What to talk about with a guy by correspondence: study in general terms

The best topics to talk to a guy by correspondence, told in 2 minutes

In this article I will tell you how to choose topics for a conversation with a guy by correspondence, how to attract the attention of men in the online space, with what messages is better to start a conversation in social networks, as well as I will share with you practical experience in communication with girls, which will work with the same success in correspondence with men.

I will also share with you my practical experience on how to talk to girls which will work just as well in a correspondence with men. Read until the end of the article and you will know what messages are better to start a correspondence in social networks, what games exist in online communication, and also you will learn how to make him respond to your message 100%, and then count the minutes until you meet him.

Topics for a conversation with a guy by correspondence

You can talk to a guy by correspondence on any topic, with the exception of some, which I will talk about a little bit below.

Now I want you to remember the following: The main task of any pen pal is to make sure that you are the one who is having fun and interesting. If you are going to have fun, then the guy will feel it and he will like you.

Tip! In correspondence, it’s important to focus on the guy’s interests and his life. Many girls make the mistake – they talk a lot about their life and try to talk mostly about themselves, so you should not do this. Your task is to put the guy in the spotlight, and then he will communicate with double interest. People love to talk about themselves most of all, and you need to take advantage of this.

And now I’m going to tell you what topics you shouldn’t talk to a guy about.

Don’t talk to a guy about these topics! 1. Politics Everyone can have their own political views and your point of view may differ. And disagreements are grounds for conflict, which you don’t want.

2. Religion The situation with religion is the same as with politics.

3. Talking about exes In talking about exes, it’s very easy to say a lot of unnecessary things and make yourself look bad, so leave the past in the past and don’t talk about it.

How to Start a Dialogue with a Guy – Step-by-Step Instructions

Step 1: Study his social media page and find out his interests. Now we’ll break it all down with examples.

Above you see the communities to which the girl is subscribed. I met her on a dating site, and then we switched to vk. She is clearly interested in sports, proper nutrition, etc. Now I can easily start a dialogue with her about this topic. But it’s important not just to start a dialogue, but to do it right.

The formula for proper dialogue = Compliment + Ask for advice. I will now demonstrate the effectiveness of this formula in practice.

Phase 1 – Compliment (Body image speaks for itself) and create intrigue (we need advice, but do not say right away what it is) In dealing with guys, the same principles work.

Stage 2 – Ask for advice. And now you see how willingly the girl gives me advice. People enjoy giving advice and feeling important. This is especially true of men. Men will be even more willing to share their opinions and answer your questions.

Important: The question should not be difficult, otherwise the man may not answer it.

Why does this formula work and why do I recommend it to you?

  • It is not a formulaic way to start a conversation;
  • Individual approach;
  • A person is always pleasant to receive compliments;
  • People just love giving advice and feeling like experts;
  • By giving advice, the person is investing in you and spending time, so you become more valuable to him;

Step 2: See photos.

If you have not found anything interesting in communities, then look at photos of the guy in social networks, there are also many things you can learn from them.

Now let me show you an example.

Above you see a photo of a guy from Vkontakte, what information does it give us?

He went on vacation to the sea. Conclusion: We can get hooked on this topic and start a dialogue with him. Plus, the topic of the vacation will trigger pleasant memories in him, which will be associated with you. Because you are the one who brought up this topic for conversation.

You could write him the following: “Hi, I’m hooked on one of your photos” (do not say which one right away – keep the intrigue). He: “Hi, which one?” You: “Where are you at sea, need advice” (wait for a pause) He: “Which one?” You: “I’m going to fly on vacation soon, I’m interested in your opinion, what do you think about the place you went?”

Next with a high probability he will start to answer the question in detail and you will have a dialogue. And yes, you don’t have to actually go on vacation, it will just be a cover story to get to know each other.

You can get hooked on the topic of conversation with the guy through any information you get, then all that remains is to intelligently spin it all.

A real life story:

The principle of starting a dialogue was exactly the same as in the previous examples, only without the compliment.

One day I came across a page of a girl in Vkontakte, she is very cool and attractive. She had a lot of likes under her pics and a decent amount of followers. I decided to make sure that with a probability close to 100% she responded to my message.

