The psychology of relationships in the women’s team – we study in detail

How to survive in the female group?

How to survive in the team of women? So, your team at work consists mainly of women. Is it good or bad? Neither of these things. The women’s team has its own characteristics, which should be taken into account. And their knowledge will help “survive” in the workplace.

The main feature of the women’s team is that women have a greater need for verbal communication than men. Not without reason in most cases, girls begin to talk before boys. Women need communication – and communication is not virtual, and live.

Conversations

This leads to the first factor to consider – there is always talking. About work and management, about children and problems with husbands, about shopping and hairstyles … And it’s good. You always have the opportunity to discuss pressing issues, from a quarrel with your husband to the best store to buy new shoes. But this feature has a downside.

First, the work process suffers. Especially if you’re new to the company and not yet accustomed to planning your work time with the mandatory conversations and tea parties.

Secondly, the conversation is often shared – and therefore it is very easy to ruin relations with colleagues or superiors, once participating in their discussion. Yes, and you can easily become a hero of gossip in such a situation – it is enough to tell a little about his personal life.

Against whom are we friends?

Also, women inherent sense of community – be together with someone they are more comfortable than alone. Therefore, in the workplace are often formed certain groups of interests. This is a normal situation if the interests are not related to work. But if one group, for example, supports the head and enjoys his favor, and the second – is not, there is no avoiding conflict. Aggravate relations between the groups may also have the usual difference of opinion, manifested in the course of a conversation about nothing.

Follow the rules!

In a women’s group rules always apply. The problem is that these rules are usually not spelled out in the regulations. There is a tacit daily routine, there is an informal leader and it is worth observing some verbal commitments within the team – for example, the agreement to substitute in case of illness, to surrender money for employee birthdays, to celebrate holidays together, etc. Refusing to abide by these unspoken rules is the easiest way to antagonize the team.

Adjusting for emotion

Women are more susceptible to emotions and usually require considerable effort to contain them. On the one hand, this makes the work process quite unpredictable, but on the other hand – makes it easy to find contact with superiors and colleagues. After all, it is also easier to arouse positive emotions in a woman than in a man.

The laws of survival

Alas, in the women’s team everything is decided by personal sympathies. Therefore, special attention should be paid to the establishment of relations with colleagues. To do this, you should follow a few simple rules:

1. Never participate in the discussion of the absentees. There is a high probability that your negative feedback about one of your colleagues will be transmitted to the recipient. And considerably embellished. And, of course, never discuss your bosses!

2. Don’t talk about yourself. If you don’t want your personal life to become known to the whole department, you shouldn’t discuss it with any of your colleagues. Not even in confidence!

3 Observe! If you are new, first try to understand the relationships that have developed in the team. Build a relationship with your colleagues based on the existing informal hierarchy.

4. Try to communicate with people on topics that interest them, avoiding unpleasant ones. Everyone has favorite and disliked topics for discussion.

5. In any discussion you should avoid personal criticism – it is better to limit yourself to general phrases.

6. Don’t stand out. Because of a heightened sense of community in women have a sharp antipathy to the man who does not behave as usual. Avoid tea parties, does not support the general feast, expresses an opinion contrary to that of the majority … Try to follow the established order.

7. By the way, flaunt their successes in the women’s group is also not worth it.

8. And most importantly – do not forget about the work!

And if a conflict has already arisen?

But what if you have already had problems with the team?

First, pay close attention to the work you’re doing – then there will be no opportunity for detractors to pick on you or “seat”.

Second, try not to throw out your emotions – calmness and politeness have a better chance to support. In addition, in the absence of a reaction attacks on you can stifle themselves.

Interestingly, to stop the conflict that has arisen can… a man. It was noticed that if there is a representative of the stronger sex in a female group, the ladies change their behavior – they become softer, more compliant, they begin to pay more attention to appearance, while the struggle for power takes second place.

Maybe here it is – the perfect way to combat the negative features of the female team – to invite a man.

How a woman can survive in a women’s group

If you specify “women’s group” in the search box, the global network will explode with answers in the same vein: “How to survive in a women’s group”, “Rules of survival. It’s as if you’re not going to the lovely creatures, but to the Gobi Desert alone.

