The man stopped communicating without explanation: the main reasons
If a man stopped communicating without explanation, it does not mean that there are no reasons. The impetus for such behavior is always there. In this situation, the abandoned party is seized by emotions, and in such a state it is easy to do stupid things. Often girls become aggressive, trying to pursue and blackmail their partner. It should be understood that such actions do not rekindle the extinct feelings. But if you approach the situation in a more cold-blooded manner, there is a small chance to reanimate the relationship.
The main reasons for cessation of correspondence
Even being at a considerable distance, people can get acquainted and freely enter into correspondence. A variety of gadgets and free access to the Internet have made the world easier and more convenient. Unfortunately (or fortunately), interpersonal relationships have not become easier.
Often there are situations when, after a long correspondence and even a real relationship, the guy stops writing and calling, does not respond to calls and messages. Before you react to this situation in a certain way, it is worth to understand its possible causes. Many of them lie in the plane of male psychology.
Loss of interest
A girl sympathizes with a guy, in her head is already drawn their future wonderful romance with a wedding and having children. But he just did not like his new acquaintance: in messenger and social networks she sends processed photos, where she appears beautiful with a perfect face and a slender figure, but in real life is very mediocre-looking. In this case, the guy will stop contacting already after the first date, if the girl fails to mesmerize him with her inner content.
It is not always about appearance. Perhaps initially there were notes of sympathy, but during a more detailed communication he saw that her interests, world outlook and other aspects of personality do not coincide with his. Afraid to offend the lady with his unwillingness to communicate, he politely writes something like “I have to run” and disappears.
If the guy you like suddenly disappeared, you should not rush to blame him for rudeness. He may be in a difficult life situation:
- The death of a relative. He had to leave urgently to another city or country for a while. He does not communicate with the girl for a long time, the death of a loved one stunned him. He has neither the moral strength nor the time to correspond.
- Assault. Bullies took away his phone and money, most likely crippled him. The guy may be in the hospital.
- Travel. At work, he was instructed to go to a place where there is no Internet and no cellular service. He doesn’t have time to tell the girl because the case is urgent. It’s possible the guy’s phone or laptop could have broken down. And that’s the most likely reason of all. But nothing can be denied until the circumstances are clarified. But his constant appearance online with ignoring calls and messages suggests a banal unwillingness to communicate.
Refusal to communicate can be caused by a guy’s changed attitude. For example, after meeting one girl he met another and realized that the latter option is his ideal. He is caught up in a storm of emotions and forgot about his previous girlfriend. Another option is that he started a correspondence, but in the process he realized that he rushed to conclusions. In the end, the beau decided to evaporate.
The reason for a man’s disappearance is not always of a romantic nature. You have to understand that he has other things to do, hobbies. He, unlike a woman, cannot do several things at the same time. The girl should accept the fact: while the man is busy with his hobby, he will stay away for a while. There is no point in fighting this, because even if he refuses for the sake of love from his hobby, he will soon find a new one anyway.
Often the reason for the discord in the relationship and the silent withdrawal of the partner is resentment. The woman constantly expresses dissatisfaction and contempt. For months or years he has been enduring all the insults and accusations that are a dead weight settled on his soul. And at one point the partner realizes that he can no longer tolerate.
He quickly leaves, so as not to explode. The man runs away, obeying his instinct for self-preservation. He cannot or does not want to negotiate or try to solve the problem in a more diplomatic way. The easiest way out is a banal escape.
The departure of a man without explanation may be determined by other reasons. For example, you have stopped communicating with the guy as your lover, the passion in the relationship has subsided. With his disappearance, he is trying to put a price on himself, to incite the girl. Sometimes a guy does this if he feels like a star from the beginning and tries to live up to this image in his communication with the girl.
A guy can disappear if he feels the girl is too good for him. When her level of education, looks and status are higher, he will feel worthless around her. Maintaining such a relationship is difficult. To feel his worth, he needs to lower the bar. He runs away and goes in search of a suitable match.
Another explanation for a missing man is the presence of a spouse. He can disappear abruptly if both partners (wife and mistress) have become suspicious of each other. If suspicions arise, it is necessary to be especially vigilant and to notice all oddities in the behavior of the lover, including telephone correspondence.
Mistakes of the other party
The sudden disappearance of a young man is an unpleasant situation. Being under the pressure of emotions, it is difficult not to do something stupid. To cope with the negativity, you need to show resilience and try to reason sensibly.
Manifestation of aggression
If the guy has abruptly come off, it is worth abandoning rude and vindictive methods. There is no need to act like a debt collector, knocking out debts from defaulters. Even if the man and will affect the threats, and he agrees to stay, it is unlikely to be called love.
It is better to try to neutralize the negative message or try to restart it with a plus sign, that is, to direct this energy to find a new partner. Perhaps this will be a true soul mate, and it is better to forget about the one who left in the English way forever.
