How to save a relationship: tips for guys
A man is a versatile and self-sufficient person. As a rule, he has many interests and hobbies that occupy a huge part of his life.
And yet, no matter how busy and self-sufficient a man is, sooner or later he will have to become part of a serious relationship with a woman. The path to a long-term relationship is dictated by nature itself, which is pointless to resist, the only thing left to do is to follow its manifestations.
Despite the presence of a certain inevitability of a long-term relationship with a woman in your life, it is a process that you can control.
Of course, you should not get hung up and fully concentrate on how your relationship with your girlfriend develops, being a fatalist is our everything.
However, there are certain rules that you have to follow in order to keep your relationship with a girl alive.
Give the girl what she needs (not to be confused with what she wants) and she will never leave you.
1. your full responsibility.
Your total responsibility in a relationship means that you make all the decisions.
A large number of women note that many men lack initiative, lack confidence, and are incapable of making decisions.
Simple examples of instances where you have to make decisions:
- Where you will spend the weekend.
- What time and place you will meet.
- What table in the cafe you will sit at, etc.
In principle, with a woman is simple enough: know what you want, and go to your goal. The woman, in turn, will follow you. You don’t have to ask the girl what to do and how to do it, if these questions are within your competence.
If in a relationship you can’t make decisions and you’re not responsible for your woman, there are few options for the development of your relationship:
- The girl will leave you.
- The girl will make decisions for you, and you will turn from a man into a boy.
This is not a fun prospect, so remember that as a man you have to take total responsibility for yourself, your life, and the lives of those closest to you.
In order to maintain a relationship with a girl, you should know that you are the main person in the relationship.
You are both the shield and the sword of your relationship. You lead, she follows. You conquer this life, and the girl helps you and is the motivator.
What else shows your dominance in a relationship with a girl: you’re the one who decides where, when and how you’ll have s*x with the girl.
3. Swinging on Emotions.
Sure, you’re a king and a god to a girl, but that’s not enough. To keep a girl and make her fall in love with you even more, you have to be different.
You need to show not only your strong and masculine qualities. You are a human being, and you can have different emotional states. The girl has to know that you’re not a stone, that you’re just like her – flesh and blood.
Within reason, show the girl your different qualities. Show yourself to be a fun adventurer, and a serious, thoughtful man. Be firm and courageous, but sometimes ask her to hug you tight and dissolve for a moment in her tenderness.
In short, nothing complicated.
4. Interacting with the 4 components of a woman
- Female. What this manifestation of a woman expects from you is constant quality s*x. Once you’ve decided to have a serious relationship with a woman, you can’t slack off.
- Woman-child. You have to take care of your girlfriend, protect her, feel sorry for her and be there for her whenever possible. In general, you are “Mr. strong man’s shoulder.” At the same time, do not forget that you can not pamper children.
- Woman-Mother. Women are so built that they like to take care of someone, and you need to let her take care of you. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to be a problem for you.
- Woman friend. A woman is just as wonderful a person as you are. There are women in this world with whom it is really very interesting to spend your time. Such girls can give not only the satisfaction of primary male needs, but also an interesting, pleasant communication. Study the girl, her qualities and features, and let her get to know you.
5. You have to be ready to drop everything and leave
Yes, boy, it’s at times like this that a girl starts to realize that you have balls. Only now she’s sure of it, not when you had your first s*x.
Women are skilled manipulators. Any girl will sooner or later try to subdue you, and it’s up to you whether this insidious scheme will pass or not. You fell for it – you became a wimp and automatically transferred to the role of the temporary patch until a real man appears in her life.
If you are sure that you are being manipulated, if it is clear to you that she went too far in a certain situation (for example, she hangs up the phone for no apparent reason during a conversation or she calls you dirty words), you must explain to the girl that you will not tolerate such attitude. If the person doesn’t agree – fuck off.
In order to keep the relationship, the girl must be afraid to lose you. This can only lead to this when she realizes that you are ready to leave everything and leave. If the woman left her fear of your loss, consider that the trigger to break up your relationship is already cocked.
6. The girl must have some lack of you.
To explain it this way: the girl should want to see you a little more often than she actually sees you. To do this you should have your own things to do and interests that you periodically turn off from her immediate attention.