I went for a little trickery, seeing that she was studying at university for a psychologist, I decided to use this information. At that time I really wanted to enroll, but used the topic of admission only as a clue to start a dialogue. After talking about university we began to communicate on other topics and it came to a meeting, and then we had a relationship.

If I had written: “Hi, let’s meet” by her own admission nothing would have happened. It turned out that such messages she gets almost every day and just ignores them.

Moral of the story: take advantage of any information you notice. Use an unconventional approach, as the phrase: “You’re cool / cool let’s meet” will not surprise anyone.

Questions to get a guy interested in.

Questions are a good tool that can help you get to know a guy better and evoke emotion in him. To really get a guy hooked on your questions, I recommend following a few rules:

1)Ask open-ended questions.

An open-ended question is a question to which the person you’re talking to can only give a detailed answer, he won’t be able to answer “Yes” or “No”.

An example of an open-ended question: Tell us about your impressions of the trip? – There is no way to answer “Yes” or “No” to this question.

Example of a closed question: Did you enjoy your trip? (The person will answer “Yes” or “No” to this question and there is a chance that the conversation will fade away at this point).

Close-ended questions are best avoided, especially at the beginning of the conversation.

2) Avoid trivial questions.

Examples of commonplace questions: – How are you? – What are you doing? – What are you doing? Etc.

Why you shouldn’t write banal questions to a guy:

  • Such questions are asked by everyone. And you don’t stand out;
  • They do not evoke emotions;
  • You won’t get a detailed and interesting answer;
  • Communication will turn out to be boring and standard;

3) The question must evoke emotions.

For example, if we ask a person about his trip or vacation, we evoke positive emotions in his memory.

Now I will give you an example of questions that can evoke emotions in a person.

  • Tell me about your dream life, what is it like?
  • What was the best day of your life?
  • What was the worst day of your life? Etc.

These kinds of questions are better asked during the pen pal game, and we’ll talk about that in this article soon.

Evaluation questions – what are they and why do they work?

Evaluation questions are questions that will help you evaluate the relationship objectively.

Why ask these questions?

First, to get to know the guy and understand whether he’s right for you or not. Secondly, your value in his eyes will grow. Because you show that you care about the person you’re hanging out with and do not trade on everyone. With an evaluating question, you’re showing that it’s you and not you that’s being chosen.

Examples of evaluation questions:

– Do you drink alcohol? If so, how often do you do it? – What disadvantages do you have? – What are your ambitions and plans for the future? – Do you think you have a positive mindset?

Tip: Ask the guy the things that are important to you.

For example, it’s important to me that a girl doesn’t smoke or abuse alcohol. I ask evaluative questions and I know if she’s right for me or not. Plus the girl feels that I’m evaluating her and making my own choices, this makes me even more interesting in her eyes.

Switching games in facebook with a guy – Top 3 games

The game is a good tool in correspondence that can close several goals at once:

  1. The game brings you closer together;
  2. The game can cheer you up;
  3. You get to know each other better;
  4. The person is invested in communicating with you;

Now I’m going to share a few game ideas with you, and show you what it looks like in practice.

1)The game “What would you do if …?”

The rules of the game: you take turns asking each other “What would you do (will you do) if…?”, and then you add your own question. The main thing is that the questions are interesting. After the question, the person must answer how they think they would behave in that situation.

The more absurd and interesting the question, the better.

Examples of interesting questions that provoke emotion:

  • What would you do if you won $100 million in the lottery?
  • What would you do if you were kidnapped and wanted to be sold for organs?
  • What would you do if you had one day to live?
  • What would you do if you became president of the country?

Then I recommend doing this trick, after the guy answers one more time, you write the following: “Stop, no more games, I get it!)”.

The guy asks what do you understand? You don’t read the message for about 30 minutes, you wait for a pause, he is racking his brains in the meantime. And then you write: “I understand that you are an interesting person.

2) The guessing game

Rules of the game: You take turns telling each other facts about yourself, the task of guessing is real or false. For example, you say: “I’m a ballerina in the theater”, and the task of the guy to guess if it’s true or not. If he guesses, he gets +1 point, if not, he gets no points. Then the guy has to say a fact about himself and so on around the circle.

The game is played to a score of, say, up to 5 points. Loser buys the winner a coffee (or something else, depends on imagination).

Personal experience: the game is suitable for all ages. I’ve played it with both girls 17 years old and girls 26+. And every one of them played it with interest.

