What to talk about with a lover: a general outline

Women’s tricks and men’s pranks: how to behave with a lover to control him

A love affair on the side is an opportunity to bring a little color and intrigue into your life, to feel like a novel heroine and start your own game without rules. The main thing here is to remember about the boundaries and your own world, not to violate each other’s comfort zone and not to try to gain power over your partner by blackmailing or showing unnecessary emotions. Some rules and psychological techniques will help to navigate to the right course of the relationship and get the most out of it and positive emotions to achieve harmony between partners.

A love affair on the side is an opportunity to bring a little color and intrigue into your life, to feel like a novel heroine and start your own game without rules. The main thing here is to remember about the boundaries and your own world, not to violate each other’s comfort zone and not to try to gain power over your partner by blackmailing or showing unnecessary emotions. Some rules and psychological techniques will help to navigate to the right course of the relationship and get the most out of it and positive emotions to achieve harmony between partners.

Relationships on the side: pros and cons

Although society does not support such behavior, on an emotional level, it is important to nurture and feel a sense of comfort. If this is achieved by such a method, both lovers feel good with each other, psychology does not condemn such behavior.

The advantages of a relationship with a married man include:

  • Having personal space. Time together is not weighed down by talk about others, jealousy or unnecessary questioning. People meet, enjoy each other and then go back to business as usual.
  • The adrenaline rushes out. Each meeting is a dangerous game, because lovers need to hide so they don’t find out their husbands, cipher, find secluded meeting places, and count the minutes they spend together. For the ladies such shaking like vitamin bombs. Her eyes are burning, there is a slight blush, her heart leaps out of her chest, the feeling of butterflies returns to her stomach. She blossoms as she feels wanted and sexy.
  • Role choice. The woman gets used to family life, and her days gradually become framed by everyday life. She dreams of showing herself to be active, energetic, and to realize her hidden talents. But as a wife, she simply will not have that opportunity, but a mistress can be anyone.

There are benefits in such a relationship not only for the woman, but also for the man. The presence of such a relationship increases his libido and self-esteem. He feels attractive and interesting to others. He wants to tell everyone about himself, adds confidence. It is especially pleasant for a man to rest psychologically with his partner.

The disadvantages of a relationship on the side include:

  • The possible loss of a partner. The lady quickly gets used to the chosen one and wants the duration of the relationship to depend on her, because being married, she is used to control everything. Psychologists advise not to project family life on love games, so that the lover himself reaches out to the woman, does not get scared of responsibilities and does not break the connection.
  • The transience of relationships. It is not necessary to take an affair for a serious change in life. The play format will never grow into something bigger and cannot be the foundation for a successful relationship. If one partner is comfortable with meeting and having a good time, the other partner should be comfortable with it. The point of a relationship is to get an emotional boost and an opportunity to vent your emotions.

What should be avoided.

Scientists from the American Institutes for Behavioral Science have concluded that it is human nature to manipulate others and impose their opinions for their own comfort and needs. This is independent of temperament and character. Information about survival, mating, procreation and desire satisfaction has been passed down from generation to generation through the genetic material and codes embedded in the body.

That is why it is not worth talking about unselfishness and ease of casual encounters now, because each partner wants to get something. In order for the relationship to be comfortable and without unnecessary demands, it is necessary to adhere to a pattern of behavior. In the future, this will safeguard against unnecessary emotions and feelings of loss:

Tip Execute
Do not broach the subject of relatives. During meetings, communication should not cross certain boundaries, so that the boundary of personal space is not violated. Otherwise, the relationship will begin to modify to a new level and instead of a lover, you may get a companion
Not to fall in love, to keep a “consumer” relationship at a distance Of course, not everyone is able to hold their own and command their heart. But physical contact is much easier to forget than an emotional connection. If you make a man fall in love and afraid of losing his companion, you can turn the usual uncomplicated game into a real drama with the breakup of the family
Do not let the power over yourself Every man likes to woo a woman and win her affection. If this stage is not in the relationship, the easy trophy quickly loses its value and turns into a nice souvenir thing, which is pathetic to throw away, and do not want to use. It is necessary to behave as equals, to communicate calmly and without unnecessary sentiment, correctly put their position and not give up a step of personal space. A man needs to understand that in bed his partner allows herself to be loved, but in real life she does not owe him anything. This rule also applies to overly sensual men who get attached to mistresses. There is no need to stoop below the level of your partner
Accept signs of attention with joy. A big mistake women make is that they refuse gifts from a man. The lady wants to show her independence, but by doing so she discourages the man in his desire to please her. It is necessary to accept gifts with joy and confidence, because if the partner offers beautiful things, it means that the lady is worthy of these signs of attention

Fears of a lover

Relationships can come to a standstill not only because of the woman, because the partner also has his own worries about it. If suddenly the meetings stopped or he begins to go on the retreat, do not run after him and try to find out what happened. Perhaps the reason – not a woman, but his internal barriers.

