Why a married man calls: we understand thoroughly

Man shows signs of attention, but he is not alone – what to do?

Not free man – it’s forbidden fruit. Such men are usually well-groomed, successful, they know what they want.

They are interesting, giving new emotions, raising the self-esteem of the mistress. After all, it is very nice to realize that the wife has been relegated to the background.

But is it really so? The prospects are not always bright.

The benefits of a relationship with a man who is not free

Of course, things don’t always go according to a bad scenario. There are always exceptions. If you have a relationship with a married man, this relationship can be beneficial in the following cases:

  • You need to solve your financial problems, and your lover doesn’t mind helping you out;
  • You are focused on your career and not very interested in starting a family at this stage, but you want to spend time in the company of a man;
  • If you yourself are in a marriage, but it is bursting at the seams and you are not ready to leave your husband completely;
  • You were already married and do not seek to make a new commitment;
  • You need from a man only physical intimacy.

In the above situations, having a relationship with a man who is single is not a terrible thing. Your lover may indeed give you a sense of happiness, but if you look toward starting a family, don’t expect him to leave his wife. A small percentage of men are capable of that. They usually don’t want to swap the bump for the bump.

But if a man is really in love with you, he won’t be stopped by children, morals or even a pregnant wife. He has to have the guts to break things off for you, not some “we’re getting divorced/not sleeping together/not talking to you” noodle.

Some tips for strengthening the bond

If you’ve entered into a relationship like this and you want to keep it, here are the things you need to remember:

  • Your bond holds on to physical intimacy. That’s why the phrases “not tonight,” “headache” are taboo;
  • With you, he is looking for what he lacks in his family. He must be comfortable around you. Give your man care, affection, tenderness, and he will stay with you for a long time;
  • You should always remain attractive. After all, your main task – to cause his desire and attraction. Do not show up with curlers on your head, forget about the old robes. Come to the meeting as to the event: with makeup, hair, in nice clothes;
  • Don’t stress him out with your problems. If he wants help, he will offer it himself;
  • Keep a mutual understanding between you. Take an interest in everything related to him. Listen carefully when he talks or complains about anything. Let him know that he has your full attention;
  • Let your character be easy, positive, sweet and fun. Don’t try to change him, don’t criticize him, and don’t start any divorce conversations;
  • Be a mystery. Don’t reveal yourself completely. Don’t complain, don’t talk about your shortcomings or failures. A man doesn’t have to know everything about you.

How to behave with a married man?

What to do with the influx of feelings

Sometimes such a connection can develop into something more than just fun. Namely in the emergence of your psychological attachment.

If you have no desire to spend your best years being in the shadows and in the second role, it is better to give up the vicious connection right away.

A man will not leave his comfortable place, where a hot dinner and clean socks are always waiting for him. All psychologists advise you not to indulge in false hopes, but to accept reality:

  • A suitor can show you that he likes you a lot. But in the first place will still be the family, friends and hobbies;
  • No matter how much he swears he hasn’t shared a bed with his wife in a long time, don’t believe it. He does. Maybe not as regularly and passionately, but the fact remains;
  • All the initiative in terms of timing is entirely up to the man. All you have to do is wait patiently, without planning anything.

Perhaps you are not even alone. Then, after you tell him your grievances, he will just leave. You shouldn’t wait for that. The stronger your feelings get, the harder the breakup will be.

How to Break Up a Man Who Isn’t Single

To capture the heart of a married man is very easy. But to maintain the image of an eternally beautiful and all-agreeable beloved each time more and more difficult. In life together there is a routine and everyday life. They take the place of love experiences. Therefore, if a man has a family, the role of a mistress will lead to nothing. And for all the holidays you will be alone.

If your feelings have already passed the “point of no return,” you need to pull yourself together and act decisively. Because there is no “delete” button for emotions, you have to try.

  • Demonstrate honesty.

Don’t make up any false reasons for breaking up. There is one and it’s obvious;

  • Make a firm decision.

It’s better to say goodbye right now to all expectations and hopes that aren’t destined to come true;

  • Stop all contact.

Psychologically it will be easier to recover if you start to ignore your lover completely.

A good exercise would be to analyze the pros and cons of your secret connection. And, believe me, there will be more minuses.

How to get rid of an unattached man

But, if there is no connection between you and you do not like this situation in advance, you can follow this algorithm:

  • Invent yourself a lover.

Sometimes impregnability and coldness can only fuel the interest of a married man. In that case, even if you do not have anyone on the horizon, you can invent an affair. Tell your colleagues about it (if you work together), show some photos. You can even ask a close friend to play along. Ideally, arrange to see your “beau” meet you after work in love;

  • Keep your distance.

Behave politely and tactfully, but coolly. Don’t allow bodily contact and interrupt eye contact. Don’t let yourself be helped. Communicate as little as possible at work or in general company. And after hours, don’t let him in at all;

  • Have an affair in front of him.

If you don’t want to make up a relationship, have a real one. Or make an attempt. Flirt and talk to someone else, and let the frustrated beau see it.

  • Don’t share his feelings.

