The rules of effective communication

Features of the principles and rules of effective communication

Researcher G. Breuning formulated the following rules for effective communication:

  1. The use of long sentences can make it difficult to understand the meaning of the text. Short sentences (consisting of 8 to 15 words) are more visual, they are easier to understand and perceive.
  2. A strong tool of persuasion is the voice, because it can contribute to both sympathy and antipathy towards a person.
  3. Pauses are a very powerful, but often underestimated tool of influence. They soothe, enhance attention, and can emphasize what is being said. After long pauses, the topic of conversation can easily be changed.
  4. The use of verbs in speech allows us to enrich the conversation. They help to make statements more visual and can prompt the interlocutor to specific actions. In turn, the use of adjectives in speech helps give sentences something personal.
  5. The more abstract a concept is, the more multivalent its interpretation can be. On this basis, at the very beginning of a conversation, it is necessary to explain to the interlocutor the meaning of what is put into a phrase.

To these statements, it is necessary to add some other tips:

  1. Speak enough so that the person understands the meaning of the statement. You should not overload a phrase with details and overload the interlocutors with unnecessary unnecessary information. If anything, it can be done later.
  2. It is not necessary to deviate from the topic of conversation.
  3. It is important to avoid ambiguity in statements.

Before you start a conversation, it is worth preparing. Only the most savvy person can come to a negotiation without preparation and remember everything he wants to say, to present it in a certain logical sequence, without deviating from the main topic.

It is appropriate to write down key words on small cards. First of all, this can help structure one’s own thoughts. Also, it will allow you to focus on the key components of your own speech. Moreover, in case you forget some information in a situation of conversation with people, thanks to the information cards it will be possible to restore it in your memory.

It is important not to argue over nothing. In the event that you like to get into an argument and pressure people, it can lead to a lot of enemies. Even if your persuasive arguments are very logical, because a person cannot be convinced of something if he does not want it himself.

Every argument initially has few prospects. After a person has voiced his/her own position once, he/she most often sticks to it, which is a common pattern.

Of course, it is possible to argue with a person, to break his arguments with irrefutable proof of his rightness, but he will not change his original position anyway. In the process of conducting trainings I have repeatedly noticed that in situations of dispute a person often “goes into a blind defense”, and in this situation does not listen and does not hear his opponent. In this situation, even the most reasonable arguments will be meaningless.

The way out of this situation can be to ask questions. For example: “Don’t you think that…”? “Wouldn’t it be better to do it this way…”? “What could be the way out of this situation?” Asking questions will avoid categorical affirmative sentences, because questions won’t put as much pressure on people as affirmations. A restrained tone will be more favorably received by people.

You can kill two birds with one stone with your questions:

  1. You are complimenting the person by asking their opinion.
  2. You are informing the other person of your thoughts.

Unsystematized information is worse to perceive. It’s very easy to confuse the person you’re talking to if he or she is bombarded with a stream of unsystematized information. In this case, it is very difficult to separate the main from the secondary. This can be a trick to completely confuse the opponent.

Information that is served in small portions, also do not allow their effective use, because in this case, the integrity of perception is lost. However, if your goal is to accurately convey information to the interlocutor, it is important to try to present your material logically and sequentially.

On this basis, if you need to “bore” the interlocutor, it is important to give the information in a non-systematic, separate disparate pieces. In case you need your interlocutor to understand you, and not just hear you, it is important to structure your information.

People are more likely to take the interlocutor at his word in the process of communication. It is much more important to pay maximum attention to people’s actions, deeds, and behavior. Spend less time on what people say and more time focusing on what they do. It is also important to analyze discrepancies, or the relation of deed and word.

Another effective communication principle is “breaking the pattern. One can introduce some irrelevant remark into a situation, which is an intelligible message, in order to prevent the other person from having the only way to respond to the original situation.

An effective way to interrupt the interlocutor’s train of thought is the unexpected statement “I told you so!” or “See, there you go.”

The principle of positive and negative words. Most people tend to unconsciously use words that unconsciously can alienate the interlocutor. You can try to make adjustments to the features of your own statements, as well as to change the emotional coloring of your own words, making them calmer. Examples of positive and negative words are presented in Table 1.

