The psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman
A harmonious union is a great rarity. How to understand your partner when his actions do not lend themselves to logical explanation? Why does he cheat, and she deprives him of intimacy? Let’s reflect on this topic and look into the depths of the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman.
Such different psychology
It’s never too late to acquire knowledge about the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman. It is vital for those partners who:
- Are constantly thinking about breaking up;
- often have conflicts and quarrels;
- began to have sex less often;
- irritating each other;
- rarely talk to each other;
- do not get along with relatives of the other half.
At the beginning of a relationship, young people do not think about what their family life will be like. Alas, after a while scandals, accusations, reproaches begin. Thoughts of breaking up appear.
Survive the crisis under the power of those couples who are willing to go to a new level, to reconsider their behavior and try to understand the other half. To begin with, you need to understand a few things:
1. Male and female psychology are opposite sciences.
2. The lives of two people before they meet each other are very different.
What do women want?
I am often approached by men who do not understand why a woman cheats on him, for what reason she left for another or behaves indifferently. To answer these questions, you need to understand what the other half is missing.
You can fulfill her desires, to be caring and attentive. It will still not be enough. In addition, she will quickly lose interest and feel unhappy. To understand what women want, you need to define her role in modern society and get acquainted with the peculiarities of a fine mental organization.
The role of the female in nature
Each of us is subject to the laws of nature. The role of the female is the continuation and preservation of the species. It is she who chooses the mate. She is attracted by the appearance of the male and the living conditions that her partner offers her. In the human world this is expressed as follows: women like strong personalities with a strong body and decent earnings.
Thus, a woman chooses a man who meets the following requirements:
- attractive in appearance;
- confident in himself and his strength;
- Can provide for his family;
- Demonstrates character;
- physically and morally strong;
- knows how to solve problems;
- gives confidence in the future.
Finding a mate is not easy. There are thousands of competitors around. You have to be an original to win a female. No, you don’t have to behave like a male gorilla, who before mating approaches the chosen one and makes soft grunting noises. If you perform your masculine functions, the woman will follow you anywhere.
If all your attempts to fix the relationship were in vain, think what is missing the other half? She does not want your massive abs or elastic biceps. She wants to see a reliable man. Your words and your deeds have to match. Prove you can be trusted.
Catch a few effective tips that will help put a woman in your shoes:
2. If she wants to talk, put your cell phone away. Demonstrate how much you care about her communication.
3. Show genuine interest in her business. Ask her questions, talk to her privately.
4. For every inappropriate mistake you make about her appearance, you will have to pay dearly. Before you declare that that dress makes her look fat, think several times.
5. Praise her for being a housewife and making a delicious dinner. Everything a woman does at home is unnoticeable. It becomes noticeable when she stops doing it.
6. You should have three main words: love, buy, go.
So far, not a single man has been able to understand the inner world of women. Master the art of exposing the logic of the weaker sex is not given to all. Most men believe that women lack physical strength, but perfectly know the art of psychological violence. There is some truth in it. Ladies are guided by emotions and feelings. To understand them is possible, entirely feeling the women’s experiences. But is it worth wandering into a labyrinth of branching logic that will confuse even more?
The less a woman we love…
In the words of the greatest Russian poet lies the truth of female psychology: “The less a woman we love, the easier she likes us …”. The rule works in most cases. However, women have long evolved, become craftier and smarter.
From the constant attention and care can also quickly get tired, so it is important to find the golden mean. A woman should be given as much time as will please her. Do not become a fool under the influence of love feelings. They can make a weak person out of you. Running after a woman and indulging all her whims is the lot of a thoughtless and insecure man.
Interesting and insidious testosterone
It’s impossible not to talk about the psychology of the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. If you are still surprised by the differences between the sexes in sexual attraction, then you probably have not heard about testosterone. The stronger sex produces more of the hormone than the beautiful ladies. Guys are ready to have sex whenever they want if there is an androgen in the blood. It happens subconsciously.
There is a natural ability in a man to continue the human race. An overabundance of testosterone in the body causes aggression and irritation, so you need to dump the excess as soon as possible. If the relationship began to frequent quarrels and conflicts, remember the last time you and your partner indulged in sexual pleasures.
The biggest mistake women – to deprive his chosen one intimacy as punishment. Even worse when passion is simply died down, and lovers do not have sex for months. I love, but I do not want – a fairly common situation in practice. Most often the reasons lie in the relationship between the partners. The main enemies are quarrels, infidelity, resentment, lack of attention, coldness. Less often the lack of intimacy is due to constant stress and illness.
I completely agree with Freud, who believed that without sex normal personal development is impossible. Tactile contact affects all aspects of human life.
