How to get your ex-girlfriend back and start all over again if there is another
When everything is already solved, the relationship is ruined and you have broken up, often comes the realization that it was a terrible mistake. You want to get back the girl with whom it was so good, close your eyes to all the misunderstandings and become happy again. But is it worth it? Let’s talk about whether it is possible to restore the relationship with a woman who left, how to get back the girl you love, and what to do to get your ex back.
Is it even necessary to get the girl back
Despite the strength of the initial impulse, this desire may be a mistake. Most likely, you did not break up over nothing.
Not sure if the girl was only communicating with you? Was she cheating on you? Or maybe she’s been in love with someone else for a long time? Check her social networks with the service Scanprofile and find out the truth!
- If it was an impulsive gesture on her or your part, things are a little easier, you can cool down and decide to get the relationship back.
- But if you broke up because of a serious conflict – the chances are slim.
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The main thing you need to realize – you split up when you noticed something in the girl, with which you are not ready to put up with, that you can not stand it. Or she noticed it in you. This means you won’t go back to the person you were with before, but to the person you can’t be with by your own decision. This is why stories about returning to exes fail in most cases.
There’s also the mistrust factor – you’ve already broken up once, which means someone (or both) will be a bit on edge the whole time. Won’t that happen again? How much is your (or her) word worth? After the first breakup, deciding on a second one will be much easier because of nerves and mistrust.
Therefore, there are only two cases where it is really worth it to get your ex back:
- you broke up over an obvious trifle and you love this girl. Whoever initiated the breakup
- you can’t let her go the first time. Thoughts of having to get it all back keep you going, and you need a second run to make sure that the person is not yours and needs to be broken up with.
So think a few times before you decide to act in a way that makes the girl want to come back. Read the article how to win a woman back once and for all.
Top 7 Ways to Get a Girl Back
I share strategies for behaviors that will help you win back the love and interest of your ex-wife or girlfriend. Choose one or mix a few, but don’t try to apply them all at once – it will cause confusion rather than a desire to restore the relationship.
- Be honest. The best strategy is if you really care a lot. Go to her or call her and tell it like it is. Think about what you’re willing to do to get the relationship back, and tell her that, too. Talk as much as you can – women love to listen, and it’s important for them to understand what’s going on with you. But don’t forget that everything you say has to be true. If you promise something, keep it. Think in advance about what you want to say, what you are ready to do, take at least a few days to find the right words.
- Show how the breakup has affected you. This is a pressure to pity, but if you frame it intelligently and show how you really regret the breakup and suffer from it, there is a great chance to melt her heart and try to continue the relationship. To produce the desired effect, look unimportant, talk sensitively, but illegible and inappropriate, make the impression of a person who has lost the most important thing in life.
- Come back to her other. Contrast the previous strategy. Wait a while (more than a week), and be calm and confident during the conversation. Tell her that she is very important to you, and that you’ve weighed everything out and know how to solve the problems that caused you to break up. Emphasize that she is more important than some of life’s principles. Act like someone who has changed or decided to change: try not to do things that would normally piss her off, at least during the first conversation. The longer you hold out, the better the chance that things will get better.
- Make her jealous, and then go for it. Make her see you in the company of another girl or even several. Give the impression of someone trying to move away from a breakup in the company of others. Do not prolong this game: after a few days or a week, you can come and say that no one is or will be as good as with her. In this case, she may be bribed by the knowledge of your experience – you really preferred her to other girls.
- Disappear from her life. Right away, as soon as you break up. Completely. Completely and irrevocably. Do not get in touch, do not write or call yourself, do not answer her. Cut off contact as much as possible, don’t cross paths and don’t interact at all. Don’t let her know the news about you – as much as possible. The girl will start to miss you, complete absence will be a shock to her, and she will try to get you back herself. By deciding to part friends, you give her a chance to get used to your absence. At least as a young man. And in this situation, she will be so uncomfortable that she will make a move on her own, and that is how you will get her to come back.
- Remind her of something good. Write that you remembered one of the nice moments in the relationship. Describe it in detail and in a way that she can feel the warmth with which you remember it and relate to her.
- Act as a friend. You probably have things in common – friends, hobbies, maybe even things. Keep in touch, but don’t give her any signs of attention – deliberately keep a friendly distance. And when she wants to break it herself, let her do it, agree that you’d like it all back, too.
