The guy relaxed in the relationship: sorting out all the nuances

How to act if a man is relaxed in a relationship with a woman

Some couples after a few months of relationship begin to notice dissatisfaction with their halves. Disappointment is usually subjected to the most emotional partner, who “burns out” more quickly. It may happen that one of the two overestimated his strength or is not ready for the rapid development of events. Most often this happens with the stronger half, and women at this point realize that their man has relaxed in the relationship.

Why did the man change his attitude

In some cases, alienation occurs only in the imagination of a woman prone to drama. For example, a man has called several times in a day and suddenly becomes limited to one message. She immediately decides that this indicates an impending breakup. Blinded by love, she suffers and agonizes, not allowing for the thought of other serious reasons for such inattention. And it may be about financial problems or difficulties at work, about which the partner does not want to tell anyone, so as not to appear weak.

Getting used to each other causes a slight decrease in the degree of the relationship. He used to develop a strategy to win his lover’s heart, but now that the issue has been resolved, he switches to other tasks. More recently, he could rush on a date with a bouquet, regardless of the rain and slush, but now he will be angry if he is asked to buy bread for dinner on the way. Habituation occurs imperceptibly for both, but its effects are obvious – the partner ceased to see the other person as an object of adoration.

Such a situation occurs when, for example, a woman completely “dissolves” in his half. Always there and ready for anything, lives only the cares and problems of his man, forgetting about himself – it no longer needs to be conquered, she became accustomed and ordinary. Often women in this position become completely dependent on their partner and are no longer interested in him.

If a man has relaxed in a relationship with a woman, perhaps the cause is her. Or rather, in her appearance, behavior, habits. At first, the girl was trying to make a positive impression and supported herself in every way shape – makeup, manicure, styling. When the relationship became stable, she decides that it is possible not to apply so much effort and goes to the everyday ponytail and favorite sneakers.

This also applies to negative character traits or habits shown later. After a while, a man discovers next to him not a beauty of model appearance, but an ungroomed girl, gorging herself at night to endless soap operas.

The woman has taken too fast a pace in the development of the relationship, planning a wedding trip and the names of future children. The guy may be planning a wedding, too, but not so soon. Some young men take such sharp turns to slow down, “falling off the radar” for a while.

Sometimes there is a type of girl who seeks to literally “take patronage” over her partner. They decide everything on their own and do not give an opportunity to make a choice – activity and tutelage can cause a desire to hide, to withdraw or completely leave.

This type is ideal for indecisive and infantile men. Those who are used to decide their own fate, such an alliance will be burdensome.

Your partner has found someone else or just fell out of love, but does not dare to announce it yet. This cause of separation is the simplest, but statistically, not the most common.

How to act a woman

If the problem really exists, and there was an obvious estrangement from each other, then of course we need to look for the cause. The first thing to start looking for a way out of any difficult situation is a frank conversation. It is necessary to calmly and thoroughly discuss everything that does not suit everyone in the current situation.

If both are interested in saving the couple, they will try as honestly as possible to find out the root cause of the crisis. When it becomes clear that the guy relaxed in the relationship because of the girl, she will have to do some work on her mistakes.

First, stop winding herself and him up over nothing, and do not look for problems where there are none. It’s worth taking more interest in your man’s life – support him if he’s having a hard time and help him if he needs it.

Take a look at yourself and critically evaluate is very useful – look at your early photos together. Are you as beautiful as in the early days of your acquaintance? If everyday life completely deprived you of the desire to look after myself, it’s time to urgently remedy this situation.

A woman should realize how invisible she has become on the background of his man. Striving to constantly please the other to the detriment of himself devalues the person as a person. It’s time to remember that everyone should have their own personal territory – interests, friends.

If the girl took the role of leader and began to take up too much space in the life of the guy, the probability of alienation is high. Give your partner more space and air, allow him to define his own desires and goals. Do not impose your principles and do not try to teach, some people need time to “digest” lived.

Let the man know that he is not a “sissy.

Society is a stereotype: a man has no right to show weakness. Many people live their lives this way, trying hard to meet the standards of masculinity. But the stress, chronic fatigue, insomnia deprive even very durable strength.

Need to be able to discern the growing problem and in time to “put a shoulder. Do not ask him to do the impossible, show that you are sympathetic to the man who finds himself in difficult circumstances.

Make the relationship more comfortable

Talk about your feelings sincerely, show your partner your care and interest. Try to find a balance in the relationship and sometimes pull away slightly, devoting himself to personal interests. Listen carefully to the mood of the man and time to catch changes.

Criticize properly

Unfair criticism can provoke aggravation in a couple. Discuss wrong, in your view, the wrong moves without witnesses and without raising the tone. Criticize gently and only on the basis of facts, without speculation and stories of others. Your goal is to sort things out, to give your opinion, and not to quarrel.

Give a man a break

Take a break in the relationship, limit yourself to calls or even correspondence. Change the scenery and go on a trip for a few days. In a new environment will be able to freshen feelings or slowly assess the situation.

