How to behave when you love a man: 10 tips for falling in love properly
Relationships between the sexes is a serious thing and not always the easiest. Man and woman are like representatives of two different planets that do not understand each other’s language at all. You fell in love with the guy with all your heart, but you do not know how to show him your feelings? With this you do not always have to rush.
Sometimes a man is very easy to scare the wrong behavior. And in that case to prove to him the purity of their intentions will be very problematic.
To between you there is no misunderstanding, there are certain standards of behavior of a woman in love, which should always keep in mind. If feelings start to prevail over reason, think than it may result in such an oversight.
Why men are afraid of girls in love
You probably have noticed more than once in your life that the guys do not always respond to the ardent recognition of the opposite sex with joyful reciprocity. And there are several very good and valid reasons:
- You are not his type.
Sadly, this is usually the real reason behind most refusals of a romantic relationship with a woman who shows signs of attention. More often than not, a man out of politeness cannot say such things directly, especially if you have known each other for a long time as colleagues or friends.
Therefore, too obvious activity can scare him off at all.
- Interference in personal life.
Some women act as if the guy is already their permanent partner even before they agree to the relationship. This is one of the typical mistakes of heavily in love ladies.
Such behavior is not only disliked, but frankly frightens most adequate men who highly value their independence and abstraction. So before you hang onto his neck and kiss him in public, think about whether he is ready for this at all.
How to properly love a man?
- Fear of a serious relationship.
Another typical reason for fear that a woman will start to show active and persistent attention. Let’s just say that right now a man is not ready to court or to live together at all.
This can be for completely different reasons: the recent painful parting with his girlfriend, stressful moments in his career, difficulties in his studies, problems at home, etc. So he is unlikely to be happy with your fantasies about a white dress, a lavish wedding, a half life mortgage and the birth of three children.
- Excessive emotionality.
Almost all women are guilty of that. The nature of the fair sex is such that any emotion is literally bubbling inside them and bursting out. But men are the complete opposite. Most often, they are cold-blooded and are guided only by rational impulses.
Therefore, the sensual pressure of women can really scare the guy. He may think that in a relationship with you will be very difficult, because every situation will cause a storm of emotions that will have to hurriedly pack up and run, until the frying pan flew to the head.
- A secret crush on another.
Yes, we shouldn’t forget that fact either. A man may not talk about such an intimate circumstance. But if his heart is already occupied, it will be difficult to displace the image of another girl, even when she does not reciprocate the cavalier. So in this case, a manifestation of love may be unnecessary.
- Your own complexes.
And this is a whole separate topic. For example, a man may think that he is not worthy of a pretty girl. Or begin to look for a secret catch (bad joke, self-interest, a desire to make a fool of him).
Low self-esteem in general sometimes does not allow you to adequately perceive the fact that some girl is in love with him. Therefore, such a guy can really start to shun you in this case.
How to behave so as not to scare away a man
In today’s world, a girl should be able to show initiative and at the right time show her attitude towards the guy. Because in recent times, it is the fair sex that refers to the dominant in terms of psycho-emotional impact on people.
So, here are some tips to help avoid common mistakes and allow you to show your feelings to a man without scaring him away:
- Do not put pressure on pity.
Don’t tell long and tedious stories about former failed relationships and what a radish your previous boyfriend turned out to be. New man just might feel like a vest or zafrendzonnenom fellow, which except for the constant comfort of drunken lady tantrums and nothing else and does not shine.
- Become a good conversationalist.
This is very important. Every girl in love, if she wants to smoothly switch the guy’s attention to herself, should, first of all, become his friend. Do not pretend that you do not care what movie he saw last weekend.
And devaluing your hobbies or interests in terms of music – even the last thing. After that, all attempts to make contact will inevitably fail.
- Keep the tone of the conversation and skillfully use humor.
Do not make a languid or sour face, when the man tells some funny story. Learn to adjust to the dialogue. After all, it really can be interesting. And why would you even want a partner with whom you don’t even have anything to talk to.
Besides, good cheerful humor can conquer absolutely any heart. This is even psychologically true. After all, people tend to be with those who lift their spirits and make life more colorful. And there are enough gloomy shades in it as it is.