What you need to do to get her back
There’s a simple plan of action to avoid cheating. You’re unlikely to get the girl back if she doesn’t want you to. But by acting on this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality results.
- Be alone. At least for a couple of weeks. Put your feelings and thoughts in relative order, get over the breakup, and think things through.
- Pay attention to yourself. These two weeks or more, devote to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do the things you love, remember what bachelors live by and why that way of life is good, too.
- Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where you ran out of patience, where you couldn’t find a way out. If it’s a girl who dumped you, think about what drove her completely.
- Contact her, if after the first three points the desire to get back on track did not disappear. Show a positive and easy-going attitude when you call or text her, and talk about the serious stuff when you meet her.
- Keep a straight face when you meet. Act like you went out for coffee with a friend-even if it’s going to be hard. Don’t cause drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the one she broke up with.
- Keep seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Watch how you feel – do you really need it back, or is it an obsession or a hunter’s instinct.
- Lay out all your cards after a few sporadic meetings. Tell them that you survived the breakup, came to your conclusions, changed, and still want to be together. Reassure her that you’re working on yourself, that you’ve heard her words and are ready to change.
- Once you get agreement, start working on the relationship to avoid past mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what’s going on, criticize each other gently, be patient.
What to Write to a Girlfriend to Get Her Back
Before you sit down to write a message, learn about what it shouldn’t be:
- Outbursts of emotion and rudeness. You might really hate your ex. But if you let her know that, and also give her some tough talk, it’s unlikely she’ll ever want to talk to you again.
- Spam. A constant stream of messages about everything. Feelings, weather, memories, thoughts, plans.
- Drama-queen mode. Don’t write about how she broke your heart, that the only time you ever felt that kind of pain was at the dentist as a kid, and it’s a little worse now, that you want to reset, that without her the world has faded and you’ve lost the taste for life. Don’t grovel.
If you still can’t help yourself and make any of these mistakes, write something like, “Sorry, I wasn’t myself. I had a lot going on besides the breakup, so I snapped. I wish you the best of luck.” Say sorry succinctly, and end the correspondence with a final sentence.
It makes sense to wait with the first message for about a month. By getting in touch earlier, you’ll put yourself in the weak position of stalker girl and give her all the power to decide what to do with you and the relationship.
A month of being out of touch will change you:
- She’ll be the one seeking your attention,
- Worried about why you’re not responding to messages,
- stalking you, and depending on you.
In addition, in a month you both have time to cool down and understand a lot about each other and the relationship.
Remember a few rules of correspondence as well:
- Don’t respond to messages instantly. Wait anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple of hours so you don’t show you’re waiting for her responses.
- Answer succinctly. Write things that help keep the conversation going, but avoid long texts about feelings, thoughts, and events.
- The past is in the past. Don’t have a showdown about a relationship, don’t ask if she’s seeing someone now, and don’t touch on conflict topics. Talk about what’s relevant and what she’s interested in. Be sincere.
Here are five examples of messages that are good for starting conversations and fit within all the rules you’ve mentioned:
- “Hi. I’m planning to go on vacation to Turkey, I remember that you know some good places there. I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice. How about we meet for coffee for ten minutes?”
- “Hi. I’m redecorating a room and don’t know what to make it look like in the end. Can you help me with some ideas? You were always so good at decorating. We can discuss it over a cup of coffee, it won’t take long.”
- “Hi. Do you remember the name of that restaurant we went to back in October? I want to go there with my girlfriend, but I forgot the name and where it is. You’d be a big help.”
- “Saw the kids at the amusement park the other day and remembered how we roared on the roller coaster. I hope you’re doing well.”
- “Remember when we went out for our first picnic that season? And a butterfly landed on your knee and you got scared. I still laugh about that moment, it’s one of my fondest memories of the past year.”
How to get your girlfriend back if she has someone else
When your ex is no longer single, getting her back can be more difficult.
- If you broke up just recently, chances are she started dating someone else to get over you and immerse herself in a new crush instead of painfully experiencing the breakup.
- If it’s been a few months, however, she may well have come to her senses and consciously entered into another relationship – and then your chances are slim. Better register on the dating site EmilyDates and start a new relationship.
