How to make a girl like you if she likes someone else?
Contributor(s): Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach and owner of Midwest Matchmaking, a dating service. She has over 15 years of experience, specializing in matchmaking, dating counseling, and singles events in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in radio journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
Number of sources used in this article: 12. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.
Number of views on this article: 92 590.
Imagine that you have met a nice girl and are about to ask her out on a date. Suddenly, she casually mentions that she has a boyfriend. Your heart sinks. A lot of guys have been through this situation and it’s not easy. You have to respect other people’s relationships. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be that girl’s friend. You don’t have to convince her to break up with her boyfriend, but maybe someday she’ll be single again and you’ll get your chance!
- Ask her to describe herself. This is a quick way to get to know her personality. It’s a shortcut on your part, but she’ll have to describe herself honestly.
- Find out what she is proud of. Positive questions will allow her to talk about her accomplishments, character traits and skills.
- Ask a variety of questions about “favorite” things – movies, TV shows, or music. You may refuse to share common interests, which will certainly bring you closer.
- Get her opinion on what interests you. If you ask her opinion about your hobbies, she’ll understand that you appreciate her views.
- Women like to be valued for their work or personality, not their looks. If you happen to see her in a theater production and you enjoyed it, be sure to tell her that. Talk about her positive traits that you discerned.
- The most important thing is that the compliments are sincere. You don’t need to quote movie characters or phrases from the internet. Share with her exactly what delighted you.
- Women appreciate compliments, but it is important to respect personal space. Do not go overboard with praise, otherwise it may look like despair or contrived irony.
- Such favors can range from helping her cook dinner to offering her a ride to a meeting. People often need help, so it’s not hard to be helpful.
- Remember, you are judged by your actions, not your words. You can say as many compliments as you like, but to show your friendship with actions. Mutual assistance bonds friendship better than any words.
- Laughter creates a positive bond between people. Any friendship is built on positive relationships.
Think of jokes that only you two can understand. Common jokes, incomprehensible to others, will make your communication more intimate, and will contribute to a friendship.
Don’t flirt, it’s extremely important. If you like the girl, try not to think about romance at all. It’s not easy, but you have to understand for yourself: you can be her or a friend, or nothing at all. Don’t ruin the friendship by showing your feelings, don’t embarrass yourself.
Behave like you do with your male friends. Seeing this, she will start to trust you and realize that you are not breaking the comedy. You don’t have to act rude and vulgar, just don’t try to impress her with every action you take.
What to do if she is in love with another guy?
Professional journalist, author of a poetry collection and several literary publications.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
There are many happy stories of love in life, but unfortunately most of them are only present on movie screens and on the pages of romantic books. Everyone has experienced being cheated or betrayed at least once. Most are used to the fact that girls suffer most from cheating and betrayal, but unfortunately, sometimes men also get into unpleasant love triangles because of the women they love.
- 1 How to know if a girl is lying to you
- 2 How to behave with a girl who loves another
- 3 What not to do
- 4 How to survive betrayal and forgive the betrayal
Many men do not find it easy to understand the causes of women’s actions and, often, men confuse treason with a woman’s boredom. So how do you know that in the heart of your beloved is another man and what to do if your girlfriend likes another guy?
How to know if a girl is lying to you
Not every girl will admit that her feelings for you have cooled down and that there is another man in her heart. But you can tell by her behavior that your beloved is lying to you. If she loves another guy, but officially still in a relationship with you, her behavior is sure to show new traits. For example, she may become more irascible and deliberately provoke quarrels.
In her character, there will be fickleness, which was not observed before. In addition, she may become more scattered and “hovering in the clouds,” with thoughts of being somewhere far away from you. Also, girls are characterized by changes in appearance, girls in love are beginning to look after themselves more carefully. As a rule, in a long relationship things happen differently and girls often stop looking after their appearance as much as they do when they are in an active search.
So if suddenly your girlfriend in an instant changed from blonde to brunette or made any other dramatic changes, then you should think about it, it is possible that she wants to impress someone and, unfortunately, it is not always you. Each girl has her own tricks, but the fact is that if she fell in love with someone else, sooner or later all the secret will come out.
