Does your wife constantly suspect you of cheating?
I work from 08.00 to 21.00 sometimes until 23.00, my wife knows that I am at work. But she constantly says that I have someone, although never once gave any reason or even a hint of it. I do not understand why she behaves this way. I have talked to her about it many times, she seems to understand it, but still brings it up after a while. I am beginning to get angry with her, and she says to me, “A thief’s hat is on fire. Tell me why she behaves this way, and how can I explain to her that I have no one but her, and I do not need anyone.
Pay more attention and everything will be fine. Or you can find something for her to do so she won’t get bored.
Same story. She’s jealous of lampposts, not to mention skirts. Talking doesn’t help. What to do? I have been looking for an answer to this question for 20 years. I’ll find it, be sure to report!
Take a closer look at your wife. The best defense is offense. Maybe she has someone else. It’s not for nothing they say: If you want to be clean, throw dirt on your neighbor!
The surest way to defend yourself is to attack. Next time you attack her, tell her, “You suspect me because you’re the one with the sniffles?” Yes, even scare that you’re watching her, but that did not want to dig into her dirty laundry. If she looks surprised, and it is clear that she is “not up to her neck”, and clean as a baby, then point out her reaction and ask her to remember her emotions, accompanied by the words: “Here and I do not like it when you accuse me for nothing. And if he starts making excuses and . you’ll see for yourself, there’s probably nothing to tell you. You’ll figure it out yourself. :о)
She’s just warming up her feelings about you, maybe she’s a little cold, so she’s trying to amuse herself.
People usually judge themselves. Who’s the first to yell “get the thief”? I think that’s something to think about, is she cheating on herself?
Maybe she had a negative past experience, her parents, for example, who got divorced or in her first marriage, or her first love failed. You know how things like that can affect you.
Sometimes a woman is just looking for a reason to pick on her. And since there is no other reason, this is a win-win. And in this case, no matter how many excuses you make, it will not work. Just try to talk to her about trust. If there is none – is it worth it to be together? And you can also ask what she wants? Does she want to break up and is she looking for a reason? If she is not planning to break up, then why find out? Or advise to think about what she will do if (suddenly and heaven forbid) convinced of her suspicions? In general, just find out the meaning of her suspicions.
There can be many reasons for this behavior: 1. she has nothing to occupy herself with, and instead of telling you that she is bored and together find ways to dispel this boredom, she just picks on you and whines like a little child. 2. she wants attention, proof of your love, emotions (you are not a very emotional person, are you?), but how else to get them out of you? Only by pissing her off. 3. the stereotype of her mother’s (or a woman who was significant in her childhood) behavior works, if she behaved in a similar way. 4. complexes are tormented, but here see #2 (about proof of love).
How do you cure all this? My work has helped me – now I am as busy as my husband, and I have no time or desire to fight because the time we spend together is very limited. If your wife is at home with a young child, I also have a 5 month old daughter and she spends great time with her grandmother. And even when I didn’t have grandma, I worked from home and it cured the family fights.
She urgently need to find girlfriends – so she dope not suffer, let more time is not at home, enroll ee in some fitness room (sports are very helpful to bring thoughts into order), or take a beauty salon or spa (to it relaxed). In general, people are jealous because of insecurity, often give her compliments and say that you have the best in the world. Especially if you have a fiery one (Leo, Aries or Sagittarius on the zodiac), these are constant jealousies. My lion husband is constantly jealous of me, melting after compliments, good food and good sex. Good luck to you!
My personal experience: 1) Jealousy is a painful experience of your own inferiority complex in some area. Show your wife how great she is, observe silently at first, and whatever you notice, sincerely praise her in passing, as if by the way. If you are still young, remember the old Cossack advice (I heard it from a native Cossack): “Baba must be stirred up! “. Rake it, dear boy! The words – only affectionate, attention to her – the utmost. 2) Strictly speaking, “do not spoil her” – get married! You can do it at any age – she will not accuse you of perjury! After all it will be a promise before God and people. And of course, go to confession! Will you, Loving One, be able to do all of the above?