Table 1 – Examples of positive and negative words.

Positive words Negative words
Would like to Should
Would prefer to Necessary
Desirable Needed
Not as good as it could have been; goes against expectations; could have been better. Terrible
A little unsettling. Scary
Incomplete victory; a different turn of events Failure
Giving an incomplete account of the situation Confused
Difficult situation Failed

It is important to speak in a calm tone of voice. If you speak to the person by raising your voice, the understanding of the message will be incomplete. In this case, the more sensitive the person is, the more noticeable it is. This pattern can be easily explained. Thus, all the attention of a person who is bombarded with negatively colored words is focused not on the meaning of the word, but on the attitude of the speaker to him.

The result is that attention shifts and blocks the analyzers of brain activity. On this basis, all the words that are said in an elevated tone are simply not perceived by the listener. This acts as a protective reaction of the body, which must be taken into account.

To neutralize these phenomena, it is important to use phrases such as “if you speak more calmly, I will be able to understand you better. Against such an argument it is difficult to object. In addition, the phrase will not cause aggressive reactions, because it is neutral.

The principle of changing the meaning of the message through intonation. In the process of communication is of great importance is intonation. Arranging the accents in different ways can significantly change the meaning of the messages being sent. As an example we can analyze the distribution of accents on the phrase “We must solve this problem together. Possible intonation accents for this phrase are given in Table 2.

Table 2 – Examples of intonation accents

Emphasis in the voice Phrase meaning Intention of the interlocutor
This And not any other Concentration
The Problem Not an ordinary problem Degree of difficulty
Мы Not someone else Collective responsibility
Must Wouldn’t want to Level of decision
Decide And not just discuss. Level of decision
Together Not alone Solution method

Conditions for effective communication and methods to increase the effectiveness of communication

Nowadays, it is possible to identify a large number of different techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication and overcoming barriers in communication. Here are the most basic of them.

The method of “proper name”. Its basis is the pronunciation aloud of the name and patronymic of the partner with whom the communication takes place. Thanks to this will show attention to this person, as well as his statement as a person, which will cause a sense of satisfaction, arrangement, as well as a number of positive emotions, on the basis of which there will be attraction.

The technique of “relationship mirror”. Concludes in a demonstration of a smile and facial expressions, located towards the person and broadcasting a friendly attitude towards him/her. The interlocutor develops a sense of security, which allows positive emotions to form and also unconsciously forms attraction.

The technique of “relationship mirror”. Its essence is the statement of compliments to the person that could promote the effect of suggestion for him or her. In this process, there is a kind of “extramural way” of satisfying the needs of the individual to improve, which can also contribute to the emergence of positive emotions and condition the disposition towards the employee.

The “patient listener” technique. It arises on the basis of attentive and patient listening to the person’s problem. It is a way of satisfying one of the most important needs of every person: the need for self-affirmation.

The “private life” technique. Its essence is to draw the person’s attention to hobbies and hobbies of the interlocutor, which also contributes to the development of his verbal activity and causes a lot of positive emotions.

Effective communication: principles and rules

Effective communication has become an integral part of the modern person who wants to be successful everywhere – at work and in private life. After all, in order to reach the heights, we need to be able to establish ourselves, as well as to maintain friendly relations with useful acquaintances.

Today everyone strives to improve their social skills. And even if initially there are difficulties, over time, this knowledge still brings well-deserved fruit – reliable interpersonal connections. And communication helps in this all. How to make it more effective, we will tell in this article.

Definition of effective communication

Communication is the process of transferring information between people using different ways. Depending on the chosen channel of sending data, it can be:

Effective communication can be called when 2 parties understand each other perfectly. In this case, even the use of one language does not guarantee that the received information will be perceived correctly.

Effective communication makes it possible to minimize the cases of loss of meaning in the transfer of data. To strengthen friendships or marriage ties, to conduct business successfully, to build a personal life, it is necessary to learn how to communicate and to constantly develop this skill.

