Why a man does not want a relationship or bachelor syndrome
Journalist, webwriter, blogger. Telling stories that readers love.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I save “family units” from collapse. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Not always the answer to the question of why a man does not want a relationship, is only in his selfishness and consumerist view of the world. Often, many important factors lead to this situation, which women should be aware of before breaking the connection with the man they love.
- 1 The beginnings of a relationship between a man and a woman
- 2 Bachelor syndrome – its manifestations and causes
The genesis of the relationship between a man and a woman.
Often, even when acquainted with a man, women make some mistakes that completely kill the relationship at the beginning.
The main and most common mistake most women make is the instinct of ownership. Yes, men are not the only ones who have this problem. Some ladies immediately after meeting and mutual sympathy try to take the “bull by the horns”. They hang on men’s necks, call and write many times a day and actually demand meetings.
When meeting such a woman, almost all men prefer to hide from her horizon and not even try to get to know her better. It is extremely important for a man to feel and understand that he is the one who chose the woman and achieved it, and not the other way around.
Speaking of relationships, a man also needs time to realize that he himself wants a serious relationship with a particular woman and not with anyone else. If a woman is not sure that they have started a relationship with a man she is interested in, it is better to refrain from intimacy, so as not to regret bitterly later.
The second common mistake in women – too openness. Men, unlike women, may well have sex with a partner for which they do not feel any feelings. At the same time, for many women, physical intimacy is already evidence of a serious relationship. These women immediately open up to a man, telling him about their own feelings and plans for five children and a house by the sea.
In this situation, a man will either continue to sleep with the woman without a full relationship, or leave at the first opportunity. It is extremely important for beautiful women to maintain some mystery around, and not to talk about their feelings until it is clear that it is a relationship, and not about sex with no strings attached.
The demanding nature of the lady is another reason why a man may avoid a serious relationship. When at the beginning of acquaintance a woman begins to present a man with a lot of claims along with demands, justifying that he owes her because he is a man – you can forget about the relationship. First of all, to put any personal demands to a man, you need to meet his requirements.
Secondly, even if the relationship has already begun, but has not yet developed any requirements is out of the question. Especially if such a relationship is based only on sex. It is more likely to be called a mutually beneficial cooperation than a partnership.
The pile of problems that single women often dump on a new man they know can scare away anyone. Of course, every divorced or single lady dreams that there will be a man who will immediately rush to help her and solve her problems. But this is a fate of television novels, but not of real life.
In real life, no one wants to take on someone else’s problems right away. Mutual help requires a long time of communication, trust and at least feelings. When a woman right after meeting a man begins to tell about his life’s problems and troubles that need to be solved, you can forget that he wants a relationship with her.
After all, you agree that a woman is unlikely to want to get in touch with a man without a job, money, housing, with a bunch of illnesses and debts. Everyone wants to see a man who is happy and well off next to him.
Bachelor syndrome – its manifestations and causes.
Despite all of the above, there are situations where a woman behaves perfectly, but the man does not want a relationship – why? Psychologists in the field of relationships say that the reason for this may be the “bachelor syndrome”.
For the first time this syndrome was mentioned by scientists from the UK, who conducted a huge amount of research in the field of relationships between men and women, their emergence and development. They tell us that the source of the development of this syndrome is a negative experience with a girl.
Of course, not every experience of unrequited, adolescent love is capable of leading to these consequences. The reason for the bachelor syndrome is a persistent and long experience of a man’s relationship with a woman who ended in failure and heartbreak.
It is this that leads to a subconscious, negative association in some men to the obligations that arise in a serious relationship. Such men cannot do without sex, for the sake of which they may go into a relationship with a woman, but the relationship itself will be superficial and unnecessary.
A man with such a psychological problem, even in a relationship will not tell you absolutely everything about himself, can disappear for a long time and will be extremely impatient to a woman’s tantrums.
Representatives of the strong half of mankind with a similar syndrome perceive a serious relationship as an end to their freedom, fun and high-grade sex. Basically, they associate the relationship with the spouses, who have long been bored with each other and are constantly fighting.
If the reason why a man does not want a relationship is precisely this psychological syndrome, it is unlikely that a woman should waste her time, energy, feelings on him. The reality shows that men suffering from this problem very rarely “heal” and that requires the help of professionals.
Of course, women want to believe that it is her persistence, love and faith will save this man from his deep-seated beliefs and stereotypes. But this is not the case.
If the beginning of the relationship is prevented by a man’s position that he does not need a serious relationship, this man should be left alone. Until he decides for himself that he wants this kind of relationship it is useless to fight with him and for him.
