What a man wants from a woman?
Men and women often do not understand each other, misinterpret words and gestures, build relationships according to their only known pattern. All of this ultimately leads to mutual disappointment. Harmony does not occur. The relationship collapses before it even begins. Women think that men want “only one thing” from them. This often generates resentment against the entire male gender, and makes the development of a warm, kind relationship, a romantic partnership hopeless. It’s sad, it shouldn’t be that way.
When our editorial board conducted a survey on this topic, it turned out that, in fact, most people have a completely wrong perception of each other’s desires. Men admitted that they want from women not at all what they are mistakenly attributed to them. The results were unexpected. We will look at the main points, giving advice to women as well. They will help them understand what they are really able to give men, how they can attract them and how to keep them close to them.
1. Men want the most honest communication possible.
It is honesty in a relationship that is a top priority for men. They want a woman to talk about her desires straightforwardly, without hidden phrases and grimaces. Men are adherents of specificity. They do not want to spend a part of his life for solving your mysteries, unraveling incomprehensible desires, looking for hidden meanings. Often women are offended that a man “does not understand” them, although they do not ask him anything, do not explain. A man may not even know that there is a problem, that his girlfriend is not satisfied with something. Talk to a man. Be honest with him.
The reasons why women do not want to discuss with a man, the problems are different. Some are afraid to upset, reject, hurt a man. Others just think that he “would not understand. Hiding indigestion, the woman, without realizing it, humiliates the man. She finds it incapable of understanding, to resolve a difficult situation, to make a decision. Men are no less sensitive than women. They just need to be direct and honest about the problem, if there is one. He will be grateful for the truth and will respect you for your courage and sincerity.
Men are in dire need of basic, masculine honest communication without tantrums and constant criticism. One way to attract him is to build an inherently honest relationship.
2. Men want to see a self-sufficient, confident woman around.
Male representatives don’t want a woman to be with them out of desperation, either material or emotional. Men need an equal partner, a woman of personality. Don’t kill the personality in yourself, don’t blend in with the crowd. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. Women think, “He wants me to need him.” That’s not really true. Women think that men don’t appreciate the time they spend with them. Women accustomed to the phrase “the weaker sex” believe that their independence and confidence will scare a man away, put him on the run. This, too, is wrong.
Men desire the same thing that women desire: a partnership, no matter how unexpected that may sound. One effective way to retain a man and build a vibrant relationship with him is to be self-sufficient, to be confident, not afraid to be a person.
Men want a free relationship without the shadow of manipulation.
Men in general do not tolerate manipulation of any kind. Men are not enticed by the prospect of constantly trying to guess their partner’s thoughts, trying to interpret other people’s signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are determined to do. They don’t want to be tricked into taking the blame. They don’t want to gamble. Women believe they can only satisfy their needs with a man through manipulation. They find it necessary to constantly remind them that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think that men don’t want praise or recognition, and therefore tend to voice only criticism.
Men will not “bend” to manipulation of any kind. To “hook” a man and build a long-term relationship, you need to learn how to directly ask for what you want. Talk about your needs in every area of your life. Learn to praise, not just criticize. Don’t put pressure on a man to speed up the development of a relationship.
4. Men crave growth, their own responsibility, and ownership.
Men vitally need a partner who can laugh at themselves and have inner strength. They want to be with a woman who is emotionally stable, if possible. A woman who is dedicated to bettering herself personally. Who is responsible for her own emotional experience. Women think that men just want to have fun, have a good time. They think that men are not interested in modeling and developing relationships. Women think men only want supermodels. In fact, they want women who are emotionally mature, kind, supportive in love.
Being emotionally mature does not imply an absence of emotions. It’s the ability to manage your emotions. To attract a man and build a long-term relationship with him, you must not be afraid to take responsibility for your hopes and dreams.
5. Men want fidelity and commitment to a relationship.
Loyalty is an absolute necessity for men. In fact, men want women who can remain faithful for the sake of the relationship. Women think that all men want sex and that they will break off the relationship when they meet the next “pretty face.” They are convinced that men cannot be faithful. They think men aren’t eager to work on the relationship. This is a misconception.
Here’s news for those fair women who have come to terms with the assertion that all men lie: infidelity is equally unpleasant for both men and women. To build a great relationship, you must know that fidelity is a major component.