Could it be postpartum depression? Pay more attention to it! And maybe she belongs to the category of especially jealous, so it is not treated.
I recommend seeing a psychologist if you really want to solve the problem. Only a professional will be able to specifically resolve the situation, exactly resolve it, and not just say who has a snout in the sack or where a pimple will not pop up. You have a serious problem, both of you.
What to do if your wife is cheating, but will not admit it: psychologist’s advice, analysis of the causes and actions.
My regards, dear men. Marriage has never been an easy thing. And with time the former romance fades away and the harsh life begins. And betrayal can happen to both the husband and the spouse. In the second case, the strong sex wonders what to do if the wife is cheating, but does not admit it, the advice of a psychologist what? The help of a specialist here is necessary. The main thing is that it should be qualitative and prompt. In this material of the blog bursin.ru I give you all the effective recommendations and methods. But first of all, you should be absolutely sure that your spouse is cheating, and not impulses of inadequate jealousy.
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The foundation and prerequisites.
Women are creatures of subtlety and in need of emotion. If they do not find this in marriage, they feel unwanted and forgotten. And often the husband’s fault in this is minimal. His time is consumed by building a career, frequent business trips, socializing with friends, etc.
The wife lives a less fulfilling life and begins to seek emotional attention on the side. And when she finds it, a new turn in her life follows. She gets caught up in it and can’t control what happens next.
And her husband may not notice her scheming for a long time. And he realizes too late. There is an eternal search for someone to blame, and the marriage falls apart.
A list of symptoms
Husbands need to be as attentive to their wives as possible, memorizing their mannerisms of dress, speech, etc.
If there is a suspicion of adultery, there is no total argument or proof except for authentic photos, videos of intimacy with another man, or a personal view of their relationship.
However, there are signs that make you doubt your spouse’s fidelity:
- The emergence of a password or updating an old combination on a gadget or computer.
- Refusal of intimacy under any pretext.
- Ignoring phone calls and texts.
- Abrupt fascination with one’s appearance: going to the gym, wearing new clothes, makeup, hair, etc.
- Frequent use of social networks and dating sites. Hiding correspondence and contacts.
If these signs are observed in full or different combinations, then it is time to closely monitor the wife yourself or hire someone. But it is also an occasion to analyze your marriage and relationships in it. But as long as you do not have ironclad evidence, do not take hasty action.
When a wife decides to cheat, she is guided by thoughts of attraction, not affection. And the former prevails over the latter when she becomes infatuated with a new man. It can be acquaintances on social networks, romances at work, at the resort, and even casual liaisons.
When she happens to have sex with another partner, there is an attachment to him. The woman experiences the same feelings she once had for her husband. This compensates for her longing for his caresses and tenderness.
At the same time she often feels guilty, but continues to commit adultery. After all, they give her former warmth and pleasure. During intimacy the wife even imagines that it is her husband, not a stranger.
Often, after getting their own, the woman leaves her lover, becomes affectionate to her husband, and their marriage is strengthened. But this is possible if the spouse did not even suspect the relationship on the side and even more so if he has no proof of it.
If he suspects betrayal and does not have 100% confirmation of the conjecture, he will close his eyes to some things or deny the reality.
One way or another he will lose his former confidence, the beginnings of paranoia will form and he will cling to his wife with his suspicions.
If the adulteress has had an affair on the side because of a lack of attention, she will get it in the proceedings. Even if the spouse freaks out, arranges to control the correspondence, e-mail, calls and texts, his actions are perceived by his wife as a manifestation of care. And this means that he needs her, he loves her.
Against the background of worry and phobias of the possible departure of his wife’s husband and begins to change: better dressed, takes care of appearance, gives gifts, arranging romantic evenings, etc.
The wife who cheats on her husband, feels guilty before him, and gradually treats him better: cooks favorite dishes, drinks and shows other cares. In this way she compensates for the psychological damage caused to him by intrigues on the side.
