Unrequited love for a guy: read all the nuances

Top 12 tips on how to survive unrequited feelings for a man

Everyone is right well-known phrase: love is good mutual, you can not argue with it. It makes me want to remember the words of the Soviet soap opera “Big Break” by Svetlana Kryuchkova: “We choose, we are chosen, as it often does not coincide…”.

The collapse of expectations that the object with whom you are in love will respond with equally ardent feelings is akin to a kind of personal collapse. Sad, sometimes even bitter thoughts: I am not seen, not wanted, not noticed, moreover, completely indifferently rejected, swarm in my head. How to live with this, how to cope with the almost physical pain, pulling into the abyss of depression – we have tried to collect the answers in a single “healing” recipe from psychologists.

Possible causes of unhappy love

Before you drown in the abyss of despair, go back to the starting point, and try to soberly analyze whether your failed love had chances. Sometimes it happens that people are not destined to be together due to objective circumstances:

  • Your chosen one is firmly, consciously married, not looking for adventure on the side, fully committed to his mistress;
  • between you is such an age difference that even the most loyal to mesalliance people would be surprised if they knew about this love precedent;
  • your object of passion adherent of strict national traditions, will choose as a life companion only the girl his parents recommend, believe me, this also happens, and it is still good that he out of respect for you, does not compromise: assign you to the role of a temporary mistress-toy;
  • The man loves another woman, long ago and completely gave her his heart and no one around just does not notice, despite the tricks of other beauties;
  • You are too reminiscent of his appearance, the character of his former girlfriend, who left a bitter residue of disappointment in his heart, he does not want to rush like a moth to the new flame of sweet waiting for happiness and again to be severely burned;
  • he sees you only as a friend, his attitude toward you is purely platonic, he will not get out of the Friendzone under any circumstances;
  • Man alone is raising one or more children after a divorce, a tragic death or illness of his wife and does not want the little ones to have a new mother, he does not see anyone to replace his wife left;
  • The gentleman belongs to the category of womanizers, choosing perky girlfriends for an hour or a day, and you call him respect, as a colleague, a sensible specialist, a reliable companion for the interests, and he does not want to add to his list another victory in your face;
  • there is a problem in his house related to close relatives that has been going on for years, he does not see any way out of this situation in devoting a stranger to details, nor does he want to involve someone to help him, this is his cross to bear and he intends to carry it alone;
  • He knows for sure that his mother will never like you, when he is a typical “mother’s child” with all the ensuing consequences, and do you need such an option?

Unrequited love, how to understand and stop torturing yourself?

Life is much more multifaceted than any exciting melodrama or love affair. It is easy to add to our list a lot of quite good reasons for the coldness of gentlemen in relation to women who are in love with them. It’s impossible to remember and unravel everything. It is better to talk about what will help to cope with the problem of “broken heart.

How to survive unrequited love with a man

Love is undoubtedly a bright, joyful, delightful feeling, but what an unhappy person it makes when everything is hopeless. We do not want unrequited impulses to destroy your soul, our devoted reader.

Under any circumstances that make your romantic attachment losing, having no chance to exist, there are tactics that help you to survive in the crucible of feelings trampled by reality:

  • Reduce or minimize meetings, communication, intersections at work and study with your chosen one, up to complete ignoring and removing him from his friends and followers in social networks, half measures will not lead to positive revenge, do not feed hope with empty handouts;
  • any forced communication turn into a “working meeting on professional issues”, no lyrics and retreats, if possible, make sure that you were replaced in the group, the team to another colleague of the corporate tasks;
  • do not be seduced by such an illusion as “we’ll just be friends for a little while longer, what if anything”, nothing but new pain such deception will not bring you, only a complete separation, separation, expulsion “out of sight” can be effective;
  • do not blame yourself for not paying attention to you, the reasons for this fact may not be what you imagined, and “your prince on a white horse” is quite possible not a character from a fairy tale, and you all create an idol of him – cool down;
  • If you have in your “stash” there are cute things that he unwittingly gave you for March 8, on his birthday, or on any other occasion, as a good friend of your surroundings, feel free to get rid of this “cargo”, all the time coming into your eyes, in your life there will be a lot of gifts from other men;
  • if you have mutual “memories” of going to the cinema, to the exhibition, picnic trips with friends, when you were in the clouds of feelings, and he was only present at some event or filled the emptiness at his leisure, don’t scroll through the frames in your head, refuse to listen to the tunes that accompanied the trip, stop analyzing how it was – it is a dead end;
  • do not return to the places where you were together, do not wander dull as a ghost through the alleys of parks where he bought you an ice cream, even for walks with your dog, if they used to pass together with him choose another corner of the city;
  • Do not devote in their love “trouble” all the female relatives, friends, colleagues, fellow students, classmates, your feelings – it’s personal, the public to discuss them do not deserve, and so to the mockery behind the back not long: out went our poor poor poor lover, why do you this label;
  • Occupy your day to the minute and even seconds, so as not to constantly inflame the soul grieving thoughts about what did not happen, for pity – no breaks in the schedule, on the contrary, it’s time to tighten English, learn to bake Mom’s signature cake, beadwork, or how else replenish the piggy bank of their female virtues;
  • finally agree to go with a single girlfriend to a southern resort, visit your grandmother in the countryside and re-polis all the beds with strawberries “in spite of all the romantic enemies”, healthy physical labor or colorful experiences in travel heal, be healthy – it’s not a myth;
  • Flirt freely without guilt in treason with a chosen one with a cute stranger in a cafe, smile at a nice guy in the subway, you’re not going to the registry office with them, but make sure your feminine charms never hurt;
  • If you suddenly feel that you quite thin, not helping any tactics to reduce the degree of love, exhausted all other possibilities – do not hesitate and make an appointment with a psychologist, honestly, tell him that you can not cope with a dull bleak state and slipping into depression.