How to behave with a girl who loves another
Consider two situations. First, it may be that the girl with whom you have long dated, suddenly fell in love with another. Such a deed can be considered treason, and further action depends only on what you still want to get out of this person and how much her action hurt you. Suppose that your feelings are so strong that you are ready to forgive everything.
So what should you do? It is not necessary to bend over backwards in order to get your girlfriend back, she is unlikely to appreciate it and consider you intrusive and annoying. There are situations when it is better to do nothing. Give yourself time to “cool down” and give her time to think. If the girl will come in contact with you herself, then do everything to show your best side. Talk to her casually and simply, do not make a scene of jealousy. Do not idealize the person you love and think twice about whether it is worth it to return.
Secondly, you can simply fall in love with a girl you know who has a boyfriend. Here the situation is more simple, because you and this lady previously were not connected relationship, and therefore nothing bad you did to each other. In order not to seem intrusive, try to become a friend for her first. Make your time together simple and carefree, show your best side, but don’t talk about your feelings, otherwise you might lose her completely.
And most importantly, you don’t need to talk to her about her boyfriend, try to make it so that with you she doesn’t think about him. Don’t say anything bad about her man, and if they quarrel, don’t rush into romance. Your task at the first stage – to cause trust, but then everything will happen by itself, if you are confident in yourself and know your worth.
What not to do
Psychologists say that there is a list of actions that are acceptable and impermissible to do if you want to return your girlfriend at the moment when she is romantically involved in feelings for another. If the contact between you are not lost and you are able to communicate with the girl who loves another guy, then in no case do not need to remind her of him. In conversations try as much as possible to distract her from extraneous thoughts. Do not make a scene of jealousy and do not start a conversation about unhappy love. Never say anything bad or good about your new lover. Your task as much as possible to create an atmosphere as if the other man did not exist. No need to be intrusive. In no case do not try to write or call her all the time. Compulsiveness can only alienate the person. That way you can not get sympathy. Give her a chance to miss you.
If you suddenly notice that the relationship with your girlfriend’s new boyfriend is not adding up, do not rush to take all of her space and immediately call on a date. Do not rush the romance and let the man sort out his feelings. The most important thing is to create a pattern of communication so that you are associated only with good and positive emotions.
How to get over the betrayal and forgive the cheating
How to come to terms with the fact that your girlfriend loves another guy and how to forgive treason – these questions are asked by all men who have faced with female infidelity. And while men’s infidelity has become something commonplace today, women’s love transgressions are treated more conservatively. No doubt, every person who has been betrayed will feel problems with their own self-esteem.
But in such a difficult moment, you need to think only of yourself. The best option would be to find a new pastime and we are not talking about one-time affairs, but a real occupation. Start running in the morning or work out at the gym, get a cat or dog, go out with friends more often, learn to play the guitar or think of any other activity that will make you distracted. There’s no need to beat yourself up and look for faults in yourself.
Remember that people have a way of making mistakes, girls included. Don’t try to call her, write her heartbreaking texts or send her expensive gifts by courier. Do everything you can to show the cheating girlfriend that you don’t care about any of this. Intrusiveness always repels, but common sense and pride, on the contrary, attracts.
But most importantly, don’t become an inveterate loner and give yourself a chance to have a new healthy and happy relationship. Everyone is different and if you are faced with betrayal once, it is not the fact that you will face a second time. Gain faith in yourself, find your place in life and in no case dare to engage in self-destruction.
No matter how the relationship works out for you, the most important thing is to never lose faith in yourself. If your girlfriend loves another guy and you’re sure it’s not a jealousy game, then just let her go. Give each of you the opportunity to be happy, because by holding on to a man who doesn’t love you will hurt him and yourself.
But if there is even a small chance of success and that your lover’s new infatuation is just a mild affair, then act. Show your best qualities, let her know that you are the man she needs. Act as your heart tells you, and only then you will get real human happiness.