Female jealousy: causes, signs and rules of struggle
Love – a wonderful feeling, but when one of the partners begins to present their chosen one with high demands, jealous of him on and off cause, then this union may be on the verge of cracking. On how much a woman is jealous of her partner, depends on their future life together.
The psychology of a jealous woman
It is believed that jealousy is a feeling that is a manifestation of love. But this is incorrect. A man who experiences this feeling is possessive and selfish, in addition, he is not confident in himself. Jealous woman is extremely mistrustful and suspicious. In all of the actions of a partner sees treason, and his nagging and hysterics pretty spoils the life of not only themselves and their partner, but also those around them.
According to the statement, a sense of jealousy does not occur in a person who loves himself, but someone who wants to be loved.
Psychologists say that jealousy in small “doses” is even useful. It allows both partners to be “toned”.
This feeling arises from fear of losing his lover, although, often jealous of the family itself can break the vow of fidelity.
Jealousy in women may manifest itself in different ways. Some jealous mistresses begin to follow their beloved, read messages, hire private investigators. They do it silently, gradually “eating” itself from the inside.
Another category of ladies, on the contrary, fall into hysterics, their actions become uncontrollable. After another scandal, they can talk to a man and find out the reason for the misunderstanding. But this will be so until another outbreak of jealousy on their part.
According to psychologists, the preconditions for the emergence of jealousy appear in childhood. It depends on the family in which the girl was brought up. In childhood, these qualities are still weakly expressed, but, growing up, a woman begins to look for protection and support for life in her partner. The influence of other women is perceived by her in hostility, because he should belong to her completely.
The reasons for jealousy can be very different.
- Injustice. Getting married or living with a partner in a common-law marriage, a woman perceives herself and him as one whole. They are a couple and should inseparably belong to each other. If the husband begins to look “left”, it violates the created order, and is perceived by the woman as an injustice.
- Betrayal. A woman creates her own special world in her soul, where both partners have common interests, everyday life and general secrets. If she begins to suspect that the union is collapsing, she feels betrayed. Many take “betrayal” from the partner very painfully and inflate the problem where it does not exist. A fleeting glance at a passing girl, conversations with colleagues, joint tea parties at work will be perceived as a serious transgression, as a betrayal.
- Feeling of her own inferiority. A woman begins to compare herself with others, and finds a lot of complexes. If in her younger years she was deprived of the attention of guys, it only worsens the situation. It seems to her that her husband can find himself a more beautiful, intelligent, slender, sexy partner. She keeps a close eye on her chosen one, being herself in nervous tension, worrying that he is not carried away by other women.
- One of the reasons for jealousy is a sense of self-pity. These ladies, on the contrary, are overconfident and the realization that the spouse is paying attention to a rival causes them resentment. They are accustomed to always being the center of attention, attracting the eyes of other men, so they are especially attentive to their appearance. Understanding that her man begins to show signs of attention not to her, but to the rival, makes her furious, she may begin to take revenge on her husband or rival.
- Fear of losing the material well-being that her husband creates. Such women often stay at home with their children, with no additional means of livelihood. The husband is the only source of income for her. She is jealous of him to anyone who may need his material help.
- Fear of being alone. Many women are afraid to stay without a partner, especially since there are many examples of beautiful young girls who remain alone. Having found his chosen one, they begin to protect it, with a groundless jealousy.
The reason for jealousy may be the frequent absence of a partner at home and his constant presence.
If a spouse is always together at home and at work, then any unusual situation may be perceived as treason. In the case when the partner has to leave frequently, she has no way to control where and with whom he is, which also leads to distrust on her part.
The main sign of female jealousy is the constant control over the actions of the man. But there are other “symptoms” of this condition.
- Constant vigilance. In such a union, a woman begins to control her partner. She knows where and with whom he spends time, with whom he communicates at work. This is expressed in the control of his phone calls, reading text messages. The wife begins to accuse her husband in every situation, making scenes with or without cause, not allowing her husband to meet with friends, because there may be women there too.