6. Men want women who can empathize and understand.
Many women feel it is their duty to diminish a man’s ego by denying him empathy. This is very misguided. After all, it doesn’t degrade a woman in any way, it doesn’t make her weaker or sillier. A man would like more words of praise, more recognition that he is right. They want to know that they are loved and appreciated. Women think men aren’t interested in their opinions. They try to hide their support, to hold back praise. Women also think that men don’t care about many things that are so important to women. So they criticize them, and criticism only breeds resentment.
Most men expect recognition and appreciation from women. It is recognition, sympathy and understanding instead of criticism – one of the most effective tools to build a relationship with a man, available to you.
So, men like in women (this data and opinion polls!): mind, caring, tenderness, grooming, light and cheerful nature, “fire in his eyes,” flexibility in communication. Notice, not a word about any special appearance.
As the author of a popular column, I also polled male readers on “What kind of women don’t you like?” And I can summarize all the responses (and they came from thousands of people over the course of six months) as follows.
Men do not like: nervous, nervous hysterical, constantly reflecting intellectuals, too smart women, those who “chew their nails”, anxious individuals, arrogant bitches and permanently offended by life ladies.
Again, notice – not a word about appearances. In fact, as for purely external data, there are as many men as there are opinions.
So, I continue. Most men, contrary to women’s beliefs, can’t stand stupid. Among men (and especially bachelors) is a very common axiom that, by definition, there are no smart women at all. But, in spite of this, the latter do occur. And even among blondes! So they have only one thing to do: to look, look and look. And you – to dissuade them from the above-mentioned misconception.
Not a very grave sin of women, but still some of us do not like phone chatter. Imagine: he tries for three hours to call his friend, with whom they were going to go out for a beer on Friday, and it is busy! Who else can hang on the phone line until blue in the face? Only his women! It’s a good thing they have cell phones now, or it would have been a disaster before.
It’s hard for us to carry you if you’re sloppy. Honestly. Very much we, men, do not like when women come to the meeting, for example, in a dirty sweater, or with greasy hair. Or, conversely, dry and lifeless.
Some people also don’t really like smokers. Above all those of us who don’t smoke. I, for example, quit a long time ago – I’m sick of it. And now I treat this habit with less reverence. Smoking is harmful – that’s understandable. But I don’t always want to kiss a girl like that either. Not that we want to lecture you, oh no! It’s just unpleasant that girls run out of cigarettes at the most inopportune moment. Now guess who has to go get them, huh?
Half of the people I interviewed also admitted to being repulsed by the unwary. “And her silly chatter at the movie theater. – wrote one reader. – Do girls really need to go to the movies to talk to their girlfriends? By the way, is she going to the movies. ” But that’s a whole other story.
Personally, I have a bad feeling about women who are constantly late. For me, it’s one of the most annoying traits of character. Late for a meeting, for work, for a picnic… Sometimes you realize that she can be late for her own wedding.
We don’t like so called “powder puffs for men’s brains.” If we go to his girlfriend – so necessarily overnight! And, as luck would have it, forget the charger for the phone. And for home girlfriend did not pay, so, of course, he does not work … What is the conclusion? That’s right – it’s a brain twister.
It’s not the best option – whimpering. It’s not a disaster, of course, but it’s annoying. And the dominant kind of whimpering all girls tend to have fits into four words: “I have nothing to wear at all!” Other subspecies encountered are: “You don’t love me at all!”, “I’m so fat!” No need to whine! More optimism!
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What do men want from women in relationships and in sex?
You need to write in a way that you can’t help but be read. I believe I have the magic of words.
The expert – Victoria Fomina.
Physician sexologist highest category, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.
Every loving girl or wife always tries to be close to her life partner. This is facilitated by many factors, such as the ability to listen, support in difficult moments and much more. But above all, you need to be well aware of what your man is on his mind, how he thinks, how he thinks. In this article you will find the most popular male desires, which will help you to become even closer to your young man.
It is worth stating at once that the issues that will be considered here are more about male psychology than sexual preferences, and this article is aimed more at understanding men.
