What a man should do for a woman to make her happy
When a guy and a girl decide to become a couple, certain obligations are imposed on each of them. After all, the relationship consists not only of solid romance and enjoying each other. It is the most real work. Let’s talk about what a man should do. In reality, the list of his duties is not much more than that of a girl. However, often the stronger sex decide that the relationship can easily be borne on the shoulders of the fragile lady. This becomes their main mistake.
A couple should be a union of two adults and responsible people who can and want to take care of each other. And if one of them refuses to fulfill their obligations, a breakup is inevitable. So don’t rush to pull the strings alone. First familiarize yourself with your partner’s expected actions and compare theory with practice. The guy is not going to strain, giving the reins in the hands of his beloved? Then it’s time for a serious heart-to-heart talk.
What should a man do for a girl
In fact, there is nothing supernatural here. Each point is the basis for building an equal strong relationship, where one partner can rely on the other. So don’t think that such requirements are anything out of the realm of fiction:
It’s really necessary. Most men are stingy not only with emotion, but also with words. And this kind of thing makes life almost unbearable for a woman. Also, silence is not the best choice when there are some problems in the relationship.
- The ability to listen.
And not just for the sake of appearance, but with interest and understanding of the information. Not all members of the stronger sex consider women’s speech to be something necessary for themselves. However, frank neglect can cause a quarrel and dissatisfaction on the part of the partner.
- Help in the home.
Yes, this is indeed a man’s duty. And all the guys who claim otherwise, just looking for a second mother, who will bring order to their room and put in front of their nose a plate of food.
For some reason, many men think that helping with household chores humiliates them. However, this duty is not gender specific. In a family where there is a healthy psychological atmosphere, each partner does what he can do and what he likes.
- Provide moral and psychological support.
First of all, the man should be a friend and only then a lover and a provider. This relationship can last a really long time. Indifference has no place here.
If your favorite favorite man does not care that your girlfriend is crying or burned out emotionally because of the problems at work, think about whether he is needed at all.
- Take her seriously.
Not all men are capable of treating their girlfriends as equals. Many consider their words and problems as something far-fetched and unrealistic. And this is a direct path to separation. In the worst case, a woman will get a lot of psychological problems.
Girls who are not taken seriously are prone to depression, anxiety, self-injury, and even have suicidal thoughts. Set the bar in advance of their perception of the partner, so you do not have to suffer later.
This is very important because girls always sense lies from the man, which is definitely not conducive to a healthy atmosphere in the family. Speak up this point in advance, so that the guy does not have to make something up just to avoid telling the truth.
There is always something to be thankful for. At the very least for just being together. And it would also be nice for the man to show gratitude for the care and comfort in the house. That way you’ll feel like he notices every little thing. A woman needs to be valued and needed.
What does a man need for a woman?
- Participate in the material support of the household.
Notice, no one is talking about maintenance. A woman should still have financial abstraction. But having an alphonse at home is definitely unnecessary. As a man comes into your life, it should become easier, not the other way around.
- Show your feelings.
Almost all men are stingy on emotions. And sometimes a girl feels their deficit, which over time develops into a longing for tenderness and love. If your partner is counting on a long relationship, he needs to learn to talk about his feelings.
- Be faithful.
Basically, this rule in a family is a long default. If a man is going to have a relationship with more than one girl, then it is definitely not worth creating a couple with him. Any adultery should have clear consequences in the form of a permanent breakup.
- Keep jealousy under control.
When a woman does not give any reason to doubt her fidelity, scandals on this basis will demonstrate the unstable mental state of the partner. Such people often become hardcore abusers.
Therefore, the presence of unhealthy jealousy is a negative factor in a relationship. Either discuss the subject in advance, or put it to the fact of separation. Tolerating this kind of thing from a man is not worth it.
- Be restrained in negative emotions.
In this case, it is mostly about figuring out the relationship, as well as mental and physical abuse. The abundance of scandals and hysterics, which are initiated by a partner, indicates his internal problems.
If a man allows himself to commit any acts of a threatening nature in a fit of rage, he should immediately leave. Because there is no guarantee that one day he will not move to assault.
- Take responsibility.
When you build a relationship with an adult and emotionally mature person, he will certainly be responsible for all his actions and words. Otherwise, you should think about his infantilism. Be sure to pay attention to the man’s desire to be responsible.