That’s just do not rush headlong into a new novel without feelings, do not run hastily married the first guy who offered, do not make a mess of passing bedfellows, sobering up in the morning will be harsh and painful. Do not involve in your story other men who are not guilty in your seeming fiasco.

Breaking free from the captivity of unrequited love is quite a challenge. Accompanied by successes and comebacks, but we’re sure you’ll have patience, and you’ll get through it all.

What to do with unrequited love for a man and how to survive it

Hello, dear female readers. Today we will talk about what is unrequited love for a man. You will learn how it can manifest itself, what the consequences are fraught with. Get acquainted with how to act in order to try to win your loved one. You will know the algorithm of action necessary to get rid of feelings. Find out what to do if the unrequited love took over your heart.

Options .

A girl can have unrequited feelings for a guy who dumped her, for a young man with whom she has not yet had a relationship, and for a public person with whom there is no chance of even meeting in the real world.

  1. To a celebrity, be it a singer, actor, or magazine cover model. These feelings are mythical, and love exists only in the fantasies of the young person. As a rule, feelings go away when a worthy suitor appears in real life.
  2. To an ex-boyfriend, with whom the affair has already ended. The young man realized that he did not feel serious feelings for his partner, perhaps he was just using her. And the girl’s heart is bursting with pain, she suffers, because she loves him very much. Some young ladies in such a situation, withdraw into themselves, shut away from everyone, and sometimes decide to commit suicide. Smart girls do everything to prove to the ex that he lost the princess, do everything to make the guy regret that he parted with such a beauty.
  3. To a young man who doesn’t even have a clue about her feelings. Some girls decide to go straight to the big game, they approach the guy they like and directly declare their feelings. And it’s good if the guys have known each other before. In a situation where the young man does not even guess about the existence of this girl, after her recognition, he will be confused and certainly will not reciprocate. In a good way, in such a situation, you just need to get closer to the young man, to do everything so that he will notice you. Who knows, maybe the guy will give birth to reciprocal feelings and he will make the first step.

Possible manifestations

There is a feeling that no one around understands what is in her heart. The girl is greatly mistaken, because almost everyone in life has had unrequited feelings. Unrequited love for a guy can be expressed by various reactions.

  1. The girl closes herself up, does not want to talk to anyone, trying to fence herself off from the world.
  2. The woman lies in bed all day, does not want to do anything. All thoughts are about how to get rid of the feelings that have filled her heart.
  3. Someone is eating their unrequited feelings in the literal sense of the word. As a consequence, she puts on extra pounds, which lowers her own self-esteem. Although at the moment she does not care.
  4. The person stands at the open window, walking on the edge, not afraid of what may happen. There are no thoughts of relatives, of her mother, of her feelings and worries.
  5. The girl expresses the pain born in her heart through poetry, music.
  6. In order not to think about her beloved, the woman puts her hand to the bottle of alcohol more and more often, until she finally drinks herself to death.
  7. Serious thoughts of suicide arise. The girl may get drunk on pills or take a very large dose of sleeping pills, possibly a vein bandage. She believes that life without her beloved has no meaning. It is not uncommon for this kind of reaction to end in death, especially at a young age.
  8. The acceptance that love will never be mutual. As a consequence, the woman decides to go to a monastery, to devote herself to God.
  9. The girl tries to switch to another guy in order to stop thinking about the object of her infatuation. To this end, there may be an occasional romance that can only temporarily assuage the need for love.
  10. A girl whose chosen one does not reciprocate loses all sense of life, ceases to be interested in the usual things, she no longer cares about her appearance. She does not notice anyone around her, does not hear the appeal of her relatives, cannot listen to them.

Attempting to conquer

If you are sure that you strongly love the young man, and he does not even notice you, you can try to conquer the guy.