- Flirtation and flirting should be unobtrusive.
Do not repeat gestures and facial expressions, you look up somewhere in erotic or melodramatic films. Behave naturally and learn to elegantly shoot the eyes.
Many men today are very afraid to run into mercenary women. So the manifestation of feelings for them means only one thing – she wants something from me. Even if it is true, do not be in a hurry to dump everything on a potential suitor at once. Be subtle and do not require a huge bouquet and fancy restaurants from the first days of acquaintance.
- Give up the demonstrative helplessness.
It’s only in books girls dumbasses cause a man’s desire to take care of them. If you really like a guy and want to start dating him, do not play the child.
- Show a commonality of interests.
This is what brings people together as a couple from the very first days of dialogue. If he likes paintings by modern impressionists, suggest that he go to the exhibition. When your lover happens to be a rock music fan, the best way to get closer is to attend a concert together.
But do not forget that you, too, all this should be interesting. Otherwise, the deception sooner or later will be revealed and will not lead to anything good. Yes, and it is not very pleasant to be there, where frankly boring.
It is necessary to keep in the middle. To run after a man and not give him a pass – means to show him that you will have a lot of problems already at the initial stage of acquaintance. Hiding is also not necessary. Show interest, but do not go into hype.
- Jealousy is the worst ally in the beginning of a relationship.
While you’re just starting to communicate, give up your bouts of possessiveness. This is the first thing men pay attention to, as they can’t stand scandals and are not going to be on a short leash for the rest of their lives.
- No vulgarity.
If you want a relationship more than once, pay attention to your image. If it resembles the style of the main characters in adult films, in such a form to show his love for a man should not. Otherwise, he simply will not so understand everything.
Butterflies in the stomach and romantic experiences – this, of course, all very nice and beautiful. But his feelings need to properly present. Otherwise, the object of passion simply be afraid to get close.
What if I love him, and he does not love me?
When you love a guy and he does not, then you visited the unrequited love. Unrequited feelings for another person often brings suffering that lasts a long time. However, unrequited love has another side to the coin – it gives motivation to become a better person, to carry out some work on the mistakes associated with his character, clothing style and manners. Consequently, such a situation can be used for your own good, and here is how exactly to change the situation by the other side, we will tell you in today’s our article. This publication will consist of two parts: the first part will tell you how to change, and the second part will give you examples of how to forget a young man, even if you love him very much.
If you are very much in love with a guy, and you can’t help thinking about him, then just tell him about it, if not directly, then in correspondence or by giving him a non-double hint. This way you won’t have to “reinvent the wheel”: it might give him a reason to pay attention to you or you’ll realize right away that you have no future with him.
Part 1. Changing Yourself
If you really love a guy and want to get his love, then you can change yourself, no matter how difficult it seems. Of course, first you need to find out what type of girl he likes. Be attentive: study him, which girls he pays more attention to and which ones less, and then compare what the first type of girl differs from the second one. Use all the information you know (height, weight, age, how long you’ve known her, hair color, personality, manners, clothing style, even the smell of perfume). The more you know about a guy’s preferences, the easier it will be to turn into the girl of his dreams.
Change Your Appearance. A change of appearance is one of the most effective ways to attract men, because you may have an angelic soul, a wonderful character and no bad habits, but an inconspicuous appearance will not give an opportunity to open up to a man. You can change your makeup to be more expressive, to make men look back at you, or you can dye your hair a different color, preferably a radically new color. For example, blonde, turned brunette will cause a lot of controversy and discussion. Be original, if your choice falls on the red color, redheads attract the attention of men. When choosing a new hair color you must remember that the new color should be to your face and emphasize your advantages, otherwise you will not be able to attract proper attention to his person, and only cause ridicule in your address. Girls who are overweight would do well to get rid of extra pounds and centimeters, and how to do this at home, read our yesterday’s article: how to lose weight at home!