- To show care.
This is normal for people of any age. When a guy does not want to take care of his beloved girl, it indicates his insincerity. So you should give up on such a relationship at an early stage.
- Match your words with your actions.
Pretty promises are easy to make. But what about actions? When a man can’t do what he said he would do, building a relationship with him will be extremely problematic. Yes, it’s directly your other half’s responsibility.
- To be aware of the consequences of his desires.
Does he want children without having his own place and financial stability? It is unlikely that such a partner is truly mature and ready to be there for you in all difficulties. A mature man always understands the consequences of a particular action or demand.
- Show Respect.
This is the first thing a partner must demonstrate in a relationship. Without respect for the woman, he simply has no business being in a couple with her. So require him to consider your opinion on any issue.
- Protect her interests.
A man should be a support, not an enemy. Therefore, your boyfriend should always stand up for the interests of his beloved first and foremost, putting them above all others. This is especially true of the closest relatives.
- Be a role model.
When a guy blames the girl that she does not serve him well enough in domestic and emotional terms, most likely, while he does not do anything at all. A man in a relationship should still reciprocate.
- Accept her for who she is.
Trying to remake the girl is a bad idea. Such a couple will never be happy. So take it as a rule that you can not reshape yourself at the first request of your partner. You just have to rub it in a little bit, but that’s the maximum.
Everyone has responsibilities in a relationship. So when you demand or expect something, think about equal behavior on your part. The same goes for the man. There is no need to build a relationship with a man who doesn’t see you as a person.
What a man owes a woman
Psychologist Oleg Silyavsky on the correct roles of men and women, the immutability of human nature, and why pay 40 sheep for the lady – it’s right! Many couples today do not experience any pleasure from their relationships. Instead of enjoying life, people figure out who has to pay for what and why one has to earn more.
“Where’s the justice?” – male breadwinners ask. “The real heroes disappeared a long time ago,” lament the fairer sex. We talked to a coach, a trainer-psychologist, a teacher of true essence, director of the consulting company “Practicum” Oleg Silyavsky about the right roles for men and women, the permanence of human nature, and why paying 40 rams for a lady is the right thing to do.
– What should the roles of a man and a woman ideally be?
– In my trainings I often ask people to imagine a simple biological model. For example, there is a house on the edge of the forest, a man and a woman and five children live in it – as it used to be. And from here all the roles, functions, consequences, who should relate to whom, who should do what.
Yes, materially and socially everything has changed: people live in comfortable apartments, there’s no need to cut wood or carry firewood. But the archetypal nature of man has remained the same. If people do not follow it, then problems begin, certain defects: psychological, social.
In general, in the modern world there is a clear distortion of the roles of men and women, it’s a given.
People have become disconnected from their true nature and do what they want.
Men are forgetting their roles and functions, women are losing theirs… In this sense, it’s really a mess now.
– If you follow your model, does that mean that men have to support women completely?
– Of course he should. Absolutely. Otherwise he loses his masculinity and degenerates. There’s such a thing as a spiritual path, and everyone follows it, whether they know it or not. If a man doesn’t realize his true biological function, then his way, his psyche is distorted. It’s the same with a woman.
– But does man owe anything to a woman?
– If he is a man, he owes it first and foremost to himself, his masculine nature and his spiritual way.
A man’s duty, his natural nature, is to be a warrior, a protector, a patron.
And if he does not do that, he is not a man.
Certainly a man can do otherwise. He really doesn’t owe anyone anything. But then let him accept the consequences of what he does, of the fact that he does not fulfill his destiny. And the consequences are unfortunate, both for men and women who don’t want to go the natural way.
– What are the consequences?
– For men, it is the destruction of the business, loss of meaning in life, depression, alcoholism, impotence. There are a lot of options that nature has arranged. For women, violation of their nature and the right spiritual path leads to loss of beauty, weight gain, female cancers.
At first it all seems like fun, especially at a young age. Until you catch up with these consequences… Here in Hinduism and Buddhism there is such a concept as karma. This is a beautiful law in fact – the law of karma, or as they call it, the law of universal justice.
But even if you take away the mystical side of the question, the law of karma really exists. And it is not even necessary to cite all these Buddhist stories about reincarnation. The law of universal justice is already working in this life. The essence of this law is very simple: the choices we made yesterday determine our life today, the choices we make today will determine our life tomorrow.