Such things and interests can include:
- Work (business) .
- Hobbies (hobbies), etc.
Honestly, no one is immune from the breakup of a relationship. But if that happens, there are other important things in your life that you can divert your attention to. Even based on this position, you should have your own things to do and interests to pursue.
7. No Jealousy.
If you want to know how to keep a relationship alive, jealousy is definitely not your helper in this science.
If you’re jealous, you’re showing the girl that you’re afraid of losing her. Loving, trembling, and fearing is a woman’s position, and you shouldn’t take it. If you are afraid of losing something or someone, you will lose it.
It is better to say in words: “You are very dear to me, I would not like to lose you. But you don’t have to throw tantrums and scenes of jealousy.
Besides, the presence of jealousy is a matter of your self-esteem. If you are a self-sufficient and confident guy, you know that you are the best for your girlfriend, and so send such a display of emotion in the form of jealousy far away.
8. Shared Purposes, Interests and Values
Shared goals and values are the foundation on which relationships are built.
Expand the circle of your common interests. Start playing sports (not necessarily in the same gym), join in some kind of art, go fishing together. Nothing brings people together like common interests.
The development of harmonious relationships is possible only when people look not at each other, but in the same direction.
9. Don’t forget about the existence of other girls
Please do not treat the title of this paragraph as a call to commit adultery.
Anything can happen in life. It is not uncommon for a family to fall apart after 15 years together, and it is the woman who leaves the man. And what is a man like that going to do? How is he going to find another woman worthy of him if he has completely forgotten how to meet girls?
That is why, and in order for your girlfriend to realize there is interest in you from other women, say compliments to other girls sometimes, flirt with them. This can be as colleagues at work, or just a girl passing by who is worthy to be told how good she looks.
Feel the interest in yourself from women, but don’t go overboard.
How do you keep a relationship going? Become worthy, and let your girlfriend ask herself a similar question.
Wise advice to men: how to behave in a relationship
The Internet is replete with articles about women’s wisdom and the ability to build a relationship from a position of love and acceptance. And how should a man behave with the woman he loves? Psychologists Barbara de Angelis, Pavel Zygmantovich, Yulia Berdnikova and Carl Rogers gave wise advice to men how to behave correctly in a couple.
Tips for single men
Unmarried men in relationships often act on instinct. Few rely on the wisdom of the older generation – father, grandfather and great-grandfather. The approach to relationships is formed not only the upbringing, but also public opinion and personal qualities of the person.
What advice is there for men in relationships? One should not discuss past relationships, confess love without feeling it, make decisions on emotions, promise but not do. It is necessary to observe the norms of decency and behavior, to grow and develop as a person.
Consider what will help men to avoid fatal mistakes and maintain harmony in a couple.
What to do to maintain harmony in the relationship
Satirist Mikhail Zhvanetsky once said: “Wisdom does not always come with age. Sometimes age comes alone. In many ways, he was right, because personal maturity comes later than physical maturity.
Here are some wise recommendations that will allow unmarried men to find a mate and develop a relationship:
- Learn to control your desires, elevate your feelings above your instincts. Don’t view a woman only as a sexual object. Create a serious relationship with one woman, give her your feelings, attention and time. Respect her as a person.
- Talk about love only if you feel it, confident in your feelings.
- Confidence and strength are natural qualities of a man, strengthen and develop them. Play sports, stimulate the innate talent of the hunter and producer.
- Keep your word and keep your promises. , author of “Secrets about women, which every man should know,” convinced that women need to make plans. Do it together, set goals, look for solutions, stipulate options and choose the best.
- Women’s self-esteem also depends on how it relates to her beloved man. Listen to the woman, give her a chance to express herself.
- Treat a woman’s caprices and mood swings normally, consider them part of the personality of the person you love and respect. Allow a woman to be herself.
Talk about love only if you experience it: Unsplash/Priscilla Du Preez
What should be avoided in a relationship?
