Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman: the secrets of understanding
Sometimes it seems that we are from different worlds: everyone speaks his own language, not understanding the other. Is it possible to achieve harmony? In this article I will tell you all about what it is – the psychology of strong and proper relationship between a man and a woman.
Male and female needs
At the first stage of building a relationship, everything seems very easy. You do not need much to be happy – just to be there. Over time, it turns out that this is not enough. Both sides have their own desires, expectations, which eventually turn into the well-known story: “You do not think about me!”, “Why do I have to do what you want” and the like.
And so, coming down from heaven to earth, you find yourself trapped in a wheel of endless misunderstandings and misunderstandings, the only way out of which seem to be only patience or separation.
And in fact you both just want to be happy together. But to go down this road is impossible, if your fundamental needs are not met. In that case, the best solution will be – to help the other half to “close” the exciting issues.
Psychology of women in a relationship: its needs
- A sense of security. It is important for girls to be sure that the man is able to take some of the burden of responsibility off her shoulders, to make serious decisions and cope with problems.
- Attention to her worries, thoughts, plans. If her inner world is not understood, not accepted, one day she will close that door and experience everything in herself. Such an outcome can lead to a sense of being unwanted and a loss of awareness of her own worth.
- Acceptance of her emotional swings. It is inherent in a woman’s nature to change her moods – there is no escaping it. It is important that her partner treat such periods with understanding.
- Hearing how beautiful and sexy she is. Men, these reminders seem meaningless, but without them a woman may cease to care about how she looks next to the other half. Or unconsciously direct sexuality in the direction of those who are able to appreciate it.
- Respect the dreams and aspirations of the goal. Without this support, you can’t expect her to be sympathetic to men’s pursuits.
- Gratitude. Without it, caring for a partner becomes an obligation, and over time, a heavy burden.
- Being together more often. And to feel that the other half is interesting with her.
- To see her value and importance to him. A girl is realized in a relationship when she realizes that her partner needs her. The position “I will do anything for you, just be there and nothing else” will not lead to anything good.
- Feeling like you’re the only one. And it’s not just about fidelity, but also whether the lover knows how to make her stand out among the others, to emphasize how special she is.
- Romance, surprises and exploits. As cliché as it may sound, but it makes her feel loved, not a tired housewife.
- Pride in her chosen one. She may not talk about it, take your favorite with all his virtues and flaws. But it is extremely important for her to see that he is working on himself, striving for more, developing.
Historically, the female role has been that of keeper of the hearth and comfort. This does not mean that the image of the ideal woman is reduced to the housewife. She does not need to forget that she is an independent entity and person behind her household duties. Conversely, a girl who is bogged down in work should remember that she is above all a woman. Do not forget about femininity, about the ability to be weak in a man’s hands.
In this case, to replenish the gift of energy, she needs positive emotions from the lover. They can take verbal form in the form of reminders about how much he loves her. They are also easily extracted from gifts and attention. An emotional payoff from her partner is the best reward and motivator.
The psychology of men: his needs
- To become an absolute authority. This manifests itself in the girl’s willingness to follow his decisions, not to doubt that he can take care of her. It is important for him to feel responsible for their future together.
- Being yourself. When a woman constantly reminds her partner of his shortcomings, he either begins to feel guilt, or loses confidence, or shows retaliatory aggression.
- The unconditional faith of the beloved in his strength. Men’s self-esteem is partly made up of the girl’s confidence that the beloved is able to solve all problems. Without that faith, he stops believing in himself.
- Respect for his interests. The absence of this element often leads to the fact that a man becomes uninterested in spending time with his beloved.
- Seeing that she likes to make love to him. The tendency to cheat occurs when he does not feel wanted.
- Gratitude. If she is constantly dissatisfied, the motivation to perform small “feats” finally disappears.
- Respect for personal space, freedom of choice. He has the right to decide what to do now, when to perform the promised. The girl’s lack of patience and going into “sawing” mode turns her into a mother in his eyes.
