What to do if a man does not want a serious relationship, but also does not let go?

What to do if a man does not want a serious relationship, but also does not let go?

Some men behave like a dog in the hay. But what to do a woman who finds herself in such a situation?

The man does not want a serious relationship, but also does not let go. Doesn’t give any guarantees for “happily ever after”. But she should try to “tear myself away” from him, he immediately pulls her back, playing on her feelings and emotions with beautiful words. But there is still no real change. And the time goes by…

Why does he do this?

If a man doesn’t hold on and won’t let go, he’s just being nice. That’s what every woman in this situation needs to realize.

Yes, it hurts and it hurts. And if you get to the bottom of it, most likely your self-esteem will suffer. But I have a means to help a woman get her confidence back. So don’t be afraid to open your eyes and see the truth for what it is:

you play the role of an “alternate airfield”, where you can “fly in” if there are no other landing strips nearby;

you radiate fear of loneliness, the man feels it and just takes the opportunity;

it is convenient to wait for “the one, the only one” with you;

You are like a habit that no longer warms, but you do not need to work hard;

It’s unpleasant, I understand. But better the bitter truth and effective “treatment” than a lifetime of waiting and hoping, and then ending up at the broken trough. Don’t you agree?

So now I suggest you think about whether you need such a relationship, where you are just used?

In the meantime, I’ll tell you…

Why does a woman agree to this?

Man does not let go and does not hold, hands and feet rope does not bind. You seem to be free to decide, but for some reason you stay with him.

The illusion of “I’m not alone.” Perhaps you are so much afraid of being alone that you are willing to surrogate a relationship.

Unwillingness to take responsibility. Maybe you just feel comfortable shifting it to “this egoist,” the more so much attention from others in return.

Low self-esteem. Maybe you just think that you don’t deserve the best.

Fear of a serious relationship. Maybe in your past there were situations that do not allow you to willingly step into a relationship where much will depend on you.

Fear of judgment. Perhaps you fear that those around you will think something bad about you if you initiate a breakup.

Fear of loss. You may have gained something through this relationship that you are afraid to lose. For example, communication with some people who have become important to you. And now you’re worried that after the breakup they will stop communicating with you.

Is it possible to break up an “uncertain” relationship without consequences?

Yes, you can very well do it. Will there be consequences? It all depends on how you do it. I’ll tell you where to start. And the next steps you are perfectly capable of doing on your own.

Awareness. Start with it. What is important to you, and what is important to him? You want a strong union, a happy family, children? And the guy does not want a relationship, but also does not let you go in search of someone who can give you all this.

At this point, you should take care to break your emotional attachment to a man who doesn’t care about your plans and dreams. How to do this, I share in my video

Once the attachment is broken, you will have the energy to find your own way with the person who will help you fulfill your dreams.

Trust, but verify. Very often behind the loud phrases “I can’t live without you, but if you want, I’ll let you go”, there is the usual manipulation on emotions. So do not be in a hurry to believe the words when in fact the guy does not hold and do not let go. If he really doesn’t see life without you, let him make at least some effort to prove it.

Look at the actions. This point is directly derived from the previous one. Men are characterized by actions, not words. He assures you that he understands and will change? No problem – let him change. In the meantime, you look, observe.

And run fast, if the man is easy to let go. Do not make excuses for him, do not make excuses for yourself. That you do not draw a prospect where there is none.

And certainly do not take responsibility for his behavior, even if he is trying to shift it on you. Even if it’s some kind of bad relationships from his past – you have nothing to do with it. And tolerate neglect of you are not obliged.

But to strengthen their personal boundaries, so that no one can penetrate their manipulation, forcing you to conform and making you comfortable – you can and should. Look at the light of the course “Female Self-Esteem”: there you will find what you need to protect.

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Why a man does not let go, even though he does not want to be together

Why a man does not let go, although he does not try to make you happy? This question tormented many women who are in a toxic relationship and always “flying” in and out of heaven and hell with his chosen one.

Perhaps you do not need to be a psychologist with a college degree to understand – this model of relationship is far from normal and even more so from the ideal. What to do in such a situation? Why does this happen and how to find true happiness as a woman? Let’s talk about this in detail.

