8 reasons why her husband does not respect his wife
Why your husband does not respect you: who is to blame and what to do about it?
Quite often it happens when the husband does not respect his wife. What causes this and how to solve the problem of disrespectful attitude?
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Respect in family life is the foundation of family well-being, acceptance of the character traits, habits and goals of the other half. Disrespectful attitudes manifest themselves due to a number of reasons. The main reasons why the husband does not respect his wife:
- Dictatorial behavior toward the husband;
- constant criticism and control of the man;
- lack of interest in the life and problems of the spouse;
- husband’s limited money and control of money by the wife;
- constant reproaches and insults;
- rude communication with any kind of violence;
- disrespect and devaluation on the part of the wife;
- Infidelity by the wife.
When a woman behaves this way with a man, he ceases to feel like the head of the family, becomes estranged from his wife, and ceases to respect her. Over time, a man begins to do everything to spite his wife, thereby offending her.
Psychologists also put forward their own reasons that do not depend on the woman:
- Copying the behavior of the parents;
- Renegotiation of the model of communication of authoritative friends, acquaintances;
- psychological trauma received in childhood;
- the peculiarities of a person’s character.
8 signs by which you can understand that your husband does not respect you
- The man shows that he is bored in your society;
- he despises your life goals;
- he accuses, insults and behaves in a rude manner;
- he prioritizes everything (friends, hobbies, work) except his wife;
- He shows a chill in his feelings and often refuses to be intimate;
- he compares his wife to other women;
- he cheats and hides little things from his wife;
- a man in a quarrel says he regrets the marriage.
Husband insults me – does that mean he doesn’t respect me?
All kinds of insults to the spouse is a sign of total disrespect. He makes it clear that he is not afraid to lose you, so he does not even try to hold his own.If your husband allows himself to behave like this with you, it means you allow him to treat himself this way. Often a woman provokes a man to be rude by picking on him and blaming him for all of his family problems.
A man who just insults his wife, most likely has low self-esteem, a bunch of complexes and failure as a man. Against the backdrop of his spouse, he no longer feels limited and he likes to behave that way.
What can cause a husband to lose respect for his wife?
In married life, two people who love each other get used to each other. They face a lot of problems and everyday life, including . This is a serious test for the spouses. If spouses support, understand and accept each other for who they are, then there will never be disrespectful treatment between them.
A man stops respecting his wife when she :
- Does not respect her husband;
- dominates him;
- is constantly dissatisfied with her husband’s actions;
- tries in every way to change him;
- often refuses him in intimacy.
What to do if the husband does not respect his wife?
If you are losing the respect of your husband, you urgently need to combat this. Find out the reason for disrespectful treatment through negotiations.
How do you get your husband to behave respectfully?
- Stop any disrespectful action towards yourself.
- Explain to him that you do not intend to tolerate rudeness.
- Refuse to talk to him in that tone.
- Give him time to cool down.
You should not give weakness in this matter, show the man that you love him, appreciate and cherish it. In return, you will also get a good attitude from him.
If the reason lies in the man himself, there are two options:
- Put the man in his place and not allow him to behave in this way;
- If the situation gets worse and nothing helps, then it’s easier to leave.
My husband does not respect me – then divorce?
No need to cut off the shoulder right away. It is necessary to understand the situation and the reasons for this behavior, because divorce is a serious, considered step without the possibility of return.
On the other hand, if you have tried all the methods and your husband does not hear you and does not want to go to you to meet, then you should not be patient. Then he is not your man. You are just with him so different that you can not find a compromise and common ground. Man was not born to endure a lifetime of disrespect. Everyone makes his own decision and take full responsibility for it.
What to do if a man does not respect his wife: how to prevent disrespect
Disrespect for women has deep historical roots, in some countries patriarchy remains the dominant form of social organization to this day. While in some countries women do play on an equal footing with men in almost all spheres of life, in dozens of other states women continue to be systematically discriminated against. In most countries, however, society is moving closer to gender equality and mutual respect between men and women, wife and husband.
Relationships in the family between two people are built differently, and it often happens that the husband does not respect his wife. How this can manifest itself, for what reasons there is disrespect and what to do in such situations, we will talk in this article.
You will get useful recommendations and practical advice from a psychologist that will improve the quality of your life.
“Husband does not respect me” – these are the words with which women often come to see a psychologist to get advice, change the situation and save the marriage. But even more women tolerate such an attitude towards themselves, including because they do not know how to express disrespect from the spouse.
A woman may feel, but not understand, that she is not being treated appropriately. To avoid this kind of thing, let’s look at the basic and most common signs that confirm that your husband does not respect you:
Most of the triggers for not being appreciated in men are laid down in childhood or adolescence. One of the most severe is a psychological trauma experienced by your spouse in the past.
The true cause may be unknown to you, most men hide them, for example:
– A husband doesn’t respect his wife if he doesn’t feel the need to talk about his actions, even if they affect everyone in the family. For example, he planned a trip, even bought the tickets already, and only after that he let you know (not as a pleasant surprise, but as a given).