3) The game “Questions”.

You take turns asking each other questions, but there are a few conditions.

You can’t ask boring questions like: “Where do you go to school? Where do you live?” and other routine questions.

It is obligatory to answer the truth and the number of questions is limited. And also no restrictions on the topics, you can ask everything. For all its apparent simplicity of the game is very cool, because it opens up great opportunities to get to know the man and have an interesting time.

How to Pick Up a Guy by Correspondence – Practical Advice

In a previous article I have already written some rules that you should follow in correspondence with a guy. You can read the article here (opens in a new tab).

Now I’m going to repeat the principles of effective correspondence with the guy from the previous article, and then I’ll expand this list and share more tricks.

  • Write shorter messages than he does (or the same length, but no longer);
  • Don’t respond to messages right away (if the guy doesn’t respond right away);
  • Talk more about him;
  • Be positive and never complain;

To improve your effectiveness and get a guy even more interested, I also recommend adhering to the following recommendations:

1)Fewer emoticons.

Remove smiley faces so that the guy guesses by himself what you mean, positive or negative, this way more images and questions will form in his head.

2)Don’t be more interested in him than he is in you.

Above you see my correspondence with a girl, originally we agreed to go out with her, but she read an article on my website and it scared her off. The girl was afraid that I would manipulate her, or maybe it was just a test: how I would behave. But I’m not interested in people any more than they are in me and I won’t make any extra effort.

Of course I can pressurize her and make her change her mind, but in this situation it was necessary to do exactly that.

As a result, my messages made her even more interested.

I recommend that you do the same. If a guy communicates with you reluctantly and coldly, it’s his problem, not yours. Turn on the coldness in response.

3)Create intrigue.

Getting a message from you should raise more and more questions in his head.

Life story: Corresponding with a girl on a dating site she started sending voice messages.

I decided to create an intrigue and wrote: “Well, you certainly have a voice” (without smileys and commas, so it was not clear with what emotion I wrote it). Me: Unusual (no emoticons) She: Is it good or bad? Me: Well, what do you think yourself She: Hmm, I do not know, you do not like my voice? I’m just sick right now) Me (after some time waiting for a pause): It’s okay, it’s very feminine. She: And I already thought that you didn’t like my voice. She: Thank you, I’m very pleased)

I created intrigue, made her hesitant and emotional. All of this from just one voice message. So I advise you to create intrigue in your correspondence with a guy, it works very well. He shouldn’t have to guess what’s on your mind or how you feel about him.

4)Make yourself fun

One last tip: During your pen pal, have fun and make yourself laugh.

The proper purpose of a pen pal is to cheer yourself up and the rest is secondary.

Don’t be afraid to scare off a guy with unusual messages. Don’t put too much importance on your correspondence and then you’ll succeed. The more importance you put on a guy, the less chance you have of success. Conversely, the less important you are, the more relaxed you are and things will start to work out.

Experiment more, always ask yourself, “What would he say if I wrote him so-and-so?” and put it to the test.


I tried as much as possible to reveal the topic of online communication in this article. Now you can easily find a subject for a conversation with a guy by correspondence, you know what principles are better to follow in writing messages, and you also saw a practical example of what intrigue in correspondence and how to use it correctly.

That’s all for me. If you found this article useful – share it on social networks. Also if you have any questions – write them in the comments.

What to talk to a guy about in correspondence and on the phone – TOP-50 ideas

Relationships begin with communication. And a good relationship starts with interesting communication. If there is a mutual interest between a guy and a girl, then the topics of conversation, as a rule, find themselves. But there are days when your head simply does not work, but to communicate at the same time I really want to.

Do not get upset: having in your arsenal of questions for discussion, you will never seem like a boring conversationalist.

A few rules for the conversation

Before you start communicating, you should know what it is better not to do. Otherwise, the relationship will simply end without starting.

You don’t need to violate a guy’s personal boundaries and make him feel like he’s being interrogated.

A few things to consider:

  • Avoid topics you don’t know about at all so you don’t sound stupid;
  • Don’t interrupt your interlocutor, let him speak his mind to the end;
  • Be flexible. Being categorical in some questions can really interfere;
  • Don’t stamp questions through every message. Try to discuss, then move on to the next one;
  • Don’t expect a momentary response to your messages. Give the guy time;
  • If your communication has just begun, you don’t need to rush to load him up with your problems and complain;
  • Don’t ask the same question over and over again.