In a situation where the unsuccessful man has already confessed his feelings, make it clear sharply and clearly that there are no options for you to be together. If he continues to insist, threaten to quit your job, leave the company, or tell everyone everything. Whatever it takes to make him understand that there’s no way he’s going to let you give in to him.

Situations are different. The pluses of having a married man interested in you are less than the minuses. The most important thing in such a relationship is that everything and everyone is happy, but that is rarely the case.

So, the choice is always entirely up to you. If you want a thrill, and you’re sure you won’t drown, then go ahead. But if you have any doubts, it’s better to cut it off right away. That way you avoid additional suffering.

A call from the past: why do exes call and how to behave with them?

After parting, people go in different directions and begin to live their lives. The pain and longing for the once loved one gradually passes, the taste for life returns and there is a meeting with a new love. An unexpected turn in the storyline may be a call from a forgotten phone number and the familiar voice of a former lover. In this situation, you’ll wonder why the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend suddenly decided to call a few months or even a few years later. Fortunately, psychologists have not only an explanation of why ex-lovers call, but also useful tips that will help you not to make a mistake when communicating with them.

Why Ex-Lovers Call

Exes, with whom there has been nothing in common for a long time, call with the sole purpose – to remind about themselves. And here are several reasons why ex-lovers want to be remembered months and years later.

Reason #1: insecurity in the decision.

The representatives of the stronger sex, for the most part, are the owners of an analytical mind. If a man made a certain choice, in the future he will periodically reflect on its correctness, whether it was a decision to get married or to part with the woman. Unexpected calls from the ex may mean that he has problems with the woman with whom he is currently in a relationship. Perhaps the man wants to make sure he is making the right choice and evaluate who he is better off with.

Usually it is more common for girls to compare their ex-partner and their current partner.

Reason #2: The desire to make sure that the woman remembers him

Very often after a breakup, especially if the initiator of the breakup was a man, he retains a sense of ownership over the woman. Because of this, even months later, the former lover makes himself known, to make sure that the girl still thinks about him. And what helps to make sure of this is a woman’s reaction to a sudden phone call. And the reaction can be not only positive but also negative. If a girl still loves or hates the man, it means that she still belongs to him.

According to astrologists, Sagittarians, Crab and Pisces suffer from this habit more often.

Reason № 3: the success of the former lover

If a woman is happy, she attracts men to her, including former lovers. After the breakup, the girl may suffer for a long time and not live a full life. Of course, during this time, no one remembers her. Gradually, the woman gets better, she enjoys life, is engaged in her favorite hobbies and begins to go on dates. The former lover, seeing the success of the woman, begins to be interested in her again and makes attempts to resume communication.

Happy women are attractive to men.

Reason #4: The need for support

If a man and a woman have had a long relationship, they have already managed to become kindred people. Before parting, the partners always inspire each other, support each other, give advice and comfort in difficult situations. Even if the lovers are no longer together, at difficult times in life they may have a natural impulse to talk to the person who has always understood and found the right words.

Constantly supporting the ex, you can imperceptibly earn a sense of guilt to him, so overdo it with a heart-to-heart talk is not necessary.

Reason #5: Desire to resume the relationship

Some time after a breakup, one of the partners may realize that they will never have a better loved one again. Often it is embarrassing to meet in person, so a phone call is the only way to try to resurrect a former love. After talking on the phone, a person will be able to understand if the former partner still has feelings, or if they should start a new life.

The same Sagittarius can return several times, but usually nothing good comes out of it.

Reason No. 6: woken conscience

Sometimes partners genuinely worry about the fate of their lovers they have abandoned and worry about their well-being. It doesn’t happen very often, but there are people who call their exes to make sure they are well and not having suicidal thoughts.

Worries about a once loved one will immediately subside when one of the partners finds new love

How to behave if an ex-partner calls

If the breakup was difficult and painful, and communication with your former lover causes unpleasant emotions, in no case should not give that person reason to doubt your feelings. If you have already forgotten about your ex-boyfriend and let him go, do not ask yourself why he calls and what he needs. Any doubt, indecision or ambiguity will be seen as a call to action, and this will take you back to the unpleasant past. Even if an ex-partner is unpleasant to you, you shouldn’t communicate with him rudely. Always remember that happy people don’t call their exes. Most likely, the person feels bad, so you should not become the cause of his depression. It’s better to say, “I have a partner I love. You shouldn’t call me because it won’t get you anywhere.”

It’s not uncommon for partners to fail to find new love after a breakup and feel that all is not yet said between them. In this case, it is worth taking advantage of the moment, because a call can serve as the first step towards reconciliation and the resumption of a romance that may well last a lifetime. It is important to weigh the pros and cons of such an important decision.

Give yourself some time to reflect on the situation before you rush into a cycle of new/old love. After all, a little paranoia and healthy cynicism won’t do any harm, but they can probably save you from unnecessary pain.

Svetlana Huchua, psychologist

Video: Psychologist on the causes of calls ex-partner

Whatever the reasons for calling your ex-partner, it is not always worthwhile to look into them and try to understand why the ex-lover got in touch. If the rupture of the relationship was painful and beloved at one time brought a lot of suffering, do not give him a second chance. Better to think that maybe you should ignore the call from the past and thereby open the door to a brighter future.

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