The Psychology of Men in Love
I think it’s no secret that men and women in love behave and think very differently. And for many women, the behavior and feelings of the stronger half of humanity are if not the most profound, yet a mystery. Today I will try to fill this gap, and talk about the psychology of men in love. Why me? Well, who better than the man himself can most accurately describe the male psychology of love!
How a man chooses his mate
How a man chooses his mate. Talking to my friends and other men, I often hear from them that they choose their beloved on the basis of her “inner world and the ability to cook incredibly delicious food. Forget it-that’s not true. The psychology of men in love is primarily based on a girl’s conformity to personal standards of beauty. Any, I emphasize, any man subconsciously chooses a girl based primarily on her external data. Then, later on, when a man already has a relationship with a girl, he really starts to look at her, i.e., housekeeping, and evaluate her cooking. This is a clichéd, and almost everyone knows the truth, but for some reason I still meet girls who on the first day of acquaintance begin to tell the young man (sort of by accident), how they cooked borscht yesterday. Dear women, remember, in the early stages of amorous relationships, men are not interested in how you cook and how many times you clean the apartment.
Another thing is that many men initially have low self-esteem (often – for completely objective reasons) and they can not even afford to admit the desire to see next to her chubby brunette. This is where the stories about spiritual content and possible qualities of a real hostess come in. Once again – all of this does play a huge role, but not in the first week of communication, because initially, the man has no incentive to create a family and establish a common household.
Psychology of men in a serious relationship
When the first stage (acquaintance and mutual confirmation of the fact of falling in love) is passed, the very first stage begins: how does a man behave in a serious relationship? The psychology of men in love is fundamentally different from the way of thinking during dating. That’s it – he has already chosen his female, has shown everyone that this is his woman. Now the main desire is to try to understand – whether the woman is suitable for the role of mother and his wife. Yes yes yes, don’t think sweet young ladies, that it is only you who are testing the man for suitability. Believe me – he does the same. And here you may be a copy of Angelina Jolie, but if the apartment is a mess, and the kitchen with a pan of burned pasta – a serious, long-term relationship can not count on. But do not go into a very domestic situation too in any case can not. Real men want to see you as often as possible “in full dress. In the cucumber masks and shabby robes there is nothing wrong, but only if it will be done for HIM. Otherwise, the man becomes just offended, because with him (except for joint trips to theaters / movies / restaurants), you look like the heroine of the detergent ads, and paint and dress up only for work – no decency.
Failure to understand these two facts and leads, in most cases, to a breakup. The psychology of the man in love is the desire to find a compromise between your housekeeping and good looks.
Signs of male love
Male psychology in love, and in life in general, is more relaxed than female psychology. Men by nature are less emotional than women, which is often mistakenly interpreted as a lack of feelings. By what signs can you see a man’s love?
The first. If a man in a joint conversation increasingly uses the pronoun “we” instead of “I” – this is a sure sign of his feelings. He is already subconsciously looking at you as a whole and together, and this is very important.
Second. When a man really loves, he tries as much time as possible to spend with his beloved, shifting joint meetings with friends and trips to fishing. But there is one exception: work. When he stays at work late (if it is really necessary), in any case, do not give him any claims and put him before the choice “or me, or work. This is first of all just stupid, and secondly, there is a good chance that he will choose not you.
Third. If a man really loves a woman, he will never refuse her desire to “play with his toys. Giving a woman his car, his computer, his cell phone or his watch is a small but very important sign of a man’s love.
Fourth. As strange as it may sound, any relatively serious quarrel is also an indicator of a man’s feelings. A man will fight and quarrel with a woman only if he plans to continue to be near her. But if your man just prefers to leave the house at the moment of clarification – it is a sign of his lack of interest in you.
Signs of male love
Fifth. If a man begins not only to start talking about the future together, but also to take some action for this, then he has already decided to build this very future. And these actions can be as minimal as fixing a leaky faucet or buying a kettle – it is not so important (for men). The main thing is that they are there.
Sixth. One of the most important signs of a man’s true love is to agree to joint household activities. This is the psychology of man in love, that the joint preparation of dinner, or cleaning his room means a lot to him. And if he even began to hang up his socks on the chair at night for your sake, it means that he is almost ready to go to the registry office 
Male psychology in love and relationships: characteristics, tips for girls
Male psychology in love and relationships is different from that of women. Men are first attracted to the appearance, and later to the inner world of the lady of the heart. Men’s love can be more impetuous and unemotional. And to fall in love with his chosen one, you need to consider the nuances of his psychology: vulnerability, insularity, love of freedom, inconstancy and need for affection.
How do men begin to feel
Each man is an individual. But feelings for most develop in stages:
- emotional interest: a woman is attracted by her appearance (beauty, posture, gait);
- Intellectual interest: a desire to study the personality of the chosen one (tastes, hobbies);
- Spiritual interest (a sense of kinship, relaxed communication).
Often feelings do not go through all the stages, remaining at the first levels. Such relationships represent a short fling. With girls, feelings develop differently: from intellectual interest to spiritual attraction, and the last stage is physical attraction. At the same time, both sexes are ultimately important for all kinds of intimacy. Without them, the partners have a feeling of emptiness, of being unnecessary. And they begin to look for support and understanding in others.
Stages of formation of love
Most couples go through the same stages of developing feelings. Stages of the formation of a relationship:
- Attraction (physical for men, intellectual for women);
- Uncertainty (the stage of doubt; partial weakening of interest is natural; you should have patience, wait it out, don’t panic);
- conscious need to be the only one (this is a strong desire to move forward together; partners begin to plan the future together);
- spiritual closeness (there is complete trust; partners open their hearts; do not show your beloved all the complexities of his character);
- Engagement (the first step to formalize the relationship; if the couple is not stable enough – new unexpected difficulties may arise at the marriage planning stage; this leads to the end of the relationship or to the next level).
