Why does a man insult the woman he loves and humiliate her?
From love to hate is known to be one step. At the beginning of the relationship under the influence of love euphoria, men and women do not always notice each other’s faults. They only examine the person they chose as their partner.
Therefore, it is unfair to blame them in the style of “I knew who I chose”, “it was immediately clear”, “why did you start everything in the first place? It’s not always the case that a person reveals himself right away. Maybe he wouldn’t have become what he became if not for the influence of the other person. Or maybe he just disguised himself well.
It is great luck if the beloved immediately showed his true face. You don’t have to indulge in the hope that he will change. You have to chop it up right away. But why do women most often suffer humiliation from a man who seems to love?
Reasons for the insults.
To understand the delicate mental organization of the man next to you, you need to understand the reasons for his behavior:
Self-assertion in this life is important for every man. And in men this need is especially high. Only strong and confident men assert themselves by creating a strong family, their career, and the ability to take responsibility for all their actions. But weak and mentally unstable men, unable to achieve all these things, take it out on the people close to them.
Most often the wives or girls are psychologically abused by the weak man. Competition over who will be the leader in the family can manifest itself at different stages of the relationship. The man in this case has no understanding of what is good and what is bad, and this indicates a violation of the psyche.
Why does a man humiliate his girlfriend?
- Demonstration of power.
When a man has no opportunity to compete in courage and strength with other men, he chooses the path of least resistance. Namely, he takes it out on a woman. Against their backdrop, they think they look powerful, strong leaders. But strong men will never show that power by using insults, ridicule or criticism. Only the opposite actions really show strength.
Men are driven to destructive actions by: low self-esteem, lack of attention, insecurity. And many of them do not understand that a display of brute force does not make them a strong male in the eyes of women.
A weak man has a hard time accepting a woman who is stronger than he is. A woman who has more attention, who has a better financial situation, a stable career. He cannot rise to her level, let alone be superior. And so, the wimp makes the decision not to change himself, but to change the woman, destroying her self-esteem.
Everyone is afraid of losing the person they love. Here, though, there is most likely a fear of being alone. And it is for this reason that a man may begin to humiliate his woman. By beginning to endure insults and all sorts of belittling every day, a woman loses her self-esteem. A man shows by his rudeness that this is exactly the kind of attitude she deserves, that this is the top of what she can expect and that nobody else will love her but him.
- Jealousy and love.
Jealousy in moderation is not an indicator of a lack of love or any insecurity. It is simply a natural fear of losing a loved one. But men who experience unhealthy jealousy are often unable to control it. And for this reason descends to the unfounded reproaches, accusations and all sorts of rudeness. Often occasions arise out of nothing.
- The character of the woman.
Psychological trauma or lack of education is not always the cause of rude male behavior.
The reason for the scandal in the family can be and banal “did not agree in character” and the specific behavior of the woman. If she regularly provokes quarrels and squabbles, then here even the most reserved, kind and patient man can fail and show all his emotions.
- Lack of upbringing.
Everything always comes from the family. And if a man does not have the ability to think with his own head, then he adopts exactly the same model of the family that he had. If a man has seen his father humiliate, insult or even beat his mother all his childhood, he will do the same to his partners if he considers it a norm and does not want to change it.
- A woman’s low self-esteem.
If a woman doesn’t accept herself, doesn’t like herself and humiliates herself in every possible way, then it shouldn’t be surprising that she attracts men who allow the same things to happen to her. If a man is constantly told “I’m not pretty/fat/I have dry hair,” he will start paying more and more attention to it. And eventually he will start to emphasize it.
To get rid of such unpleasant attention, you need to accept your shortcomings, become confident in yourself. And if you can not accept, then work on their correction and thus restore self-esteem.
How not to lose yourself
If you are faced with this kind of attitude in your family, in no case do not blame yourself. Often, a woman in love will try to justify boorish and rude behavior in any way she can. She believes that she provoked this attitude by her own behavior.