He sometimes wants to be a little
It is traditionally believed that men should always be strong, always serious, set up solely to earn money and protect the family. But this is far from always the case. Judge for yourself, all seven days a week just unrealistic to walk around with an impenetrable face, sometimes you want to distract, relax. Not finding such opportunities, your fondest may fall into depression, or he may have a neurosis.
Women should appreciate if a man near her can at least briefly fall into childhood. After all, these days, many of the male species so need a man who will understand it in everything, even in some small pranks. Do not blame the man if he wants to buy a banal radio-controlled helicopter.
Let his hobby will not last long, let you have the feeling that the money and time wasted. But if you can support your young man in such a small undertaking, perhaps even fooling around with him, he will have a subconscious understanding that you are his close friend, that his woman will always be with him, that he can rely on it.
So before you say to your fiancé: “Well, what are you like a little?”, think about the fact that he may need it, and your participation in his little prank will help you understand him.
He needs to feel like a winner.
Another need that is common to all men, regardless of whether they are strong or weak individuals. It was originally inherent in man by nature that he had to be successful in order to continue his line. If a man was weak, he would die, but the strongest would win. Life is full of problems, and many that will meet your man, can knock him out for a long time.
Whether it is a demotion at work, or just the success of a neighbor, amid personal failures. A friend bought a new car and your do-gooder doesn’t have the money for one? Reassure him that he is not lacking in beauty, unlike his friend. Got a bad haircut? Praise his slender and beautiful body, admire his athletic muscles and torso. Gained a few extra pounds?
Tell him what you have it all the same attentive and charming, and that you can not think of anyone else. Although traditionally thought that only women like ears, in fact, this is not entirely true. Many men love to be comforted, just as much as they love to be comforted. They especially love to be proved that they are winners at everything.
If you manage to instill such a thought in the head of your partner, help him be always self-confident, then believe me, the result will not make you wait long, and you will see the first results very soon.
He needs your tenderness and care
Suppose your man is a serious and confident man who has a lot to achieve. But when he comes home from work, the first thing he gets is a new batch of tasks. “Feed the baby, take the dog for a walk, go to the store, finally make that damn outlet” – all of these seemingly insignificant responsibilities accumulate into one big problem day after day – your man won’t feel comfortable and cozy around you.
This can be the root cause of nightly binges, drinking with friends, and then delays at work and incomprehensible separation in the evenings. Especially if after a hard day’s work and household chores he will get a dry “I’m tired” from his wife, he will not want to be near her, will avoid her. Do not let this happen if you really care about the man.
Look at everything from another angle: yes, it’s difficult for you with children and cleaning the house hurts back, and those neighbors with his hammer, which hurts his head, but your partner at work too tired. And when he comes home, he expects to get rid of stress, that he will be welcomed with warmth and care.
So give your man something to help him smile, maybe for the first time all day. Give him a hug, tell him how much you missed him during the day, how much you were waiting for him to come back, kiss him and stroke his head. After all, what could be better than a warm glance of his beloved after a busy day at work? Probably nothing.
He likes to be trusted.
One of the main thing men want – that his girlfriend trusted him as herself, did not hide anything, said everything that she had in her heart. After all, really, it helps to feel needed, a really important link in the family. Yes, and such interaction is great to help build an even closer relationship with each other.
Even if your man does not know how to calm down, tell him something of your life, so he at least listened. Listen to his advice, if he gives it to you, thank him for his help and support. First, when a person shares something, he unwittingly feels better, and secondly, the one who listens, feels useful, feels trusted, in relation to himself.
He wants a hot and beautiful woman
As cliché as it may sound, statistics show that most men after 30 lack fire in a relationship. Every time he looks back, he remembers hot kisses, sudden sex in the kitchen, right on the table, your joint bath, with caresses, turning into foreplay, new underwear on his girlfriend, and how nice it is to take off her clothes.
Yes, over time, life takes you in its clinging paws and did not let go. Work, the constant problems, and then the kids – all this does not contribute to the mood to be beautiful, much less hot. All you want to do during the day is sleep. However, at least at the weekend try to please your man, if not a new outfit that costs money, then at least a beautiful dress that you have not put on for a long time.
If not mind-blowing sex with simultaneous orgasm, then a relaxing massage, turning into caressing explicit areas. Think of ways to help dilute your life. After all, a woman has always been the keeper of the hearth. And if you do not rekindle the fire in your man, in a moment it is able to do another.