- Loyalty, the conviction that there is no one better than him. If a representative of the stronger sex regularly hears comparisons with others (and not in his favor), it greatly undermines the desire to continue such a relationship.
- Admiration of his woman. He also wants to be proud of his beloved, to see her beautiful, feminine, sexy and growing as a person. By nature, a man is a male. No matter how jealous you are, he will constantly pay attention to attractive individuals. Your task – always be out of competition and be able to play different roles: lover, friend, mother.
It is important to remember that “warriors” (which is what the masculine hides in themselves) find it difficult to voice their emotional feelings. They try to cope with difficulties on their own. This fact should simply be accepted and not require him to be overly sensitive, talkative and open.
The main stages in the development of a relationship
I allocate 3 main periods in the construction of relationships between the sexes.
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Falling in love
Tentatively – the first three years of communication. During this time the idealization of the partner, the desire to be always together occupies a painful place.
Signs characteristic of men at this stage
- Excessive courage. The lover wants to show his chosen one what he is ready to do for her. Or prove that she will be like a stone wall behind him.
- Attention. As never before, he presents his beloved with care, affection, attention, always finds time to meet her.
- Focusing on his appearance. He takes care of himself, goes to the gym, keeps his body toned.
- Confessions of love. Only in the period of love a representative of the stronger half can, without hesitation, talk about how he feels.
- Romanticism. In love strives to surprise the lady of the heart, gifting her with unforgettable emotions.
- Sparks in the eyes. The eyes of the man who fell in love literally burn with inspiration, energy.
Signs of a woman
- Increased activity. It seems that she is constantly on the emotional lift, in a good mood and can do many things quickly and easily.
- Softness. Even those whose character is called difficult become more benevolent and compliant.
- The desire to create comfort around herself. A hearth keeper awakens in a girl in love.
- Critical attitude to your appearance. Representatives of the fair sex tend to hide flaws as much as possible, to experiment with makeup, hairstyles and clothing styles. All that concerns the external data, she gives increased attention.
The psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman after falling in love – what’s next
The stage of unjustified expectations.
As a rule, after three years, the couple discovers difficulties. In place of ideal ideas about the other half comes the realization of the partner’s shortcomings and disappointment in one way or another. At this time, the most important thing is to look for compromises. Not everyone successfully copes with this period. But those who find the strength to continue to build a relationship move to the next level.
Having passed the test of harsh reality, lovers come to the point where they accept the other with all the pros and cons, learn to adjust and appreciate what they are together, not separately.
Few people make it to this stage. Harmonious relationships can be characterized by the fact that no one tries to reshape anyone to their own standards. In most matters compromise solutions are found. Along with synergy in joint affairs, there is personal freedom for everyone.
3 forbidden techniques in a relationship with a man
There are several behavioral strategies that a woman should perceive as taboo.
You’re a loser.
It is important for him to bring to the end what he undertakes, to be reliable, to stand firmly on his feet, to feel victorious. The main mistake many girls – to point out his lover to his unfinished business and failures.
If you want your chosen one to be successful, forget about:
- The phrase “I told you so!”
- Comparing his minor achievements with major victories of others;
- admonishments “But you should have listened to me …!”
When a man makes a mistake, he needs your support, not a traumatic self-esteem condemnation.
There are women who refuse to help and take full responsibility. Many also expect from the lover to be grateful for what they do. However, if the chosen one does not feel necessary, strong and irreplaceable, he quickly loses interest in the lady who does not need anything from him. Men’s nature is characterized by a desire to help, to perform feats, to feel their importance and usefulness.
I am independent.
Long-lasting and harmonious relationships are only possible if there are two different people. Even same-sex couples tend to distribute roles so that one takes a strong, active position, and the other a weaker, passive position. When both partners strive to be leaders, they are constantly engaged in a tug-of-war.