- “Work” of the imagination. Staying home alone, the spouse begins to imagine that her husband at this time may be cheating on her. Such thoughts can be so real that they drive a woman to panic. A simple phone conversation between her husband and a colleague can provoke a jealous rage in the wife. Her blood pressure rises and headaches begin.
- Accusation on her part. Jealous woman begins to accuse her partner. He, in turn, has to prove that this is not true. After a while the situation repeats again with the same ending.
- Making a scene. It costs her nothing to make a scene at any time, in any company. She won’t choose her expressions, lower her voice, or change her intonation. Such a lady does not hesitate to express herself in any place, regardless of the situation.
A woman will control her partner if he stays late at work. She may even come to the office to see if her spouse’s words are true. The situation can be aggravated if her spouse works in a team with young, beautiful women. Manic jealousy knows no barriers. A woman will fight for her man, although there are often no prerequisites for this.
How to cope?
You should constantly work on yourself. An old unsightly robe or disheveled hairstyle has not inspired anyone. A woman should like her reflection in the mirror. If she is pleased with herself, her chosen one will also be admired.
For those who are not quite happy with their reflection, hairdressers and stylists can help. Hike to the fitness center should also not be put off for a long time.
A woman begins to create non-existent pictures in her head, thereby destroying herself. In psychology, there is such a term as “imaginary third”.
The “risk” group includes women who suffer from chronic diseases and mental disorders, as well as people with a sensitive psyche.
- Older ladies who suffer from sclerotic disorders. Knowing that they may not remember much, they are convinced that they are being cheated on and cheated on.
- Women who have serious illnesses. They believe that no one else is needed and they are a burden to everyone, so any way to attract attention to themselves.
Do not go on about jealousy.
This means that we must learn to give your partner love, but not to demand it from him. We must at the first manifestation of jealousy chase away intrusive thoughts.
The manifestation of excessive jealousy can cause serious damage to health. At the first attacks there is a colossal load on the cardiovascular and nervous system. Immunity decreases, and there are failures in the work of internal organs. Women develop obesity, heart attacks, strokes, and often have nervous breakdowns.
A woman should analyze the situation in order to understand how real her suspicions are. If the signs of jealousy are minor, and she herself can control them, you can try to treat them with humor, or philosophically.
If it is paranoid jealousy, which can not be controlled, it is worth seeking help from specialists.
To help his spouse cope with the problem, the husband must show patience and restraint. In this case, she will see that there is no reason to worry. Trust must arise between the couple, so it is important to communicate with each other more often, to discuss problems together.
Often jealousy arises from low self-esteem, so the spouse must constantly feel how important and desirable to him as a woman. Need to “treat” her soul.
In any relationship you need to find the golden mean, it is important that partners trust each other and give no reason for jealousy. To achieve harmony in the relationship, it is necessary to find a way out of difficult situations together. This is the only way to maintain trust and love for each other.
More about female jealousy and how to deal with it, see the video below.
Female jealousy in relationships with men. Why does she do it?
Certified philologist, experienced editor. The most interesting thing is to do something you’ve never done.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova.
Family psychologist. I have been saving “family units” from disintegration for 8 years. I help couples regain love and mutual understanding.
Although man is an intelligent creature, there is no escaping his instincts. Protecting one’s territory by animals is a natural and necessary process. In the human world this process is accompanied by the notion of jealousy. What is jealousy and how to fight it we will tell in this article. Both women and men are subjected to it.
In both cases, the feeling of jealousy is clearly destructive in nature. The possessor will sooner or later lead his relationship to collapse, for love is a fragile feeling. Female jealousy is usually more sophisticated than male jealousy.
Statistically, the percentage of women who periodically have doubts about their partner’s faithfulness is slightly lower than among men. This conclusion was made not so long ago on the basis of a large-scale sociological study of American professor David Fredrick. For many people this fact will come as a surprise. But it has a reasonable explanation, based on the theory of evolution and the history of human development.