4 reasons why a man does not let go

To begin with, let’s analyze what moves a man, if he does not seek to marry, but continues to communicate with the girl. What is he thinking about? What is he avoiding? And most importantly, what can be expected from such an affair?

1. The man hopes that the woman will change.

A person cannot be perfect, everyone has positive qualities as well as negative traits. Perhaps the young man has fallen in love with you, your femininity, softness, but despite this bright side of your personality, he sees negative traits in you, because of which he cannot dare and propose. For example, he likes you, but because of the frequent scandals he removes more and more withdrawn.

The young man hopes that you will change and be different. He sympathizes with you and is waiting for you to eradicate their shortcomings. Or he may try to change you himself and make you better. Of all the existing motives why a man does not let go, this is the most positive.

Author and facilitator of women’s trainings to harmonize women’s energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of layouts.

I have prepared for you three lessons that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you to feel loved and live happily.

Video lesson with meditation: The 5 states of femininity

You will learn about the five feminine states that exist in every woman, how they manifest and which archetypes you have the most manifested and which are not developed.

Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships

Telling you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings, and break the energy threads linking you to a past partner.

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Thanks to this neuro-affirmation you will be able to return love for yourself and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for each of your day.

And start a new, happy life for yourself.

The fact is that in such a situation, a girl can improve her relationships. To do this, you simply need to pay attention to your own personality.

Once you assess yourself objectively, you will find that there are things that need to work on, and improve themselves necessary primarily not for the boyfriend, but for themselves. Only then will you have the desire to change something, will be forces for action. Then you will stop feeling like a victim and become the best version of yourself.

2. A backup airfield.

The second reason why a man does not let go is not as rosy as the above: here the reason lies in the fact that the guy considers you just a backup plan, and not the love of his life. He is sure that he will never marry you because he is not attracted to you as a woman and he has no plans to start a family with you. However, it is scary to stay alone, and the man does not let you go, because you are a backup.

His reasoning is as follows: “If I leave her, what if I can not find the girl of my dreams? Maybe she doesn’t exist, and I just made up an ideal in my head. Then I’ll be all alone. No, it’s better to leave everything as it is.

He is constantly angry at himself for weak character, lack of courage to live as his heart tells him, and to reduce the feeling of fear, clings to you as a backup. After all, you always accept him in any way. And he knows that no matter what he’s done, you’ll always welcome him with open arms.

3 A man himself does not know what he wants.

Many girls do not honestly understand: why a man does not let go, what he wants to achieve such behavior?

And they sincerely believe that this question can be given a simple and clear answer, why the elected one so behaves.

However, in reality, everything is such that the young man cannot make sense of himself and his feelings. There is no logic in his actions, he thinks chaotically, he has no goal to strive for.

For example, in the evening he felt sorry for you and began to send SMS, which says how much he misses you. But the morning came to him a friend, cheered him up, and he no longer thinks about you, does not write, disappears from your life.

Often the reason why a man does not let go, is not clear to him himself. Inside, he feels like a child, which is reflected in infantile behavior.

When a man-child has come your way many times before, ask yourself:

Why am I attracted to infantile guys?

Why do I like this type of man?

A man feels uncomfortable with a girl, but can not live without her.

You are deeply mistaken if you think that only girls allow themselves to be treated badly if they want to keep a connection. One of the reasons why a man doesn’t let go is that he simply can’t survive without his chosen one, even though he doesn’t feel particularly happy with her either.

She constantly scandals, from frequent quarrels he gets depressed. The girl makes exaggerated demands, asks for more attention, while wanting the man to earn a lot. He cannot cope with the tasks set. It may also be that the young man is waiting for something from the woman that she cannot give him.

In any case, the man is afraid of losing her and continues to live in a relationship that hurts both of them.

This situation, when a man does not let go for this reason, is quite common. At the same time, the girl feels that the guy does not respect her, humiliates her, does not care. All this leads to the fact that she has a desire to change the chosen one, to make him better. After unsuccessful attempts, she asks herself again: “This relationship does not make us happy, but why does the man not let me go, hurts me?”