In this situation, the man has two main levers: to be better than your current partner and to be reminded of how good it was together. You will have to work hard on yourself and get rid of the habits that caused you to break up and that annoyed her. It will not be superfluous to find out what you can be better than her new boyfriend, what he can piss her off, to use it in your favor.
- To start a little distance, appear sporadically in her life without the slightest hint of courting and signs of attention.
- Ask for advice, share the news, take an interest in her life – unobtrusively.
- Don’t bring up past relationships and don’t try to seem like a threat to the current one.
- Then shorten the distance more, become her friend and support, be perfect and don’t pretend to be her lover.
At some point there will be a rift in her relationship and she will tell you about it out of weakness. This is where you get your trump cards: say that you have changed, rethink everything that was between you, appreciate it no matter what and think that she deserves better (try to demonstrate in advance and at this point that the best – it’s you).
Remind her of how good you were together. Show and prove that you have changed and heard her. Chances are she will feel sorry for you and you will be able to win her back.
How to get back the girl you dumped yourself
It’s easier for a girl who dumped you herself to change her mind. If you initiated the breakup, the power over the future of the relationship remains in your hands. The partner is afraid of this – she doesn’t like the fact that she can be controlled, alienated and approached at will. Therefore, either she out of strong feelings herself will seek to return to the relationship, or will resist it as much as possible.
Your strategy – to convince her that you are not such a scoundrel as it seemed. You need to convince the girl that you are safe – and that can be difficult. Even if she wants you back, she will still be scared that you will decide to leave her again.
Approach carefully: find out how she’s feeling, give her time to suffer and sour on you. During this time don’t get in touch, then check on her well-being and show up to apologize as pathetically and pompously as possible. It’s hard for a dumped girl to believe in her worth and your desires – convince her of them. With gestures, help, expensive gifts or promises – whatever she perceives best.
In any case, you will always have the opportunity to choose the best dating site and register on it to meet the girl you like.
How to get a girl back after a breakup if she does not want a relationship and communicate
No matter how strong and brutal a man may be, even he has a weakness – the girl he loves. Only the memories of the one for whom there were real feelings, do not come out of his head after the breakup and cause pain. This raises the question of how to get a girl back after a breakup, if she does not want a relationship.
Not everyone is ready to put up with the departure of a loved one
Is it possible to return the girl after the breakup
To say in advance what are the chances for success here, it is impossible. Much depends on the reasons for the relationship breakup. Even if the woman you love is now dating another, this does not mean that there is no chance to make her want to return. Nevertheless, you need to be prepared for the fact that no action will not help to revive former feelings. However, if a man does not make the slightest attempt to restore the relationship, because he is simply afraid to waste his time and energy, it is unlikely that he is worthy of the love of his chosen one.
Further information. According to statistics, about half of all couples get back together after a relationship breakup.
Is it worth it to bring a woman back if she left?
It is one thing when a girl has decided to break up a relationship because she was not happy with something in it. Even if she at this point in the rush to get a new boyfriend, it is only to raise her self-esteem, to feel desirable. Chances are, her feelings are still alive, and return her faith in the viability of the old union is quite real.
It is quite different if a woman fell in love with another man completely sincerely, long thought out the decision to go to him and, finally, made her choice. In this case, there is little chance of her return. The only thing that remains is to give her freedom, to give her time and the opportunity to understand on her own that she may have made a mistake.
What to do if she does not want to communicate
In the case where the relationship has come to a standstill to the point that the girl refuses to see each other, talk on the phone, does not respond to messages and blocks in social networks, the best behavioral option would be to temporarily stop trying to resume communication. Give yourself and her a chance to cool down. The forced break in the relationship should be used to analyze your behavior and develop a new strategy for it.
The next step may be to write a letter from a new account in which you need to admit your mistakes and apologize for the intrusive behavior, assure the sincerity of your feelings and wish you a happy life. Reacting to a woman’s departure with restraint and nobility, a man demonstrates maturity and strength of character, thus already laying the foundation for restoring the relationship.
