere at the level of subconsciousness and genetics. The husband will beat, drink, cheat, and she will still believe in a bright future and that he will change.

Once again, after a fight with fists, drinking or cheating, he will beg for forgiveness and make empty promises. And, of course, he will be forgiven, because it was the last time! Yes, yes…

How many of these situations are there? Millions. And the woman whose cup of patience is overflowing will be able to walk away. If she realizes that this merry-go-round doesn’t stop, she has hope of salvation. Of course, it takes a lot of strength to do that.

Would you say you know dozens of such couples who live this way and don’t break up? It’s simple – it suits them. So the woman likes to suffer, she’s happy to be in victim status, everyone feels sorry for her. But that’s a separate big topic for discussion.

6. “Got a glimpse.”

It often happens that a woman dates a man for more than one month and then begins to cool down. In the first case, it may have been a sporting interest. Yes, not only men have it, women are not behind in this case. Did you get it? Next!

In the second case, it is called “discerning. What does that mean? Everyone needs time to consider their partner from all the vital aspects. It is necessary to try on all the roles – what kind of father he is, what kind of husband he will be, what kind of son-in-law he will be, etc. Different people need different time for this. Some need five days, and some need five months.

There’s nothing you can do. If the girl thinks that you don’t fit a certain role, then you better leave quietly and not hold a grudge.

7. Lack of warmth.

If you do not throw logs into the fire, it goes out. It is the same with women, only she does not have a log as warmth, but compliments, hugs and kisses. No matter what she says, all that tenderness warms up a woman’s love. Perhaps a man can do without all these pleasantries, but a woman needs it on a physiological level.

If she lacks hugs or kisses, she begins to feel less attractive, desirable. And then her self-esteem suffers, and that’s it – the mechanism is started. She will dig in herself, can fold her arms and stop taking care of herself, and so on.

Conclusion arises unequivocal – hug, kiss, compliment and give warmth. And everything will be fine!

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