7 things men really need in a relationship
Knowing how to cook is certainly commendable, but it’s not the limit of perfection. We’re going to tell you what your favorite man really needs in a relationship.
Recommendations on women’s forums are confusing. For any problem with your favorite man they have a thousand recommendations, diametrically opposed to each other, and each time – universal. The radical character of such advice makes women feel at a loss – either to take a man with all the shortcomings, or immediately leave. It’s good that there is a little guide, who is ready to come to the rescue. The main thing is to understand what a man needs in a relationship. If you are willing to provide that for him, he will be willing to provide for your feminine happiness. This is the equation of pure and immense love, where mutual respect is multiplied by two.
Feeling like a superhero
The first forty years of a boy’s life are the hardest. And all because he was a little boy, a fluffy bunny, a defenseless little flower, and forever will remain for his mother. With you a man wants to feel strong, mature, irreplaceable and independent. Yes, a man needs to be a hero for his woman, even turning a blind eye to all the complaints, insults, a temperature of 36.8. Representatives of the stronger half of mankind need to feel that you admire and awe at every glance. Because if you do not admire him, then, sorry, why do you give him up? So dear ladies, keep in mind – men need compliments just as much as you do. Without a sense of mutual admiration withers everything, and love is the first in this list. Just pick appropriate epithets that sound convincing. Say, iron fist, stone wall, a warrior, the most courageous, the strongest. And all these “my prince”, “my angel” and “handsome” leave mommy.
Relationships without resentment.
Here it’s simple: any boat of love is rocked by all kinds of quarrels. Every relationship is covered with a carpet of scattered socks, covered with forgotten bouquets of flowers, mountains of unwashed dishes, wasted money and other nonsense. Naturally, you have already had time to be offended and talk about the painful at high volume. And for nothing. No matter how ridiculous it sounds, men do not understand what exactly are offended by women. The conflict of the sexes, otherwise you can not call it, in which women’s tears can develop a complex of male inferiority. Why break a man’s self-esteem with empty insults? Your lover ignores the little things, not because he wants to make your life a living hell, but because he is a man who is responsible for something big, and to the problems of everyday life his sight just does not sink. Don’t try to re-educate what is inherent in nature. There’s a fine line between the need to talk things out, the need to blow off steam and tough bullying. They should not be crossed. The success of your love affair depends not on what you do, but on what you don’t do. Sometimes you just need to ignore the small imperfections.
Being a part of your life
Men think like this: if you’re a woman, then you want to get married, and if you don’t want to marry him, then you have someone else. Killer logic, we agree, but most men really do think that way. And that’s the way it is with everything. He has his own view on everything, which goes through this filter of illogic. Therefore, in order to have understanding in a relationship, you need to be clear and specific about your desires, dreams, detailing your thoughts. At first it will be difficult, but then you will get into the taste. You will learn to talk about the main thing, not hiding your feelings, and the man will stop second-guessing. You have to let him into your life, gradually acquainting him with your quirks, so that eventually he will become an integral part of your life.
Have your own life
This point neatly follows from the previous one: do not try to take all the personal space men to themselves and only themselves. He also needs to breathe freely. Surprisingly, the more freedom you give a man, the less he needs it. Live one life for two, and yours – an idea for a love affair, not for the harsh reality. More often than not, such couples dig themselves a common grave by parting with scandal. In just to be alone with myself, there is nothing critical.
Moreover, privacy is necessary and you. Otherwise, how to develop, how to grow, how to remain desired and loved, if your relationship is trampled on one leg? You cannot be afraid to live your life. The paradox of love is that two become one while remaining two.
The other side of “I am your stone wall” because even heroes sometimes need help. This does not mean that you have to relieve a man of responsibility, to solve all his problems, to start patronizing, to crush everyone around, enough and simple female tenderness. Embrace your loved one, be sure it works. A man dreams of hearing from a woman: “Honey, I see how you try, I’m with you. Understand, everything a man does, everything he achieves, everything he strives for, he does for you, and maybe a little bit for himself. You are his motivator, you are his incentive and you are his support.
A woman’s love is evidenced by her loyalty to her man. If she loves, she doesn’t imagine herself with someone else because she doesn’t need to. And if a woman can forgive cheating, a man never will. Men, whatever they tell you, are possessive by nature. So there is nothing worse for them than sharing with someone of their own. Lovely ladies, be faithful to your companions, and get reciprocity.
This parable is as old as the world. You can be a legendary cook, have gorgeous looks, but if your relationship has no sex – then you have no relationship either. Also, another sad fact: if a man does not get it from you, you will find someone who will give him everything he needs and the choice is obvious.
