When a man wants

How to know if a man wants you: clear signs of desire

Professional journalist, author of a poetry collection and several literary publications.

The expert – Victoria Fomina.

Highest-category sexologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples resolve problems in sexuality.

Of course, the days of ancient men are long gone, but the desire to master and be an alpha male with men will remain forever. No matter who he is an office worker or a holder of a working profession, the sexual attraction will be expressed in exactly the same way. How do you know if a man wants a woman? Where is the line between “nice, but no more” and “oh yes! I would have her on fire.”

How do you know a man wants a woman? ♪ Appearances don’t deceive ♪

The face is the mirror of the soul. It really is. Mimicry can convey almost everything. But, in order to determine the attraction, the mere physiognomy will not be enough. Sexual excitement is transmitted to everything and is reflected in its outward appearance. How to understand that a man wants a woman? Features in the appearance will prompt.

Promising eyes.

How to know that a man wants you? Look into his eyes! Playful, mocking gaze of the opposite sex is familiar to almost everyone. He looks at a new colleague, like a cat on the slippers of the owner, with undisguised interest. He studies, observes, sometimes provokes. But if his eyes suddenly become languid, his eyes moisten, or even say become “oily”, then this is a sure signal that he considers his companion as an object for sex.

You can also pay attention to the pupils, but in practice no one has ever met the cat from Shrek. Therefore, if he has normal-sized pupils, it does not mean that he does not care. And blurred so that you can’t see the irises is not an indicator of animal lust at all. Maybe he’s an addict or taking antihistamines.

Intoxicating voice.

In the animal world, during the mating season, nature is filled with sounds; everything sings, squawks, and moans invitingly, attracting their own kind to copulate. Man is no exception, and in this case a change in the timbre of the voice is a clear signal of excitement. If during the conversation suddenly, all of a sudden, the tone of the conversation partner changes, so that speech becomes velvety, soothing and intimate, then one can say with absolute certainty, he is excited.

Exciting touch.

The strong half of mankind are children at heart, what they like, they look, what they want, they touch. Basically, nothing changes with age, if a guy sees a girl as a sexual partner, they tend to touch her on and off occasion.

At first, everything is within the bounds of propriety, if the beauty does not mind, then heavier artillery comes into play: hugs, flirtatious stroking, touching near the intimate places. Naturally, not on purpose. So, having felt the excessive physical attention, it is worth either rejecting or accepting flirting. Doing the “I’m in the lodge” act will be seen as a guide to further action.

How do you know a man wants a woman? The nose as an indicator

It is a scientifically proven fact that if a man touches his nose repeatedly during a conversation, he is aroused. Studies have shown that the nerve endings in the olfactory organ are related to those responsible for an erection. Of course, the pattern doesn’t work if the young man has a cold or allergies.

Behavior will tell you.

When excitement arises, it is difficult for males to restrain their impulse, especially if the passion is mutual. His behavior towards the desired object changes, they are so eloquent, and it will be difficult to confuse them with anything.

The center of the ego

A man unconsciously tries to draw attention to his manhood. An obvious sexual sign is his hands in his pant pockets and his thumbs sticking out. Some rubbing, adjusting the belt of pants, if he twists the car keys on his finger at waist level is also an unequivocal appeal.


He seeks to shield his target from everything and everyone. This can be expressed in different ways, for example at a business lunch, pick a table away from people’s eyes. In the office, it may look as follows, a colleague sits so that the girl becomes isolated from everyone, or during a conversation as if to “cover” his companion from others hand or body. In general, he tries to make it so that there are more opportunities to be alone, and the chances of the beautiful girl to escape are minimized.

Approach from behind

The ancestors of men were hunters, and following their prey and then making a sharp throw at the victim gave them considerable pleasure. Since ancient times, little has changed. The woman is also perceived as a kind of prey, which, as before, should be pounced upon from behind. In the modern world, of course, everything is somewhat different, but the essence and acuteness of the moment is not lost.

So, if a colleague or acquaintance approaches from behind and starts explaining something at ear level, this is a direct indicator of an intimate interest. He would have mastered here and now, but, alas, times are not the same. And there are a lot of people in the office. Another sign is to scare the girl from behind and to embrace her almost naturally.

In general, everything associated with the position “from behind” excites the stronger sex, and if he always does different things from behind, it says something. This is not to be confused with the furious boss, who immediately scolds his subordinate, standing with his back to him. In this case it does not even smell like sex.

How do you know that a man wants a woman? Open conversations.

If your friend suddenly starts talking on sensitive topics, which was not observed before, then this too can be regarded as a manifestation of attraction. Usually, in conversations on topics 18+, a man cares about the opinion of his sympathizer, and therefore will ask leading questions and focus on her answers, while ignoring the others around him.