– You are restricted in your aspirations and creative impulses. The most trivial example – my husband adamantly opposed to the fact that you have a hobby or get a job.
– Ignoring requests. One of the most common signs of disrespect, you can ask a dozen times to do a little thing and your requests go unheeded. The man may say that he will do what you asked, but this agreement looks like a wave-off in the style of “aha” and no action follows.
– Failure to keep promises made. If ignoring requests is mostly about the mundane, promises are more difficult. If promises made (usually more global than screwing in a light bulb or hanging a shelf) are not kept, it is a clear sign that the husband does not respect his spouse. We are not talking about situations where something really serious has prevented the fulfillment of a promise; what is meant is ignoring it.
– Comparison with other women. This fact in itself is sad, but even worse, if the comparison is not in your favor, you are made in a bad light. Such a sign indicates not only that her husband does not respect you, but also does not appreciate.
Reasons for the true manifestations of the husband’s disrespect for his wife
If a man does not respect a woman, the reasons for this can be quite a lot. Of course, disrespect can manifest itself in different ways, as discussed above and will follow. But in some cases, the situation can be changed, and in order to combat this attitude, it is necessary to understand the causes.
Let’s look at the most common ones, and also understand how such behavior is formed.
– Lack of love or attention from parents.
Psychological trauma breaks a person’s worldview, as a result of which he may unconsciously misbehave, even in relation to the woman he loves. This reason many wives feel compassion, but if you are not appreciated, to live in such a marriage is not only difficult, but also dangerous for psychological health.
Pay attention! The above are veiled signs of disrespect that many women do not notice or subconsciously ignore. But if a woman has to tolerate physical abuse from a man, it is the clearest sign of disrespect and indifference. Never tolerate physical violence, there is no excuse for such behavior.
Signs by which you can understand when the husband does not respect his wife
Above, we have already considered veiled signs of disrespect of representatives of the stronger sex to their spouses. But if a man does not respect a woman, it can be expressed quite openly.
– Become self-sufficient – first of all, this concerns your personal income, because most men – pragmatists. Get a well-paying job, do not ask him for money and provide for their own needs.
Then the man will have much less reason to reproach you. In addition, he will feel that you are not lost without it, and therefore may start to fear losing you. The same applies to their own goals, desires, interests and other things.
– Respect your spouse – If your wife has ceased to respect your husband or respect was absent from the beginning, the mutual respect is out of the question. Do not raise your voice to your loved one, to compare it with someone else, to criticize.
– No need to please him – if you are criticized and treated disrespectfully, do not try to please her husband in an attempt to cause his approval. On the contrary, in this case it is necessary to become self-sufficient.
– Do not be silent – if you are disrespected, do not be silent about it, respond to the situation immediately. Say that this behavior or attitude offends you, hurts you, talk and find a way out of the situation.
Otherwise, after a while you will wonder why the husband does not respect his wife?
Pay attention! There is no exact answer to the question of how to make her husband respect his wife. Each case is different, so you have to understand the problem and apply a method that is effective for you.
Why does mutual respect disappear
Regardless of why the husband does not respect his wife, she responds to such behavior in the same way (and vice versa). As a result, between a man and a woman mutual respect disappears and the relationship comes to an end.
Why this happens, there may be several reasons:
– The woman has made it clear that no matter how the man behaves, she will not go anywhere, such a relationship turns into a consumer relationship;
– wife constantly ignores and tries not to notice the neglectful behavior of the spouse;
– Lack of mutual understanding in the couple, without which there is no mutual respect, because you have different values, interests, views on life;
– Lack of communication, exchange of views, discussion before making any decisions.
As a rule, in such cases, the model of behavior that implies disrespect for women, formed in childhood. This happens when your spouse’s father was a tyrant in the family, treated his mother disrespectfully, in a boorish way, there may even have been incidents of physical abuse.
Man since childhood acquires a wrong understanding of how to treat the opposite sex and without realizing it he resembles his father.
But not every boy who grows up in such a family becomes like his father when he grows up. It is almost impossible to answer the question “why” in this case, it may be the influence of the mother or the child’s genetic disposition, “he is not like that by nature”.
But if the father’s model of behavior is adopted, as a rule, there is not even an understanding that the husband does not appreciate his wife and does not respect her. In this case it is almost impossible to correct the situation in any way.
If the husband does not appreciate his wife, it may also be a consequence of low self-esteem or some complexes. The reasons also often lie in childhood, perhaps, as a boy or a teenager, your spouse experienced some act of violence, he was humiliated at school.
In this case, the lack of respect for women by men gives him a false sense of dominance. Thus, he is trying to assert himself, which indicates a serious psychological problems (perhaps hidden and even unconscious).
The complexes in this case vary greatly from one man to another, including:
– Childhood humiliation;
– lack of a sense of his own masculinity;
– he does not feel self-sufficient;
– he has problems in bed (or thinks he does);
– he has not been able to fulfill himself in life.