To find a way out of this difficult situation, you need to understand the reason why the girl tolerates this attitude. And often it lies in the fact that the woman is simply afraid of loneliness.

4. tyrannical tendencies.

Another motive why a man does not let go is that he is a tyrannical person, an abuser. To illustrate, consider a specific situation. The young man was the initiator of the breakup, but he did not stop supporting the girl financially, he gave her a car, rented a house, gave her money every month. However, he gave her an ultimatum: if the woman wanted to find someone else, if she had an affair, he would stop taking care of her. In doing so, he not only communicated his demands, but threatened his ex-girlfriend.

Obviously, in a situation like this a man is not interested in whether his chosen one is happy. The main thing is to feel pleasure from the total control over her life.

He does not hide the fact that he meets other girls and does not plan to marry her. However, his goal is to make his former companion dependent on him, to monitor the girl’s every move, not allowing her to live a full life.

If the man does not let go for this reason, it means that he is a complete egoist and seeks to satisfy only his own desires. To achieve his goal, he uses money because it gives him power over the ex-girlfriend.

5 Women’s Motives for Choosing a Tyrant Man

Next, consider why women continue to be in unhealthy relationships when a man won’t let go. What excuses are found for such male behaviors? Why does an attractive, intelligent girl with a prestigious job strive to create a family with a loving man, but get the opposite result.

There are many reasons why a woman continues to endure when a man won’t let go.

1. The hope that the man will change.

A girl is sure that a young man can be changed, even if he:

Has beaten her many times;

Is incapable of providing a decent living;

acted in such a way that his companion always felt abandoned, as a result of which the couple broke up.

A few days go by, and the woman starts dating this man again. What is the reason for this behavior? The girl is sure that she is able to change the guy, to make him better. She knows that he is in love with her, just not ready to marry yet. But he spoke so beautifully and described a bright future for their couple.

Many women believe that it is possible to start dating again after a breakup, because the young man will change for the sake of his chosen one. However, before you do so, make sure that the positive changes really happened.

Remember the reason you broke up. In most cases, a man does change for a while, becoming affectionate and caring.

However, over time, everything falls back into place. And real change rarely happens, more often than not girls face the same bad attitude that they had before the breakup.

2. The woman herself has not decided what she wants.

It also happens that the girl cannot figure out for herself whether she wants to continue the relationship or not. She cannot figure out if she can trust a man. In this case it is impossible to give an unequivocal answer. It is important to understand what your goal is. Figure out what you really want from your relationship, and then you will understand why the man does not let go and how to act in such a situation.

There is nothing wrong with a guy trying to win you back. But do you want to resume the relationship? What are your motives? When there are a lot of men who will not let you go, it means that you have not decided whether to break off relations. Therefore, men are a reflection of your inner state.

It often happens that the relationship in a couple deteriorates. In this case, young people may be married, but there is no love and mutual respect between them. They fight every day, they hate each other. Everyone is waiting for someone to make the first move and file for divorce. In that case, the girl often doesn’t understand why the man won’t let her go and take the first step to separate.

Let’s assume that the man really isn’t seeking a divorce. But why does the girl shift her responsibility to her husband and do nothing? The fact is that she doesn’t understand her own desires and can’t decide if a divorce is necessary or if the old relationship needs to be restored.

Avoiding making an important decision, the girl waits for the man to do everything for her and offer a variant of action. This behavior is irresponsible.

In the case where you want a man to act firmly and decisively, check that you have the firmness and determination. And then you will understand the motives for your behavior.

The woman is satisfied with everything.

Together with a man who does not let her go, the girl feels comfortable. Of course, he does not show bright feelings, he treats her badly, he has flaws. He does not plan to marry, but he does not leave her either. In such a relationship, the girl gets some weighty advantages from the guy. For example, he provides her financially, makes beautiful signs of attention, shows his masculinity. If you recognize yourself in a similar situation, ask yourself: are you really satisfied with such a relationship.

In such a couple, the woman is like an addict: she suffers, wants to get rid of her addiction, but does not change anything. The woman is unhappy, but not ready to break up.

