Why you need a relationship between a man and a woman
Why do you need a relationship? It’s the same as asking why do we need water or air? But many people cannot answer this question or give the most trivial reasons.
Everyone is familiar with the parable of the two halves, which God scattered throughout the world, and they spend their lives looking for each other. Not everyone manages to find it, so people begin to meet for the most mundane reasons: not to be alone, to have children, to live as everyone else, to be support in difficult situations.
But then what is the purpose of a relationship? Why fall in love, spend time with friends, communicate with relatives, if the reasons for their creation are so prosaic.
Everyone needs a relationship because he has a soul that requires harmony and warmth. Reconnecting with each other for love and friendship, they give a sense of real life, turning each into a great value for the other.
Even when relationships don’t work out, it’s a wise lesson for each of us.
Why do people need relationships?
Aristotle first used the term and called relationships “the symbiosis of two people, which is created by mutual bonding.” Their highest level is love; everything else is dictated by reason.
At different periods of life, the need for them is dictated by different reasons.
Why do we need a relationship in adolescence?
Romantic relationships in adolescence – an important stage of human development. During this period, the basic principles of future adulthood are laid down. A sense of adulthood, independence, raging hormonal background “leads” a teenager to the first, lofty love.
For a teenager, this relationship is very important; they look for the object of love as the only person with whom they can share their deepest feelings, receive support, and feel new emotions and experiences. Often the teenager loves not the real person, but his dream, attributing to the chosen one non-existent features.
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But it is these feelings that properly assess themselves and others.
According to surveys, one in nine men are married to their first “high school” love.
Why is a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship necessary?
There are several reasons why a guy and a girl meet: uncontrollable falling in love at the level of a chemical reaction, logical choices, physical attraction.
In the process of developing feelings, young people live a “mini-format” of future family behavior.
The beginning is full of hope, tenderness, enjoyment of each other. After six months, passions subside, and they are replaced by a period of testing of feelings and similarity of characters, the idealization of the partner ends, there are disagreements, parting is possible.
Long-term relationships are based on trust, the desire to share meaningful events, to support each other in trouble, the ability to be yourself by your partner’s side. This is an invaluable experience for future long years of life together.
What is the purpose of the relationship between a man and a woman?
Relationships for men and women, according to psychologists, have different goals, they need each other for different tasks.
For the man is important:
- Continuation of the species.
- Constant sexual intimacy
- Caring for him and the comfort of the home
- Intimacy and support
- The desire to care, to provide, to protect his “nest,” these are the three basic components of a man’s essence
For women, it’s important:
- Start a family, get married
- Have children
- Financial support
- To feel loved and wanted
- Feeling safe and stable
- Care and help
The main reasons to start a relationship
The reasons for starting a relationship are different for every couple, but there are common incentives for creating one.
- The need to communicate with a loved one.
- Continuation of the family and the birth of a child.
- Support and help in life situations.
- Not to experience the emptiness of loneliness.
- Development, striving for perfection.
- Life in love.
How to understand if you need a relationship
To understand whether you need a relationship, you need an honest analysis of his inner state and decide whether you need a constant presence of the other person. Many people are much better and more peaceful alone.
When you should not rush things
You can list many reasons why you’d better not rush events. The main reason – you’re not ready to give, but want to take, and no matter what: the warmth of love of another, his money, time, soul. Do not even begin, happiness with such a motivation is impossible.
How to create a strong relationship.
In order not to make a mistake in the choice and understand whether it is worth planning a future with this person, you need to objectively assess the partner and the prospects for further life together.
Strong mutual feelings involve a number of important conditions:
- Sexual harmony and compatibility.
- Respect for personal space.
- No desire to remake the partner in your own way.
- The right of each person to individuality, originality.
- Acceptance of flaws and preferences.
- Intuitive understanding of each other.
- No deception, secrets.
- Caring for each other, lack of “widespread” egoism.
- Convergence of life priorities.
Why in the 21st century relationships do not live long?
According to surveys, the reasons for starting a relationship and creating a family are 2 main factors: to continue the family line – 60%, to live together with a loved one, a loved one – 40%.
Joint relationships, marriage should make men and women happier, but divorce statistics are disappointing. At the end of 2018, about 600,000 couples have divorced.
Today, one in ten in Russia believes it is inappropriate to bind themselves with marriage or other commitments.
No one has noticed when and how there was a breakdown in society. Despite the “miracles” of technology, the number of lonely and unhappy people in the world is increasing.
