How do women find a lover? Effective tips
Certified philologist, experienced editor. The most interesting thing is to do something you’ve never done.
The expert – Victoria Fomina
Physician sexologist of the highest category, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.
How do women find lovers? Many women who have lost elements of passion in their family life ask this question. It’s not about a specific person, more about finding romantic love, one of the most primal and powerful motivations. Love is not just a feeling or emotion, it is what the ancient Greeks called “the madness of the gods,” which carries with it not only psychological but also physical dependence, like hunger or thirst. No wonder that with so much primary brain power, the search for true love can seem like an all-encompassing goal. But love is elusive, and the harder we try to find it, the more it seems to slip from our grasp.
- 1 Reasons for love affairs on the side
- 2 Which lover is best? Criteria for selection
- 3 Where to find a lover?
- 4 A married lover is an understanding lover
- 5 The benefits of communicating with a lover
- 6 How to properly leave a lover?
Reasons for love affairs on the side
Women are created for love, not for endless washing dishes, floors and laundry. Unfortunately, very often due to good and not very good reasons women admit that mutual feelings for the real husband is not the same, and love romance smoothly and imperceptibly for both parties turned into a daily routine.
A woman who decided to have an affair on the side should be prepared for an internal struggle with herself. On the one hand, there is an understanding of the absolute need to take this step, and on the other hand, the inner self will seek to dissuade her from such an undertaking, giving priority to her family, children and husband. However, women who have love affairs do not pursue the goal of destroying their own or someone else’s family. It is important to capture the essence of an amorous relationship – to gain new experiences and impressions.
Many mistakenly judge that the desire of women to find a lover justified primarily by carnal desires, but as a rule, they most of all desire a warm embrace, a gentle touch and a heart-to-heart talk. In general, to find all that they lack in marriage.
Women find lovers, often not similar to their spouses, rather they are their opposite, a compensator for all the shortcomings in the families of married ladies, because women initially seek new sensations, so why burden yourself with the same problems only on the side.
Which lover is better? Selection criteria
In order for a woman to find and choose the right lover, he must meet the basic requirements:
- He should be able to keep his mouth shut, keeping secrecy with the woman.This applies to personal calls and the time of texting in a strictly defined time;
- Should not be too capricious and intrusive. After all, a woman is looking for manhood in a lover, not a girlfriend for the evening pastime.
- Lovespy games.
- He should strive to show care in everything;
- He should be able to provide material support when needed;
- Have a sense of humor and sexuality. Love experiments in sex without a maniacal tendency, of course, but here it is on the lover.
A romantic love partner is an ideal, which almost never happens. It is important for a woman to realize and understand who she wants to see as his, to find his missing element in the love constructor – a reliable lover.
Where to find a lover?
Women can find lovers in social networks, dating sites, places of common interests – dance clubs, gyms. You should not look for lovers in the circle of family friends or work. This can be fraught with dire consequences for both parties.
What age a man should be decides each woman individually, however:
he should not be too young, as the woman in search risks later on playing the role of a mother;
Married lover – understanding lover
Psychologists advise to seek amorous choice on the side of a married man, because they have almost the same problems as the unhappy women in marriage. In addition, a married lover will never allow himself calls at forbidden times – he is just like his mistress, does not seek a divorce. There will never be mutual grudges between amorous partners regarding spending holidays together – each one does it with his family.
During love meetings, it is advisable to abstract away from worldly problems and worries, leaving them behind the doors of the dating place. It would not be quite right to turn a place for the treatment of mental wounds into yet another office or sit-down in the family kitchen. After all, lovers are not family or relatives.
The benefits of having a lover
By having a lover, a woman gets certain bonuses from communicating with him:
How to properly leave a lover?
How women find lovers is not an easy question, even more difficult is the right way to dump him without consequences.
No matter how pleasant the feeling of love is, sooner or later it passes. The moment of parting with a bored lover should feel intuitive. Parting is not necessary to stretch over the years, because the lover and was needed by women in order to give joy and a feeling of love. So why burden yourself with an unnecessary burden, which has already served its purpose? There is no need to waste precious time that can be spent on new adventures, so you have to make the breakup as soft as possible for men, without hurting his self-esteem. Men, statistically, are more vindictive and insidious than women and may not forgive their women of choice resentment.
