What to do so that her husband does not cheat: a woman’s approach to male infidelity
Many women who are married, sooner or later think about the fact that their man can “go left”. Do not allow the betrayal of a loved one can, if you take the situation under control and properly build a relationship with her husband.
Even the happiest family can fall apart overnight, if a man will stumble and decide to diversify his life by cheating. Forgive such a betrayal is difficult, but women can influence their loved ones, so that they did not come to mind the idea to replace his beloved with another girl.
Start improving your family life right now, and then you will be sure that everything in your family is going as it should. Remember that the relationship between a man and a woman is always a mutual work, so don’t be afraid to include your husband in the fight for a trusting relationship without cheating and betrayal.
1. Before you panic and wring your hands at the mere thought of cheating, calm down. Deal with the situation and think about whether your husband has a reason to think about cheating. Do not be afraid to ask yourself these questions, and then you will be easier to understand what is wrong in your relationship. Talk to your lover on such topics openly, and you will understand that may provoke her husband to betrayal, and thus be able to avoid it.
2. Often in the fact that her husband was unfaithful, blame the woman. Think about whether you give enough time to your man, whether you are able to listen to him and understand when he needs support and when it is better to leave a tired man alone so he regained strength.
Do not think that the endless nagging and questions about where he was and what he did, will strengthen your marriage. Try to make sure that your husband always sees you as the perfect woman he once chose as his wife and mother of his children. By understanding what needs of the man you are not satisfying enough, you can correct the mistakes and keep the family together.
3. Pay attention to your intimate life. Even though passion cools off over time, physical intimacy is important. Cheating can happen because you have a constant “headache” and you won’t let your husband near you. Talk to your loved one about this topic. It is important for a man to know that he remains for you to be desired and loved, because otherwise he will find a way to satisfy his ambitions on the side.
Think about how your relationship began. Surely in the past you were a passionate couple, which means that now you can love each other with the same fervor. Try something new, so as not to turn your intimate life into a monotonous routine called “marital duty”. You owe no one and nothing, but if you love your husband and value the relationship, you will be able to overcome difficulties, complexes or other reasons that do not allow a full life.
Cheating can happen if a man gets bored, if he is not involved in household chores and marital life, because many women take on too much responsibility.
Idleness and a desire to be needed pushes men to cheat. Learn to trust your husband, ask him to help you cook dinner, clean and repair. Be sure to thank him for his help, admire what he knows and what he has learned. A busy man who is constantly receiving praise from his wife is unlikely to think about cheating. He will have no reason to seek happiness on the side.
5. Infidelity can happen because the man begins to lose interest in the woman who is constantly near him. In this case, it is not unreasonable to give reason for mild jealousy. Let your spouse knows that you are a beautiful woman who is of interest to other men. Proprietary feelings will make him protect you and your family from encroachment. And while the faithful are busy defending, cheating he will have no time.
He does not need to know that the flowers from an unknown admirer you have ordered anonymously, and sms flirting sent your best friend with someone else’s number. You do not know who the admirer, but tell your husband that you are interested in a strange man, you must. You are an honest and faithful wife, which means that your beloved should enter the fight for your love.
Prevent cheating is possible if you really want to. Remember that novelty in the relationship constantly keeps both spouses in tone, which means you need to change and improve. New hair, makeup and attractive clothes will help with this. The more often a man will see a beautiful woman smiling next to him, the less he will want to look at others.
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What should I do to keep my husband from cheating? 5 lessons
“Husband can cheat” – this is a natural fear for a wife. It arises in everyone. Whether you put on an engagement ring yesterday, or a few years ago, one day comes the realization – cheating can happen to anyone.
I’ve found several feminine approaches to the problem of cheating.
- “If a man cheated, it means – it’s my fault, something he was not enough in the marriage with me.
- “All men cheat, it’s in their nature. It can’t be helped. “
- “It was her, the Mistress, who seduced him! She hunted him, she’s not ashamed to break up a family.
- “I am the best for my husband. He won’t cheat on me.”
What is your attitude?
Regardless of your attitude toward cheating on men, you can be safe from this scourge.
You think I’m going to tell you how to find his phone password? Or what pheromones to smear yourself with? No, that’s not my approach. Although, there is something to the pheromone idea. But first, let’s discuss the more elaborate ways.
Lesson 1: Love with pleasure
Women’s wisdom says, “A man doesn’t leave a place where he’s had enough sex.”
Life tells us: they go from there, too.
One client told me about his wife’s behavior. Apparently this wife was guided by this very wisdom, which is why she never refused her husband intimacy. At some point the man realized that she was (quote): “Stupidly – tolerant !” This discovery did not fuel his interest in his wife, but greatly cooled her down.
But a fact is a fact – if the husband and wife only sleep in their bedroom, the husband begins to want to go into someone else’s bedroom. So the first lesson to wives – enjoy sex with your husband.
How do you achieve that? You have to solve a lot of your problems. Fatigue, stress, irritation, etc. Yeah, it’s hard. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many cheating wives.