A man cannot be certain of his paternity. On the contrary, a woman always knows that she is the mother. This accounts for the fact that men are more likely to be jealous. This also explains the differences in attitudes toward fidelity among the sexes.
Women are more afraid that their partner is thinking about others. For the weaker sex, a psycho-emotional union is much more important than a physical one. With a strong emotional attachment, a woman knows that she and her offspring are protected by the “male.”
“Jealous means loving.”
One of the clearest misconceptions in matters of devotion and love, is the belief that jealousy is an obligatory attribute of a harmonious love relationship. If you are not jealous, then your partner does not care.
But this statement is erroneous. Especially if there is no desire to find out why a girl is jealous! Statistical observations and social studies have long proven that jealousy is directly related to the level of independence and mental stability. The more self-sufficient the woman, the less she is inclined to make a scene of jealousy.
The degree of upbringing also greatly affects a woman’s behavior. If a girl has formed a psychological trauma as a child (for example, her father cheated on her mother”), she will not start trusting men unconditionally as an adult.
In such a situation a woman is a volcano that erupts at every, even insignificant, occasion. Such ladies can make an epic jealousy scene at any time and under any circumstances.
Let’s say a man celebrates his birthday with family, friends and colleagues at a restaurant. The turn comes for a birthday greeting from a school friend. She says touching words, gives a gift and kisses her friend on the cheek. There he is, a clear excuse to make a grand scene.
Jealous women are incapable of controlling their emotions and reasoning. They can not stop the fact that the favorite favorite holiday, and a number of guests. Jealousy attacks may be accompanied by foul language and even end with assaults.
Situations equivalent to the above often accompany owners. There is no way to explain this behavior by love. Pathological female jealousy is an indication to seek help from a psychologist. All about the psychology of jealousy and ways to cope with it in our article.
Reasons for jealousy
According to the luminaries of psychology, the prerequisites for a jealous attitude toward a partner begin in girls at a very young age. Parents should definitely pay attention to their relationships, because they leave a clear imprint on young children’s minds.
Very often a child hears things that are not intended for his or her mind at all. If the father or mother in a relationship was unfaithful and it affected the atmosphere in the family, then there is a 90% chance that the girl will form a fear of being betrayed by a man.
The main problems why girls get jealous include:
- Injustice. This feeling is caused by the fact that a woman, when she enters into a relationship with her partner, completely associates herself with him. Simply put, she believes that they are now one and the same. If the guy looks on the side, and a woman puts all of herself into their union, she feels the dishonesty of what is happening.
- Girls are very afraid to be betrayed. Cheating is often interpreted by them as a special kind of betrayal. The world where the couple “together and forever” is destroyed, betrayed ideals and broken vows.
- Low self-esteem. Probably the most common reason for doubts about a partner. When a woman thinks that she is not beautiful, not smart, and not desirable, it always creates a lot of problems in the relationship.
- She is constantly thinking that if she were her man, she would choose a more interesting and well-groomed partner. In this case, the man is practically powerless. Compliments and praise are perceived by the girl as lying and an attempt to “pull dust in her eyes.
- Fear of being alone. The less independent a woman is, the more she needs a partner in a man by her side. When there are no own hobbies and aspirations, she will go to extremes and occupy her free time with picking on and watching her own partner.
How to recognize a jealous woman?
Love arises spontaneously. This feeling is hardly possible to predict. But to keep it for many years, you will have to make serious efforts. Jealousy is clearly not a helper, but an enemy.
However, it is impossible to know for sure if the relationship will be accompanied by scandals against the background of jealousy.
There are a number of signs that will definitely help identify the pathological owner.
- “Detective agency”. Possession is the opposite of love. But a jealous man always seeks to take all the movements and communications of his partner under his own control.This can be expressed in different ways, not always explicitly. A woman can both ask her questions on the forehead and peek into a man’s phone discreetly.
- “Developed fantasy”. The man you love got held up at work or at a bar with friends? Well, who works 12 hours a day? And in the bar well be sure to spend the evening a gorgeous curvy brunette who really wants to have an affair with another man.