The most common fears of a man can include:

  • Fear of meeting his husband. Although near a lady he ruffles feathers and tries to look independent and strong, it is not easy to look into the eyes of the man from whom you steal love. And men like to dramatize and imagine these meetings in all colors.
  • Fear of incurring responsibility. No matter how good and comfortable lovers are with each other, sooner or later the man begins to think that the lady may demand not only meetings, but also something more, such as his freedom. If it is important for her to keep the connection, then it is better to forget about quarrels and petty claims at once.
  • Getting out of the comfort zone. If at the beginning of the union, the partner is happy with everything and he does not want changes, it will be wrong to force him out of this state. The lover remembers the first impression of the meeting, the lightness and flightiness. If further relationships are not like that, he will soon wonder if he is ready to develop a new plot.

A woman’s strength and confidence can drive a man into shyness. Rarely does a man like his chosen one to be more successful and fortunate. A man begins to feel his inferiority and wants to realize himself in other things. But next to such a lady he will be uncomfortable and difficult, so in most cases, the relationship is doomed to failure. To keep a partner, a woman needs to give in to him and show her weaknesses.

Beauty can scare away or scare a man. As strange as it may sound, they are afraid of beautiful and attractive women.

Tips for women

In order to further strengthen your position and fall in love with a man, relationship psychology offers a whole methodology of action. The implementation of simple tips will help to manage situations and keep your companion under control:

  • Behave with your lover should be careful, from time to time to reduce the selected distance.
  • Straight back and piercing look. Many women forget how important the view from the outside is. No makeup and expensive clothes will give confidence as much as the correct posture copes with this. Combined with an open, straight look, it’s a time bomb that will drive a man crazy.
  • Beautiful underwear adds to a woman’s confidence and makes her attractive to a man. Clothing in general should be clean and high quality, without flaws. A man loves with his eyes. You should be careful with cosmetics and perfume, because they should emphasize the advantages, not turn a woman into a painted doll.

In behavior, be sure to pay attention to the little things that evoke emotion in the companion: phrases that he likes, or interesting statements. Thanks to gestures and the right style of conversation, you can bind the person to you and control him. If the contact is lost and the partner only wants physical pleasure, you should not try to change that, but you can leave him and move on in search of the ideal.

A man ignores things that don’t interest or touch him. Ladies, on the other hand, love to chat and tell a lot of unnecessary things, from their hobbies to going to the movies with their girlfriends. The game should create an atmosphere of easy reticence. Let the man understand that life does not end with him and the woman is fine in her own world.

Your insults, problems and tantrums are best left locked up at home, and give the man tenderness and unobtrusive conversation with jokes and good humor. The relationship should be beautiful. There is no need to say unnecessary phrases or try to offend the man in order to cause a reaction to his words. If you can’t achieve the desired ease or there are no common topics of conversation, you need to switch to your partner and tell him compliments and nice things to make him feel important. But it is a woman who decides whether to continue the relationship or to let her partner go.

Bed Scenes

Relationships on the side are made for sex. This is the main reason why two people want to meet and enjoy each other. If communication doesn’t work out, if you can’t open up to your partner, intimacy will make everything better. After making love, the awkward moment will end and the partners will be able to see each other in a different light, a softer one.

Feelings of lovers do not only depend on physical capabilities, but also on the psychological state. They both have to try hard to get a good result. Three tips will help to get the full range of emotions and enjoy incredible sex:

  1. The man needs to submit on a physical level and try the way he wants. When the partner sees that the lady is trying for him, he will also want to thank and do everything to make her feel needed.
  2. You don’t have to be afraid to explore each other’s bodies. Since sex has more to do with physical sensations and body features than with the emotional sphere, tactile contact is necessary here. Men want to see their partner as a promiscuous and playful woman who can surprise you.
  3. It is necessary to be unpredictable and to include in sex an element of play. It is not necessary to do it only in one place, using the same poses. The more experimentation and enjoyment, the harder it will be for a man to control his emotions and common sense.

Performing simple but effective techniques will not only allow you to experience pleasurable feelings, but also to control your partner according to his desires. If he can give up the nervous restless hysterical woman, then the bossy, compliant and confident sexy lady will simply lose his head.

