What to do if you’ve fallen in love?

How to behave if you’re in love

Contributor(s): Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a New York City-based dating coaching company. NYC Wingwoman matches couples, helps them meet, provides one-on-one coaching services, and organizes weekend intensive classes. Cher is a certified personality coach and former psychiatric nurse. Her work has been featured in Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1 and The New York Post.

Number of sources used in this article: 11. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

Number of views of this article: 13 537.

Falling in love is both an exciting and frightening feeling. If you have fallen in love, first allow yourself to feel the fullness of the feeling. Then behave as usual in the company of the person, if you don’t want to give yourself away. Otherwise, start flirting and make the first move. It is to be hoped that you, too, are sympathetic to the object of your adoration! If your liking is not mutual, then pull yourself together and remember that there are plenty of other potential partners around.

  • During conversations, you can adopt the tone and pitch of your voice, as well as certain words. For example, you can also respond with sarcasm to sarcasm, or adjust the volume of your voice to your interlocutor.
  • Such actions should be natural and non-obvious. You don’t have to repeat every step. Just adopt the body language in general, otherwise the person will suspect something wrong.

  • There is no need to be rude or hurtful to the person in an attempt to hide your feelings. For example, joking or teasing the person harmlessly is fine, but you don’t need to say, “I think you gained a few pounds over the holidays!” if the person is embarrassed about their weight.
  • If you find it difficult to act normal or you get very anxious in the person’s presence, try to take a few deep breaths and exhales before you start talking. Focus on how the air passes through your nose and into your lungs.

  • If you are in the same class, there is still a way out. For example, sit at another desk or ask a classmate to do lab work with you.
  • Your attempt to distance yourself should not be obvious. For example, if the person is walking towards you, you don’t need to run away. Smile politely and keep walking.

  • This way you’ll not only be able to distract yourself, but you’ll also spend time on self-development!
  • If you keep checking your phone even when you’re out with friends, put it on “Do Not Disturb” mode so you don’t get alerts for social media messages.

  • Only you can see your diary, so don’t withhold anything! Write whatever comes to mind.
  • You can also create a text document on your computer or take notes on your smartphone.
  • Take notes at will or as needed. You can set specific times or write in moments of inspiration. For example, write down your thoughts after random meetings.

  • For example, start a conversation by saying, “I need to tell you something important, but promise not to tell anyone, not even your other friends, okay? It’s very personal.”
  • Choose a private place for the conversation, like your bedroom, so no one can overhear you.
  • Don’t tell your friends about your crush if you don’t trust them or if they can’t keep a secret. Your decision should be a wise and balanced one.
  • If you’re worried about your friends blabbing, it’s better to talk to your parents, sister or brother. They might even help you with practical advice.

  • As strange as it may sound, schedule time to think about the person so that fantasies don’t consume you. For example, set a timer for 20 minutes before you go to bed. After 20 minutes, start thinking about something else.

  • “Flaws” can be any aspect that prevents you from calling the choice perfect, even if it’s just a minor quibble. For example, a guy is the same height as you, but you like taller guys.

Tip: Keep your list in a safe place. The list on paper can be put in a desk drawer or hidden in a diary. On your phone, you can use an app with a password.

  • Better yet, ask, “If you could turn into any animal, which one would you choose?” – Instead of, “Would you like to be a cat?” – and, “What do you think of the home reading book?” – instead of, “Do you like this book?”
  • The questions should be appropriate. If you ask too many, the conversation will feel like an interrogation. Choose questions that are relevant to the topic of the conversation.
  • For example, if the person said they like pizza, you might ask, “What’s your favorite topping?” rather than jumping to a question about a favorite song.

  • Don’t be sad if the hints don’t get the job done. That’s the thing about hints: they’re not always obvious.
  • If the person hints about the possibility of a meeting, take the initiative.

  • If the person is busy that day, suggest another time. It’s also important to understand if he’s hinting to you that he doesn’t want a meeting. For example, if you offer to go bowling on Friday, but the person is busy, ask, “How about next weekend?” If he turns out to be busy again, just say, “Okay, then tell me yourself when you have some free time!”

How to Choose an Activity for a Date

If you both like sports, suggest going for a run after school or attending a handball game.

If you’re worried you won’t have much to talk about, go to a movie. This way you don’t have to look for topics to fill awkward pauses.

If you want to get to know each other, then offer to have dinner or coffee so you have a chance to talk one-on-one.

If you like a competitive spirit, suggest a game of bowling, paintball or billiards.

What to do if I fell in love: signs, tips from a psychologist

Often girls fall in love with guys who consciously or deliberately do not show interest in them, do not notice or ignore sympathy. Feelings overflowing inside, do not give a quiet existence. And if a part of the beautiful half of humanity does not leave attempts to attract her lover, the other – read the literature in search of an answer to the question, what should I do if I fall in love very much. Falling in love is a wonderful feeling if it brings positivity and makes you become a better person. If it fills your existence with disappointment – you should think about the right behavior so as not to fall into a prolonged depression.

What should I do if I’ve fallen in love?