This is partly true. But you shouldn’t blame yourself anyway, you just need to start fixing it.
If your lover started insulting and humiliating you, it is because he decided that it is okay to do so, you will put up with it anyway. You gave him the green light yourself, letting a few hurtful words slip past your ears at the time.
And if you take a stand now, you’re not likely to be taken seriously, because you’ve always been patient. And if calm talk does not help, then there is no love. And so you should not devote the rest of your life to the destruction of your beloved.
Here are some tips from psychologists that will help you not to lose your self-esteem, and perhaps to improve the relationship:
- Alcohol is not the answer. It will not relieve resentment or irritation, and will only make things worse;
- Self-development. You can include the banal gym and English language courses in your sphere of interest. But most importantly – find something that makes you better and gives confidence;
- Watch motivational movies, listen to lectures by psychologists, buy a couple of books on self-development. Look for stories of successful women. The brain absorbs such as a sponge, as a result, you will really feel the inner uplift;
- Do not point out your shortcomings to a man. What caught his eye, he already saw;
- Do not lead a man to the scandal and do not enter into conflict with him. If they happen on a regular basis, then go away. A strong and confident woman will always find an equal partner.
People deserve what they deserve. So, urgently improve your self-esteem and self-confidence, start loving and respecting yourself. And then men will treat you accordingly. If you have to break up the current relationship, do not regret it. After all, it’s better to be alone than to live in constant discomfort or fear.
A man hurts a woman. How and why men hurt women
Anyone at least once in his life has experienced resentment for a variety of reasons, someone ignored, used, offended, insulted, ridiculed, rejected, hurt, made to suffer, promised something that was not going to give. But a separate place is occupied by those insults that are caused to the fair sex by men, on purpose, through ignorance or inattention. And the worst thing is that sometimes women themselves try to justify it, and do not clarify the relationship immediately, so that then it was not hurt that for so many years was next to someone who never loved and appreciated truly, but only hurt and demanded.
Why do men hurt women?
To understand what the words or actions of men offend women, it is worth mentioning at once that domestic violence, infidelity, substance abuse, addiction or alcoholism are not among the things that can offend. These are serious problems that affect women, and men too, because normal people would not behave this way and they need to be dealt with. They don’t offend, they break lives. It is a tragedy and a danger, not an insult, when a person said without thinking, or acted rashly, or even did something on purpose that offends another.
To offend can be unintentionally, without thinking about how it will be perceived by the person or on purpose, wanting to hurt, to get what they want. It depends on the nature of the person. If a man is neurotic, a narcissist, a tyrant, he will hurt all the time, insult, destroy his self-esteem, because he cannot love himself or anyone else, even if he thinks or says he does, he does not. He may not be aware that he offends, thinking that he has the right to say, act and do so, and in general it is unclear why everyone is offended at him, because he is not doing anything wrong. His self-confidence won’t make him feel guilty, even if he does try to understand why he behaves so horribly with those around him.
He really sincerely does not understand why he is being offended, he does not realize that there is darkness inside him, and so he is only able to spout it out, and if he does something good, he is sure to ruin it. No matter how hard a woman tries, she will never hear an apology from a narcissist, because this type of man is always right, he is the best, the best.
But women themselves sometimes perceive the behavior of men too painfully, even when there was nothing offensive in their actions or words. Women-neurotic often suffer from a contrived offense. They see in the man’s words what was not there, attribute it to what he did not intend to do, consider their attitude towards what is happening the only true. And all this is because they have too low self-esteem, they are not confident in themselves, they do not understand deep down, why men are around them in the first place, they wait that he will leave them, they are always in a state of anxiety, and therefore they take offense, perceiving his actions not as they are in reality, thinking that he did it on purpose, to hurt her. Although the man himself did what he thought was right for himself and had absolutely no intention of hurting her or humiliating her in any way.
