What to do if you fall in love with a boy?
What to do if you fall in love with a guy younger than you? Relationship with a younger man
Women are constantly faced with various difficulties in their personal lives: sometimes it is just a problem in choosing a man, and sometimes in creating a happy family. For the couple to be harmonious, its participants must sometimes make concessions, understand the interests and principles of the other person and his desires. But sometimes it happens that the difficulty is in the age.
Women are often faced with the fact that they fall in love with young guys who differ not only in age, but also in outlook. Of course, we are talking about single women, not those who want to have an affair in secret from her husband. In order to start a serious relationship with a young guy, it is important to understand some of the nuances, so that this union was as successful as possible. Of course, a couple of years will not play a role and will not be noticed neither by the young man, nor by you, but what if there is a 10 or even 15 years difference? Here we need to understand the situation.
The main reasons for a woman’s sympathy for young guys
1. The desire to take care . Women often want to take care of someone, and if there is no child, this love must be directed to someone else. Often older men like to show maximum authoritarianism themselves and dictate their rules, a young guy, on the other hand, will be happy to accept care and tenderness. Women take great pleasure in a relationship with a man who allows her to feel like a loving mother.
2. Lack of romance . It is the young guy who is not spoiled by harsh reality that can show himself to be a true romantic, something that women lack. Men who have been in long-term relationships or even married tend to believe that romance is only needed in the movies, and life is arranged quite differently. Women want to remember their youth, to plunge back into the carelessness and carelessness that is inherent only in young guys. A new romance with a young guy helps to feel wanted, young and loved, which few men can give.
An exclusive love for young members of the stronger sex. It also happens that women all their lives are looking for a companion for a short period of time, so that there will always be a fit, young and handsome man. These women know how to really fall in love and give himself completely to the man to whom he felt feelings. The man also has to understand that he will not be of interest to her in a couple of decades, because she appreciates youth in all its manifestations. Such a woman always tries to look great, because she needs to match the new young chosen one. She often goes to the gym, makes rejuvenating procedures and eats right food, so that her body remains firm, young and sexy.
4. Hope for a happy marriage . Not always the attraction to young men is due to selfish purposes. Sometimes the fair sex does not lose hope of marrying an attractive young man who has really become an object of adoration. Sincere love can manifest itself to someone who will appreciate and understand it, and if it turns out to be a young guy, it’s just a coincidence.
The disadvantages of a relationship with a man who is much younger than you
– There is a small percentage of probability that the relationship will end in marriage. Women should be well aware that age differences often play an important role in starting a family. Sometimes young people are just not ready for a long-term relationship or even marriage. Of course, there are cases-exceptions when a guy is in love and is ready to live with a woman for the rest of his life, but this is quite rare. Most often such relationships last a short time and end in quarrels and scandals.
– Condemnation of family and friends. No matter how stubbornly a woman claims that she is not interested in public opinion, sooner or later it can hurt her self-esteem. People around her tend to believe that they know more about the situation and that they are entitled to advice. Psychological abuse and bullying are not uncommon and can lead to the breakup of a relationship. Only the strongest and most independent women can proudly go through this without paying attention to minutiae. But can your young man withstand the social condemnation? That’s the problem.
– The constant need to be on par with your partner . A woman who is considerably older than her lover must invest heavily in her appearance to match him. She should know the art of age makeup, know how to communicate with young people, share his interests and keep her body firm and sexy. Such a representative of the fair sex should understand that there will always be competition among young girls, his lover’s peers.
– Lover’s inexperience . This applies both to intimate life and to the ability to earn money and create his own life. A young guy will be interested in his hobbies, spend time in nightclubs, and is unlikely to want to go to work for the sake of a new lover. Unlike a mature adult woman, he has little experience with sex and can sometimes seem inept. However, some women believe that this can even be a plus.
Tips for those who have decided to build a happy personal life with a young guy
– In no case do not put the emphasis on the fact that you are older and you are more visible, because it can significantly hurt the male self-esteem. – Try to buy clothes and underwear that will emphasize your attractiveness and sexuality. A young guy needs to realize that his chosen one is as attractive as his peers.
– Allow him to dominate. Here we should start from the natural desire of men to feel superior in a couple, so give him the opportunity. – Learn to appreciate the quality of the person, not its appearance. Youth – a temporary concept, and if you really love the guy, you are doomed to happiness. Learn to find the positive aspects in his character, attitude towards you and intelligence. – Watch out for those with whom he communicates and does not intrigue on the side. Young members of the stronger sex tend to compare, so he may be attracted to women his age. Try to control the situation and protect him from competitors.
– We recommend to visit our section with interesting materials on similar subjects “Psychology of relationships
The information on this site is subject to consultation with the attending physician and does not replace a face-to-face consultation with him. See more in the user agreement.
