8 reasons why women cheat: You’d be surprised
Women have been taught since childhood to be “good little girls,” to “act like ladies” and to “smile and be patient.” Remember, as in that children’s song, “What, what, what, what are our girls made of? Out of handkerchiefs and clubs, out of riddles and marmalades – our girls are made of!”
But let’s move into the twenty-first century: women are now allowed to be tough, say NO, speak their minds, become CEOs and enjoy physical intimacy. Women have become more assertive, making decisions and acting according to their needs, desires and aspirations. They negotiate, they make deals, they start their own businesses, and often, they are not easy to keep up with.
Some men like this fact, while others feel intimidated. There is no doubt that this change has had a great impact on the relationship between men and women, especially the way women behave.
Although women do it less often, they still have affairs and do “it” behind men’s backs. However, when a woman cheats, she usually does it for emotional intimacy, whereas a man does it for physical pleasure.
Women have changed over the years, it’s true. But they are still emotionally invested in their relationships. They want to feel needed, wanted and irresistible.
Now get ready to hear what I have to say about why women cheat.
1. Lack of attention and intimacy
How long can you go without love and attention before you start looking around? Some – give up in a few days, others – can suffer and endure for years. But there’s no getting away from it: women need tenderness, physical intimacy, and emotional attention and care.
If you’re not getting that from your husband or boyfriend, it’s only a matter of time before you look to someone else. For example, a caring friend, an attentive boyfriend who will meet your emotional needs. And you do not even have to go far: a lover can be found both at work and at the gym. Women who are paid little attention, do not give compliments, do not sympathize, usually have emotional affairs. That doesn’t mean the connection will be platonic. Physical intimacy will happen sooner or later, but for women, attention and empathy come first, which is not present in their relationship with their husband or partner.
When you’ve been cheated on, it hurts a lot and it’s very hard to forgive. Those who have experienced cheating on a partner know firsthand how awful it is. The ground falls out from under your feet, the world collapses… You feel cheated, hurt, angry, sad, lost, humiliated. It hurts your self-esteem, it literally kills you. The moment you find out about your partner’s infidelity, you begin to shake, you’re covered with sweat, your stomach falls somewhere down, a nasty nausea rises to your throat.
Your body, your mind, your heart and soul are trampled. Naturally, all this does not go away: your mood, behavior, and attitude change. Not to mention that it is very difficult to trust a cheater again. When women cheat, some of them think that if they get revenge – the pain will recede. They want to make their partner feel what they went through themselves. That’s when affairs on the side begin. A woman pays the price for cheating.
The brutal truth is that cheating doesn’t solve the problem. Communication, confidence, passion and romance in your relationship with your partner is a much better solution.
3. dissatisfaction with physical intimacy.
Women need to feel wanted and experience real pleasure during physical intimacy. If a woman has bad sex, if it happens a little more often than New Year’s Eve, if intimacy lacks an emotional component or occurs in the “bam-bam-thanks-mom” style, she may end up losing interest in the relationship and looking for good intimacy elsewhere! Unsatisfaction in this regard sooner or later leads to the idea that physical and emotional satisfaction is quite easy to get with another person.
In my opinion, it is best to communicate your needs to your man in the hope that he will “play ahead.” A wise and loving partner will always go along. You can do this as a couple or see a sex therapist. There are no unsolvable problems if both partners are open and willing to work on the relationship.
4. change in appearance
After a breast augmentation, buttock implants or radical weight loss, a woman’s confidence in herself increases many times over. Naturally, the male attention is an additional temptation. A woman needs tremendous self-control to refuse an offer that is “impossible to refuse.
Once you realize that other guys want you, there may be a sense of euphoria. It happens, and you need to keep that in mind. But be careful, act wisely, and make a list of the pros and cons of cheating: what you gain and what you lose.
5. Financial Independence.
When you are financially dependent on your husband or boyfriend, you don’t really argue, and even the thought of ending the relationship seems terrifying. The fear of loneliness and financial instability is what holds you back and holds you back.