However, there is some truth in the word “survival.” Ladies, who have worked in mixed or male teams, agree to the purely female option with a pinch of salt. Because it will not be boring, but it’s still “fun”, because everyone knows what the girls are worth, and when they are a lot, the striking force is equal to the explosion. How to increase the pleasure and negativity, working among your own kind?

The psychology of relationships at work in a team of women

There is nothing more poisonous than a female friendly team.

“That’s what I tell him…”

People go to work to make money and, if they’re lucky, for self-fulfillment. Women, on the other hand, need a job to socialize, perhaps more important than a salary. Get used to the fact that the chatter of your colleagues will be the background. Do not be annoyed that every day starts and finishes with a discussion of discounts, fashions, TV shows, children and husbands. The work process definitely suffers, plus “undermines the psyche,” especially if you are inveterate silent – but no one can forbid the conversation.

Try to minimize your participation in conversations – already because their topics (and your opinion) become the property of your superiors and colleagues. It is not the fact that your constructive thoughts will reach them in their original innocuousness, most likely, the “good women” will redefine them as gossip. And welcome, squabbles, quarrels, a return wave of gossip to your address. To avoid drowning in gossip, keep your mouth shut when the topics seem sharp, concern management and colleagues – keep neutral or run away “on business.”

“You and I.”

The immutable rule is no friendship at work! Women who have not broken it, can be counted on the fingers: all give a buddy, to go to lunch together and be friends with the other legends. And it would be all right if it weren’t for the quarrels that happen anyway. Arguing, the ladies sulk, in the end the work process suffers. By the way the offended party looking for new allies, saying what a nasty ex-girlfriend was. And there it is, a new round of gossip and confrontation. Try not to test the old truth – don’t be friends at work.

“I’m all of a sudden.”

If you graphically depict a woman’s mood, you get a sine wave with an impressive spread – up and down. The upper and lower points of the ladies pass at least once an hour – and so on all day. And you never know whether your colleague is in a negative or positive period. Here’s what you should do: observe your colleagues, look for signs of both a good mood and an impending storm. Depending on the sinusoid, stay out of the hot hand or, conversely, ask for what you want while your colleague is in a good mood.

“That’s the order we have.”

Every team has its own routines, both good and not so good. Good rules: give money to each other for birthday gifts, support the weak, help and substitute, not to take the dirt out of the house. The rules are so-so: to reverence and fawn over self-proclaimed queens, to harass the “stumbled”, to denounce. Even if you are a rebel at heart, you have to dance with everyone in step – fortunately, in moderation. Do not stray from the gatherings with tea and cake, heartily congratulate the birthday girl, put your shoulder when sincerely asked for a favor. But do not participate in sabbaths, do not do what you think is wrong. At the same time, be prepared to hold yourself accountable for your “otherness”: they will surely punish you with gossip, and this can be endured.

“Happiness loves silence.”

Braggarts do not like anywhere, and in women’s groups especially. Here at full force operates the law: “Protruding hat of the nail attracts a hammer. In general, if you “stick out” – you’ll get a scoop on the cap. In the circle of beautiful fairies undesirable clever, to tell what a wonderful husband, how to spoil favorite that gave caring parents, where he invited fun friends … Tell about something from the list – and you see strained smiles. Through the teeth of colleagues will mutter “how great”, and behind unchecked the main weapon of women – language. Envy pushes people to ugly things, but in their eyes they look fighting for equality. Keep quiet, do not advertise personal life, wealth and achievements. And yet, there is no guarantee that you bypass the wrath of the people.

How to resist boorishness at work: psychologist’s tips

“I am”.

No matter how careful you are, sooner or later an altercation will happen – you will be provoked, unfairly accused, openly “laid”. What to do – to keep silent or allow yourself to be drawn into the conflict? How to react to rudeness at work? The rule: “He who does not play, does not lose” does not work here – you have already been dragged in. Prove your case, appealing to conscience, will not work: the aggressor knows his wrongdoing, but it does not care. You can not explain anything to someone who does not want to listen.