Love is a strong release of hormones, experiences comparable to riding at speed, with stress and emotional turmoil. You feel elated and depressed at the same time, depend on the other person’s mood, don’t sleep at night, are immersed in dreams, you are overcome with jealousy, outbursts of anger or tenderness.

Of course, every love story is unique and individual. There are cases where girls face unequal social relationships, with men much older or, conversely, younger, with married or busy options. The specifics of sympathy determine the plan of action. There are a few tips on how to resist in any of these situations.

Acknowledge the feeling, let it be

Do not deny your attraction and try to appease the surging emotions. Cry if necessary, scream or jump, but admit your fiasco in front of the attraction. You will immediately calm down by accepting the problem. Start to find the positives in the situation. After all, falling in love isn’t always scary.

Look at your feelings in terms of chemistry

The hormone phenylethylamine is responsible for falling in love. It gives a feeling of activity, emotional satisfaction, accelerates all processes in the body, but reducing the desire to eat, drink and sleep.

The love hormone norepinephrine speeds up breathing and heartbeat. It makes you blush and sweat in the presence of the object of adoration and even at the thought of it.

Dopamine is the hormone of intense desire and obsession. Don’t be surprised when lovers have increased muscle tone, accelerated blood flow through the blood vessels, and a stronger heartbeat.

Serotonin and endorphins are produced when communicating with your chosen one. This is happiness and pleasure from being around. If these hormones outside of emerged love are not often produced in your life – then the tender feeling may bring pain and sadness, instead of the usual mood and positivity.

Don’t run after him.

Remember that a man is more likely to be interested in a lady who needs to be courted, who is worth pursuing. Certainly he will appreciate your care, warmth and obsession with his person, but not for long. He will be sad and will go to win the heart of another. Be interesting for the guy, show character and don’t run around satisfying his wants and needs.

Examine his behavior carefully to understand his

Analyze the object of admiration, perhaps he has also been in love for a long time, but is afraid to admit it:

  • Does the man, in your opinion, behave foolishly, speak inappropriately, take a long time to form a thought? The storm inside him keeps him from focusing on a certain topic. He’s confused, he doesn’t know if he’ll come up with an answer that satisfies you. It makes him seem confused and a little inadequate.
  • He is insanely happy to be a helper. Without thinking twice, he will come running to the rescue. He wants to be a savior, a hero, especially at the stage when you are not yet his “legal property” and can slip away to another at any time.
  • The young man tries to get your attention. He laughs loudly in your presence, telling jokes and interesting stories if you approach his company. He will make sure someone tells you about his coolness and humor. Like any male he will want to look presentable in the eyes of the female. At the sight of her, he squares his shoulders, fixes his hair and clothes. All this indicates affectionate feelings.
  • The man is constantly around, as if by chance. That he was in passing in your yard, then came into the store where you go shopping every night, confused you in the phone book and sent a text by mistake. When these instances are noticeably more frequent, it’s likely that the guy just wants to be around. Sometimes he has to put a lot of effort and put off his business to get in your way, he’s willing to make those sacrifices.
  • The chosen one tries to be positive and tries to make you laugh. It is unlikely that you will be indifferent to a man who makes you smile sincerely.

All these signs indicate the feelings born in the young man. It is necessary to be attentive to them. It is not necessary to embolden yourself with false expectations ahead of time. Real love you will not be able not to notice.

Choosing the right tactics

The main thing to do when you fall in love is to remain calm and in behavior do not give out anxiety. You need to be careful to find out information about the person that interests you. After delving into a few stories from his life, it may well turn out that this is not your prince.

  • Do not necessarily collect data alone – ask your girlfriends, ask his friends. It is possible to gather information without causing suspicion in the chosen one.
  • Men are not endowed with cunning, so skillfully manipulate, talk innuendo and hide the attraction is almost impossible. If he is sympathetic to you – he will be confused, studying you.
  • Another way to find out if he likes you is to arrange a chance meeting. Maybe he’s going to the movies or working out at a gym nearby. Casually find yourself standing next to him. And the next date will be official.

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How not to become a slave in love.

Love is a beautiful feeling filled with deep meaning. It often turns out to be insidious, completely capturing our minds and forcing us to commit inappropriate acts. In love, a girl becomes totally dependent on his chosen one, his mood, his behavior. Meetings and conversations, even if fleeting, take on a special meaning for her. She tries to please the man, to please him, even to his detriment.

These tactics leads to a complete loss of self. Man feels his need and superiority, he becomes bored, and he loses interest. To prevent this from happening, you should not be obtrusive, too malleable and courteous. Men are hunters, they like it when there is a mystery in a girl, when she has to be conquered, when she is beautiful, interesting, witty. If you’ve got him hooked, he’s sure to show up in your field of vision. I will help you choose the right behavior and not to alienate the other half, to do this, sign up for my consultation now. You will find emotional balance and happiness beyond any doubt.

What to do if I’m in love: behavior.