What to do if you fall in love with a guy: the symptoms of love and expert advice
If you fall in love with a guy, then it is important to accept it and calm down, and then think about what to do with your love. Even a non-reciprocal feeling can be useful. Love hormones make a person more energetic, courageous and purposeful. People in love have created masterpieces and conquered peaks that seemed impregnable.
Symptoms of falling in love in girls
It seems to a girl that she was lucky to meet a prince. But sympathy can be confused with falling in love. A guy is just cute to a girl if:
- The beauty, hairstyle and clothing style of the chosen one is most admired.
- There are several attractive qualities in him.
- The girl tries to be close to the object of adoration, thinks a lot about him, and after a few weeks does not pay attention to the one who drove her crazy. A new handsome man appears, and the girl switches to him.
If the feelings do not go away after months or years, then it is love. Peculiarities of such a state:
- The girl wants to approach, but is afraid.
- When the guy’s name is heard, the person in love smiles, embarrassed. Those around her may notice before she does that she is in love.
- Unreasonably good mood, wants to help everyone. Irritating things are not noticed.
- Jealousy arises as soon as she speaks to her beloved.
- All thoughts only about your beloved (they appear even in dreams).
- A desire to look better and dress more smartly arises. Images are carefully chosen to be noticed by the lover.
- The lover spends a lot of time learning about the interests and character of the chosen one.
- The guy seems perfect, even if he does not behave perfectly.
What to do when feelings arise
When strongly in love, you want to see only the chosen one. But not to ruin your fate, you have to be careful.
All lovers will come in handy universal memo. After realizing their feelings, act in stages:
- Humble themselves with it, allow themselves to get over it. Attempts to overcome falling in love are rarely successful. It is more effective to “get over it” and move on. The more actively one tries to forget, the more excruciating it is to love. Humility is soothing.
- They study love as a scientific phenomenon. A lover’s body produces hormones that create intense experiences. Thanks to phenylethylamine, a person feels emotional satisfaction and becomes more agile. Norepinephrine makes the heart rate and breathing faster, increases perspiration (if a loved one is around). Dopamine is responsible for the obsession with a person, the desire to be with him. This substance affects muscle tone, vascular activity, heart function. Endorphins are the hormones of pleasure from interaction with the guy you love. If your own happiness hormones are hardly released, because a person rarely enjoys life, then falling in love will bring suffering, because the person will be afraid to lose the only source of this substance.
- After calming down, one evaluates the situation rationally. Forbid yourself to run after your chosen one, because you can only scare him away. Guys are hunters, who are not interested in a submissive “prey”. Worth flirting, being mysterious and a little unapproachable.
- Consider the behavior of the chosen one, trying to understand him. The feeling can be mutual. In this case, the young man will behave awkwardly, act strangely. He will gladly do a favor and make jokes, just to see his beloved laughing.
If it is a classmate
If a teenage girl has fallen in love with a cute boy, you should not take the first tender feelings lightly. Age is not important. Happy is the one who recalls his first love with quiet joy and warmth. To make your loved one reciprocate, it is worth listening to advice:
- He will like the activity, sociability of the girl. It is worth to participate in the life of the school and class, organize holidays and help friends. He will notice the goal-oriented cheerful girl.
- You can get close to a classmate, but do not pursue, do not be intrusive. It is better to share his hobbies (attend the same sections). There will be common topics and the opportunity to talk privately.
- It is worth to see each other in your free time (virtual meetings, city events).
- The lover will like grooming, femininity.
- Most boys with smoking and drinking girlfriends only socialize. They meet with feminine and reserved ladies.
- You can occasionally take the initiative (invite to go for a walk, write first). It is important not to scare away your beloved.
If he is married
Communication with a married partner can last for years. Beloved promises to divorce, but to fulfill a promise in no hurry and remains with two partners. He is satisfied with the presence of family and another sexual girlfriend. Mistress at this time lives an incomplete life, being in a state of waiting. The man comes when there is time, vacations, holidays, and weekends to spend with his wife and child.
He sees that the mistress is willing to endure, so he does not change anything. This is the psychology of most cheaters.
It is worth thinking about your own desires. It is possible to imagine the lover in detail as a legitimate spouse. It is recommended to fantasize how he is around on a daily basis. Think about what his household habits are and think about the real character of the potential husband, because with a mistress he becomes gallant, caring and romantic, and with his wife he does not need to pretend.
It is better to determine for yourself how long you can wait for his separation from his wife. You can choose an exact date. The issue should be discussed with your beloved, avoiding quarrels and conversations in high tones. If he does not do anything, then you will have to accept his role or try to forget him. To do this, stop dating, do not engage in correspondence, work, hobbies, appearance. You can plan for the future, imagine yourself married to “your” man, who will not have to share with his family.
If he loves someone else
Thinking about what to do if you have fallen in love, it is worth considering the consequences of interfering in someone else’s relationship. The most likely versions:
- The guy will take aggressively attempts to flirt with him. He will not like the cavalier behavior of the acquaintance. This can ruin the friendship with his lover or the guy will not notice the flirting.