Not only men, but also girls avoid relationships. And to solve this problem and to get out of this state, it is necessary to find out the cause. What will be discussed in the following article.
11 main reasons why men do not want a relationship
Compared to women, men are much less likely to seek out long-term relationships. There are several reasons for this phenomenon.
Many men feel that they have to sacrifice too much of what they love in their single and independent lives. They love the free life and are afraid of commitment.
However, the situation can also easily change, as many modern women also prefer to remain single, and not commit to a relationship.
Here, the main reasons why members of the stronger sex avoid serious relationships .
The psychology of the man in a relationship
1. Loss of their time.
Men are social creatures. They may not be the most talkative or involved in various situations, but a lot changes when they are in their environment. Guys like to spend time with friends and buddies, or just relax in their “den” . Time spent at the sports bar, playing video games, watching action movies, or time at the gym are all integral parts of a man’s life.
However, when a man gets into a serious relationship, much of his time disappears. Many are not willing to make that sacrifice, and so they prefer to stay alone and keep control of their time.
Ask most guys why they are single, or why they left a former relationship, and many of them will mention acrimony. The truth is that men overlook many things, while women tend to pick on little things.
For example, if the girlfriend did not react to the new hairstyle or outfit of a woman, this little thing can turn into a real fight. It is for this reason that women so often have pseudo girlfriends.
This character trait is very much repulsive to the stronger sex, and many of them would prefer solitude to a relationship with a sarcastic partner.
3. Difference in self-determination.
This point can be applied to all relationships between a man and a woman. Men often define themselves in terms of what they do, how much they earn, what kind of car they drive, and so on. In other words, they reason in terms of “I” .
This is quite different from women who, once in a relationship, look at everything from a “We” point of view. You don’t have to be an expert to realize that such differences can have disastrous consequences. That is why loneliness for many men is preferable to losing one’s identity.
It is a trait that is not peculiar to most women, but if a woman has it, it is often in excess. Women can be so insecure in relationships that they are constantly spying, watching and questioning their boyfriends.
The bottom line is that if there is no trust in the relationship, then they have no foundation by which both people can be together .
Men can’t stand jealous women and would rather be alone.
The relationship between a man and a woman
5. Intimacy Without Commitment.
As the actor Charlie Sheen, who is known for his love of women of easy virtue, said, “I don’t pay for sex, I pay for her to go away.” This expression quite accurately describes how men view intimate relationships.
Men love sex, but they may not be thrilled with the emotional connection and responsibility that comes with it. This is why some men favor a lot of short-term hookups over a serious relationship.
6. Excessive emotionalism of a girl.
This phenomenon is known as broken nail syndrome , and is one of the main differences between men and women. A woman who has broken a nail may react as if she has lost one of her limbs.
Similarly, a man may not notice a new hairstyle or forget to call, and this can become an emergency situation.
Men have a hard time with women who make a big deal out of it, and this is one of the main reasons why they don’t like being in a relationship.
If a group of girlfriends gathers to have a good time, you can be almost certain that they will gossip . Women are quite adept at discussing other people’s lives. Of course, there are men who like to gossip too, but it tends to be more peculiar to women.
Men can’t stand women who like to gossip, and can quickly choose the loneliness of having to put up with a gossipy woman.
8. A woman who stops taking care of herself.
This often happens in long-term relationships. When we start dating, we each try to look our best for our new partner. But as the relationship becomes permanent, men notice that women stop taking such great care of their appearance.
They stop dressing up, wearing makeup, or watching their weight. However, a man, regardless of whether he is in a relationship, always wants to see a woman who looks great .
This is often the cause of discord in a relationship, and many men will choose to be single to avoid it all.
9. Maturity Difference.
Women mature faster than men. This trend can be traced back to childhood, when boys like to play with toy cars and superheroes, while girls’ games center around strollers, toy houses and miniature kitchens.
Women turn into caretakers very quickly, while men prefer to have as much fun as possible for as long as possible regardless of age .
10. Fear of responsibility.
Many men can’t handle the responsibility that a serious relationship entails .
They see the development of relationships as: dating, long-term relationships, engagement, marriage, children, aging, and death.
For many men, these major milestones in life are too much of a burden, and they prefer to have fun and date different girls. Women, on the contrary, are more eager to settle down and start a family as early as possible.
11) Being obtrusive and picky.
There is another big taboo for men. Many agree to give up their time and even adjust to some degree to jealousy and nagging, but they immediately run away from the obsessive and nagging woman.
No man wants a woman constantly complaining or picking on him about various issues .
Also, men do not want to deal with a woman who is very intrusive and lacks any independence. So if you find yourself with any of these traits, it’s time to change something.