When writing a letter, there is an opportunity to weigh and think about every word, so it is a good way to get through to the girl
Unknowingly, her friends can be of great help in the process of returning feelings to the girl you love. Therefore, it is important to present yourself to common acquaintances on the best side, to show positive changes in character, to speak about your beloved with warmth and gratitude, but without excessive longing in your voice. Beloved will certainly be informed about the changes that happened, which can make her remove the defenses and even think about resuming the relationship.
When to return feelings
The question of whether you can get your ex-girlfriend’s feelings back is a closed one. In most cases, the situation is not as hopeless as it seems. The main thing is to have patience and act wisely.
Often a man is trying to win back the location of the former girlfriend is not because of emotional attachment to her, but because of bruised ego or a pronounced sense of possessiveness.
If the basis of a desire to resume the relationship are psychological complexes, it would be much more reasonable to work on their elimination, rather than wasting energy on pointless manipulation of feelings of another person. After all, in case of failure, the self-esteem of the “alpha male” will suffer even more.
It’s also not worth trying to reanimate a relationship if you’re just too lazy to start building a relationship from scratch with a new person. The idea that everything will be the same with your ex, so it’s easier, is also self-deception. It will take a lot of work on yourself to overcome the crisis in the relationship. If the partner does not see that the situation is really changing, may take the final attitude of breaking up.
So before you try to return your ex, it is worth to understand your motives, to think whether you have enough willpower and patience. Only a sincere love for the girl can serve as the source of energy that will support on the way to the goal.
How to understand that the girl wants to return
Not all women have enough courage to openly declare their desire to try to resume the relationship. So men usually have to independently determine the moment when they have a second chance.
When a girl becomes the initiator of communication, it is a clear sign that she has not put an end to the relationship.
After the breakup you can understand that the girl wants to return, you can tell by the following changes in her behavior:
- The desire to communicate, and full communication. We are not talking about unpaid bills, things forgotten on the move, or a couple of emails a month out of politeness. If the ex constantly calls, writes, initiates meetings, it’s a clear signal to rapprochement.
- Expressing a wish to remain friends, except when it is pinched out of the lover. If the girl herself offered to maintain the friendship, it is a sign that she is not ready to imagine her life without her ex-boyfriend. So the chances of restoring the relationship in such a situation are very high. Trying to honestly play the role of “just a friend” would be a big mistake. But this is a great opportunity to have a heart-to-heart talk with the girl, find out your mistakes and understand how things can be fixed.
- Flirting while ignoring other men is the most obvious sign that the girl’s feelings have not died down and she does not mind resuming the broken relationship.
Is it worth putting an end to the relationship
If the girl categorically does not go to rapprochement for 4-5 months of active attempts to resume communication, it is worth wondering whether it will ever happen at all. Apparently, she made a firm decision not to go back to the past, a much more reasonable course of action would be to try to also break up and forget her.
Advice from psychologists
When a man asks the psychologist, “How to get a girl back if she no longer wants a relationship with me?”, the answer is one: to become someone else for her, someone she would like to date.
First of all, you need to rebuild psychologically. Often men after a breakup continue to think for a long time that they still have some rights to an ex-girlfriend, that the memories of happy moments in the past should be a motivation for her to return.
In terms of practical psychology, the past has no value, and you need to start communication again, from scratch, again to conquer and seduce your beloved, to build relationships on a new basis.
To convince her to come back, you need to make her fall in love with you all over again.
So it would be nice to work on your image: lose excess weight, if any, pump up in the gym, diversify your leisure time, to develop mentally and spiritually: in general, to become a man with whom any woman would be interesting to spend time.
Girls love to look at the pages of exes in social networks, to follow the changes in their lives. Therefore, you can let them know about the changes in behavior and thinking through photos and statuses.
Pay attention! In no case should you try to cause jealousy in your beloved, posting pictures with other girls. This can hurt her feelings and lead her to believe that she did the right thing by breaking off the relationship.
Sitting online 24 hours a day and waiting for her to write and like the post is not worth it. It is better to really take your mind off the breakup for a while, to immerse yourself in your studies, work, socializing with friends, learn to enjoy life, even when your loved one is not around. Then the magic will happen: the girl herself will want to resume communication.
Move the relationship into the romantic vein should not be in a hurry, gradually. It is necessary to give the girl time to be convinced of the changes that have occurred and to fall in love all over again. Only this approach guarantees that the restored relationship will last a long time.