This can be an abstract philosophical discussion about love and relationships or quite frank questions about sexual preferences. Each decides for herself how much to open up in such a dialogue. But if a girl is interested in developing a relationship, do not reveal all the cards and spill everything at face value. The mystery and mystery excites much more than empty talk, even candid.

Observing the young man you like, you should remember that in the first place he is a hunter, and then Peter Mikhailovich, an engineer and so on. And what does the hunter need? Prey. And the harder to catch it in his net, the more exciting the chase will be, and the stronger will be the need to get the trophy, by all means.

How do you know if a guy is horny if a man says he wants you as a woman?

If a man wants a woman, the signs of his sympathy will be pronounced. There are individuals who are hesitant, afraid of active direct actions, words.

In this case, the chosen one does not always understand whether the guy’s attitude is a manifestation of friendly feelings, human participation or have another nature.

How to understand that a man wants you: signs of sexual interest

Female-male friendship occurs, but has the character of exceptions. This stage often begins a love affair or serves as a finale, if the partners have managed to part without resentment, mutual claims.

In 99% of cases, the increased attention, desire to help the girl, and patronize her, is due to the hope to win her favor.

The Look

An experienced lady can understand what she wants from her eyes. The nature of the look will be a reflection of the internal outlook.

Determined in their actions, men with leadership inclinations, look intently, and do not hesitate to counter-react. Often observe the object of sympathy. Unexpectedly turning his head in his direction, turning the side-eye, the lady notices that she is constantly “under the gun.

Shy, hesitant guys avoid direct eye contact, they do not stand long “staring”. The girl is kept in the field of view, but sporadically.

To check whether she is being “covertly” observed, the woman may start to imitate an attack of active yawning. In this case, a reflex kicks in, and the one who does not let her out of his sight will also begin to yawn or make active attempts to suppress the desire to do so.

Young people in love are characterized by ingratiating looks that express the expectation of approval, praise.

Touching and breathing

Stanislavski accurately described the manifestation of love with the phrase “the desire to touch”. Tactile contact is the most important sign. A suitor who is not indifferent to a woman, seeks to touch her: to hug her shoulders, to correct her hair, to take her hand.

In a business relationship, the intimacy of the gesture can be felt when handing objects to each other. Passing papers, a pen, he will take the chance to make the fingers touch a little longer than it is necessary for business.

He will try to be close to the pretty lady, sit next to her, enter her personal space. A distance of less than half a meter is considered love, he will encroach on it.

During a dance or other situation involving the proximity of bodies, a guy’s breathing rhythm may change. It will become less deep, irrhythmic, interspersed with deep sighs.

Gestures and voice, innuendo

The voice of a gentleman conversing with a lady she likes changes its timbre.

It becomes lower, more velvety, and sounds quieter than usual. When talking on the phone, the interested party will find insignificant reasons to call. They usually do not like long conversations, with the subject of increased sympathy, the rule does not work. The conversation drags on.

Jokes acquire a “double bottom,” sound like a probing of the boundaries of the permissible. Gestures give away nervousness: beating rhythm with fingers on the table, playing with a lighter, watches, will tell that the suitor feels insecure and fine motor skills trying to occupy the hands, not knowing where to put them.

Subconsciously the stronger sex on a date with a girl who is cute to them demonstrates the “dignity of a male.” To attract attention to an interesting area, they sit with their legs wide apart, put their hands in the front pockets of jeans, pants, put their fingers behind the belt, etc.

Clear signs

A clear sign of desire is the availability of the admirer day and night. He will answer the phone at any time or call back at the first available minute, ready to put things aside to solve women’s problems.

He puts his car at her disposal (to take her somewhere, pick her up from guests), finances (to pay for urgent computer repairs, shots for her beloved cat), connections (to get a job, make an appointment with a good doctor).

Of course, many opportunities are limited by social status. Depend on whether the guy is in a relationship or free. In any case, he is interested in the girl’s life, knows her tastes, habits or tries to learn them, is attentive to small things.

Changes in appearance

The young man in love begins to follow the appearance more carefully . He has new things in his closet, he may change his style. The guy does not allow himself to be seen by the object of affection unshaven, with dirty shoes, more often visits the barber.

Counting on sex, actively putting his body in order, for example, goes on a diet or begins to exercise regularly. Buys himself a perfume with a new scent.

Change in her presence manner of communication, trying to show himself from an attractive side. She is in a high spirits, in a complacent state.

Manifestation of physiology: the signs of excitement in men

It is not difficult to recognize bodily signals that indicate that a young man is in the stage of excitement.