- He will be able to seduce, but there will be no trust in the new couple, because the chosen one easily abandoned his ex. The thought of someone else’s ruined happiness can haunt you for a long time.
It is better to limit contacts with this couple, so all parties will be calmer. But if the forces are not enough, then you can become a friend. The connection should be sincere, unselfish. Do not imagine that gradually the guy will fall in love with his girlfriend and leave the other half. It is better to find real mutual feelings.
If it is a teacher
Often young girls call love an ordinary infatuation. Psychologists believe that this affection occurs when:
- The girl’s upbringing was not handled by her father (needs male support).
- The girl suffers from teenage complexes (she does not believe in her worthiness among her peers, so she is looking for a wiser and more understanding man).
- She is driven by the need to assert herself (the attention of an authoritative adult is good for this).
Most often, falling in love with a teacher is due to the fact that the child is deprived of the attention of relatives. The girl should direct her feelings in a positive direction (learn the subject of her favorite teacher, try her best in classes, work additionally). You can explore other areas that the man is interested in (sports, music). Love will become a motivation for self-development. An organized, successful and athletic girl a man will definitely notice.
You can confess your feelings to the teacher, but you need to remember about the criminal responsibility for a relationship with a teenager and the possible dismissal of your beloved, the disapproval of colleagues. It is important to prepare for rejection, to accept this answer calmly and with understanding. It is not worth pursuing the object of sympathy in social networks.
If he is significantly older
There is nothing wrong in such a relationship, if both agree with it. But when one partner considers the connection forbidden – this is the first step to ending it. If a man sees his girlfriend as a little girl, then she gives a reason to think so. It is worth working on the manner of speaking, to think about their actions. A mature man wants to be with a mature person (brave, independent, strong).
If a girl has to put on a mask of maturity, then one day the image will be destroyed. It is worth taking into account the partner’s social circle, his lifestyle. A girl can get bored of the measured rhythm and adult company. It is necessary to clarify with your beloved, what kind of connection he is counting on: a temporary flirtation or a serious relationship. Only by honestly finding this out, you can make a decision.
If the guy is much younger
Sometimes partners understand each other well. But often such couples face problems. To avoid them, a woman should consider the recommendations:
- You should not treat your lover with condescension. This will hurt the guy’s self-esteem.
- It is worth wearing outfits that emphasize female attractiveness. The young man will like to realize that his chosen one is not inferior to his peers.
- It is better to let the guy dominate.
- It is important to focus on the qualities of the loved one. Youth is a temporary condition. His character, mindset and feelings are important.
- The age difference becomes a source of complexes and jealousy. It is better to enjoy love, and not to torment yourself with suspicions.
The object of adoration – a celebrity
Romantic feelings for actors and singers are considered a painful fanaticism. But out of this crush can be a rewarding experience. Love motivates girls to change, to develop. A lofty goal to become a “star” in the field they love emerges. Girls study the lifestyle and tastes of the idol, expanding their horizons. There are negative sides: real guys seem boring, cease to attract. It’s hard to be attracted to an ordinary person after stormy feelings for a famous singer.
You can join fan groups and fanclubs of your idol. There will be an opportunity to see him during one of the meetings. In real communication the idol may be a complete stranger.
Mistakes that could ruin everything
A girl in love will have to become more active and decisive, take every chance, but avoid mistakes. You need to keep a balance between initiative and inaccessibility, perfect image and naturalness.
It is worthwhile to make friends with your beloved first. See each other, communicate, but do not impose or show your feelings. Obvious signs of attention can scare away a guy. The abundance of compliments and gifts from the girl is not to the liking of all men.
You should not play the role of a perfect girl. It is better that the loved one immediately saw different facets of her friend, because during the relationship a sudden change of image can disappoint the guy. It is necessary to look closely at his shortcomings. They are always there, just love prevents them from seeing.
How to act if the feelings are not reciprocal
Unrequited feeling – not a reason to resign and suffer. First we should deal with appearance and health. Tears and self-pity rarely like guys. You need to tell yourself that there is only happiness ahead, to go boldly into a joyful future. From this back straighten, the eyes light up, the gait becomes easier. You need to learn to be optimistic, smile and communicate in a friendly way. Guys are attracted to a cheerful disposition, sense of humor and friendliness. It is important to show these traits in the circle of communication elected, and to enter it, you can learn about the man’s hobbies.
If he is a sports fan, then it is worth going to his gym. He has a pet – it’s time to get a pet. On occasion, you can talk about the guy’s hobbies, show awareness in this area. After the first conversation you need to feed your lover’s interest.
Ungroomed and boringly dressed girls become girlfriends, not girlfriends. It is worth watching the neatness of the closet, choose stylish and charming things. The companion does not remain indifferent to external changes. He will see his girlfriend as a girl, not a sexless creature. A slight unapproachability will strengthen his feelings.
In order for love to bring happiness, you must first love yourself. A multifaceted personality with a rich life will be able to create a strong healthy union.