Also, do not overwhelm the missing guy with endless calls and messages in all messengers. Once will be enough to express your concern and indignation. If he disappeared after a quarrel, then, after cooling down, be sure to contact his girlfriend and apologize for overreacting. Constant calls are a sign of deep dependence on the person, which he can use in any subsequent situation in his favor.
For the same reason, you shouldn’t maniacally stalk and try to see your date. If a girl is constantly trying to set up a chance meeting, waiting for the guy at every corner, he may not be scared out of his wits and even call the police. You need to be above such behavior.
In an attempt to get back a missing partner, girls often cross the line. They begin to manipulate, writing him endless messages about how sad and lonely they are.
If the couple has children together, they also become a tool for manipulation and attempts to cause guilt. This is a misguided and completely unproductive strategy, dictated by the woman’s desperation and low self-esteem.
You shouldn’t get your hopes up too high if a guy goes missing after the first intimacy or date. Resuming a relationship works better when the couple has been dating for some time. If there is hope, you need to act clearly but carefully.
Calm down .
First, you need to get your emotional state in order. Browsing photos of your lover in social networks 24 hours a day will not solve the problem, but it will drive you even deeper into depression. First you need to let yourself throw out the negative: sob on your girlfriend’s shoulder to a sad song, go to the shooting gallery, rasping pillow. When the negative emotions are gone, you need to fill their place with pleasant ones. This is a great time for shopping, exercising, visiting a beauty salon, going to the mountains. The main thing is not to allow yourself to mope.
You need to leave the boyfriend alone as well, especially if he reacts aggressively to attempts to find out the reasons or ignores the question. It’s not necessary to try to wear him down. It’s better to accept the man’s decision and leave this action on his conscience.
An outsider’s view
The next step is to try to understand why the man acted the way he did. Focus should be not only on his motives, but also on your own guilt in this situation. If the girl was wrong, you could try to fix it with an apology on your own initiative.
On the other hand, reflection on the situation will help put everything into perspective and learn a life lesson. From now on, the girl will choose her partners more carefully so as not to create similar problems for herself. You should not devalue the experience of life and focus on the negative aspects. Life has many colors, it is not only black and white. Every situation carries a positive message, at least in the form of a lesson.
Give yourself a gentle hint.
If the cause is not force majeure, you should try to get your partner to talk. Let it be a bitter, but honest confession. Perhaps the girl may still be able to change the decision the guy, to correct his mistakes. For example, to give up bad habits, to show more attention and care.
A heart-to-heart talk is the minimum that a woman can do in this situation. The maximum – to try to change her behavior for the better, if this is the reason for her lover’s departure.
In the end, the situation can have two paths of development. From this follows two legitimate outcomes:
- The girl does not want to let her partner go, putting pressure on him. He feels a loss of himself as a person next to his partner, dissolving in the relationship. The guy feels discomfort, so he subconsciously leaves the woman in order to regain his own self. He needs to be alone for a while, even if there are no thoughts of separation, divorce. Without realizing it, the girl herself ruins the relationship. Constant calls and thirst for explanations only repel the partner. The likelihood that he will return becomes lower. About the situation when the guy initially did not plan for further development of the relationship, but the girl thinks otherwise, there is no need to talk about it, as self-humiliation will not solve the problem.
- If the man disappeared, but appeared after the woman’s call, it means that all is not yet lost. He is open to conversation, which is still undecided about his feelings. Further situation develops according to the script partner and depends on how competent her behavior will be. No need to succumb to the impulse to take revenge on him, to fall in love again and trample. It is better to analyze your relationship to a man, think about what attracts it: appearance, status, personality or all at once. If it turns out that there are no feelings, and the girl is moved only by excitement, then you should refuse to continue the novel. But when you have feelings, you should not immediately rush into his arms. It is important to make the man understand that this behavior is not the norm. But it is not necessary to reproach him for anything, because this is another crisis that both have safely survived.
If the man disappeared without explanation (stopped to get in touch, appear on the doorstep), it is worth to think about and analyze the situation. There may be many reasons. To begin with, it is worth trying to find out the reason directly from him. But if he ignores the question, you do not need to be persistent and behave aggressively. Waiting will be the best tactic.
Journalist, editor, author of numerous articles on family and social psychology. Participant in conferences on psychology and pedagogy .
Why did a man abruptly stop communicating without explanation?
You met a man, everything was good with you: you went for a walk, communicated a lot. But at some point he stopped communicating, does not write or call. What can be caused by his behavior? What to do in this situation? The answer to these questions you will learn in our article.
Why has the man stopped communicating
Before answering the question of what to do when a man has stopped communicating, does not call or write, you need to understand why he does so, what is the reason for such behavior. It is from this understanding and will depend on the correctness of action.
- First of all, honestly answer for yourself who you this man.