If you follow these rules, you will show yourself to be a pleasant, tactful and interesting conversationalist who will want to come back.

Top 50 topics for a conversation with a man that bring him closer

What do not people talk about. The cause of heated discussions can be any problem. Also, some issues help people get to know each other better.

There are topics that are better not to discuss, and there are those that do not have the courage to discuss in person. Therefore, correspondence and a phone call are very helpful.

The following ideas you can use to talk to your boyfriend.

To get to know him better.

  • If you could make three wishes that are sure to come true, what would they be?
  • What movie best describes your life?
  • What do you basically do and what do you want to be “when you grow up”?
  • What is your favorite food? Do you know how to cook it yourself? Or would you rather have someone else cook it for you?

10 tips for hooking up with a guy

  • How many friends do you have? How long have you known each other? How did the acquaintance happen?
  • Are you into sports? Or maybe did you do it as a kid? How do you feel about “working out”?
  • Do you have pets? How do you feel about animals in general?
  • What do you like to do in your spare time from work and school?
  • How do you feel about your appearance? Are there things you wish you could fix?
  • Do you recognize black humor? Or do you think there are things you shouldn’t joke about? What are those things?

Find out about relationships.

  • Who was your first love? Did you date? Why did you break up?
  • What qualities should your chosen one have? What do you value most?
  • If your friends or parents don’t like your girlfriend, will you break up with her? Or will you change your mind about her?
  • What mistake is enough for you to end the relationship?
  • How do you feel about cheating? Is there any justification for such an act? Would you be able to forgive the person you love?
  • Have you ever fallen in love unrequitedly? Why didn’t your relationship work out?
  • Are you a romantic? Do girls make you want to surprise them and arrange original dates?
  • Would you like your sweetheart to work in a certain place? Or does your profession make no difference?
  • Are you okay with the girl’s initiative? How do you feel about her making the first move?
  • Do you believe in friendship between a man and a woman? Do you allow your significant other to have guy friends? Do you have girlfriends yourself?

Lighten the mood.

  • Would you like to learn to fly? Where would you fly first?
  • Do you get up right after the first alarm clock or after the tenth?
  • If I asked you, would you go into space with me?
  • What color would you paint your room? And your refrigerator?
  • Would you want to take a walk in the park in just your bathrobe? Would you?
  • A robot vacuum cleaner has a chart for cleaning your apartment. Do you have a scheme for cleaning your socks?
  • Do you sing when you shower? What kind of songs are they?
  • Imagine you have to move urgently to another country totally different from the one you were born in. You can only take three things with you. What kinds of things would they be?
  • What would you want to do in retirement?
  • If you could make a movie, what would the movie be about, and who would you star?

Dig deeper into your personality.

  • What is the most valuable thing in life to you? What do you see as its meaning?
  • Did you have a happy childhood? What is your most vivid memory?
  • Would you like to live forever? Staying forever young and not with a set of aging illnesses?
  • How would you describe your ideal day?
  • Do you have any phobias? Are they related to anything? Can you share?
  • What skills would you like to develop in yourself and what do you think you need them for?
  • Would you like to change something drastically in your life?
  • Are there things that would make you cry?
  • What qualities do you value most in people and what qualities are you not willing to put up with?
  • What and who are you thankful for in this life?

Dangerous but interesting questions

  • How do you feel about feminism? Do you think all feminists hate men?
  • Is male polygamy okay? Why are men’s cheating treated more loyally?
  • How would you feel if your child came to you and told you he loved a man of his own sex?
  • What would you say about partnered births?
  • Do you think it’s acceptable to hit women? Or, in general, other people?
  • Do you agree with the statement “no one, no one, owes anything?”
  • Can maternity leave really be considered a vacation?
  • In your opinion, should there be someone in charge in the family? Or is everyone equal and entitled to their opinion?
  • Should household chores be shared? Or should a woman work, take care of the children, cook and clean?
  • Do you consider a man who refuses to drink alcohol in company to be inadequate?

It is best to choose topics and ask questions according to the situation. Some of them can really “set the man on fire,” so be careful.

On the other hand – his negative reaction can be a great indicator of inadequacy, and you’ll just move on.

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