Love withdrawal or addiction to the relationship
If a partner is fixated on a loved one and cannot get out of a relationship that brings only pain and suffering, we are talking about addiction. It is most often women who fall into this trap. They suffer, fret, constantly check the man’s social networks, get jealous, make scandals and accuse him. This behavior has little to do with true healthy love.
In neglected cases the girl threatens her partner with suicide. She constantly crying and experiencing mental pain, which surpasses the strength of the physical. In the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman, this concept is called “insecure attachment.
Dependence on a partner poses a serious choice that a person can never make. How will I live without her? I can’t live without her! Who am I without her? Constantly there is a reason not to give up a bad habit. The person you love becomes the drug that always knows where to put the comma in the sentence “leave can’t stay.”
To determine if you are in an addictive relationship, answer the questions:
7. If your other half isn’t around, you’re having thoughts of cheating on the part of your significant other.
8. You are constantly looking into his/her phone in order to find dirt.
9. You want to know everything about his work, school, family, every minute of his life.
10. 10. You always demand gratitude for his care.
11. you try to please your partner in everything.
12. You often resent each other and don’t talk for hours.
13. Breaking up even for a short time brings excessive pain.
If the answer to most of the questions is yes, then we are talking about insecure attachment, which you can get rid of in several ways:
1. the best method to defeat an addictive relationship is through psychotherapy. I am not going to be excruciating about the modern techniques that are most popular and have already helped many people to start a new life. The person himself must come to the point that he has a problem that needs to be solved. Only then will the psychologist be able to identify the causes of the addiction and improve the quality of the partners’ relationships.
2. No specialist is a better expert in your life than yourself. It is important to work with self-esteem, examine yourself, understand your own desires, identify your strengths and weaknesses. It is necessary to accept responsibility for your life and set healthy boundaries with your partner.
3. you need to understand that love addiction will never bring true happiness. Eventually the relationship is bound to end, and the breakup will be painful. Now the unhappy union is destroying you from the inside, taking away your strength, killing the personality inside. You need to get rid of your addiction as soon as possible and start living a full life.
Involuntarily the anecdote comes to mind:
– Natasha left me.
– Come on! You’ll have another hundred grand like that!
– A hundred more? God, why?
It’s true, there will be others. You can’t get hung up on someone who acts as a manipulator. There are few who have been able to withstand the ordeal of dependent love. Remember, there is bound to be someone with whom you can be truly happy.
Secrets of a harmonious relationship
Sometimes it seems that men and women speak different languages. The relationship between them is often concluded in endless misunderstandings, insults and misunderstandings. And then there is a difficult choice: to part or endure? The best way out – to help your loved one and give him what he wants.
Talk to me
The psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman, the ability to manage emotions and ask the right questions play a big role. In a harmonious union partners do not avenge insults, do not foam at the mouth to prove their case. They talk.
Remember five sentences for all occasions, which must be in communication with the other half:
1. are you upset today? Do you want to talk about it?
2. I understand you perfectly, but I want you to hear my point of view.
3. Help me improve our relationship.
4. Let’s not fight over nothing, I really care about our relationship.
5. Let’s solve this problem together.
Forget the provocative remarks, and replace the harsh turns with softer ones:
1. Don’t freak out – Don’t worry about it.
2. What a fool you are! – You’re being silly.
3. If I’m so bad, find yourself another – You hurt me with your words.
4. Don’t yell at me! – I’m not ready to talk in high tones.
Never walk away from a conflict in silence. Let the woman talk. There should not be any negative emotions left in her soul. Always remain steadfast and self-control.
All men cheat.
Oh, that stereotype that makes modern men real cables, ready to run after every skirt. Honestly, I understand with my head that there are no faithful or unfaithful guys. There are those who get caught and those who don’t. But how I’d like to think we’re the only ones they have! I bow to couples who have not allowed their fidelity to be questioned and have allowed their children to believe in true love.
Most men I know who cheat on their wives have problems with discipline and self-control. This does not mean that they do not love their chosen wives. Some individuals are incapable of pulling themselves together when a pretty person happens to be around. If a man does not get enough attention and affection from his lady, he begins to prove to himself and those around him his importance.
If you suspect the other half in the affair on the side, urgently remedy the situation. Try to understand what makes your loved one to cheat. You can not tolerate betrayal. Only in your choice: to forgive and let go or fight.
He will change, she will not go anywhere…
The most common misconceptions in the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman are as follows: “He will change”, “She is not going anywhere. Over time, the fear of losing a loved one is blunted, because there are so many memories, common trials behind them. If a woman decides to leave, she will do it with five children and without a penny in her pocket. So never relax, develop your relationship and surround your beloved with care.