What kind of relationship you have. Or he was just a friend, or it was after the first intimate relationship, or after another scandal he stopped all communication.
- If you had your first intimacy and the man disappeared after it, then his goal is accomplished, his plans went no further than that point.
Maybe he is in another relationship, or during the intimacy, he realized that it was not worth continuing to communicate further. Or there could be another side to the coin: the man doubted himself as a skillful partner, something, in his opinion, did not go as he had planned.
- He may be manipulating you, using the technique of emotional swings.
One minute he’s attentive, nice, then there’s an abrupt change of mood. If you are psychologically untrained, you become emotionally dependent on him.
- Perhaps the man is really busy.
He can’t give you as much attention as he would like. In this case, the urge to see you comes from him. But he has work or school stuff piling up. Men have a more rational mindset. They put work things first.
- The man is in another relationship, maybe even married.
- The man may have made the decision to break up, but he didn’t have the courage to say it face to face, so he disappeared just like that, without explanation.
- Maybe your communication has been going on for a few weeks, he doesn’t want an active development.
He needs time to get used to you, to see you as a candidate for a closer relationship.
- Maybe something happened in your last meeting that led to this development.
Maybe you inadvertently offended the man, or so he shows his jealousy. Analyze your last communication.
Why does a man disappear without explanation?
- Young men are just as affected by insecurity as we are. Maybe you made a stunning impression on him, and he does not know how to approach you, how to continue communicating.
He’s shy to talk. He has the opinion that a girl like you are sure to have many admirers.
What to do if a man has stopped writing and calling
To continue communicating with such a man who stopped communicating with you, write or call, or not, it is up to you to decide. Of course, you can say that if a man needs you, he will overcome all the obstacles that prevent communication with you. And there is some truth in that. But what is being said here is not the ideal, which is not always the case in real life.
If this man is dear to you, and you have decided to be proactive and try to get back in the relationship, then try to act as follows:
- If you had intimacy and the man disappeared after that, you can text him, “I liked it, it was cool. How’s it going?”.
Take the initiative, but don’t seek a further relationship. You’re just showing your willingness to keep in touch. There’s no need to call. If he doesn’t answer you, you shouldn’t be proactive further.
If he gives you rank answers: “I liked it too, I’m going to work,” then you can afford to get in touch again in a day or two. Don’t ask questions like, “And that’s after all this time?”, “And what am I to you now?”, “That’s all you wanted, right?”
They will only push a man away. You don’t have to pursue him. Don’t draw negative, destructive conclusions about yourself that will lower your self-esteem.
- Leave the man alone, understand that you have personal boundaries, neither he nor you owe each other anything.
If you think he owes you, then analyze whether you had such an arrangement.
- If your meetings were fleeting, the man disappeared after a few meetings, then there is no need to get your hopes up, live with expectations of a call, a letter.
You’re putting a lot into a non-existent picture. There will be a lot of disappointment after that. Live by the fact, don’t build a relationship for yourself for several meetings in advance. If a man is missing, but you are interested in him, then text him, no need to call.
Ask him how he’s doing, wish him a good day, send a picture. Remind him of yourself. But don’t put a lot of your energy.
- If the man did not write for a long time, and then he showed up, got in touch, your actions should match your desires.
Answer yourself the question, “Do I want to keep communicating with him, am I comfortable with him? If your answer is yes, then continue the communication. Tell him if you have a personal conversation or on the phone, or write, if on messenger, that you are happy to hear him, to see him.
If you don’t want to communicate with him, thank him for the message and tell him you have other priorities. But by no means text or tell him, “Where have you been?” or “What’s up, huh?” You’ll look like a mother reprimanding her prodigal son. That’s not effective.
- If a man goes missing for a while and then shows up, and he’s a married man, why would you want that kind of relationship? Why would you waste your time on him?
- Show ignorance.
Pretend that you don’t care, you don’t expect any message, call from him. Control yourself, be cool. Take care of yourself, go out, have fun, develop, go to sports, dance, read books, including psychology.
Do not get in touch first, if it has been less than a week. If it’s been more than a week, write him a fleeting, meaningless message, ask him how he’s doing. If he has the slightest interest in you, he’ll get in touch with you. If he did not get in touch, well, then he is not your man.
- Do not allow yourself to be manipulated.
If you spin around men, and he includes emotional swings, for weeks he does not get in touch, disappears, think about whether you need such a relationship. After all, relationships are built by two people. You can not do it alone.
- Stop thinking that you’re not worthy of something, that your happiness depends on men.
Engage his self-esteem, confidence, love yourself, self-educate. Find yourself an interesting hobby. When you become a self-confident and self-sufficient woman whose happiness depends on the man, you will not have to ask how to pay attention to yourself if a man is missing.
If a man stopped communicating, calling and writing, then find out the reason for his behavior. Once he showed up, listen to his arguments and make conclusions for yourself or you want to communicate with him or not. Then act on your desire.