Psychology of mutual understanding between a man and a woman – 5 main rules
A mature, long-term relationship is a lot of work on both sides. There is a foundation upon which happy couples are built. It consists of five simple truths.
A girl has incredible power to give inspiration and energy. Sincere support can take the relationship to an unprecedented level. It is important for the favorite to believe in him, notice his even smallest victories and remind him of how strong he is. Do not underestimate your importance. One hint that you doubt his idea can make him give it up.
Become a catalyst for his success. Think of some appropriate phrases that help boost his testosterone, motivation. The more often you will remind him how clever, strong and charismatic, the deeper this idea will stick in his subconscious and the more important you will be for him. Man will always cherish a woman who inspires him to do things and is his powerful support. Feeling the flow of energy from the girl, he wants to become better, to reach new heights. There is a certain energy exchange, which builds a happy relationship.
Remember: he wants to feel needed, so gratefully accept his help. This tool will allow you to broadcast to your lover how much he means to you, and that you wouldn’t be so happy without him.
Fight in the right way.
Treat every quarrel as a growth area for your relationship. Properly ended, they contribute to the growth of your couple. When the wave of emotions has subsided, the storm has subsided, exhale and gently, gently articulate exactly what is bothering you. After that, be sure to say what you want and offer a way out of the situation. Do not demand from the other half, and seek to hear him and come to a compromise. Over time, he too will begin to follow this strategy. When fighting, think about what’s more important to you – to be right or to be happy? If the second – do not be afraid to make the first step and move the relationship forward, not backward. Be conscious and wise, even if you feel provoked by your significant other. Remember that he, too, now speaks from emotion.
First of all – yourself. Do not expect from men that you can not give yourself. Realize your own value, feel worthy of being loved. If you know how to spend time alone, then the elected one with you interesting. He will always see you as you position yourself. In addition, developing, you inspire him to achieve new successes. After all, next to a confident, beautiful, intelligent and goal-oriented girl, you want to look appropriate. That’s the whole secret.
Striving to dodumat for another, building illusions, lack of words – all this destroys the integrity and harmony of your couple. Do not hint – talk about what you do not have, directly. Take the time to be offended, clarify – whether he meant what you thought. Ask questions, not make your own conclusions. Silent, cold conflicts – the most dangerous. They can not analyze, do not identify points of “pain. When everyone is waiting for the other to make the first move, you will constantly fall into this trap, move in a circle and will not come to an agreement.
Mutual respect, understanding, patience, and support are all about a good relationship between a man and a woman. Every couple has a chance for a strong, harmonious and valuable bond. Work on yourself to take the relationship to the next level, to realize your mission. Learn the basics of metaphysics and expand the boundaries of your worldview.
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Peculiarities of the psychology of relations between women and men
Women and men have different views on relationships. Differences of upbringing, character, emotional reactions, expectations of the relationship lead to misunderstanding, frustration, indifference. Knowledge of psychology can help restore hope for a strong healthy relationship. The psychology of relationships with men requires a girl’s patience, attention, understanding, tact. Relationships – painstaking work, which is sure to be rewarded.
The psychology of relationships between the sexes
With the help of relationships, people meet their basic needs: to receive support, approval, mutual understanding. The prosperity of the relationship depends on the coincidence of lovers’ perceptions of the relationship. Predictably representatives of both sexes want to get:
- Emotional intimacy. Includes support, admiration, caring, willingness to listen, help. Men need it no less than women, they just say it less often.
- Sharing a household. Domestic duties – an unpleasant routine, but it is impossible to get rid of it. So you need to stipulate at once who is responsible for cleaning, cooking, other household needs, who earns money for the family.
- Matching sexual preferences. The intimate part of the relationship is important for everyone. A woman is considered sexually passive. This is just a prejudice that interferes with a normal intimate life. Stiffness and aloofness of the mistress will disappoint the ardent admirer, will leave the partner unsatisfied.