How a woman behave with her lover to control him

Situations when a married man finds a mistress, there are many times. Married women are not behind in the number of adultery, despite the fact that such relations are more censured and condemned in society. Often it all starts with an innocent flirtation at a party or on a business trip, gradually growing into a romantic relationship with a secret meeting in hotels and rented apartments.

Wondering how to behave with a lover, many women believe that the most important thing – it is not to spill in front of her husband. But in practice it is not so simple. If you are involved in a relationship with another man, you need to constantly monitor it, so he did not become a threat to you and your family. How to do this?

Relationships on the side: why does a woman need a lover?

After living in a marriage of several years, some women begin to pine for the former romance, passion, feeling of “butterflies in the stomach”, date night and other sweet joys of the sweet and bouquet period. Your beloved and dear spouse is no longer the young romantic that he was many years ago. Marital duty according to the schedule does not bring pleasure, routine and everyday life have filled all the space. Everything changes after an unexpected meeting with another man who looks with admiration and says compliments. Not every woman can resist the vivid emotions of a new love affair. There are obvious pluses in such a relationship:

  • The motivation to always look well-groomed and beautiful;
  • Increased self-esteem from a man’s attention;
  • burning eyes and good mood;
  • improvement in general condition, physical and mental uplift;
  • pleasure from sex;
  • desire to develop and achieve your goals.

The main tragedy of such relationships is that sooner or later they end anyway. This happens for various reasons: the husband found out about everything, an unmarried man found a free girlfriend, a business trip ended, etc. If you have gone too far in their feelings, the rupture of the relationship may be accompanied by a deep depression. To avoid such problems, it is important to clearly understand how to behave with your lover, to protect yourself as much as possible.

How to behave with a lover

The basic rules of any adultery are not to rush headlong into a maelstrom and to preserve sanity, not to violate the boundaries of each other and to stipulate the format of the relationship in advance. Manipulation and psychological pressure in such unions can harm not only you but also your family, so you can not provoke your lover to conflict. And that’s not all. How to behave with a married or free lover, so that adultery brings pleasure to both of you and as long as possible remained in a positive way? Consider a few simple tips.

Keep your distance: do not fall in love.

Making a romantic affair on the side, do not forget that the lover is a potential threat to your family. If you want to save your marriage, to protect the spouse from jealousy and worries, set the distance with the new man in advance, do not give yourself and him false hopes. Starting a relationship on the side, explain to your lover, that you do not intend to leave the family and cherish your marriage. The situation should always be kept under control. Otherwise, the chosen one can cross the line and begin to demand more and more attention. And such a relationship should be ended immediately.

Sometimes women who wanted an easy flirtation “for the tone”, fall in love themselves and begin to rush between her husband and her lover. In such situations, ladies make irreparable mistakes, ruin their families, and lose forever the support and respect of their relatives and friends.

To avoid such global problems, avoid emotional attachment, keep an emotional distance and try not to fall in love. Do not idealize your lover. Unlike your husband, you hardly know him – he may not be as wonderful as he seems.

Do not make scandals, jealousy scenes.

Married women who have an affair with young guys get a lot of positive emotions, regular sex, youthful energy and new strength. But it’s so hard to restrain his jealousy when there are so many young ladies around.

How to behave with a young lover, to keep the relationship as long as possible? First of all, honestly admit to yourself that soon this relationship will stop, so enjoy today:

  • Don’t dive into the details of your intimate partner’s personal life;
  • Do not monitor where and with whom he spends his free time;
  • Don’t follow him on social networks;
  • Don’t burden him: don’t show fatigue, don’t complain about work and family.

The lover also has to share you with your husband, so try to restrain your jealousy of other girls and do not make scandals. Such a complicated relationship will quickly bore the young guy, and soon parting in this case is inevitable.

Do not make plans for the future

Another important rule of behavior with a lover is not to delude yourself with the illusion that one day he will propose, make you leave your annoying husband, and take you and the children to his spacious country house. Such an outcome is unlikely, and should not count on it. Free men willingly have affairs with married ladies precisely because of the lack of any obligation.

Do not position adultery as a second family, use it only as a source of positive experiences and pleasure:

  • don’t start conversations with a man about a serious relationship and family;
  • Do not ask questions about what you mean to him;
  • Don’t ask about the women who have gone before you and are now.

The further a woman goes in her dreams of a happy family life with her lover, the more painful the breakup will be for her later.

Accept signs of attention

In building a romantic relationship on the side can be guided by reasonable selfishness. The meaning of such a union should be found only in receiving pleasant emotions, so do not deny yourself the pleasure of accepting beautiful advances from your new partner. Do not resist if he wants to rent a fancy hotel room, order an expensive dinner from a restaurant or give you a piece of jewelry. As a rule, it is the beautiful gestures that women miss in long marriages.