Therefore, those people who make choices today against their true nature may at first enjoy themselves, get a lot of pleasure. It seems to them that they have rid themselves of unnecessary obligations: to provide for a woman, to support a family, or – for a woman – to serve a man, to maintain a hearth, to raise children. But a man can rejoice for a year, two, three, and in five it will catch up with him.
And in eight, it will catch up with him so badly that he will not be happy. I’ve been practicing for twenty years, and I’ve seen so many fates! It works like clockwork really, and people don’t even realize it. They think, you know, that’s the way the world is, you can do whatever you want in it. And it’s not as simple as it seems.
– So, what is the true path of a real man?
– First of all, he must have a job. It plays a fundamentally important role for a man. If he has no business, then he is not a man. To say “profession” here would be wrong. Is a businessman a profession? Or an artist?
Again, in a simple biological model, the head of the family must go hunting every day or plow the land. Then he survives, his family survives. That’s why the main male path, spiritual development is connected to work. This is the first priority.
And the second priority is a woman. Because a man needs, how to say, to get rid of the fruits of his business. If a man does not have a loving woman, then his life begins to be a complete mess. For example, he begins to reinvest the fruits of his labor.
A lot of businessmen who are in a bad relationship do this. So he did one business, got a lot of money. What to do with it? You have to invest in the next business. You put it into the next business. Now where do you put it? After all, if a man is successful, created one business, he will make two or ten.
I thought I’d get rid of the dough, but there’s twice as much. We should do a third business! He’ll bury himself in these businesses his whole life, and then at the age of 70 he’ll discover that everything has passed him by. He had success, but he wasn’t happy, he still wasn’t. He was building his career.
That’s why every man should ideally have a woman who will throw his money away.
– Just like that?
– Yes, exactly. Women throw money down the drain, obviously. Only the man has to earn it first. And this has always been marked in traditional cultures. Unfortunately, in today’s world, most of the traditional practices have been lost. But in some places there are still such cultures. For example, in the East there is still such a phenomenon as kalym. And it’s right, I tell you. It’s very right. Because if you can’t pay 40 rams – you can’t be trusted with a woman.
– And if a woman doesn’t want you to be the one to pay 40 rams for her?
– And they don’t have that concept that a woman doesn’t want. It’s a different upbringing. And the man is also sure: if he paid 40 rams, he knows for sure that the woman wants him, and the children, and the kitchen. I’ve seen it all with my own eyes.
– And does the man get a kick out of seeing a woman flush his money?
– Of course, it’s obvious. The ideal family is one where the woman doesn’t know where the money comes from and the man doesn’t know where it goes. In terms of money, it’s the perfect example of a couple. The woman always has lots of great ways to spend her money.
The man, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to spend cash for nothing; he’s always calculating, thinking of the best way to invest it. He’s trying to make sure there’s always a return on the capital he’s invested. And the woman spends easily. For example, she bought a ring for $9,000. And this ring is not even that big, she needs 25, so the diamond would be bigger. One day 25 thousand is gone, gone to the wind.
Money in this case is a continuation and embodiment of a man’s love. Gifts, flowers, houses, cars, fur coats, and cash in particular. If a man loves, he gives it all to a woman.
– And what else does a man need a woman for, except to spend money?
– In general, a woman is one of the best sources of investment for a man. Provided, of course, that this is a real woman. He invests something in her all the time, and she always gets something out of it. Once he invests something, he has children, and once he invests something, he has a house. On the material level this is important.
On the social level – the status, like, I have a woman, and the best and most beautiful. In addition, it gives a sense of reliable rear.
And what about the spiritual level? This is also very important.
On the spiritual level, a woman helps a man to do one very important thing – to find the truth.
Men are always looking for the truth, they are always hungry. That’s why there are so many men in science, Nobel Prize winners, for example?
Because they have this thing: they want to know how the world works, they want to find the truth. Scientists, religious people, even politicians in some way want to know how the world works, so they can rule it. It is fundamentally important for men – the truth.
And most importantly, the truth about myself. To find out who I am in this world. And it is a woman who can tell you. She says directly in words, who you are. Goat, for example.