  1. While standing next to him, behave impregnable and as cold as possible. In doing so, try to constantly be in his field of vision. It may take a lot of time for the young man to notice you, but he will definitely pay attention to your person. In addition, during this period of time you may change your attitude towards your chosen one. Then it is possible that this turn of events: the guy will cease to be interesting, while he will really fall in love. In fact, you will change roles, because in this case it will be about unrequited love in a man.
  2. Another effective method is to show a special interest in the hobbies of the chosen one. If the girl herself is interested in his hobbies, they will have topics for conversation. The young man will be comfortable to be around her.

How to act in order to forget him

Before thinking about how to get rid of unrequited love, you need to make sure that it really is. There are cases where a girl has mistakenly thought that her love is not mutual. You also have to deal with the fact that the feelings are not just an ordinary crush.

At first, all attempts to get your loved one out of your head will not be successful. Everything around you reminds you of him, every sound, smell. And the only thought in your head is “I love him. Such love is most difficult in the period of adolescent maximalism. Feelings are intensified by hormones, and the case may end very tragically. You should know that the cause of 60 percent of teenage suicides is unrequited love.

  1. Cry. Tears can help get rid of unnecessary stress. Allow yourself to get angry, to scream, it helps to splash out accumulated pain.
  2. You can feel sorry for yourself, or cry on the vest of a friend or mother, but you do not have to do it for too long.
  3. Take care of yourself, your appearance, improve your own self-esteem, make sure that you deserve more than this man.
  4. Try to hate your loved one. As they say from love to hate …
  5. Look at what is happening with a smile on your face. Years later, remembering these feelings, you will smile.
  6. Stop thinking about your loved one, recognizing the smell of his perfume in the crowd, looking at the places he likes to visit.
  7. Get to know a good young man. This will give you the opportunity to switch to another man.
  8. Find a hobby you can dedicate your free time to.
  9. Share your emotional feelings with your parents. Over time you will feel better. This is the way to get rid of psychic wounds.
  10. You must understand that time is the best way to get rid of difficult feelings, to forget unhappy love.

A person is not able to get rid of his love in an instant. For some it takes years, and some continue to remember their loved one until the end of their days. The main thing is to be able to cope with this feeling in order to avoid serious consequences of unrequited love.

I had unrequited feelings in my life too. It was when I was a teenager and was a simple sympathy, though it didn’t seem that way at the time. In sixth grade, on Valentine’s Day, I gave a Valentine’s card to a ninth grader. Naturally, he was surprised and avoided me from that moment on. My classmate, on the other hand, had an unrequited love for her teacher. The girl suffered through all the years of her studies. In her senior year she accidentally met a guy who made her feel much stronger than the feelings she had for her teacher. After graduating from university, she got married and never thought of unrequited love again.

Tips

Let’s take a look at what to do if you are unlucky enough to have unrequited love.

  1. If a woman realizes that she needs to get rid of the feelings that have filled her heart, then she should engage in self-talk, try to convince herself that love is an obsession.
  2. It helps to cope with feelings by changing the focus. It’s best to change the scene, go on a trip, find a new hobby, completely devote all your free time to him. You can try to go with your head into work. But do not be too hung up on it, become a workaholic.
  3. Be sure to get rid of everything that reminds you of the object of love. If you have his phone number – delete it, and do not go to his page on a social network, do not look at his photos.
  4. Reduce contacts to a minimum or stop communicating with him and his mutual friends. Expand your social circle, meet new people, visit new places.
  5. You should not run to fortune-tellers for advice, to grannies for a potion, and even more so, you should not try to enchant the object of love. Either you will be paid, or you can hurt yourself or your beloved.
  6. No matter how painful, no matter how hard it was, do not stop communicating with loved ones, do not stop doing familiar things, do not give up your hobbies.
  7. You don’t need to drown your pain in alcohol or try to eat your problems. It won’t get better, but your body and figure will suffer severely.
  8. It is unacceptable to think about suicide. Think about your family, about those who really love you. Realize that the person you’re in love with is not worthy of such a sacrifice. Many girls have experienced this painful moment, found the strength to move on, and eventually met their destiny. You must also remember that a suicide attempt can end up with a disability or a characteristic diagnosis for placement in a psychiatric hospital.
  9. There must be an acceptance that the person who does not reciprocate is not worthy of your feelings. Realize that he is not the one sent to you by fate. Time will pass and you will realize that these feelings are not true, this love will be remembered with a smile on your face. In life there will be a man who can give his care, affection, tenderness, will be able to truly love, and you will answer him in return.
  10. Some girls are not able to get rid of their own undivided feelings. In this case, do not be embarrassed, it is better to seek help from a psychologist.

A girl who will be able to survive unrequited love, will harden her character, will be able to improve herself, will find the strength to live on.

Now you know how to survive unrequited love to the man. The main thing to understand that many are going through this. You now have two ways, or try to achieve the attention of a loved one, or to understand that this is not your man, that you need to move on, with time life will improve, a man will appear who will be worthy of your attention and will be able to make you happy.

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