Even animals have a simple exchange of information, but only humans have this process perfected. Sign language and spoken language were gradually supplemented by written, figurative, pictorial methods. As a result, communication has become more complicated, the two sides are more difficult to understand each other, communication has become an object of numerous studies.

The process of information transfer consists of 5 elements:

The one who shares the data (the communicator).

The message itself and its essence.

The method chosen to send the information.

The recipient, the audience or recipient of the data.

The resulting step where conclusions are made about the success of the communication. It is only moved to if the previous four have taken place.

Principles and conditions of effective communication

If there is no successful communication, there will be no mutual understanding. To make sure that the recipient correctly perceives the message addressed to him or her, certain requirements must be met.

The basic principles of effective communication:

Two-way communication is necessary. This requires that all participants in the dialogue are interested in the same result.

The recipient must try hard to understand the meaning of the information received.

Conciseness, structure, specificity and clarity are requirements for the message.

It is important that the recipient respects the speaker, trusts him or her, and does not question his or her professional skills.

Emotions appropriate to the situation are necessary.

One cannot do without indulgence for shortcomings and patience. Need to accept people as a whole, not trying to fix or touch up something in someone else’s character.

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There are also a number of rules for effective communication:

The manner of speech should be appropriate and adequate. Excessive talkativeness should be avoided, as well as talking about things that are not related to the originally chosen topic. This improves effective communication skills.

Words should be chosen that are logical, fully appropriate to the meaning, and easily understood in order to achieve the goal of communication. Vocabulary can be diversified through self-education, native language study, and reading.

Express thoughts intelligently and logically, adhering to a certain structure. Then it becomes easier for listeners to perceive the information, which will increase the likelihood of a positive result.

8 techniques for developing effective communication skills

In psychology, the ability to communicate is considered one of the most important for a person. It is developed throughout life. Let’s consider the basic techniques that will help to improve effective communication skills.

Listen more.

It’s impossible to establish a competent connection with a person without listening to him. This is the foundation of communication.

Listening skills are often underestimated. Selfishness and people’s focus on themselves leads to the fact that they are constantly talking and almost do not perceive the other side of the dialogue. There are times when a person may simply wait until the other person stops talking in order to start talking. To get rid of such a bad tendency is real.

The easiest way is to forget about yourself for a while and completely focus on the dialogue, on what the interlocutor is saying. It is important to switch from the “I”, to step out of the inner universe and focus as much as possible on the person who is now speaking.

Such active listening will help you understand how to continue the dialogue and what questions to ask. And it is necessary to ask in such a way that the answer is extended, not one-worded. As a result, the conversation will become more meaningful.

2. Do not stretch the monologue: brevity is the sister of talent.

This rule is related to the previous one. If you are a long storyteller, there is less chance of hearing the other side. Full focus on the interlocutor automatically shortens the length of the monologue.

3. Work on your acting skills.

Communication implies the maximum use of gestures, different intonations. This is what makes a person a member of society. Juicy, colorful and vivid stories, imitation of roles – all this increases communicability, brings variety to life. A person possessing such abilities is charismatic, able to be liked, easily adapts to the situation and tries on one social role after another, without losing his or her individuality.

4. when communicating, use not only words, but also non-verbal means of communication.

A large part of communication is body language. It takes precedence over words. Mimicry, tone, intonation, according to psychologists, contain 90% of the message. Add variety to your body language palette, and you will be more successful in communicating your thoughts to others.

Add emotionality to the dialogue. For example, to show interest in the story of the interlocutor, lean into his side, look into his eyes, express openness in his gestures and facial expressions. Do not forget about positivity.

Watch your body movements, the tone of your voice while communicating, make corrections if necessary.

5. Respect the opinion of your partner.

Agree is not necessary, but it is necessary to listen, even if the point of view of the other is diametrically opposed to yours.

After the speaker has finished his or her monologue, tactfully point out the phrases with which you disagree. Criticism and censure are unacceptable. Formal agreement is better than total denial, because the conversation is a search for common ground.

6. Show sincere interest in the other person.

Sincere interest in the other person will automatically lead to the fact that you will try to get to the heart of his experiences, feelings and thoughts. This will help you understand what is behind the words, to see the true motives of the interlocutor.