What you should not do

It is foolish to make a stormy scene of jealousy without sufficient reason, but some people repeat such mistakes over and over again. Scandals do not serve to strengthen healthy relationships, and the initiator of loud showdowns usually ends up with a single negative result. If you demand an immediate response, put forward ultimatum demands, the reaction of the man will sometimes be harsh and can provoke a quick breakup.

How to understand that it is time to end the relationship

When a man feels a sense of fear from realizing the need to make important decisions and be responsible for the choices made, then such a relationship has no future. Everything becomes clear if a man pulls away because he is afraid to make up his mind definitively and doubts his actions. A woman can endlessly wait for her partner to do adult things and, in the end, just waste time.

If you are constantly criticized by the man, you feel that you burden him, he avoids communication under any pretext – most likely, everything went too far and your couple is on the way to breaking up. To be together with the guy, but constantly doubt their own value and be under pressure or end it all and get freedom – the decision that will have to take.

Put a stop and try to start over after realizing the mutual estrangement. If feelings have faded and all the good things are in the past, it’s not worth clinging to what has passed and trying to revive what is no longer there.

The guy relaxed in the relationship: sorting out all the nuances

This article was written by a man. He pulled himself together and gave away a lot of male secrets. He outlined the top ten mistakes that we girls make in a relationship, and he will help us sort them out.

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To keep “in check” or manipulate?

For some reason women think that a man must always be “kept in check. Otherwise he will relax! And to do this they resort to a variety of methods. For example, a girl actively demonstrates that she has other fans, and great buddies. Like, “I am in demand, don’t relax, buddy!”

Such a girl quite sincerely believes that by doing so she is making her relationship better. Like, the man will be afraid to lose her and out of this fear will try to be better.

And what about the fact?

If you dig deeper, it’s clear that she has only positive intentions: she wants to make the relationship better. But the methods she uses are pure manipulation. I smile when such girls come to me for consultation and they say, “Yaroslav, what should I do? My husband manipulates me. He’s acting strangely, he’s become closed and incomprehensible. It’s like he’s playing some kind of game with me.”

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And as soon as I hear something like this, I understand in advance that the woman herself is manipulated as much as her man and receives the same manipulation in return. For some reason, however, she sincerely believes that her actions are completely normal. But when her husband does the same thing, it’s not good.

On the other hand – to be faithful and show 100% loyalty to the man is scary: “What if a man will relax? He will think that if a girl is faithful to him, accepts him as he is, you can not strain yourself…”.

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To feel like a hero.

A little boy, a defenseless kitten, a flower, if you want he has been enough and with his mother, now he has grown up and dreams of being strong. Yes, to be strong for a man – it’s normal, even in spite of the need to whine, complain about life, here it hurts, there it hurts, the temperature is 36.9, save-help. Believe me – these are exceptions, all the rest of the time a man needs to be sure that you admire and awe him. Because if you do not tremble, then, excuse me, what are you for (no, we do not think so, it’s life so suggests)? So from time to time, don’t forget to let your lover know that he is the smartest, bravest, rock wall, iron fist or any other epithet that the man will believe. Even if he knows he’s strong, what good is it when you doubt it?

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2 You’re limiting his personal space.

If your boyfriend is in a bad mood or doesn’t want to talk to you right now, just leave him alone. Men are not women, and we think differently. Most of us don’t like to discuss our problems the way you do. We’re more likely to keep things to ourselves. So don’t try to, to roust and talk to your boyfriend, better to leave him alone. Otherwise, this can all turn into a serious argument or a breakup.

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Relationships without grudges

He doesn’t cover his toothpaste, throws things around and never, ever washes the dishes after himself! And lo and behold, you have already managed to offend, yell at him, or even cry. In vain. First, no matter how absurd it may sound, most often the man does not understand what exactly you were mad at, and most likely thinks that you are angry, because he was all you very unlucky. And, as you know, from the awareness of his own inferiority can even get sick (“6 signs that you like to be unhappy (and how to combat it)”). Secondly, men can not stand tears on a physical level. Do not make your chosen one feel bad. And do not forget – he overlooks the little things, not because he decided to mess with you, but because a man, unlike a woman, is responsible for the global world, and to the small planet, which includes household troubles, he simply does not care. Agree, it is better to let him control the big one. You will be more relaxed.

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3. you’re relaxed.

This is probably one of the most common reasons men leave or start thinking about cheating. How many women, thinking that since they are already in a relationship, relax and stop taking basic care of themselves – not shaving their legs, forgetting to go to the beauty salon, etc. FYI, you should continue to take care of yourself even if you have a steady man, if only because he wants to see a beautiful woman next to him.

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Do not stay in the dark

All men are sure – every woman wants to get married, and if she doesn’t want to marry him specifically – then she’s going to marry someone else. And so in everything – a man should know everything that is within his comprehension, and even more. By the way, this does not mean that you have to tell everything to the point. Talk about the main thing, do not hide your feelings, men are highbrow inventors much better than we are. Couples grow and become stronger by overcoming adversity together. Know that every time you do not say something, you build walls inside the sacred space of the relationship.

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4. You have no social life outside the relationship.