Sometimes he needs something to fight for.
It’s understandable that a man wants a beautiful woman. But many also want his soulmate to be truly desirable. Do not go overboard – your partner should not feel that he is played with, make him jealous. This can pinch him, make him doubt you. However, it is worth it to show sometimes what the girl is capable of, just so your beau does not get bored. After all, many of the men are quite windy creatures.
If they become uninterested, they simply look for a new object for attention. It is disappointing when this happens after a few years of life together. To prevent this, you need to be able to show your partner that you are still as desirable as before and that he should fight for you. Many, by the way, secretly want this, they just do not know how to present it correctly.
Sometimes he still wants to be alone or with his friends.
Yes, many people need support. Yes, many like to be shown their love and their passion. But sooner or later one gets tired of everything. In the same way, feelings get bored. If you give your partner too much attention every day, to watch his every move, he simply get tired of it. Put yourself in his place. Would you like to have no personal space? Few people will respond positively.
Let your man go to the bar with friends, go fishing, just to walk in the old company. Naturally, these trips should not turn into a daily one-way trip, but many men sincerely wish to be alone, or among friends, a break from family life. There is no need to be offended, do not put pressure on your man.
You just have to take everything as it comes and give your partner the choice how to spend a particular evening.
He wants to be respected.
Most of the male population are (or want to be) the head of the family. And authority is one of the main things in life for such an individual. Any man likes to be treated with respect, to listen to his advice, to behave as he thinks right. Some, of course, go too far, but that is not a reason to stop listening to your partner right away, but to indulge every whim – not the best idea either. It is important in this matter to find the golden mean.
After all, many of the girls forget that they, too, are primarily a person, and their opinion should be taken into account. And some on the contrary, show their man a rag and a heel, when everyone in sight, take the reins for themselves, literally whipping their boyfriend. It is worth paying attention to all the requirements that puts forward a man, if possible, adhere to them, while not forgetting about their own importance. Then there will be a trusting relationship in the family for a long time, and there will be peace and order in the house.
He wants to feel sexy and desirable
Nothing heals the male ego like popularity with the opposite sex. Neither a high salary, nor a prestigious job, nor an expensive car will not replace for a man the excited look of a girl, especially when she is already with him. To have the glory of an excellent lover – this is one of the main desires of all men without exception.
For some men need to conquer as many hearts as possible, usually such men do not quickly create a family. And for someone enough to one, but forever, to please only her all her life. But no matter what, any member of the male sex likes to feel the burning gaze that undresses him naked. Not only is it insanely arousing, but it also perfectly raises the self-esteem of all guys without exception.
His main desire is a happy woman by his side.
What should be the main thing in a good relationship? The mutual happiness of both partners, not otherwise. After all, if someone remains unsatisfied with anything, it is an indication that there is some problem in the couple that needs to be solved as soon as possible. After all, an unresolved problem is the first step to family breakdown.
But let’s assume everything is okay. The wife is smart and beautiful, and the man earns a lot, is good-looking, and is generally a successful man. But the woman is constantly not enough: if she bought a new car, in a month she needs another, if she bought a new piece of jewelry, it gets boring after a week, if it is a holiday together, in a couple of days after it, the lady’s face again sad and tired.
What does the man feel? Despair and helplessness. After all, all his determined steps, all his actions do not lead to tangible results. His woman is unhappy with him, so he himself is doing something wrong. These kinds of thoughts can undermine the success of a man. His business will go awry, at work will come a series of failures, there may be bad habits.
In any good couple, the guy takes care of the girl and vice versa. And the greatest happiness brings the joy of a loved one, the feeling that he is truly happy to be with you. And, of course, nothing makes a man happier than knowing that his partner is constantly in seventh heaven, and it’s all thanks to him. The guy may not have a nice car, a country house and an apartment in downtown Moscow. But together with a happy girl he is able to feel cheerful and successful throughout his life.
To summarize, it can be noted that for the success of his man, a woman just needs to learn to understand him, and try to fulfill his desires, or to make them more feasible. It is through mutual assistance and understanding all the subtleties of psychology of the partner, it is possible to build a strong family that will not disintegrate from any minor problems and will bear many tests.