  • First of all, do not take rudeness and rudeness only as a rebuke to yourself. Much of what is said at this point – the absolute truth, said for the “red word”: roll over, then we’ll see. So pay no attention to it, but the rest of what is said is still true. And though it is offensive that it is said in a monstrous form, it is worth thinking about it: it is necessary to improve! This shouting is a guide to action, only deliberately: first, you must reflect on what is true of what is said, what you really need to change, and then you must begin to act.
  • Secondly, if possible, it is better to ignore a boor. He yells, says mean things, and you turn your back on him and go about your business (or rather, pretend to, because your emotions are raging inside). It is very well at that moment to make a quiet but clear request or suggestion to the other person. Of course, this option is not applicable if the boor and rude – your boss.
  • Thirdly, when you are boorish, do not try to prove something to someone: no one will hear you anyway. It’s difficult, but you have to learn. If you are stoically silent at the moment of outright rudeness, the wave of rudeness will just choke. By the way, if the rude person will throw you a reproach: “Why are you silent? Don’t know what to say?” Lower your eyes, shrug your shoulders slightly, and softly say, “Sorry.” Believe me, the new outburst of rudeness that follows will be much shorter. But by no means start explaining yourself and making excuses when you are yelled at, when you are boorish.

When your boss or co-worker, but anyone else begins to reproach you for being a bad worker, partner, hostess, mother, daughter … you just listen, without trying to defend yourself, it will only further inflame the “attacker. Be silent, sing a song to yourself, tell a poem, count to a thousand and back. Look at the tip of the “attacker’s” nose: it makes the impression that you are looking into his eyes.

  • Fourthly, when the flow of rudeness is exhausted, when the rude person is tired, you, even if it seems impossible, should, overpowering yourself, say: “Thank you very much! I understood your arguments, they seemed to me interesting and convincing! But you shouldn’t talk to me in such a manner from now on! I am able to hear and understand the usual speech for decent people! Yes, I advise you to see a specialist: not everything you said was spoken clearly and intelligibly!” Turn around and walk away. Let her go on screaming! Her strength, her time … You listened, answered politely, but said everything that you think! By the way, you did not even call her a boor. But you could have!

And on small, and large rudeness need to respond properly. Offend senseless: you do this no one to fix, and spoil your nervous system, but to tell a boor that he was a boor, you need, but do it in a very polite manner: do not allow yourself to burst into a shout. Yelling, rudeness, rudeness – a manifestation of weakness. But you’re a strong woman.

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8 comments

The main thing at work is to do the work. From my experience I can say that the place of gossip, envy and scandals is always there, where employees have a lot of free time. Therefore, the “health” of the team also depends on management. If people find time to stir up the working atmosphere, then they do not belong here or need additional responsibilities.

I agree. At firms where the strict chiefs and workload, female employees have no time to drink tea, let alone discuss husbands and discounts, much less. There is a type of workplace – “swamp” where work barely flows, and then there is no real business, and then blossom women’s tongues, begins licking stones and talk a la “notes housewife” – what she bought, than washed the floor, than her husband fed.

About friendship at work tested on my own skin, when a colleague inflated the conflict, using the great authority of the head, shit from the heart, taking revenge for indifference to the “clarifications”) Enough, a great experience.

It is possible not to make friends with colleagues at all. You need to be at work doing the things of your profession. And if you want to chat, choose a friend from the neighboring office.

I have an acquaintance who worked in a women’s group, and when he got into the “disfavor” of the boss, he had to experience all the women’s solidarity on himself. He left and crossed himself, a militia of women against one man, I’ll tell you what a psychosis. I worked two jobs where women were in the majority, it’s okay, you can survive, worse if the boss is inadequate, then no one helps and it is better to leave.

There is nothing worse than working exclusively in a female team. Sooner or later, all the same intrigue, gossip, which will bring discord to the relationship between employees. The ideal is a mixed team.

It seems to me that this is only in soap operas – mean girlfriends and employees, the endless intrigue in the workplace, envy and gossip. Having worked in a team of women for many years, I have not encountered this. Yes, not always everything was smooth, the characters are different, but outright mean girls I have not met. If a new employee came, she was evaluated only on the quality of work. An unspoken rule in our team prohibited talking about religion, and lately, about politics.

As for rudeness: when my opponent starts rudeness and yelling, I say in a calm voice, “When you yell, call me. I’ll be in the smoking room. I turn around and leave. The effect is stunning.

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