Note! As a rule, this behavior, when a man does not appreciate his wife, is possible only in relation to weaker women, physically or emotionally. If a woman is strong in spirit and body, she will not allow this attitude and a complexed man will not be able to resist it.
In this case, the man does not appreciate his spouse and demonstrates this with his whole appearance. He purposely does not want to listen to her, misses the requests and desires of her ears, never interested in her well-being, desires, interests. Such a husband is convinced that his wife does not know or do anything interesting, she will not succeed, etc.
It often happens that if you are not appreciated, you begin to criticize for cause and without cause. In such situations, the husband openly expresses his dissatisfaction with even the smallest blunders of his wife. Moreover, the woman does everything perfectly, the man still finds something to complain about. Dissatisfaction is expressed in the direction of cooked meals, appearance, household duties and other things.
If a man does not openly appreciate and respect his wife, he believes that helping her is above his dignity. They will never help you clean up, they will never offer to carry a heavy bag of groceries into the house. If you ask for help, in response you hear a refusal, and in some cases even supported by criticism.
A more serious expression of disrespect than constant criticism, when you constantly hear reproaches. You may be rebuked for being “dependent on me,” for spending too much money on your needs, for making life miserable.
Most women who consult a psychologist with the complaint – “my husband does not respect me,” notice a total lack of trust from his spouse. This is expressed in unreasonable jealousy and distrust in every detail. Such a man checks receipts after your purchases, monitors your phone conversations, reads your correspondence in social networks.
How to regain the respect of her husband
How do you make your husband respect and appreciate your wife? The answers to this question are quite numerous and should be applied depending on the specific situation, as well as after finding out the reasons for distrust.
But if we talk about the most effective ways, they include:
If a man does not respect a woman, she may make attempts to regain his respect by acting in the wrong way. Such behavior can only aggravate the situation, so let’s look at typical mistakes to avoid making them:
– To provoke jealousy is a fundamentally wrong tactic to start flirting with other men or to provoke jealousy in other ways. You will only further devalue yourself in the eyes of your spouse by causing even more disdain.
– Blackmail – usually, desperate and resentful woman, wondering how to make her husband obey, saying that he will go to his parents, leave him, will file for divorce. Such a move also pushes you away and devalues you. In addition, if you are not going to or cannot carry out your threats, the disrespect is reinforced.
– Ignoring – When you are not appreciated, ignoring comes in emotional or sexual forms. In the first, you don’t talk to your husband, you defiantly go to another room when he shows up, you don’t make breakfast, etc.
In the second, you don’t let him near you, don’t go to the same bed, much less allow intimacy.
Both options are fatal, in the first case, the man may respond with aggression, in the second just find a mistress.
What to do if nothing helps?
If the question of how to make her husband respect and appreciate his wife, you tried everything, but could not succeed, there may be several options for further developments:
– Continue to tolerate, to remain silent, to pretend that everything is all right. It is worth noting right away that this option is destructive and does not bode well for the woman. When you are not appreciated, and you tolerate it, the psyche suffers, and with it the physical condition.
– To go to a family psychologist – the disadvantage of this option is that not every man will take such a step, especially if he does not appreciate his wife and his marriage in general.
– Leaving is a radical solution to the problem, but it may be the only true solution when you are not appreciated and there is no way to influence the situation. Take such a decision a woman must herself, weighing all the options.
Advice from a psychologist: the rules of conduct
We have already considered a few sensible recommendations that help you find an answer to the question of how to make a man respect himself.
However, these are not all the ways, and therefore it is worth taking into account the advice of a psychologist:
– To teach your husband to respect and appreciate you, first of all, you yourself must learn to have these feelings towards yourself. The fact that if a woman has stopped respecting and loving yourself, the same will feel in relation to it and others. Appreciate yourself for who you are or change what you do not like.
– In the matter of how to get her husband to respect his wife, it is important to learn how to discuss. Discuss controversial points, talk to each other and always make important decisions together. Only in this way it is possible to achieve harmony and mutual respect in the relationship.
– Engage in self-development – many women make the mistake of giving themselves completely to the family, taking care of children, house cleaning and other mundane side of the marriage. As a result, you forget to take care of themselves, paying less attention to the spouse, not developing as a person and become uninteresting him. How to make a man to respect yourself? Engage in self-development, keep yourself in shape physically, spiritually, mentally, be versatile and self-sufficient.
– Do not forget about femininity – a very important aspect that many underestimate after marriage. Try to keep your body in good shape, watch your hair, appear in front of your husband with makeup, in attractive clothes. Men love eyes and stop appreciating the image of the housewife, after which the question arises – “how to teach her husband to respect me.
If you notice disrespect for yourself, it is right to ask the question “what to do?”. When you are not appreciated, there is a gradual personal degradation, accumulated emotional tension.
Such a destructive effect on the personality and if you are confused, if you need advice, it makes sense to seek help from a psychologist.