If the smoker wants to get rid of this habit, he must realize that at this moment he likes smoking, he enjoys the process. Once you realize that you no longer need this habit, you can easily get rid of it, and it does not matter what it is: smoking or unhealthy relationship, in which the man does not let go.

4. It’s bad with a man, but it’s even worse without him.

The girl is afraid to be alone, all alone, so she closes her eyes to the shortcomings of her chosen one. After all, no matter how bad he is, this man gives her attention.

This is most often the reasoning of young mothers who do not feel confident. They believe that no man will want to date her. The girl realizes that no one wants her, she is afraid of being alone, so she continues to maintain an unhealthy relationship.

At the same time, the girl does not see what is happening to her. She is unhappy with her chosen one, trying to make him better. However, she does not realize for what reason she got into this situation. If you look closely, you can find the answer to this simple question.

5. Trauma comes from childhood.

No matter how old a woman is: eighteen or sixty, she is not a little girl, but she still behaves with a man as if he were her father. What does this mean? A father can love, then show no emotion at all, withdraws, shows sternness, then softness.

Why do parents behave in one way or another? A great influence on the father’s behavior was his work, material problems, constant stress. As a result, the father becomes violent, showing anger. All of this the little girl saw.

Imagine the situation: today her father is affectionate, but tomorrow he snaps at his daughter, because he has problems at work. One day he says he adores his little girl, and the next day he drives her away, so she doesn’t get in the way. The result is a pattern of behavior where the man does not let go, but also does not keep the woman. He avoids her in spite of his love, today he is indifferent, and tomorrow he cares.

Think about it, in such a relationship, who made the decision how to act? The little girl or the adult father? The correct answer was the father. And the child acted as the victim, because he was the weakest and could not change anything. The father decided what emotions to show: to be a loving parent or to be angry at his daughter.

Years later, when the girl grows up, she projects this pattern of behavior into her life. As a result, even if she feels that the man she has chosen is caring and loving, the man will still begin to treat her like her father: warmly or coldly.

The problem is that a woman cannot build a relationship otherwise. She sincerely aspires to it, but she still hands over the responsibility for decision-making to the man. She considers the guy a father and gives him the right to decide. “Why doesn’t the man let go, what should I do?” – These are the kinds of questions a woman asks. She has forgotten about her feelings, acting like a child, waiting for what an adult will say.

4 important steps to a woman’s happiness

How to act so that you do not have to wonder why a man does not let go?

1. Analyze your current situation.

Is this guy making me a better person?

Am I doing what I’ve always wanted to do?

How does the man show he cares about me?

What are his actions that show he doesn’t respect me?

What are my actions that show my love for myself?

How did it happen that I got into this relationship?

2. Decide to have a frank conversation with the man you love.

When you need to get an answer favorite favorite for important questions or if he is constantly missing, ask him a question: what he wants? Show that you do not like his behavior, speak specifically and calmly.

To understand how things work in your couple, put yourself in the shoes of your loved one.

Then you will understand the motives for his behavior. Why do not you respect and do not appreciate, why disappear for a long time, but the man does not let go?

Answering these questions, you will understand how you perceive yourself, whether you consider yourself worthy of a normal relationship. Your chosen one is a mirror that shows your love for yourself.

Do not forget that our thoughts are material and attract like. When a woman is sure that all men are scoundrels, it is these kinds of men that will pursue her. But if a girl believes that there are worthy members of the strong sex around her, such guys she will meet on her way.

3. Figure out what kind of relationship you really want.

Why won’t a man let go? He just doesn’t know how he will be better. But have you found your own answer to this question?

To understand yourself, imagine what the relationship you dream of looks like. Let your story be bright and colorful.

4. Love yourself sincerely and without convention.

No loving and caring man will not appear near you if you do not love yourself, do not respect and appreciate. To begin with, think about what steps you need to take to show unconditional love for yourself.

Perhaps you love to paint, take pictures, or travel? Start now. Dress in new clothes for yourself, even at home. Throw away everything that doesn’t please you.

Analyze your situation and look at yourself and your companion with fresh eyes. Child psychotraumas in most cases determine the behavior of an adult. To find a way out of this situation and understand why the man does not let go, ask yourself what settings have led to this state of affairs.

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