There are a few rules, following which will not dissolve in the vortex of love:

  • You should not lose yourself. Be self-sufficient, develop yourself, do not give up your hobbies. Do not forget and do not change your goals. If you have a lover in your life, it does not mean that she has to radically change her route.
  • If other members of the stronger sex give you signs of attention – do not push them away. As long as the relationship is at the stage of several meetings, you can not be sure of their happy outcome. And rivals will make you jealous and wonder if he’s that good.
  • Tune in with a positive attitude. Even if the relationship is not going the way you wanted, do not get depressed and do not give up other pleasures. Watch comedies, go to a cafe with friends, read exciting books. Don’t let disappointments occupy your heart.
  • The initiative to start a relationship should come from the young man. Do not fuss, and give him the right to vote and choose.

What to do if the situation is a little more complicated

We are not always able to love the right person. Sometimes it happens that relationships become complicated and confusing. This happens if you meet a person with an intolerable character, a married man, a colleague, fell in love with a friend’s boyfriend. Then there is a dilemma: what to do next, to keep silent, to keep feelings to themselves, or dare to tell all about his happiness. There is no simple answer to this question. You need to think about the situation.

If the object of passion is a colleague. Facing each other for almost a week, you may be embarrassed. Direct confession will be superfluous, misunderstood by neither a partner nor the working team, as well as too obvious hints.

  • Take advantage of corporate parties to get to know each other better;
  • Look for opportunities to organize a business trip or project together;
  • Don’t compete with him, showing that you’re smarter or faster;
  • Try to look neat and act casual, be the soul of the team;
  • smile more often.

Do not take it personally that falling in love can be unrequited, go boldly to a breakup if something went wrong. Take all problems as an invaluable experience on the road to true love.

Is there reciprocity

The first thing to do if you fall in love – to understand whether your feelings will be mutual. To do this you must either dare to take a desperate step and confess or wait until your chosen one will show interest. I advise you to prefer the second option. This will protect you from unnecessary stress and help you better understand each other. It is not necessary to rush things and scare him sharp confessions.

What to do if the man is married

If the man you like is already married – the best idea will be to turn away from an affair with such a man. This will save your psyche and not destroy his family. Every girl wants to be the only and favorite. In rare cases, a representative of the stronger sex is ready to leave his wife and go to all the trouble with the unknown girl. The process of his divorce can take years, during which he will feed you promises and live on two sides. It will seem to you that you are in second place.

Keep in mind that often such a crush arises from the lack of male attention, a long lack of intimacy and a desire to prove that any man will go to you, but not because it is the love of his life. Evaluate adequately and soberly, how acceptable to you this option.

What to do if I fell in love with a friend

This happens if you communicate for a long time, spend a lot of time together and one fine morning you realize that the connection for you is much more than just friendship. It would seem that what could be easier than to confess their feelings to the person with whom they have communicated so well. Many are afraid that they will not reciprocate, and, in fact, the friendship will be threatened and come to naught.

Do not jump to conclusions and confessions. You have a huge advantage over the other fair sex – you know well his hobbies and interests. It is necessary to choose a tactic of behavior in which your friend will look at you from a different angle. Change your hair, clothing style, choose to meet with him as if you were going on a date, arrange a trip to the movies for a movie about love, or arrange a candlelight dinner. Perhaps, if he is a flame of sympathy, he will notice in you a beautiful girl and himself will declare his love.

Another option – unobtrusively tell him that you fell in love with a good person, but do not specify who. Interested friend will show interest and begin to find out who it is, to show jealousy and try to talk you out of it.

How to behave properly

If you fell in love, try not to show it to others and even more refrain from loud confessions to friends or colleagues. Show interest in the elected one so that he did not go beyond the boundaries of the permitted, especially if you work together, go in for sports in a common team or study at the same school. If you fail, it can provoke ridicule and talk behind your back, at worst – the anger of your superiors or contempt of your acquaintances.

Difficulties in creating a relationship

What if a person fell in love with someone who is not suitable for his age? Such a relationship causes disapproval of the environment, ridicule, bullying. Listen only to your heart and do not be guided by the opinions of envious people, do not pay attention to gossip.

Love for a married guy also causes negativity. This is the suffering of a young man who does not know how to leave the family, and your worries, and the grief of his loved ones. You should not break up someone else’s marriage intentionally. If a man has real feelings for you, he will find the strength to first put a stop to the previous relationship, and then win your heart. Remember that a love triangle does not bring happiness to its participants.

Relationships with a busy man in society are considered immoral, so be prepared for condemnation from outside. And do not forget that just as he left his mistress, he may leave you.

If your partner is selfish and too fixated on his person, it is unlikely he will be able to give you happiness. Such a relationship exhausts both and eventually break up. It’s better to wean yourself off in the beginning and forget the narcissist.

If you do fall in love – try to have patience. It is not always appropriate to demonstrate their feelings. Do not be upset. Before meeting with his chosen one you have their own goals, plans, aspirations. Do not throw them. Appearance in your heart a wonderful feeling should not lead to disappointment, pain and depression. Carefully get to know the man and unobtrusively try to hint about his sympathy. Perhaps you are exactly what he was looking for all his life.

In difficult situations, there is a sense of hopelessness and despair. The most effective way is personal counseling.

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