A striking example that sometimes women themselves are offended and look for a reason to be offended, is when he did not notice her new hairstyle or dress. And he did it because he was tired, thoughtful, not good at saying compliments, restrained by nature, but the fairer sex can be offended, thinking that he is indifferent to her, he has someone else, he does not care, or he did not like it, but he should have.
It is often these kinds of misunderstandings that cause women to think that a man offends them, although this is not the case. And to solve this problem you can only themselves, because it lies not in the behavior of their chosen one, and in themselves, in their resentment, insecurity, low self-esteem, anxieties and fears, but to this man is certainly not involved. But of course, do not take all the offense to be made up or explain that you misunderstood him, men often do not behave badly and hurt.
- Women are hurt by their taunts, reproaches, inattention, busyness, when you can do without it, especially when she knows that workaholism is dangerous to health. And instead of accomplishments, you can ruin your health.
- She doesn’t like it when he doesn’t listen to her. And it doesn’t matter that he isn’t physiologically capable of perceiving her complaints and the flow of words with which the fair sex experiences her emotions.
- The indifference of the man she loves is unpleasant. And there is nothing surprising in this, because when a man is tired, it is understandable why he is a little not up to others, even to the very loved ones, his nervous system requires rest. But when he does not care that she is worried, suffering, she needs help, she asks to spend time with her, not with friends or the TV, then it shows that he just does not care about her and does not appreciate her as a person. Insult by insult, but in this situation, the woman herself should talk to him about it or continue to silently tolerate such a disregard for herself, if she thinks she is unworthy to be around a man who will appreciate and pay attention to her, and not ignore and use for his own convenience.
- Insecure girls are often offended when men pay too much attention to other women. It seems to them that he compares them, even if it is often subconsciously, or maybe not, but resentment is caused by the fact that girls feel in such a moment worse than others. It does not even occur to them to treat such a situation, that the comparison will be in her favor anyway. Of course, no one cancelled womanizers, cheaters, who themselves are neurotic and do not know how to love, no matter what anyone does for them, but it is a matter of choice, whether a man who looks frankly at others or not suits her. But to feel worse than others, then it would be better to work on her self-esteem and make sure that for the woman herself all these comparisons were only an excuse to increase her own self-esteem, so that she would remain confident that she is not worse than others, and maybe even better, he is with her, not with them.
- Women are offended by the inattention of the opposite sex, their forgetfulness about important dates, holidays. They do not care that men can not remember the date from the day they met, true, not all, someone remembers it, but these are not so much. And they forget, not because they don’t care, it’s just that their head is occupied with a host of other things. There’s no malice in it. And if he is indifferent, it will be clear even without the fact that he forgot the date of acquaintance or meeting.
- Doesn’t like the fair sex, and when a man disappears for a while, doesn’t call and ask how she’s doing. He doesn’t call if he promised. And this really shows that he is not really interested in the girl. Someone who is in love, someone who needs her, won’t forget to call, and not because he promised and it’s rude to break your promises, but because he wants to hear her voice, to ask what she’s doing. After all, a man in love thinks of his beloved, he cannot be away from her for long.
- No less resentment, and sometimes irritation and anger, causes a man’s desire all the time to lie on the couch or play computer games after work, if he is not working and not going to look for a source of income, by which he can live. These believe that they have the right to live on what the woman earns. Insult from such behavior is then replaced by rage and can turn into hatred, when the fair sex woman will realize that all this time she believed empty promises and “breakfasts” that a man should earn more than his wife, especially when there are children.
Love yourself, don’t let yourself be hurt, appreciate, protect, and remember your own interests and desires. No one but you can take care of you as much as you can take care of yourself. So you feel that hurt and hurt, find out why it happened, if he realizes his mistake and will no longer behave that way, everything is fine, but if it hurts again, constantly finding excuses for it, then you have to either accept it for what it is, or break up. Change it is impossible, he can do it only himself, and tolerate – a waste of time and mockery to himself.
If it’s about you and your excessive sensitivity, then it’s time to deal with your internal problems, if you do not want to be unhappy and constantly offended by things that do not matter.
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