What to do if a guy says that he has fallen out of love – psychologist’s advice
Unfortunately, it is rare to find a perfect relationship. Even the strongest feelings have periods of ups and downs. Sometimes the first to stop loving is a man, sometimes a woman. Let’s look at the situation when a guy has fallen out of love, by what signs you can understand it, and what to do.
How to know if a guy has fallen out of love
Let’s take a look at what signs you can tell if a guy has fallen out of love:
- He completely avoids talking to you. He’s not interested in how your day went, who you hung out with, where you’ve been, how you’re feeling.
- He is annoyed by everything: your behavior, what you do for him, what you say. And irritation causes not only flaws, but also advantages.
- He stops to show love, tenderness, because it is not there. Sex becomes less and less frequent.
- He stops being jealous, he’s not interested in who you were hanging out with, where you went at a late hour in a miniskirt, when you plan to come back.
- He pays more attention to his appearance, takes care of himself. This already shows not only that he has fallen out of love, but he is interested in another woman.
- Often shows rudeness, snapping, shows negative emotions.
- Does not consider your opinion, shows his superiority.
- He doesn’t respond to your requests and words. You get the impression that when you are together he immediately spoils the mood.
- He may make exaggerated demands, unreasonable claims. It is impossible to please him. The impression is that he does not know what else to pick on.
- He is not trying to impress you, to make you laugh or win you over, to make you smile. He is not affected by your laughter or your tears. He is indifferent.
What are the possible outcomes if the guy fell out of love?
Realizing that you’ve fallen out of love – not an easy blow for the girl. But now you need to decide how to proceed. There are the following options for the course of events:
- Pretend that nothing happened. Of course, this is not a constructive way out of the situation, but it often occurs in life, sometimes lasting for years. Women tolerate undignified behavior. This development is most often inclined to girls who are in a free relationship or living on account.
- Breaking up a relationship. According to psychologists, this is the best scenario. If the guy has fallen out of love, then there is no relationship. There is no reason to torment yourself and torment him. Calm down, take care of yourself and free yourself to be happy with another man.
Your man says that feelings are gone.
- Save the relationship. It is not uncommon for girls to find it difficult to accept such a development. They persistently try to get the relationship back. It happens that with the right actions they succeed. Sometimes it is enough to change yourself, and the man goes to the meeting.
What to do if you have made a decision to save the relationship
If you are sure that you have enough strength to save the relationship, your task is to carefully figure out what led to this development. Don’t throw tantrums, don’t threaten, don’t blackmail. Be positive, improve your own self-esteem. Psychologists give the following recommendations for women who want to restore relationships:
If a man has fallen out of love with you, don’t try to persuade him, don’t pester him with explanations. You don’t need to tell him that you are a beautiful couple and that you need to be together. Do not show unnecessary emotions. If the guy is distant, leave him alone. The most sensible solution is to remove yourself to the same distance as he did.
- Start thinking about yourself.
If you used to focus on the man, your relationship, then shift the focus to yourself. Think about what you want, not as a girlfriend or wife, but as a person. Sit in a comfortable environment, reflect on what activities lift your spirits.
- Choose an activity that interests you
Once you’ve pored over your interests, pick a few things you want to do more of. Take a class, go to an exhibition or attend a seminar. Find something that you are really passionate about. This will help you forget the unpleasant situation, and not pretend that you forgot, really at heart worry about what happened.
Start dancing. This will not only help you develop your plasticity, but also increase your self-esteem. Plus, you’ll learn how to dance beautifully. Think about traveling. It will refresh your interest in life and help you rethink your views on relationships. Don’t begrudge your man a trip. The more he realizes that your life is beautiful without him, the more he will show persistence in getting closer.
Find yourself a new space to live in where you learn to get positive emotions without a guy. This will allow you to avoid depression, remove yourself from emotional dependence on the man.
Change your hair, go to the beauty salon, take a course of grooming procedures, manicure. Look dignified and excellent. Change the style of dress, pick up new clothes, and not only “going out”, but also for home. So you will increase awareness of his attractiveness, which raises self-esteem.
- Focus on the inner world
Don’t just focus on your looks. Become more aware of your inner world. Take up studying foreign languages, go to a consultation with a psychologist to improve self-esteem. Do not sit still. Get busy reading books, not necessarily on psychological topics. Choose something that interests you.
- Wait for his actions.
Once you have changed your usual behavior, began to live an interesting life, not run after a man, now all you have to do is wait. Distance to the distance to which he is distancing himself, and get closer as well, not one step ahead of him.
If he calls, pick up the phone, he asked you out on a date – say yes. At the same time, say that you do not have much time. You have to run to a dance, a consultation, a workout. Don’t put meetings with him before your business. If the man plans to keep the relationship and you don’t take the initiative, he will.
If he does not take the initiative, it means he has decided to end the relationship between you. Then you shouldn’t run after him, let him go. In your life there will be a man worthy of you, who will call on a date, next to whom you will feel happy.
- What to do if you decide not to keep the relationship
If you’ve made the decision not to keep the relationship, the following tips can help you:
- Limit your meetings with him.
- Don’t shut yourself away, be surrounded by family and friends. They will help you through the breakup.
- No matter how much you may want to call or text the man, don’t do it. If you have such thoughts, switch to something that interests you.