- The suitor has not done anything clearly reprehensible, but, returning to the cozy nest, there he comes across a disheveled and angry woman. She was just having a very useful time. To her detriment, she didn’t watch her favorite movie or get a manicure, but made up by the power of her own imagination such terrible pictures of infidelity that even Othello couldn’t dream.
- “The Investigator. In addition to detective activity, female jealousy manifests itself in the presentation of non-existent accusations, to which the man must constantly give rebuttal arguments and provide unshakable evidence of his innocence.
- “The Furious Fury. Women are capable of making passionate performances and large-scale scenes of jealousy, even in an empty space. This causes great damage to the mutual respect of the partners, because in an outburst a lot of dirt is often said to each other.
Do men like “passionate natures”?
Passionate women certainly can’t help but excite men’s thoughts. But do you have to act like Othello to be loved? How do men feel about jealousy on the part of the lady of the heart?
To a certain extent, jealousy can flatter a man’s ego. But in most cases, it acts as a serious irritant. Perhaps in small doses, jealous behavior can excite and inflame a stale relationship. When there are constant problems of mistrust in a partner’s fidelity, love fades quickly.
In fact, men experience discomfort and fear when faced with a jealous girlfriend. Their usual image of the “keeper of the hearth” and “mother of children” does not match the disheveled and shouting foul language lady. In such a situation, they try as soon as possible to end such a relationship and find a quieter and gentler companion.
Interestingly, according to statistics, jealousy is the second most popular reason for committing serious crimes. It clouds the mind and makes it impossible to take control.
How do you regain your psychological balance?
Struggling with hypertrophied feelings of jealousy is not the easiest thing to do. It is important to want very much to change yourself. To do this, it is worth asking an experienced specialist for help.
First, you should clearly define their goals and give yourself categorical arguments why it is necessary to eliminate the destructive feeling of the family.
The second task is to raise your own self-esteem. It is important for women to feel themselves worthy of love and loyalty. This requires that you like yourself outwardly. It is worth to reconsider your attitude to appearance and to watch him 24 hours a day.
In the beginning it will be difficult, but then it will become a habit of such little things as nice clothes at home, neat haircut, even to sleep, well-groomed hands and other “things” that create the image of a well-groomed lady.
Self-development is the most important ally in the fight against female jealousy. The main thing is that a woman who has a favorite profession or is passionate about any kind of activity becomes more fulfilled spiritually, and irritability in general decreases. This applies not only to women, but also to men. To be interesting to yourself, to know your own worth are more pleasant moments than insecurity and fear of being lonely and resentful.
“If you are afraid of losing someone, then lose it and don’t be afraid anymore.” This expression is one hundred percent true. It is a known fact that jealous people are more likely to have problems with their cardiovascular system, nerves and health in general. If there is a panic fear of losing a loved one, you need to either work on yourself and find harmony. Or break off the “toxic” relationship and take care of yourself.
In addition, it is important to understand that even after finding undeniable evidence of adultery, you need to have the courage to apply the information received in life. How often it happens that a woman strives very long and hard to find evidence of marital infidelity. Then, upon learning that this fact is undeniable, there are multiple scenes of jealousy, arguments, and accusations.
And as a result, the couple continues to coexist together in the same space. The man is comfortable with a stable partner, the woman is afraid of losing what she has worked so hard to create. You don’t know what all the fuss is about. The conclusions are not made, the problems are not solved. So you should be clearly aware of where you want to go in the end.
Female jealousy – a process exhausting both sides of the love affair. Hormones sometimes lead a woman to reckless actions and even crimes. Although jealousy is not a disease in the standard sense and is due to evolutionary factors, it must be fought with the help of loved ones and qualified professionals in the field of psychology.
Without trust, there is no strong and harmonious relationship in a couple. Human feelings – a fragile substance, which is very easy to destroy by harsh attacks, and even words that jealous people may not even remember.
Realizing what caused the destructive behavior, you can not only get rid of poisonous feelings, but also in general to develop his personality. The desire to be better tomorrow than today is the most commendable and noble of all possible.