Dear women, no one is asking you to constant self-sacrifice, but to understand the feelings, desires and worldview of your beloved man – not so hard, and almost always useful. And if from time to time to put his desires and needs a little higher than their own, then the price of such a woman will not be. Love your men and be happy. Success in,
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A psychologist talks about three things men need in a relationship
Women and men are constructed very differently. Therefore, it is often difficult for them to understand each other. Even if there is reciprocity, trust and even love in the relationship. What do men need most of all next to their woman?
This post will be drenched in stiff bristles, a worn leather jacket, a paper cut finger without a single tear, an extra-rare steak and Happy Carpenter deodorant.
Men need two things in a relationship
Okay, three. But two are basic.
Let’s start with the third, why not.
That thing is sympathy and maybe love.
Why “maybe”? Because a relationship doesn’t start with love, it starts with sympathy.
And if you entered into a relationship with a stubbly individual in a leather jacket, you like him. And he likes you.
Unless, of course, we are talking about the fact that a woman, blinded by her own personal desires, does not see a man as a man. And sees him as a male as a means to achieve personal goals (family, child, marriage, material comfort).
The woman, as a rule, does not realize this at all. Because she is blinded by her desires, she will not initially feel sympathy for a man, but will fall into the illusion that she does.
Then it is not a relationship at all. And there’s not much happiness in such a relationship.
But if you really like a man, you know that a man needs two things:
- To be treated like a man.
- To be appreciated.
Let’s start with the first point, because a lot of women don’t understand what it is to treat a man like a man.
I see this in practice with enviable regularity – the woman behaves hypertrophied.
She’s in charge of the couple, and it’s not about location. It’s about the fact that she’s the adult in the couple, and next to her is a child and an infantilist, who basically gets used to this role. As a result, the adult woman, who quickly takes on the mothering role with the sauce of “what a bad boy I have,” and the husband – the child with the sauce of “yes, I am!” form a semblance of a relationship. Semblance, because in this relationship, sex is the first thing that is covered. Behind it, the male-female roles are leveled, giving place to the parent-child relationship.
- The man is no longer considered a man.
- He is not relied upon.
- His measure of responsibility is questioned.
- He is routinely doubted and lost credibility.
Have you ever been regularly doubted? This condition completely robs a man of his faith in himself.
- One does not sleep with him.
- He doesn’t excite.
- They get angry at him all the time.
- They are chronically dissatisfied.
Active anger is replaced by passive anger, but the attitude towards him as a person who is not finishing something, does not change.
And then the question arises to women – that’s why you need such happiness? If you:
- Do not believe in your man
- Do not rely on him,
- disappointed in him to such an extent that you constantly feel passive aggression towards him,
he won’t be happy with you. And you with him.
Do I divorce at this point? No, but start working on your relationship to your man as a man.
Second point. Exactly how to appreciate a man.
And this is where the question comes in, “Why a man?! Everyone should be valued!”
Because forget about your own person for a second and look at the other one.
If you have a liking for that man, you’ll want to ask yourself, “What is it that he needs, and not ‘everyone’?” If not, read the above. Perhaps he’s a tool for you to SELF-actualize, and then it’s not about the relationship.
Men live in a world of achievement. It’s important for them to be positively evaluated because the world of men is very hierarchical. Men look at each other top-down or bottom-up.
How they will look at others depends on how the man looks at himself. Therefore, a man:
- Must know that he is good,
- needs to hear it above all from his woman.
A man needs to be praised and appreciated for his achievements. Yes, he does! Yes, any!
– Maybe I should make him some bread and butter, too!”
– Not necessarily. Just praise him if he made bread and butter himself. Notice this.
It’s incredibly valuable to a man when a woman notices and celebrates his accomplishments. Even the smallest, and especially them. Because without them, big accomplishments are impossible.
And support. Not a constant criticism, but support. First of all emotional. It consists of a woman’s calm, in a warm word, in a soft contact, in which a man can relax for a while and go back to the tough competitive world of men.
To support is not to get involved in his problems. Supportive doesn’t mean opening him up forcibly if he’s not ready.
It’s from a point of sympathy (again!) to hear him and to be able to appreciate him.
Basically, two things. Based on the third. But a great many relationships do so without them. And where a man doesn’t feel like a man, a woman doesn’t feel like a woman. And vice versa.
But I write so much about women that I want to side with men now for a change and twist John F. Kennedy’s phrase “Don’t ask what the motherland can do for you. Ask what you can do for the motherland.” Don’t ask why the man didn’t do the dishes. Ask yourself if you see him as a man.
If you don’t want or can’t make a man feel like a man in a relationship with you, you both lose.
What does your experience say? Have you ever been able to consciously change the way you feel about a man? How did it change the relationship? published by econet.ru
P.S. And remember, just changing our consciousness – together we change the world! © econet