Do whatever you want, just don’t turn into that woman whose raison d’être is relationships. Don’t be the one who forgets about her girlfriends, and only brings them up when she’s in trouble with her boyfriend. This not only suppresses men, but also makes them think that you look pathetic – and that certainly won’t interest anyone.

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Have your own life

Personal space is necessary for almost all self-sufficient people. It’s normal. To be able to go out to a bar with friends without your wife strapped to your arm, to relax on a Friday night in an empty room without having to decide over and over again what color to paint the walls, and just, in the end, to be alone. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, believe me.

In addition, personal space is also necessary for you. Because if you do not have anything of your own, then your relationship stands on one leg. Don’t be afraid to make friends, stop smothering your lover in your arms (: “14 women’s fears in relationships that get in the way of true love”).

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5. You’re passive aggressive.

A separate trait that most women have, and it drives us crazy. When your man asks you what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” but you keep whining and expecting him to keep asking you, you just risk causing him a sea of negative emotions. He will soon question you again, because he KNOWS that you are upset, but if you keep doing this day in and day out, sooner or later things will reach the point where he will snap and just give a damn about what’s going on with you. Avoiding this is easy – if you have a problem or are unhappy, tell him directly!

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The flip side of “I’m a hero,” because sometimes even kings need support. By the way, this does not mean that you have to make decisions for him, to destroy everything around him and build anew, sometimes it is enough just to hold his hand, believe me, it helps. A man wants to hear from a woman, “Honey, I can’t put into words how much I appreciate what you do for me and the kids.” Because really, no matter what he does, no matter what heights he reaches, he does it all solely for you and maybe only partly for himself. But he alone needs much less. Support your chosen one, and the result will not keep you waiting.

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6. You’re picking on him.

Nobody’s perfect, you know? And even your boyfriend isn’t perfect. Constantly reminding him that he’s doing something wrong is not an effective way to influence him. Do you wish he would change after all? Start with “I love it when you…”.

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For a man, the key to a woman’s love is her fidelity. If a woman loves, she is faithful – she can’t imagine herself with someone else, because that other she just doesn’t need. And if we can forgive an accidental betrayal, which is “drunk”, which “does not mean anything, it just happened”, then for men it is a blow below the belt. The stronger sex, no matter how they position themselves, by nature possessors, and therefore worse than to share “his”, for them, and can not be. Be faithful to your man, and he will answer you in the same, and what can I say – he will move mountains for you.

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7. You don’t appreciate him enough.

Stop paying attention to what he’s doing wrong or not doing at all. Focus on what he is doing. Praise him for it. The more praise he gets from you, the better chance you have of getting more love and understanding from him.

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This truth is as old as the world. You can cook very well, you can look great, but if there is no sex in a couple, then there is no couple, either. Unless it’s a conscious and mutual choice (: “Asexuality: how do those who don’t want sex live?”).

Photo source: Getty Images

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8. You have grumpy old lady syndrome.

This is the biggest factor that puts men off. I’m a positive person, and I wouldn’t want to see a young lady next to me who whines/grumbles/nags 24/7. We men are aware that you have bad days, but not every freaking day! Trust me, no one wants to hang out with someone who is so full of negativity. Try to be more positive. It will not only help improve your relationship, it will make your life happier.

The only thing worse than constant nagging is accusing the man of being the cause of your bad mood. Let’s say he does something when you’re not in the mood. And when he makes another mistake, you get even more in the mood. You take your anger out on him. This is WAY worse than your constant negativity.

I have friends who have complained more than once that they, without doing anything wrong, nevertheless caused their girlfriend to be in a bad mood for an entire week. And by the time the girl’s mood had returned to normal, something bad would happen again, and the young lady was in a bad mood again. In the end, all my friends who dated such girls, happily broke up with them. And yes, you can blame yourself if you behave the same way and he decides to leave you.

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9. You’re trying to change him.

Many girls start a relationship with a man, having already noticed his flaws, but hoping in every way that they can fix them. This is fundamentally wrong, and is generally a big push to break up the relationship. Since you’ve already fallen in love with him, then be so kind as to accept him for who he is, and don’t try to reshape a living person in a way that suits you.

Regarding minor lapses, such as white socks with black shoes, just be neat and soft. There’s no need to criticize him harshly or make him feel like an idiot. Try to say it in a way that makes him feel like you care about him, and that will inspire him to make positive changes. Make him value your opinion, not hate it.

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10. You don’t love him the way he wants you to.

Every person feels love differently. A lot of women feel loved when their partner is always willing to help, or when he gives flowers. For men, it may mean nothing. We have our own vision of what love should be, and it’s often very different from yours. If you give him the kind of love you’d like to receive yourself, he may never feel loved.

Pay attention to how he responds to your actions, and you can find out what makes him feel your true love. Once you find out, keep doing what he likes all the time. Here’s an example: I like when my girlfriend hugs and kisses me a lot and often, other men like it when at the end of the day they are waiting for a good dinner, or even a cup of tea, some men are excited about a massage or sex. Or maybe he just needs your support in a difficult time.

After all, it’s not that hard to figure out what he needs. Try to make him a little happier.


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