How to recognize his crush
The behavior of a man in love depends on what was the relationship with his mother. If he felt sincere love, respect, caring in childhood, if his native home was no place for violence and manipulation – a man will treat the chosen one the same way. If he still has childhood traumas and resentment against the fair sex – his behavior can be unpredictable and aggressive. It is believed that three people are involved in the relationship.
You can name the typical signs of male crushes. They include:
- The desire to communicate and see the beloved more often (if he could not see her in person, he will call or send a text message);
- The idealization of his beloved, the admiration of her every trait and her social circle;
- striving to protect the beloved from the slightest problems (can be unreasonably aggressive toward imaginary competitors);
- enjoys the very presence of the beloved (is ready to take her to any place, is somewhere near her every free minute);
- tends to attract attention (sometimes with unusual antics).
A guy who loves gives away his body language: open posture, open palms. He doesn’t hide his hands. An uninterested man crosses his limbs, his hands remain in his pockets. He often touches his earlobe or the tip of his nose while talking to the girl, and covers his mouth. This indicates shallow feelings or their absence.
You can visually distinguish between passion and deep feelings. With ordinary sexual attraction, the man becomes willful, narcissistic, and defiantly bold hunter. With deeper feelings next to the beloved, the guy becomes timid, clumsy. The man’s excitement manifests itself through a blush, raised eyebrows, dilated pupils, flared nostrils, and a soft facial expression.
He is so focused on the object of love that he forgets about what is going on around him. He is not distracted during a conversation with his beloved, does not interrupt her. In the psychology of the stronger sex, such concentration is considered a key sign of love. At such moments his head is slightly tilted to the side. He continuously looks into the eyes of his chosen one (and sometimes shyly withdraws them). From time to time his gaze falls on the girl’s lips. This may indicate sexual desire for a guy. But in combination with other signs indicates a deep interest.
Walking with his beloved, the guy tries to touch her shoulders or waist, imperceptibly embrace her. This unconscious sign indicates a desire to protect the girl. If the man allows the lady to use his valuable “toys”, to which he does not allow anyone else – he takes the companion very seriously. In this case, the guy allows the lady to sit behind the wheel or freely use an expensive gadget.
The first quarrels are a good sign. An uninterested guy will not emotionally open up. And in the case of a conflict, he will simply leave, waving the girl off. Willingness to deal with the situation indicates a man’s serious plans. At the same time he is upset, confused and picks up words. Despite the storm of emotions, he is afraid to hurt his beloved.
Steps to conquering a guy
Girls in love should smile more often at the chosen one, listen to him attentively, take an interest in his inner world. It is important to be sincere, but remain a mystery. Smile more.
Affectionate smile, intended only to favorite, will seduce him more than frank sexuality. Especially in a crowded place, a guy will like the fact that the girl smiles only at him. In a large company he will feel a connection with the girl, trust her.
Listen carefully
Whatever your lover is talking about, it is important to listen to him with interest. You should not interrupt, even if he says predictable things. A guy will appreciate this trait.
Laugh with him.
Sincere simultaneous laughter of two people unites them. A good sign if the girl and her chosen one have a similar sense of humor. And if he himself tries to cheer her up – it’s worth supporting him with his own laughter. This is flattering to the stronger sex. It is worth bearing in mind that overt pretence will be seen.
Praise him.
Men love to show the ladies their achievements. Such “dusting” is part of the marriage games. He can be proud of the car, career growth, read books. The delight in a girl’s eyes motivates a man. An ordinary guy seems to himself at such moments as a superhero, able to cope with any difficulty. Compliments, sincere attention from the girl “wow” men. You should not show skepticism next to your lover, even if his dreams sound implausible.
Accept gifts
It is important to appreciate the gifts of the chosen one, not to take them for granted. A man likes to see the delight and gratitude of a woman. Let even a small gift from him become a holiday. He will also appreciate the non-trivial or simply heartfelt gifts from your beloved (a scarf, a poem, a handy thing for the car). He will be flattered by caring.
Take an interest in his hobbies.
It is worth asking your loved one about his childhood, school adventures, favorite toys. He should mentally relive his best moments, being close to a girl he likes. This recommendation is suitable for the initial stages of a relationship as well as for a mature couple. Indifference leads to separation even after 20 years of living together. It is worth studying the young man’s hobbies: get to know a couple of his favorite books, movies. It is better to offer him to enjoy these works together.
Keep the mystery alive.
Guys lose interest in the “open book” that is always around. You should not reveal yourself immediately and be intrusive. Mild understatement excites men.
Don’t push and don’t control!
Holding back feelings is considered a basic male trait. Men rarely vent their emotions on relatives. Work troubles or other problems make a guy withdrawn. The typical reaction of girls is to shut down and wind himself up the same way; to interrogate. Both options tire the man out. He gets an additional problem. It is better to let him go through a difficult moment without interfering. When the situation improves, you can unobtrusively ask about what happened.
And if the man has decided to open up – do not ask questions, to criticize his decisions. It is better to support the partner with a word and caress. Giving advice is not recommended (unless he asked). Women’s attempts to assert themselves, instructive intonations will be perceived by the partner aggressively.
A woman’s need to constantly see her partner often leads to a breakup. He should have his own hobbies outside the relationship. Don’t try on the role of your partner’s mother (constantly calling, asking about his nutrition, reminding him to take his medications). Such dependence scares men, even the woman you love quickly gets bored. It is better to occupy your own interests, and in the evening to discuss each other’s achievements.