How to properly abandon a lover:
- Women need to arrange a breakup so that the man was the initiator. In this case, the representatives of the stronger sex can be magnanimous in the parting: to give gifts, making up for it.
- If women did not manage to make a man to initiate the rupture, it is necessary to tell him about it directly, without hurtful words and claims, thanking him for all those meetings, gifts, which were. The last conversation should be specific, without unnecessary hints and understatement. Men do not understand hints.
Women find lovers, enter into a loving relationship with him. She needs to be fully aware of the cause and effect of this action. If a woman is tired of a man or a love relationship with him, she should not turn it into a kind of “suitcase without a handle. It is wiser not to carry for months and years a heavy and unnecessary burden, but to devote this time to new discoveries on the love front.
All ages are amenable to love: by how old married women are more likely to have a lover
Who among married women has not dreamed of a lover? Or even several at once? Only some dare to take such a step, and others do not allow themselves such liberties, though – for the time being. We tell you what age married women are more likely to have a lover.
It used to be thought that only 20-25% of married women decide to have an affair on the side. Modern studies have concluded that in large cities, about 40% of married women entertain lovers on a regular basis. It is noteworthy that this figure has only increased over time, amid liberalization of public attitudes. If we add to the statistics not only wives who have a constant affair on the side, but also women who have had at least one casual relationship while married, then we can assume that almost everyone has had or has had a lover.
At what age married women are more likely to have lovers
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high – she has a lover! … And in general – if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
Notice that Faina Ranevskaya, the author of the quote, did not even mention her age. And this is understandable – all ages are submissive to love. No matter how old a married woman is, she can always have a lover. Statistics that are regularly updated by psychologists and sociologists, about the age at which wives are more likely to have lovers, indicates that the age peak for the beginning of an affair on the side is in the period 40 – 50 years.
The fact is that at 20-30 years, women dream of the proverbial “love until the grave. Whatever problems with their husbands, they hope that everything will be resolved. Additional pressure from society – “you can not cheat on your husband. Besides up to 40 years a woman without a lover has something to do – children, career, studies, hobbies, travel. Occupations are found. Although there are exceptions, for example, young girls, barely married, get in touch with the leaders to get a promotion, or with rich lovers for material gain. If the husband is wealthy and the girl married for money, she may have a lover for romantic feelings – that is, to have an affair with a man for whom there are heartfelt feelings, not a calculation.
To summarize the above, a lover can appear at any age if a woman has a reason:
- Carnal satisfaction, if intimate life with her husband has ceased to please because of his impotence, decreased libido, inability to deliver pleasure, premature ejaculation, long absences (for example, because of business trips).
- Increased self-esteem. The lover makes a woman feel desirable again, if her husband, for example, regards her only as a free housekeeper.
- New sexual experiences, if something to realize with her husband can not because of shyness. For example, a wife is ashamed of her husband’s BDSM, but with a lover, she realizes her sexual fantasy.
- Conception. If pregnancy does not occur in a couple with her husband, women sometimes decide to get pregnant with their lover.
- Benefits. Gifts, material aid, career advancement-all the things that the husband cannot provide.
- Psychotherapy. When a wife is morally and psychologically difficult, but she cannot or does not want to go to a psychologist, she often decides to “go headlong” into a relationship with her lover. The woman speaks out to another man, reveals his feelings and emotions, gradually normalizing his psycho-emotional state. This natural psychotherapy works great.
Why are women getting lovers more and more with age?
Women have dozens of reasons to decide to have an affair on the side. And with age their number increases, and, accordingly, the need for a lover becomes more. The thing is that many social issues – education, children, career, car, real estate – are already closed. A woman becomes above conventions and social prejudices. The husband may already lose sexual activity (simply lose interest or face impotence). That is, a woman with age has more time to dive into romance and relationships, dating, to feel young. She can no longer limit themselves in sexual pleasures (with the onset of menopause is not afraid of pregnancy), becomes more liberated.
At what age should have a lover?
There is no single answer to this question. Each woman has her own life circumstances that lead her to want to have a lover. You just need to understand that a love affair on the side is neither bad nor good. It is the choice of the individual woman. If she believes that having a lover is a life necessity for her, she is willing to experience such an experience and takes responsibility for her decision, then why not?