A change in appearance can be aimed not only at attracting attention, by giving it a brighter look, but sometimes, on the contrary, you should slightly “simplify” makeup, so that the man does not feel uncomfortable or ashamed of you, being in the same company. In case you look like a Barbie doll, and your object of lust does not pay any attention to you, then perhaps he simply considers himself unworthy of you, thinking that you will refuse him 100%, if he shows his sympathy to you, or vice versa – that this type of girl does not suit him.
Change your style. The second point is quite closely intertwined with the appearance of the girl. A style change, as well as her appearance, can dramatically change the opinion of others about you. As a rule, in most cases, the style should go in the direction of femininity, sophistication and attention to detail. In the understanding of any man, a woman, in the first place – is a weak and gentle creature, an angel, which should be taken care of, care, help and surround with attention. Wearing stilettos, you once again cause a man to woo you, for example, when you go down the stairs or get out of the car / bus, etc. Again, when changing your style, be sure it suits you. Before showing up to your man you love, ask good friends for advice, or better yet, contact a stylist. The right style of clothing will emphasize your strengths and hide your weaknesses. If you have a beautiful chest, legs or buttocks – do not be afraid to emphasize it, especially now, when it comes to your future. Sometimes it is difficult to find the right image that suits you. In such cases, as mentioned earlier, you should contact a stylist. Girlfriends, who have good taste, will not be able to help you in this matter, because the elementary female envy can play here.
It’s time to change your manners. Sometimes the reason for the lack of attention from a man is the wrong manners that are alien to your chosen one. Here you will especially help to observe those girls who are impressed with the guy. It may turn out that he does not like too “proper” girls who behave like English ladies, but it can be the opposite – a guy disgusted to communicate with girls who are called in society “patsankami” or “louts”. If you do not clearly understand what manners you should have to please the man, then stick to the norm in everything: depending on the case be vulnerable-woman, manly-courageous, cheerful-exploited, etc.
It’s time to change character! When you have changed yourself according to all of the above items, but the result is not very comforting, and you are still not in love (and even without hints of it), then into course comes the “heavy artillery” – change your character. This process is quite lengthy, because to change yourself is not a minute thing, as in the case with the appearance or style, but it is possible. It will take you days, weeks, maybe months. The difficulty is as follows. First, you need to know exactly what is lacking in your character (persistence, openness, honesty, consistency, reliability, loyalty, etc.). Secondly, you have to have willpower, so you won’t quit halfway through. If you love your boyfriend, and he has started to treat you with coolness – perhaps this is the point in the relationship. Try to return the old feelings, and the first thing you should pay attention to is your character. Find faults in it, get rid of them, and only then take up your appearance, because a new hairstyle or updated closet can again attract the attention of a young man who once loved you.
Change the level of access to yourself. Let’s move on to the next, even more radical method. Sometimes the absence of any feelings associated with a girl’s unwillingness to open up to a man – she is too constrained and inaccessible. This manifests itself in different ways, sometimes a man is forbidden even to hug and kiss a girl (not to mention sex), even though they may have been dating for several days/weeks/months. Such girls’ principles lead guys to think that they don’t love him, don’t want him, and aren’t interested in him as a man. Any feelings can get cold because of this girl’s behavior. Try to be a little more available to this man, give him a free hand and maybe then feelings for you will flare up in him.
Another, no less frequent case is when a girl allows a man a little extra, he feels his power – and she allows him everything, always and everywhere. Yes, sometimes such vulgarity attracts the attention of men, but the prolonged “sweetness” quickly becomes luscious. In this case, you should play with your object of lust in the so-called game “Cats, mice!” From now on, a kiss, a hug, and even more so sex, a man will have to achieve. It is worth the risk, because in any case you lose nothing, if feelings have cooled down, sooner or later he will leave you, and here is such a game you can shake up the desire to achieve you man. Flirt with his friends. If the guy in you still do not reciprocate, then start flirting with his friends and his eyes. Why is this point as a last resort and it can not be used before? Because if the reason lies in the above facts, then you can only make things worse, not fix it. Because seeing a pretty girl flirting is very jealous for men, even if it’s someone else’s girl who doesn’t like it one bit, but why this flirting is not directed at him. In addition, by flirting, you can show yourself in a way that he has not yet seen you, which can be beneficial for the establishment and development of your relationship.