Active listening will lead to the discovery that the differences between you are minimal, that it turns out that the other party is not as boring as it seemed at the beginning of communication.

In addition, genuine interest will contribute to a more comfortable and friendly atmosphere, because people will notice your concern for them.

7. Accept criticism.

It’s better to listen to criticism. This was advised even by the philosopher of ancient Greece, Epictetus. If the remark is constructive, you can think about it and how to correct the situation.

More often than not, criticism reflects the mood of the speaker and his emotional state. A bad day, illness of a child or a beloved pet strongly influence the content of the remark. Or maybe the interlocutor is just jealous of you, jealous or angry. People’s selfish focus on their own experiences distorts their conclusions about others.

Everything doesn’t revolve around you. Realize that the people around you think about your mood, matters very little. Take it easy on yourself, and do not make up things that are not there. Then the fear of criticism, wrong words or behavior from others (supposedly they will think something wrong) will be minimized.

8. Try to initiate conversations.

Residents of megacities over time get used to turning away from acquaintances and pretending not to recognize them in the street or on public transport. At the sight of a person their eyes automatically lower, their body language expresses their unwillingness to communicate. This works – the acquaintance passes by as a stranger.

This version of the game of hide-and-seek in an adult way adds negative emotions and stress. And they will be more than even when communicating with an unwanted interlocutor.

When you see an acquaintance, you automatically go into standby mode. The brain begins to be attacked by questions: does this person recognize me? Does he want to talk or not? Is it worth it to approach or is it better to pass by?

To avoid stress and unnecessary worry, it is better to take the initiative and start a conversation first. Oddly enough, it will be easy. If the person you know really doesn’t want to engage in a dialogue, you can quickly end the conversation and leave.

Business techniques for effective communication

Here are a number of techniques for effective business communication:

A comfortable, pleasant environment is important.

It is better to give the beginning of the conversation to the interlocutor.

You should not interrupt your opponent, even if it seems that he is wrong. It is better to let him speak to the end.

Use the technique of partial repetition of his interlocutor to show their interest in the dialogue and to find out if you correctly understood what was said.

If you disagree with a suggestion, offer an alternative, backed up by valid but clear arguments. Ideally, if you can find examples that show that your approach is successful.

Don’t forget to summarize at the end of the meeting. You need to emphasize the main point.

Whatever the outcome, thank the other party and offer to continue the dialogue in the future.

Nonverbal communication is also important:

Posture. Open, i.e. when there are no crossed legs, arms, the whole body expresses goodwill and sincerity. When the interlocutor says something, lean slightly toward him. Sometimes nod, such a gesture does not mean agreement, it indicates acceptance and attention.

The tempo and volume of speech, diction. Do not say too many words, you should say about 120 words per minute. Check if you can be heard well.

Appearance . Slovenliness, slovenliness, sloppiness sometimes indicate a lack of respect for the other party.

Gesticulation and facial expressions. Try to “mirror” your opponent in order to dispose him, to cause on frankness and trust. To do this, imperceptibly copy the facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor, avoiding parodying.

Concluding tips for building effective communication

Established norms of society should be observed in a conversation with a person, otherwise there are likely to be misunderstandings, problems, quarrels and even the complete cessation of the relationship.

Here are a few more tips for effective verbal communication:

Use vocabulary that is understandable to the interlocutor. Take into account the education of the other party, age and other social characteristics. Only by taking into account the characteristics of the recipient when expressing his thoughts, it is possible to be heard and understood.

Prepare for the dialogue in advance, for example, make a plan of the conversation, learn about the purpose of the meeting and with whom you are going to talk. Use technology and visual aids.

Do not forget to listen actively in order to make yourself approachable and understand the person you are talking to better.

Choose a measured pace of speech, but not a prolonged one, and the tone – loud and confident.

When writing a letter, don’t “jump around” in style, stick to one manner of speaking.

When planning a phone call or video call, think in advance what you are going to talk about and what questions to ask.

All of the above techniques and tips for effective communication will help you develop communication skills, and this will have a positive impact both on your career and personal growth.

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