- A successful choice of a partner raises social status. It is important for everyone to be accepted, respected by the team, so subconsciously everyone wants to get a partner who will contribute to this.
- Confirmation of their value. Close relationships are beneficial to mental health. Feeling needed, loved pleasant and useful – it lifts your spirits, increases self-esteem.
Each interested candidate is evaluated by representatives of both sexes on their own scale. The more coincidence with a list of requirements, there is a higher chance to get a mutual relationship.
A man’s attitude towards a woman
Men change their attitudes toward women depending on their age, social status, and upbringing. Young guys tend to compete: the more girls – the higher the social status. It is useless to wait for a serious relationship from guys, they prefer an easy, entertaining pastime. This is a peculiarity of age that must be accepted. There are exceptions – young men who are initially set up for a long-term romance, but it’s a big rarity.
The period of active “hunting” ends by the age of 20-25. The young man who has grown up realizes that it is time to think about the future. He looks for a girl who shares his views and aspirations, who is interested in building a career. Sometimes the period of infatuation with short-term relationships lasts up to 30 years. Recognize such a man is easy – he is infantile, afraid of responsibility, prefers to give women the upper hand. His career is indifferent, he floats downstream. A female leader would prefer such a relationship, but a soft led girl needs a mature man.
After 30, a man settles down, thinking about his family comes to the fore. A mature man’s companion should be ready to start a family, run a household, raise children. The reason for divorce at a conscious age is a different view of family life: if one spouse is configured only for the career, the other will feel deprived, deceived.
Create a harmonious relationship can only be people whose vital interests coincide. Therefore, before making far-reaching plans, you need to know exactly what your partner’s intentions are.
Manifestation of feelings
Men are less emotional than women. This difference is explained by objective and subjective reasons:
- Hormonal background. The menstrual cycle is accompanied by a constant change in a woman’s hormonal background. Unreasonable depression, irritation or depression appear during PMS, ovulation, during menstruation itself. Manifestations may be insignificant, but some girls find it very difficult to experience dramatic mood swings.
- Character peculiarities. The tendency to violent emotional reactions depends on your temperament – the inborn peculiarities of your nervous system. It cannot be changed, so some people from childhood are more sociable and open, others – withdrawn, aloof.
- The difference in methods of education. Children have different requirements. Girls are patronized, encouraged infantilism and active displays of emotion. Boys are expected to be serious, collected, controlling their emotions.
As a result, men grow up with the belief that emotionality is the prerogative of women. They become accustomed to expressing attitude and affection through deeds: care, readiness to help, providing protection.
Young girls, when they meet a man they are interested in, expect compliments, adoration, admiration for their beauty. If the man is also inexperienced, he will be silent, not understanding what is expected of him. The girl is disappointed, worried and nervous, the man gets irritated and distances himself.
How to behave with a man
In manuals written by pseudo-psychologists, girls are advised to use manipulation as a sure means of conquering men. If it really worked, there would be many more happy families.
Manipulation is a hidden form of lying. Before using it to create a relationship, a girl has to decide whether she really wants to do it. Manipulation assumes that the man is incapable of an honest relationship from the beginning, he cannot be trusted, it is better to deceive first. Play, provoke, make jealous, worry, doubt. Often this strategy brings results – the intrigued man tries to solve the mystery. But this cannot be called crush or interest in the person. As soon as the girl loosens her grip, changes her behavior style – the interest will pass.
Blatant manipulation is easy to recognize. The man, having discerned the false intentions, is expected to prefer to deceive beforehand or simply disappear, leaving the girl to guess where she went wrong. Manipulation initially assumes that the partner is irresponsible, stupid, selfish, and superficial. If a man is really like this – to start a relationship with him just dangerous. Any normal man would be insulted by such an attitude.
The basis of a healthy relationship – trust. Game in the treacherous prey and slow hunter leads to scandals, mutual disappointment, fear of a new relationship.