One of the most important rules for how to communicate with your lover is to be strictly discreet. Don’t accept gifts that can make your spouse obviously suspicious: bouquets of flowers, jewelry with romantic symbols, extravagant lingerie, expensive smartphones, etc.

Don’t advertise the relationship

You can not tell anyone about your cheating, including your mother and close friends, much less your colleagues. There is no guarantee that the person you confided in the secret, by accident or intentionally will not let slip any of your family members. Rumors travel quickly, so protect your private life from prying eyes:

  • Do not meet your lover in public places;
  • Forbid him to meet you at work and walk you home;
  • Do not talk to him on the phone in front of your friends.

Even during the temporary absence of the spouse do not invite the lover to your home. Surely one of the neighbors will notice a strange man near you.

Be Prepared to Break Up

Breaking the union with your lover cannot be prevented. Sooner or later he will find a free girl and want to create a full family with her. So even now, when there is harmony and passion in the relationship, do not lose common sense and adequately assess the situation. Parting is easier to take, if you understand in advance a few important points:

  1. Essentially, a lover is a person with whom you have a mutually beneficial “cooperation”, no obligations and plans for the future.
  2. Good sex – it is not a guarantee of a lasting union, perhaps tomorrow you will lose interest in the lover and look at her husband with different eyes.
  3. Starting a relationship with another man, being married, it is important to realize that you have no right to demand his eternal love and devotion.

Be prepared that at any time you can break up, including not on your initiative. Do not regard this as some kind of tragedy. Consider your romance as an interesting journey that will leave a lot of beautiful unforgettable moments. But life does not end there, and in any case you have to go further.

How to Behave Wisely with a Married Lover

Often married women have married men as lovers. This is the safest relationship, where both partners understand each other like no one else, do not overstep personal boundaries and adequately assess their place in such a union.

But even in this “perfect and trouble-free” adultery has its own rules, how to behave as a mistress. The man perceives such a relationship as entertainment and an escape from the family routine. Therefore, the main thing for him is peace, ease of communication and lack of demands. If you complicate the relationship, complain about the lack of attention, position the lover as “your soulmate” and require him to fulfill the standard marital obligations, most likely the man will rush to break the connection.

How a married man’s mistress should behave:

  1. Unlike free guys, with whom you can make a date at any time convenient for you, with a married man you need to make arrangements in advance. Do not demand to adjust to your personal plans, try to create conditions that are convenient for both.
  2. Do not be jealous of your partner’s wife and children, do not try to take the key place in his life and fill all the space. He expects something completely different from you – understanding and absence of complaints on every occasion, and he can get a portion of hysterics at home as well.
  3. Do not demand expensive gifts and “payment” for your time. You are on equal terms, carry the same risks, and both receive a certain benefit from the relationship. Allow your partner to give nice gifts according to his or her wishes and means.
  4. Rare duty meetings in hotel rooms can quickly become habitual and boring. Keep your partner’s interest, don’t run to him at the first call, putting off your own business, and don’t be afraid to say “no” to any requests that seem unacceptable to you.
  5. During dates don’t discuss families, don’t criticize spouses, try to give as little personal information about yourself as possible. Such conversations may play against you.
  6. Do not take a lover just as an object for sex. You spend a certain period of your life with this person, so strive to find out what he does and what he is. It is not necessary to collect an entire dossier on your lover, but knowing basic things about your companion (where he works, what he is into, etc.) will not be superfluous.

Being the mistress of a married man does not mean that you have to adjust to him in everything. Keep your distance and maintain your self-respect. In the first place you should not be his interests, but his own. If your partner is trying to adjust you to himself, constantly dictate their terms and impose it convenient relationship format, such a relationship is better to break up in the early days.


Affair on the side does not always carry a danger to the marriage. Sometimes a short-term affair helps a woman to understand that there is no one better and nobler than her husband and will not be. In some cases, adultery gives new life to marital unions that were on the verge of breaking down. But this does not mean that at the slightest problem in the family should seek solace on the side. You must first correct your own mistakes in the marriage, talk to your spouse and seek a way out together.

If it so happened that you have a lover, do not rush to put a cross on the marriage and change her husband. Over time, the same routine will be waiting for you in a new relationship, and the passion and the bright feelings will become a habit and routine. Given the emotional impulse and the influence of hormones, it is easy to destroy a familiar, even if boring, life in a matter of minutes. It can take the rest of your life to build something worthwhile instead.

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