Dating has become unfashionable, it’s easier to socialize on social networks. There are no deep attachments, many connections end before they begin, but at the same time, everyone is in perpetual search and disappointment. At the first difficulties, people prefer to break up, not being ready, to spend the effort and time to create a relationship. One in four people on earth doesn’t even have a friend they can trust.
The problems of modern relationships:
- Young people are not looking for love but for an emotional high; they are afraid of love because it might break their heart.
- With today’s pace of life, there is not enough time to “feel” emotions, the main thing is to “get” material goods.
- Thanks to gadgets and contacts on the Internet, there is an illusion of a multitude of options, so the partner is not valued, it is easier to quickly find a new passion.
- The current generation is sexually liberated young people, a generation of casual hookups. You can spend the night without any obligations, without prejudices, there is no room for love.
- Young people don’t know what to talk about with the partner they like, the level of intelligence is “off the charts.
- It has become difficult to meet a decent person, there is a large percentage of alcoholics, drug addicts, mentally unstable people.
You can’t be together if you are separate, it’s like not being together at all.
Why do both partners need a relationship between a man and a woman
You’ve probably, if you haven’t read it, you’ve definitely heard of the acclaimed bestseller “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” The author laid down a metaphor regarding the cardinal differences between women and men as inhabitants of different planets.
If we develop the proposed approach and go deeper into the essence of the question of dissimilarity, gender psychology comes to the rescue. It was formed on the basis of general and differential psychology. Its task is to identify the differences in human behavior in society in the context of biological and social (gender) gender.
Results of research
In 2001, one of the most authoritative studies of differences between men and women was conducted. Researchers interviewed 23,000 women and men from 26 different cultures. The study showed: women ascribed to themselves traits like, anxiousness, soulfulness, shyness, friendliness.
Men considered themselves to be persistent and open to new ideas. In general, if we consider the degree of differences between men and women, scientists have not reached a consensus. Some argue that the differences are minimal, while others put forward the theory of enormous differences.
As you can already understand, despite the different views of scientists, one thing is clear: there are differences. And a legitimate question arises: why do men and women need relationships? What is the connection? What each of them as a result receives?
To answer these questions, we must begin with the central details, namely to identify key feelings and needs, and to establish types of relationships, so that we can come from the general to the private. Let’s get to the bottom of this!
What do women want from men in a relationship?
The triad of central feelings
In breaking down each of these in an expanded format, we should start with the feeling of loneliness. It is often, in large proportions, the driving force behind building relationships. Human beings are biosocial by nature.
In the context of the issue at hand, loneliness does not allow for the key needs that an individual has. Unmet needs form a vacuum. “Empty space” acts as an irritant and causes the individual to feel unhappy.
In the triad of feelings significance also plays a dominant role. In the context of relationships, the individual forms a spectrum of beliefs: “I am loved!”; “I am important to another!”; “I, as a person, am valuable!” This, in turn, leads to a fundamental belief: “If I am important and valuable, I will never be alone. My needs will always be met!”
Speaking of a sense of kinship implies more than a close kinship and emotional bond. The main binding element is unity, unification. There is an expression: “Husband and wife are one Satan!” That is, uniting on the basis of kinship of souls, a man and a woman start to complement each other, become twice as strong.
Overview of Key Needs
- Tactile Contact
An international study has found a cause-and-effect relationship between lack of tactile communication and the development of depression, stress, alexithymia (the ability to identify and show one’s emotions).
- Sexual contact
Neurologist E. Pöppel from the Institute for Medical Psychology at the University of Munich, speaks of the positive effects of sexual connection on brain activity. An orgasm activates certain areas in the right side of the brain. This, in turn, causes certain hormonal changes that have a positive effect on mental and physical well-being.
- Continuation of the species.
This need involves the continuation of oneself. The Bible says, “Be fruitful and numerous, populate the earth and subdue it.” It is not difficult to guess that the primary goal is to save mankind from extinction. Procreation has a paired character.
- Safety and Security
There is a saying, “one man is not a warrior in the field. The implication is that we must act together. Joining in pairs, people create a microsociety, which, in its turn, forms the territory of safety and security.
Types of Couple Relationships
Parsing relationship types will allow you to clearly see what each partner gets in a relationship. That is, individual characteristics that are unique to a particular type.
There are many variations. I suggest looking at the most common ones.