In most families, the husband’s libido is higher than that of the wife. The man is the initiator of intimacy. The husband’s pleasure becomes the main goal. “So he doesn’t want to go out.” But men are not as selfish as we women sometimes think. The more you want your husband, the more he wants only you.
Lesson 2: Demonstrate trust.
Personally, I completely agree with the opinion that “if a man wants to change – he will. Even if you make your husband to account for every step.
Any man will confirm that the constant checks are humiliating. Do you want to be with a Man, or a Womanizer? If the first option, then abandon the secret (and explicit) control. It’s better to voice your concerns directly.
But sometimes women flirt with trust. Sending your husband to a hot country alone for a long time after a quarrel is unwise. Common sense should not go against trust.
Then how do you demonstrate your trust to your husband?
The answer is without disconnecting from everyday life. In conversations, discussing situations. In trusting conversations.
Please don’t say, “You’re not going anywhere! “Such a phrase makes you want to run, dropping your slippers. If you have to say, “I’m glad we’re the same: “I’m glad we have the same attitude to the subject of cheating, and that fidelity for both of us – above all. It is better to solve problems in the family than to find a place to hide. Sounds a little pathetic, but beat these words yourself, put them in the context of a conversation with her husband. Or come to an individual consultation, I will help you formulate as necessary.
Yes, if the cheating has already happened, open access to correspondence helps restore confidence. I wrote about this in the article “Can you restore trust after infidelity? 7 Signs of Restoring Trust.” But don’t distrust your husband by keeping him “under the hood.”
Lesson 3: Stay true to yourself.
Unfortunately, cheating, even in places where they often love and where they do not check the phone.
Lovely ladies, sometimes our husbands are bored with us. But do we always have fun with them? What’s more, are we always comfortable with us?
Can you say that you are satisfied with yourself, your life, your work, your self-development?
You try to create a home, raise children. Are you sure that you have not dissolved into everyday life? That you are still an interesting person?
Don’t go to extremes. Being a good hostess and mother does not mean “Forgetting about yourself.” Paying attention to your development is very important. Set goals, achieve them, grow as a person, seek happiness within yourself.
Then the husband from time to time will feel like a knight, fighting for the heart and hand of the lady. So what if the lady is always the same.
Lesson 4: Labor therapy – for the husband.
When I wrote the previous paragraph, I thought of those of my clients who are “both smart and beautiful. And still – husbands cheat. What prescription would I add for them? Don’t take it all on yourself.
“I’m spinning, I’m spinning! All by myself! Oh, I’m so good! If it wasn’t for me, everyone would be lost” – some wives think. They’re wrong. If the wife all the time spinning, then what should the husband do?
First of all, his wife is tired all the time, tortured. She doesn’t want anything (see lesson #1).
Secondly, the wife holds everything in her hands, the man is like the fifth leg of a dog. What’s he for? Just carrying money into the family is boring.
Third, the wife manages even where the man should be by default. So she’s “cooler” than her husband? Humiliating.
You need your husband’s help. In dealing with strategic issues. In parenting. In life. Yes, I understand, waiting two months for him to figure out the faucet in the bathroom is a horror-horror. But it has to be done. It’s his job as a husband.
Just remember that “sawing” is not an option. To remind, but not to “nag. That’s when it matters HOW it’s said. Again, this can be learned.
Lesson 5. Talk to him.
One client told me:
“A while back, my husband and I were figuring things out-figuring things out. I could not get into the mind of what he wants me to. Either he wasn’t explaining it well or I was fixated on me. But then everything became calm. He stopped picking on me. I calmed down. I thought everything was finally okay. Suddenly I found out about the affair! I realized later that it wasn’t “okay” at the time. My husband just got away from me. Stopped trying to get through to me.
Talk! Even if your husband is a reticent, there are still ways to connect with him. Are you interested in your husband? What do you want to talk to him about? What does he like to talk about? One way or another, you get a better understanding of the man in conversation. What worries him? What makes him happy? Even if the conversation is completely on the abstract subject, you feel a sense of unity with your chosen one.
Especially not to hide fears. Sooner or later they will turn into concerns, suspicions. As long as you have mutual understanding with your husband, discuss your own worries, enlist his support.
Work on your mistakes.
Cheating is not a disease. It is a symptom of an illness.
Family psychologists view the family as a system. The husband and wife are a two-link system. When there is a problem in the system, the system tries to come to a balance. Very often this requires an additional link. A friend, a psychologist, a mother-in-law, or – a mistress. These extra heroes can move the tension out of the system onto themselves.
If you feel that your husband may be cheating on you, there is no need to panic. You need to try to figure out where in the system there was a glitch. Why it took such a “balancing”. Then there is a chance to cure the “sick” family.
But, of course, it is better to just not get sick. I hope by doing my 5 lessons you will do a good “preventive work”. And I’ll be happy to answer your questions in the comments.
(c) Author’s article, original at www.natalubina.ru
Only with me you can have a consultation on the author’s method – a one-week written consultation. A detailed description of the method on the page The method of Lubina