Now that women are earning their own money, enjoying their jobs and doing well in them, staying in an unhappy relationship makes no sense. This sense of power and independence can be compared to the red carpet that has been laid out for you. And it’s a temptation: “Why not walk it?”
6. Low self-esteem.
When you are unsure of yourself, you seek validation and approval from others. This can be in the form of physical, emotional, or intellectual communication on the side.
When you don’t like or appreciate yourself, you can project this onto the person you are in a relationship with and believe they don’t like or appreciate you either. Even your husband or boyfriend loves you very much, you will still cheat. The thing is, you have a hard time believing and accepting their unconditional love.
I advise you to work on your self-esteem: read special literature or see a psychologist. Believe me, infidelity will not solve your problems, on the contrary, it will only aggravate them.
7. Feeling that you are underestimated
When a woman is in a relationship, she likes to please her man. Cooking a romantic dinner, buying sexy lingerie, gentle words and affectionate touches are just a few ways you can express your love and appreciation to your partner.
But what happens when you don’t hear “Thank you, beloved” and “I love you”?
Holidays and birthdays come and your man forgets about them or gives you something bought in a hurry on the way home from work. You don’t even hear a good word!
Each of us has a limit of patience, and once it is reached, you may decide that you have had enough. And this means that you will start to treat the man the same way he treats you. Let your partner know that he could lose you if he takes everything good for granted.
He no longer uses the cologne you liked so much, his clothes are wrinkled, stained, or bought back in his college days. When a man comes home from work (assuming he has a job), all you can hear from him is: “What’s for dinner?” When the weekend comes around, he says he’s tired and just wants to relax at home or go out with friends to drink beer and watch soccer. And so it goes from month to month, from year to year.
Routine kills passion, kills relationships and love. You’re together and at the same time apart. You have nothing to talk about. You don’t ask each other anything and you don’t share anything. You feel emotionally detached from your partner.
And then this day comes: you begin to seriously think that the courtship of a colleague at work could be accepted, or even begin to fantasize about a love affair on the side. You literally feel the sweetness of kisses on your lips with another. It’s something you haven’t had in ages…
There are many ways to revive a “tired” relationship. Boredom is something that can be overcome: a little effort and your relationship can be saved. The main thing is the desire of both partners.
Why the wife is cheating, but is not in a hurry to leave the family.
Women’s infidelity – a very common phenomenon. In our society it is believed that wives change much less often than husbands. But let’s not forget that men tend to exaggerate their victories, and women – underestimate.
Many women, cheating on their halves, carefully conceal this fact, as absolutely do not intend to divorce and ruin the family. In order to understand why the wife is cheating, but does not leave the family, it is necessary to find out the reasons for this behavior. And only by determining the “root of the problem”, it is possible to proceed to its solution and normalization of family relations.
The main causes of adultery in women
The nature of women’s cheating is quite multifaceted. It is more complex and dramatically different from the male. Here a very minor role played by “instincts”, and the dominant role is the lack of self-realization, attention, dissatisfaction of moral and physical desires. In most cases, the cause of such behavior in women is the husband.
There are a number of reasons why a wife cheats, but does not leave the family
Over time women become frustrated that their husbands do not give them the attention they deserve. The fact is that men are hunters by nature. It is important for him to win the girl, to catch her in his net and to win her favor. But, after marriage, more often than not, there are children. At this point a man begins to look at his wife with different eyes. Often he loses interest in her and stops noticing his wife. The wife has a feeling that she is no longer interested in her husband, and from a once sexy and attractive girl she has become for her husband – just the mother of his child. The woman feels indifference very well. And at this point on the horizon there is another man who finds common topics for conversation, shows interest in her family problems, participant listens to her plans for life. This is the first reason why wives cheat on their husbands – women need the emotional connection with a man.
So why doesn’t she leave? The reason is all the same: children, family, the husband as such. Often it is explained by the phrase, “Well, where am I going to leave him.” And indeed, where to? It is possible that she still loves him, happy to see him, even planning a joint future, but with one nuance – the emotions and attention she still needs, and it does not matter where she gets them.