The foundation of this type of relationship is equality of partners. Each has individual goals and objectives. And they may overlap with the goals and objectives of the partner, but this is not the main thing. The emphasis is on the ability to agree. Moreover, each partner is aware of the equivalence of the other.
Such an approach makes it possible to avoid, in the language of phraseology, pulling the blanket over oneself. That is, none of the partners tries to take the leading position and subordinate the other to their needs and priorities. In this type of relationship, there is no imposition of a worldview, and, importantly, there is no desire to remake the partner to suit oneself.
The movie “Business Woman” comes to mind. It well-drawn image of the partners: two mature people who clearly understand what they want from life and, no matter what, go to the goal together.
This type of relationship provides for a model where the man takes the position of the head of the family. And this is connected, first of all, with the creation and accumulation of the material base.
The classical type dates back to the times of man’s ancient ancestors. In those conditions of survival, physical strength prevailed, and man was the breadwinner. The woman, on the other hand, was the keeper of the hearth. Left alone, she simply would not survive.
Of course, you and I live in the modern world, where those harsh conditions of survival no longer exist. Women have become financially independent and self-reliant. But if we’re talking about the classic type of relationship, the emphasis is on family. A woman can have a hobby, a personal business. Here it is important not to confuse the line between a housewife and a woman with personal needs and interests.
As an illustrative example, we can cite star couples in which actresses at the height of their popularity shifted their priorities in favor of family: Deborra-Lee Furness and Hugh Jackman, Darya Sagalova and Konstantin Maslennikov and a number of others.
This type of relationship is also called polyamorous. They involve open consent between partners for romantic and sexual relations with other people. Open relationships should not be confused with polygamous relationships. Although these concepts are very close, there is still a significant difference between them.
The basis of a polyamorous relationship is a loving, romantic and sexual relationship with several partners. Polygamous relationships, on the other hand, involve sexual contact with several partners and an emotional connection with only one of the partners.
The fundamental basis of this type of relationship is sexual freedom. Among celebrity couples there are many who are in such relationships: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, Pink and Cary Hart, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel and a number of others.
Psychologically speaking, co-dependent relationships involve the unhealthy attachment of one person to another. Interpreted as those that have nothing to do with love.
Chekhov has a literary character, Dushechka. He represents a woman who loves a man wholeheartedly and devotedly. She literally dissolves in the relationship. At first glance it seems that this is destructive and destructive. Giving all of herself, a woman gets nothing. But what if we look at this relationship from an alternative point of view.
Immersing herself in the life of others, a woman gets a sense of need, of importance, of what the other person can’t do without her. And here we can talk about a union: an idol and an admirer. When one of the union needs to receive adoration, and the other is ready to give it.
At this point, we should make a remark: it is important not to confuse the union in question with a really painful relationship. We are talking about Adelie’s syndrome. The daughter of the famous writer Victor Hugo. Her love obsession with the British officer Albert Pinson belonged to mental disorders.
The foundation of this type of relationship is sexual liberation and freedom. One could say that the connecting and main link is sex. Unlike open relationships, they lack emotional depth, affection, romance and friendship.
Also, importantly, the relationship in question excludes plans for the future and children together, as freedom is important to the partners, and, above all, it is associated with the absence of obligations.
It is worth noting that free relationships are complicated in their structure and have several main components.
In psychology there is a term – promiscuity. It refers to the need for frequent change of partners. In addition to certain mental illnesses, this need may be due to hypersexuality.
One reason for the increased sex drive in men may be an increased presence of sex hormones in the blood. In women – as a result of hormonal failure.
Another major component may be a defensive reaction against the background of trauma, followed by a distortion of the perception of the relationship. The prism of sex masks the fear of loneliness and unneededness.
The topic of sexual looseness and free relationships is well disclosed in the movie “Nymphomaniac” with Uma Thurman.
What a relationship gives a man and a woman
So, you and I have sorted out the leading sides of the issues raised above. To summarize the topic, the following conclusions come to mind:
Depending on the role in the union, everyone gets a cocktail of psycho-emotional and biological components.
- The relationship between a man and a woman allows for the satisfaction of key needs.
This in turn is a protective barrier against the formation of depression, stress, mental disorders. Helps to strengthen mental health and be more resilient in the ocean of domestic and life difficulties.
- If we look at this issue from the perspective of the triad of key feelings, relationships allow you to avoid feelings of traumatic loneliness.
They give you the opportunity, what they call, to strengthen your position by being one with the other person.