And if you’re lucky, she says: “You’re my hero”. And that’s it, the man is immediately enlightened. Only a real woman can give a man the true image he is looking for.
And to give it exactly the way he needs it: I’m a hero, I’m a winner, I’m the best in this world, because I’m loved by a woman like that, and she tells me so.
– And yet so much has changed. Gentlemen used to stand up when a lady entered a room, but now it is not customary to give way to a girl on public transportation.
– The fact is that class has shifted a lot. Who were the real men in Russia? Mostly officers, noblemen. As Tsvetaeva said: “You took the heart and the rock with one fierce will”… And they behaved accordingly. But they were really men!
And then in Russia almost all the men were destroyed. For about a hundred years there was a total genocide of the male population. Look. World War I, then the October Revolution and the Civil War – destruction of all the color of the White Guards, the nobility. Those who were not killed were driven out of Russia.
And they were the best men not only of Russia – the world actually! Next. Kakulakization – the destruction of men in the village. Those who really could do something, create a product, to keep the farm. Then Stalin’s purges wiped out the red commanders, the thinking intelligentsia, and all the able-bodied. The Great Patriotic War wiped out all the others who were heroes and went to defend their homeland.
As a result, our women were left with nothing. It is good if there was one man per village after the war.
Women were used to doing everything themselves. It is like in the post-war proverb: “I am a horse, I am a bull, I am a woman, I am a man”.
After that the following generations are raised in a distorted field: boys – in a female infantile way (there are no men around), and girls – as dray horses.
And then this scenario is passed on from generation to generation. And it still works. Our women want to be independent. I read this on Facebook the other day. How to find a real Russian woman? Three-step methodology. Set fire to the hut, get the horse going, wait. [Laughs]
The Russian woman still tries to grab everything herself. “Can I carry your bags for you?” – “No, that’s okay, I’ll do it myself.” And it doesn’t matter that her husband left. She’s going to earn her own money and raise the kids herself. And she thinks she should be applauded for it. In the past, yes, when there was no other choice, it was heroic.
But now the situation is different, there are plenty of men.
You should not applaud her, you should throw tomatoes at her for ruining her children’s lives, because these boys, brought up without a father, do not know what a real man should be like, and the girls do not know how to deal with the opposite sex. It’s a vicious circle.
She should not be applauded, but told: “Listen, you sick girl, get rid of your idiot scenario, attract a normal man into your life. You do not need to work three jobs and raise children. Learn to be a woman, learn to obey, obey, worship a man, admire him, and everything will be fine.
– So a woman doesn’t need to build a career at all, she should just make borscht?
– A woman shouldn’t have a career. It’s not a woman’s way of life. And a woman shouldn’t work. A woman’s body just isn’t designed for the workload. Well, let’s see. Let’s take this box that you have in your office and walk down the hall 20 times with it. First me, then you. You’ll see what happens.
A woman’s body isn’t designed for work. A real lady shouldn’t work, she should have something to do, and she should love it.If it makes a good profit, I’m all for it. [Laughs] But if it’s not profitable, it doesn’t matter. A woman shouldn’t be making money!
I’m not saying that a woman can’t get money or other dividends – fame, respect, recognition – at the expense of social merit. Please, for God’s sake, let her do whatever she wants. The main thing is that it doesn’t become a job for her. Because only men can and can really work.
And women are not created for this work. Their bodies and minds are geared for other things. First of all it is borscht, you are right. But do not be so skeptical. Borsch is a great thing. But you have to look wider. Not only borsch.
It’s like saying that a man is designed only for a hammer. Only narrow-minded cynics say so, whether on the part of men or women. Everyone has their own greatest role in this world. The borscht and the hammer are only tools of this greatest role. The most important functions of a woman, which include borscht, are femininity and motherhood in the broadest sense.
First you have to be a woman, and then, if she is able to attract and hold a man and create a family, it comes down to motherhood. And if she is not good as a woman, she will not be a good mother.
And femininity is first of all beauty, the very beauty that will save the world. In other words, a woman has two basic functions: beauty and care, femininity and motherhood.
By the way, they can also be used to build a business. Women do best in careers that are related to these areas. For example, the modeling business. Or the restaurant business, all kinds of clubs, where you have to take care of the clients.
And when women start managing factories… For that I would say that you have to have, but I won’t in front of you. Women don’t have that. published by econet.ru