The female illusion of “he will change” is a silly excuse that a girl makes up, not wanting to look soberly at real things. By protecting his actions, she tries not to notice his shortcomings. How often I hear: “He does not give flowers, well done, saves money – a good steward!”, “Let him change, but will play the game, but he will always live with me.
In real life air castles collapse, and in their place remains a deception, resentment, and desolation. Understand that a person’s personality is formed in childhood. One of the peaks is in preschool and adolescence. Mentality and traditions are very difficult to change. That’s why it’s important to protect yourself from dangerous illusions and start with your own changes.
11 reasons why modern relationships are so short-lived
Today’s relationships are nothing like they were even a few decades ago.
They have become more superficial and , and many end them faster than they have time to get used to them.
At the first sign of trouble, one or both parties are ready to leave the relationship, and no one understands why it is so difficult to maintain it.
Why have people suddenly forgotten how to build a relationship, how to love each other, or maybe they have even forgotten what it is?
Here are the main reasons why modern relationships are so short-lived.
The problems of modern relationships
1. We’re not ready.
We are not ready to make sacrifices, compromises, and unconditional love. We are not willing to spend the time and effort necessary to make a relationship work.
We want things to be easy, and at the first difficulties we give up, not allowing love to grow, and just leave early.
2. We are not looking for love, but for emotional excitement.
We want strong emotions and excitement. We want someone to go to the movies with or have fun with, not someone who will understand us even when we are silent.
We spend time together, but we don’t create memories. We don’t want to live a boring life. We don’t need a partner to live with, just someone who will make us feel alive right now in this very moment.
When the excitement subsides, we realize that no one prepared us for ordinariness. The thrill eclipses the beauty of predictability.
3 . We have no room for love.
We are immersed in the hustle and bustle of city life, where there is virtually no room for love. We have no time or patience for relationships.
We are all busy pursuing material possessions, and relationships become mere convenience.
4. We want quick rewards.
We want instant rewards in everything we do: when we post something on social media, in our careers, and with the people we fall in love with.
We want the maturity of a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connection that develops over the years, and the sense of belonging when we hardly know the other person.
Apparently, nothing is worth our time and patience.
5. We have the illusion of choice.
We would rather spend an hour with a hundred people than spend a day with one person. We believe we have options.
We want to get to know people, but not get to know them. We get greedy and want everything.
We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and get out of them when we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in a person, we just want them to be perfect.
We date a lot of people, but we rarely give them a real chance and just get disappointed in everyone.
Relationships in today’s world
6. Technology has replaced live communication.
Technology has brought us closer together to the point where we can’t breathe. Our presence has replaced text messages, voice messages, video calls, and more.
We no longer feel so keenly the need to spend time together. We have enough of each other and don’t know what to talk about.
7. We are afraid of commitment.
We are a generation of “perpetual wanderers” who can not stay in one place for too long. We don’t think we’re cut out for relationships, and we don’t want family life. Even the thought of it terrifies us.
We can’t imagine what it would be like to be with one person for life. We walk away . We hate permanence, as if it were some kind of evil.
We like to think that we are different and that we don’t conform to social norms.
8. We are a sexually liberated generation.
We are a generation that easily separates sex from love, or so we used to think. We are the casual connection generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to love that person. Sex comes easy, but not commitment. Getting laid now is like having too much to drink.
You don’t do it because you love the other person, you do it because you want pleasure. It’s just a temporary fulfillment of a need. Sex outside of a relationship is no longer taboo.
Relationships are no longer easy. There are now open relationships, friends with benefits, fleeting infatuations, one-night stands, uncommitted sex – not much room left for love.
9. We are guided by logic, not feelings.
We are the practical, logic-driven generation. We have forgotten how to fall madly in love.
We are not ready to fly to the other side of the world to see the one we love. We are more likely to break up because of the distance. We are too reasonable for love and too reasonable for our own good.
10. We are afraid of love.
We are a frightened generation that is afraid of falling in love, of being tied to someone, of falling down, of hurting ourselves, of breaking our hearts. We don’t let anyone near us and we’re not ready to love unconditionally.
We look out from behind the wall we’ve created ourselves, looking for love, and run as soon as we find it. We can’t handle it and we don’t want to be vulnerable.
We don’t want to bare our souls to anyone. We are too cautious.
11 We don’t value relationships.
We have stopped valuing relationships. We let beautiful people out of our lives in hopes of finding “another fish in the sea.” We don’t think of relationships as something sacred.
There is nothing in this world that we cannot conquer, but we are completely mediocre at the game called love.