There are things that negatively affect the relationship between partners and, despite the passion and mutual interest, lead to resentment, coldness and separation. Love alone is not enough, says Paul Zygmantovich, an adherent of evidence-based psychology. Tips will tell a man what to avoid, so as not to destroy love and respect:
- It is unacceptable to consider dating other women while in a relationship.
- An unkempt appearance is unacceptable.
- Do not give false hopes to a woman who wants to marry and have children. Don’t take away her chance of happiness by living with her without marriage.
- Upon learning of the pregnancy, share with the woman the moral and material responsibility for the child.
- Learn calm and balance. Control your emotions, do not complain and do not grumble.
- Do not discuss with your favorite woman ex-partner, his sexual experience.
- Never point directly to the shortcomings of the partner, the peculiarities of appearance and physiology.
- Do not stop developing as a person and specialist. Strive for self-realization, career growth and spiritual self-improvement. Stagnation is a direct path to oblivion.
Do not insult a woman, be rude or raise your hand against her: Unsplash/Eric Ward
Tips for married men
Men who get married gain a new lease on life. The very fact that they choose to take responsibility for the woman they love and their future together is worthy of respect. Marriage is the logical result of a man and woman’s relationship, but it is no guarantee that love will last forever. Wise advice for men in marriage can help keep and strengthen the marriage.
How to keep your family together and maintain family relationships
Being the head of the family is hard work. What tips for men will help in family life? You need to see your wife not only as a sexual partner and a person who creates comfort in the home, takes care of the family, but also as a person who has strengths and weaknesses. Love her different, surround her with care, be able to forgive and be strict where appropriate. For example, when making decisions about health and safety.
Here are wise tips to strengthen and improve the family relationship:
- Be a pride and example to your wife, find your purpose in life, and realize your potential. By doing what you love, you will always be an interesting and valuable companion for her.
- Take care of the family’s financial well-being, make important decisions, and support your wife. Earn enough to provide her and the children with everything they need for a normal life, help your elderly parents. Always strive for more.
- Be a generous and noble husband. Give gifts, spoil family members.
- Lead a healthy lifestyle. Teach your children to play sports, eat right. Get rid of bad habits, be a good example to follow.
- Spend enough time alone with his wife, value romance.
- Modern family institution determines the social development of society, says Yulia Berdnikova, author of “The Psychology of a Happy Marriage. The Art of Relationships. Be involved in the education of children, participate in their lives every day.
- Support family rituals and form values that strengthen the marriage. Common business, joint sports, common hobbies and leisure are obligatory attributes of the happy family.
- Learn to live through emotions, crises of different ages, do not make a tragedy out of it, do not take it out on your wife. If you cannot cope on your own, you should consult a specialist – a psychologist or a psychotherapist.
- Accept and love yourself, form a healthy self-esteem. He who loves himself, he is able to love and respect other people. But do not confuse healthy self-esteem with selfishness and narcissism. Carl Rogers, author of “Marriage and its Alternatives. Positive Psychology, believes that becoming yourself is one of the four basic elements of marriage.
Accept and love yourself and build a healthy self-esteem: Unsplash/Nicolas Horn
Acts unworthy of a married man
There are some things a wise man won’t do under any circumstances, not because he’s forbidden, but because he values family and doesn’t want to risk what has been years in the making. What should be avoided by those who want to preserve their marriage and their spouse’s trust?
Here are the taboos for the married man:
- Don’t ask your wife for help if you can handle the task yourself. Do so only as a last resort.
- Do not compromise where you have to grovel and cajole. Do not choose between family and work, mother and wife, family and mistress.
- Do not have affairs on the side. Chilled to his wife, honestly say so and express a desire to work on the relationship. Otherwise, break up, allow the woman to be happy with another man.
- Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. Learn to recognize manipulation, speak calmly about it and firmly nip it in the bud.
- Avoid displays of jealousy. This is a sign of low self-esteem. Work on yourself and talk quietly with your wife about your feelings.
- Never put your own interests above the interests of the family, know how to combine them, seek balance.
Never put your own interests before those of the family: Unsplash/Jessica Rockowitz
Remember that behind every successful man is a worthy woman. Learn wisdom from those you consider an example. Appreciate your partner, build, strengthen and cherish your relationship so you can live a happy and fulfilling life next to the man you love.