Before you do all that, think: Is it worth it to change and become “unnatural to yourself”! Why?!? Because there may be a guy out there who will love you just the way you are…
Part 2. Forgetting him
Unfortunately, not all attempts to ignite the love of men are not successful. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that this is not the man with whom you are destined to go through life, and therefore, he must be forgotten and let go. However, do not forget that you should forget only if you have done everything to fall in love with a guy. Otherwise you may later regret that you did not make an attempt, and most importantly – you have not changed yourself for the better when you had the opportunity and motivation. So, let’s imagine the situation: nothing works, your love is unrequited, and this means that the fear of separation creeps closer. What to do!
Talk it out! The first thing you should do now – it’s to let it out, and pry on the shoulder need not only friends who will understand and support in a difficult moment, but also to talk personally about the relationship with your boyfriend (if courage enough). Say everything that you think about him, tell him about the feelings you had, the anguish you went through, and of course, about the feats and achievements you made for him. You must not keep these thoughts to yourself, because they will eat you up from the inside, bringing you pain and suffering. Saying them out loud, and several times, you will feel a great relief, as if a mountain has fallen from your shoulders. Get advice and support from friends, which will help you to look at the world in a more positive way. Express your reproaches to your friends, get mad at him, and it will help you to realize that the man is just not worthy of a girl like you. And from now on, you will hardly want to remember that once you were crazy about such a guy.
Destroy all things that remind you of him. The second step in an unrequited love should be to destroy all the things that may remind you of him: photos, gifts, postcards, correspondence history, the Friendzone and other small things. Be honest with yourself, you should not leave even little things, otherwise they will oppress you unnecessary memories of unrequited love.
Don’t drag it out. Another very helpful tip is not to hope that things can work out. If you drag the rubber band out, the pain of the breakup will only get worse. This event should end as abruptly as cutting wires. But it will be over quickly and painlessly. Move into a new phase of your life where there is no room for suffering and tears. And fill this first new leaf of your life with neat and beautiful handwriting…
Find another man. One of the easiest ways to get over your past boyfriend is to find a new one. This may seem like an impossible burden, because there will be no desire to build a new relationship, mostly due to the fear of being cheated on and abandoned again. But this must be overcome!
Find hobbies. Hobbies and hobbies will help you forget about unrequited love, but they should be active and have both physical and mental load. For example, playing bowling, tennis, hiking, etc. with friends.
Go on vacation/vacation/to your family. Another good way to “forget yourself” is to change your place of residence. If you rented an apartment together and are now alone in it, it is advisable to change it, otherwise the memories will consume you. If it didn’t come to a relationship, just move (at least temporarily) to another city or country where you won’t have any common places or people you know. If there is no possibility to do it now, then accomplish this task in the near future, when you will be on vacation or on vacation (if you are still studying). You don’t have to go to the sea or abroad, you can go to the country house or stay with your relatives in another city.
Accept, forgive and let go. When love is gone, it’s hard to think soberly and rationally, but believe me – after a year, you will remember this period with a smile and not even understand why, and most importantly, why you cried. So now it is important for you to accept this event as it is, to forgive this man (who could not love you) and to let go of love. Trust fate, which will be favorable to those who move on.
See a therapist. In extremely difficult situations, when simple advice does not help and does not work, and your moral well-being does not improve (you often cry, do not want to eat, go out and constantly thinking about him, etc.) and begin to visit the thoughts of the end of life – urgently seek help from a specialist. The best assistant in this case will be a psychotherapist, who can easily pull you out of this abyss of terrible events and unrequited love.
Sex and chocolate. And by tradition, at the end of our article we will give the nicest and most effective advice about what to do in a situation where you have become a victim of unrequited love: have sex with nice, handsome, even if not beloved guys, and eat more chocolate. Both will bring you great pleasure, which, at least for a while, but will help you forget about the problems on the love front. And finally, the motto of many girls and women who have had a similar situation:
Let those who didn’t get us cry, let all those who didn’t want us die!