In any case, there are many more factors that bind her to her husband than to her lover. And by cheating on him, paradoxically, she appreciates him better.
Biochemistry and Psychology
If you personally caught your wife cheating, or she herself admitted to this sin, the situation should be carefully analyzed before making decisions.
When reasoning about a woman’s adultery, the physiological factor is also taken into account – what hormones were produced in the processes of betrayal?
Experts’ opinions boil down to an abrupt production of three chemicals: adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine. Somewhat later, oxytocin, the attachment hormone, is formed. It makes for a stronger and longer union.
A woman faces a difficult dilemma: how to stay between two fires (husband and lover), how and which of these unions to break without harming anyone?
The adulteress realizes that the situation is her own fault and that it is extremely difficult to love two men in sync. She has no one to go to for advice except a marriage counselor.
It is easier only for individuals who intend to end their marital ties with a new romance. They have no remorse. The husband is no longer needed. It’s time to start a new phase of life.
The most dodgy young ladies, unable to solve the issue themselves, shift the burden to another person with the help of fake situations. This is how they absolve themselves of responsibility for the dissolution of the marriage.
For example, the wife leaves open romantic correspondence or curious photos. The husband, seeing this, accuses her of adultery and suggests divorce.
The opposite category of adulteresses have very strong ties with the spouse and do not plan to leave him at this point in time. And even a mild affair with a strange man seriously burdens their lives.
Psychologists note the age categories, representatives of which more often decide to cheat. The most common situation is related to the emergence of children, their growth and the emptiness of the house.
Children grow up, leave the parental “nest”, and the couple begins to live separately, each with his own life. Both the wife and husband may have an affair on the side. And later it turns out that they are no longer attached to each other in any way. And they end up getting a divorce.
But there are also reverse situations, without breakups. And in families, adultery becomes commonplace, and here both spouses can cheat. And side affairs usually last 1-2 years. In most situations these are short-term affairs.
Often the wife is pushed into cheating by the lack of sex in the marriage. During the session with the psychologist it becomes clear that this gap is not the cause, but the consequence of the problems. Conversations are also held with the husband, to find out all the difficulties of the marriage. The result is that the couple does not want to divorce, as they have children. And neither of them wanted to start an outside intrigue.
Then, in order to preserve their union, the couple decide to change the format of the relationship to an open one. That is, formally their marriage continues to exist, but everyone is spinning their own novels.
And often people who do not want to divorce have affairs with married or married citizens. And in this web, everyone tries to preserve their marriage and keep the cheating a secret.
When a wife’s infidelity is 100% confirmed, the most important thing is to contain the negative emotions. The most difficult thing at this point is to resolve the situation peacefully.
Aggression and rudeness with insults convince the cheater of the correctness of her betrayal. And the relationship is destroyed totally.
Recommendations of psychologists here are as follows:
- No scandals, especially in front of strangers, and especially children. This is only a humiliation of women, and a psychological trauma to the younger generation.
- No physical abuse. Hitting, beating and other manifestations of aggression put an end to the relationship and give reason to call the police.
- Do not respond with treason yourself. This will multiply the problem. Don’t rush into decisions.
- No alcohol, especially driving yourself to a strong intoxication. In such a state one loses self-control and control, and commits catastrophic acts, even murder of a cheater.
- No rash forgiveness. Even if the husband firmly endures the adultery of his wife, you should not admit his guilt and immediately forgive the sin. So in the eyes of his wife he will appear as a rag and weak-willed sack. He will lose all respect for himself. And the cheating will continue.
The main option for the true preservation of the marriage is the absence of adultery. Often they happen after conflicts, cooling of feelings and weakening of mutual understanding. It is better not to prolong the matter and promptly contact a therapist for help.
If his wife’s adultery took place and proved, the proceedings should deal with a highly qualified specialist. He will identify the root of the problem and analyze them. If the spouse will understand the reasons for betrayal and can forgive the adulteress, the family union will begin anew.