- Let the situation go. Forgive the guy, don’t hold a grudge. Respect his right.
- You don’t need to take revenge and throw yourself on the neck of the first guy you see. This will not lead to a strong relationship. You’ll go from one pathological relationship to another, which can lead to depression.
If a man has fallen out of love with you, then analyze the situation, understand why this happened. If there is a chance to restore the relationship, take it, but if not, you should not humiliate yourself by being around a man who doesn’t care about you. So you only torment yourself and him.
When a man says that he does not love – consider point by point
If a man says he does not love, is it true? Psychology tells us an ambiguous answer to this question: “Not always!” Yes, we’re all used to men being inherently easier. They are more straightforward. If a man has fallen out of love, he is straightforward about it, and conversely, if he loves, he will move mountains to live near his beloved woman. But, what if “there are inaccuracies in the system”? What if not all men think, act and act alike? There are those who are straightforward, and then there are those who love to intrigue and manipulate their partner. Such a man will certainly never be honest with his lady 100 percent.
As a conclusion, we can say this: a man can say that he fell out of love, but it is possible that he is lying and his behavior is pursuing a completely different goal. For example:
– To scare you (the prospect of living alone scares any woman);
– to get back at you for something;
– he himself resents you and such behavior as if he is striking back;
– Wants to push you to take decisive action and change.
So if you heard from his beloved scary phrase: “I do not love you anymore!”, do not panic. As we have said, the motives for his behavior may be very different. But even if he really believes what he says, and fell out of love with you, everything can be fixed.
You can not only return his favor, but also ignite him with a new force of emotion, which previously was not. All you need for this is faith in yourself and willpower. Here are the two main factors that will allow you to achieve everything in life, including the love of your man.
How to make him fall in love with you again?
Your strategy of behavior, let’s divide conventionally into two stages:
What should be done in the preparatory period? Prepare yourself and your man for a new stage of your relationship.
When he told you that he did not love you, the first thing you experienced was a shock. The second – negative emotions. And the negative experience is not only you, but he, too. For the man the rupture of a relationship with the woman he loved – it is an indicator that he had not coped with something. In something gone wrong. And his male ego, in this situation, also suffers, you can be sure. But, back to your actions. In order to get a chance later to get your loved one back, you need to behave correctly at the most critical moment. The moment he says he doesn’t love you.
Before you continue reading, we suggest you watch the following video:
Meet the blow calmly, tell him you can handle the situation, even though you still love him and care about him. Don’t cling to the man and don’t get hysterical. Do not threaten your loved one that you will ruin his life if he decides to leave. On the contrary, give him freedom of action. The more freedom you give him, the more likely that the man will want to go back to you. Next, give each other the opportunity to rest. If necessary, the loved one can move out for a while or you’ll think of another way to limit communication. Time and distance is needed now for both of you. This is necessary in order to reduce the degree of tension between you and, of course, to miss each other. So if he wants to move out – do not prevent him. You will have a lot of free time that you will be able to spend usefully.
Work on yourself. To get your favorite man back, you will have to establish a normal warm relationship with him. This will be possible if you get rid of the resentment and desire to get back at him for what he did. You just need to eradicate the offense in the soul, otherwise you will always throw it on a man, and unconsciously.
To get rid of the offense, you have to realize that in your situation there are no winners or losers. Affected both, it hurts and unpleasant to both of you. Just at this stage of your relationship you can not find common ground. The second stage, decisive action, this is the stage where you have to go on the offensive. By this time, your emotions will subside a little. You will be able to calm down, miss your lover, and get rid of some of the negative emotions that appeared in your soul after the breakup.
Next, you need to change your image, transform yourself dramatically and make yourself a completely different person. A woman that anew, with a new force will cause in a guy interest.
How to do this? You need to work as much as possible on their:
– appearance (you need to change your appearance as much as possible, and most importantly, as best as possible);
– Attitude (you should learn to live and communicate in a positive way). Try to eradicate bad habits that discourage people: fear, dissatisfaction, laziness, jealousy. Your task – to become cheerful and positive. All this comes with time, if diligent study;
– Life’s schedule. It is very important not to spend your weekdays waiting for a call from your ex, or from those who can entertain you. Learn to generate events in your life yourself, then you will begin to attract people who will want to become part of your reality.
In addition, it is recommended that you show your ex in any way, directly, through mutual acquaintances or social networks, how great your life is. You have changed beyond recognition, you are doing great, and most importantly, there are always many people and fans around you. Play on the unexpected. He expected you, after his words about the breakup, grab his pant leg and beg you not to leave, but you not only coped with negative emotions, but also found the strength to move on. Easy and happy, looking your best and meeting new people. Just such a paradox in your behavior, which does not fit his stereotypical thinking, will cause a man’s keen interest. Lover will realize that he was in a hurry, when he decided for himself that you are for him – understood and boring woman. It turns out that you are a unique person who deserves not only respect (for willpower), but also admiration!
He will definitely reach out and offer you a fresh start, because all men like women (like you), without exception. So, let’s answer your question again, briefly and re-answer, “If a man says he doesn’t love you, is it true?” Not always. A man, by telling you what he doesn’t love, may believe it, or he may have a completely different, deeper and more hidden agenda. So do not immediately piously trust his words! In any case, even if he really fell out of love, you can always return the location of your loved one.