He has:

  1. The secretion of saliva increases, he begins to swallow more often, regularly sips from a cup of water or a drink, trying to camouflage the signal.
  2. Heartbeat increases. While holding hands, it is worth putting a finger on the wrist where the pulse can be felt. The truth will come out.
  3. Your palms may sweat.
  4. Tense muscles.
  5. Goose bumps appear.
  6. The pupils increase in diameter, and the eyes become veiled.
  7. Reactions to extraneous stimuli become a little sluggish.

Read more ► How to determine that a woman wants a man: signs, what she feels if she wants sex

The main symbol of arousal is an erection. Of course, it is not decent to look closely at the codpiece area, but a fleeting glance is enough to notice the “elevated” mood, especially in tight pants.

His lips and your lips.

Touching his face and lips betrays a pronounced sexual interest . Not daring to kiss, the young man may take advantage of the situation and remove some crumb, real or made up, a strand of hair during dinner together.

Licking the lips, nibbling is a sign of readiness for a kiss. Dreaming about it, the guy starts touching his mouth. Combined with dilated nostrils, raising the eyebrow, rubbing the throat, the behavior is interpreted as an erotic signal.

What else indicates that a man wants you

When he is near you, he opens his arms, imitating an open embrace. For example, one leaning against a wall, the other actively gesticulating. Intimate intentions will be given out by the pose in which he is standing: legs shoulder-width apart, pelvis slightly forward, back straight.

This indicates desire:

  • Deliberate grooming (fixing his tie, running his hand through his hair);
  • The unbuttoning of the top buttons of a shirt;
  • Touching one’s own face and ears.

Regular compliments, gallant courtship, sudden gifts, words about attractiveness are clear symptoms of interest.

Men are jealous of the intrusion of outsiders into their “territory,” referring to the concept of personal belongings, space, time, and girls they like. Being near their beloved, they are eager to emphasize their rights in every possible way, even without having any. A guy will suppress the advances of competitors, seeing them as a potential threat, offering his coat to the lady, holding her hand.

What to do and how to behave if a guy wants you

With mutual sympathy, it is worth maintaining interest by actively encouraging communication, showing affinity, accepting help and gifts.

A pleasant phase of flirting is necessary to build a harmonious relationship in the future. Do not try to end it soon and move to a closer contact too quickly.

Let him get the opportunity to show his best qualities, to win the woman. An object falling into his hands loses half of its initial value. Every man needs a chance to be a knight. Do not manipulate the lover, achieving selfish ends, to please his ego.

If interest is one-sided, it is better to root out any attempts to flirt, to refuse to date, ambiguous situations.

It is desirable to carefully analyze your behavior next to a lover. With active harassment can be frankly, but delicately express the lack of interest in words. Tone, phrases in this case should not imply double-speak. And certainly do not have to give in just to get him to back off.

What a man feels when he wants a woman, but does not get

The range is wide – from burning hatred to obsessive desire to turn the situation in his favor, to make an arrangement. Rejection is not pleasant, it beats on the ego, undermines self-esteem.

At this point, the true face of the male representative opens in all its glory. One will try to make an effort to win his beloved, the other will begin to persistently pursue, the third will spread the bad news.

In most situations, guys do make a few more attempts to rapprochement. If they also end in a fiasco, they switch to another object. Active long-term courtship is rare, as is an outright hostile reaction.

Man truly falls in love with a woman only after sex, is it true: the opinion of a psychologist

In building a long-term relationship, there are several stages, which can overlap in time or replace each other.

The lady must play the roles:

  1. A queen, favorably accepting advances. In doing so, she lives a full life, filled with her own affairs, friends, and appointments, rather than the lingering wait for calls.
  2. Girls. Easy on the rise, a sweet fairy who admires his chosen one and his ideas.
  3. A friend. The person who can share a conversation, with whom you can consult, share the news of the day, problems, or plans to take over the universe.
  4. A hostess. A careful, reliable woman, able to take care of the sick, make soup, put things in order, plan the budget.
  5. Mistress. A woman who can give pleasure and take it.

According to psychologists, only after sex does a man truly perceive a woman as his own. But if you skip the stages of courtship, enthusiasm, getting to know each other, there is no real intimacy between people, there is only bare physiology.

After a short time the bedding interest is lost and there is nothing to take its place. The worst thing a lady can do is quickly let an admirer into the bedroom. Only if she wants nothing more than intimacy.


The above are the most common signs and signals given by representatives of the stronger half of mankind. Each case requires an individual approach.

It is impossible to calculate a man’s thoughts, to interpret his behavior absolutely correctly. The psychology of personalities has differences. For one to throw at the feet of a woman half the world is not worth it, the other adjusts to say hello in the entrance hall. In this case, it helps to understand the truth not only the mind, but also the heart.

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