Problems in the family.
Women, agreeing to marry, assume that their husbands will solve the financial and domestic issues. And in reality, the situation is quite different, leading to constant, prolonged conflict. Don’t blame all the sins on men. If there are problems in the family, both spouses are to blame. But, the spouse is mostly to blame. He becomes the head of the family and must take on many difficult tasks. In real life, it is on women’s shoulders falls the responsibility for solving all household problems. And if a man can not or does not want to cope with their responsibilities, a woman begins to look for his replacement. This is another reason why wives cheat on their husbands.
What is the point of keeping the family together in this case? The cheating wife decides to remain a wife, because she is already used to this model of life, she knows how to “drag everything on herself”, sometimes she even feels sorry for her husband or feels obliged to stay with him, afraid to leave him in a difficult moment in life.
Dissatisfaction with sexual life.
The opinion that sex interests only men is deeply flawed. Intimacy with their partner is just as necessary for women as it is for their other halves. Women after 30 years of age is the period of greatest sexual activity, so on the basis of intimacy every few months strengthens (and often realized) a woman’s desire to cheat on her husband.
The decision to stay with her husband is most often motivated by love and affection. There is a clear internal distinction between family life and sex life. Sometimes, playing around, women begin to deny the fact of infidelity, explaining it by the physical needs that her husband can not meet.
Obsessive thoughts materialize. This applies to any area of human life. For example, if a husband constantly suspects his spouse of cheating without justification, it is likely that she will eventually cheat on him. This will happen because of resentment and hurt dignity. Then you can look for a long time the answer to the question of why his beloved wife cheated, or on the contrary, with embarrassing glee to admit that he was right (“I knew it”). Only maybe the man was involved in cheating on his wife in that case, too?
Women do not cheat “out of spite. But it is possible to encourage her to cheat. Often after cheating for this reason a woman stays in the family because of the basic unwillingness to change something in life. There is a husband, there is a lover – everything suits her. And the fact that her husband is aware of the betrayal – so he wanted to!
Monotony can destroy even the strongest relationships.
At the beginning of the relationship men beautifully take care of their women. They come up with a lot of fun, to surprise the companion, to win her. But after marriage men calm down, and signs of attention become monotonous and predictable. The days flow smoothly into monotonous and boring years. As a result, women begin to think about how to make their lives more interesting. And if there is no initiative from her husband, then why not accept the proposal from an interesting suitor? Reasons to stay in the family in this case, two: love and habit, formed over the years. Such a woman lives the old warm memories and shared family plans for the future. In the present, she “just gets new emotions.
No matter how strong and self-sufficient woman, she subconsciously will expect attention, care and support from men. And if you are romantic and unpredictable, and she will not even think of cheating. Because… why?
How do women interpret cheating?
Many wives cheat on their husbands, but are totally unprepared to divorce them. They simply succumb to a momentary weakness that is a breath of fresh air for them. There are several answers to the question of why a cheating wife does not leave her husband:
- She still loves her spouse.
- There are children in the family or joint property that binds the couple together.
In any case, a man who has learned about the infidelity of his spouse, should first of all calm down, find the reasons for the woman’s infidelity and try to understand why the cheating wife does not leave him. If the reason is love, it makes sense to try to forgive such a spouse. If the reason is only the children or the apartment (joint mortgage, public opinion, material and moral convenience), then there is no point in preserving the marriage.
Why did your beloved wife cheat, if you did everything for her, you can during a frank conversation with your other half. Try not only to listen to what she tells you, but also to understand her words (without lunacy, outright accusations, condemnations and even more so hand-to-hand abuse). Some logical conclusions about the cause of infidelity can be drawn from nonverbal signs. Look at how she behaves, watch her gestures, facial expressions, posture during the conversation. All decisions made about divorce or keeping the family should be carefully considered. After talking with the cheater, take a few days to think about it and distance yourself from her. This behavior will allow both partners to get out of an unpleasant situation with dignity.