No one can read the other’s mind, guess desires, understand motives for actions. Frank conversations are the only way to come to an understanding.
How to achieve mutuality
It is believed that the first step should make a man. But the representatives of the stronger sex are also afraid of rejection and neglect. Therefore, they do not make active attempts to rapprochement, until they are sure that a woman has feelings for them.
To let your lover know that her intentions are serious, a girl should:
- Respect his personal space. Everyone needs to be alone with himself from time to time. A man’s need for this is stronger. Being alone with their thoughts, they get rid of nervous tension. Trying to have a serious conversation at such times is harmful – men think that his feelings are neglected.
- Speak directly, without hints. Conflicts should be resolved at once. The misunderstanding should be discussed, without asking the man to guess what his beloved is unhappy about.
- Do not settle an argument over a trifle. Scandalized people are annoying. The more often they make claims, the more tension and dissatisfaction is accumulated. To solve a disputed situation, you need to be able to forget about your own selfishness, look for a compromise.
- Involve them in household chores. Joint territory is the main sign of a serious relationship. When a guy understands that the girl counts on him, he feels like a full-fledged master of the house, gradually gets used to the role of a family man.
- Be frank. The best way to get what you want is to be honest about it. If a girl wants a serious relationship, it is much more useful to say it outright. So she will know right away whether to count on reciprocal feelings, to decide how best to behave in case of rejection.
It is important to strike a balance between determination and assertiveness. Men love initiative, but they prefer to leave the decision for themselves. No pressure, demand, blackmail. Most of all, the partner values freedom and does not forgive infringements on it. A woman who respects this peculiarity will always stand out advantageously against others.
Man’s manifestation of love
To properly understand the intentions of a loved one, you need to keep in mind the difference in the way men and women manifest their love. Love psychology shows that women appreciate conventional romance the most, while men appreciate concrete actions.
You can tell that a man is really in love by his behavior. Love manifests itself through:
- Sudden awkwardness. The self-confident macho near the object of sincere interest becomes nervous. He tries hard to make an impression, from which he worries even more.
- Unreasonable jealousy. A man is pleased when his companion attracts attention – this means that out of all the options he chose the best and most desirable. But do not abuse this – everyone wants to be the only one for his beloved.
- Increased attention and care. The partner may give gifts to the mistress, but will never agree to take her cat to the vet or help her rearrange the furniture.
- Familiarity with friends. The opinion of friends is very important to men. If he is willing to show his chosen one to his friends, it means that she really means a lot to him.
- Plans for the future. Marriage for men is associated with cohabitation. If he buys a rug for the hallway, ready to discuss the color of curtains – you can look for a future common apartment.
At the early stage of the relationship it is too early to talk about seriousness. It is possible to understand if this is love, or not, 4-6 months later. During this time, the first charm passes, the relationship ends, or moves to a new level, becomes more mature, serious.
How a man chooses his wife
A beloved woman is a social status, the last step before marriage. Most men approach marriage very seriously. Creating a family is a responsible step, even after several years of relationship it is difficult for a man to dare to make a proposal.
In his future life companion a man is looking for:
- willingness to take on certain household responsibilities;
- Soft stable character, the ability to negotiate;
- love for children;
- respect for his partner;
- desire for stability;
- ability to keep up a conversation;
- similarity of temperaments.
In order to get a long-awaited proposal as soon as possible, a woman needs to match the views of his beloved of the ideal spouse. But often a man refuses to explicitly indicate preferences, a woman has to guess the expectations of the trial and error. In order not to spoil the relationship too intrusive, psychologists advise to observe his relationship with his mother. She is the ideal woman of most men, her features he is looking for in the girl he loves, enduring love and reverent attitude. The opinion of the mother can be decisive. You can confidently say: the favor of the future mother-in-law – a guarantee of a soon marriage.
From the video you will learn about how to achieve an affection from a representative of the opposite sex.