The guy got tired of the relationship

How to get back a guy who’s tired of a relationship?

You know what google query is one of the most popular among women? “How to get back … ex, current, husband, boyfriend, anyone?”

I have one question, “Why?” Because the “get relationship back” position looks roughly like this: a hunter has killed a hare, but keeps chasing it. Already exhausted, the hare-dinner is far behind, but he keeps running, running, running…

Yes, it happens – the relationship ends, and always for different reasons.

In my opinion, it is better to analyze why this happened and how to act next time. If you do not want to do so, prepared a couple of tips that will help bring back into the relationship and add harmony.

Do not make yourself a complex

Stop reasoning about the relationship from a position of “I’m bad.” Analyze, weigh the pros and cons. Just do not run to your girlfriend for advice.

Think with your head. Sitting around with a bottle of wine usually does not end with anything productive. It all comes down to “men are jerks” and “he doesn’t deserve you.”

And it all ends in self-injury, because he was at least some, and now no one at all. And you don’t have to show off, you just have to accept him for who he is.

Then you shift all the blame onto yourself and run after the murdered hare to ask for forgiveness. Think about it. If you still haven’t changed your mind.

Talk to him.

Yes, I know, some may think this advice is too trite, and what is there to talk to him about?

Nevertheless, luckily or unfortunately, people know how to express their thoughts and intentions with words. If you still have not explained yourself to him, try to talk.

Only without hints and accusations, say straight out what you think and why you want it back. Ask him how he feels and get feedback.

If you want efficient conversation – lead it calmly, gently and womanly. How to communicate with a man so that he understands you, I explain in detail in my free online course authorship Man: An honest guide.

If a man tired of the relationship – then they were tense. It means you weren’t acting like a real woman and he wasn’t feeling like a normal man.

This happens when partners do not hear or understand each other.

Change your behavioral strategy. Think back to what the conflicts were about, what was irritating. Such situations are the norm for any relationship between a man and a woman. The only question is how partners get out of this impasse.

Some use it as an impetus for development, while others lose touch and separate.

Jealousy is extreme.

This point can work. But let me tell you right away, it’s not fair, it’s manipulative. You can get his attention back if you give him a reason to be jealous.

If you show that you’re doing fine without him and a new candidate for the hand and heart was waiting for you around the corner when you broke up.

BUT… Let’s face it: if you’re reading this now, fall asleep alone. There are plenty of reasons to be jealous. The main thing is to think of the time and place.

You will not become happier, and he will not either. Man change – the problems will remain, so I recommend working on your map of the world.

Admit your mistakes.

I’m not discovering America when I say that admitting your mistakes is hard. It always is. First, to do so, you have to at least trust yourself. Second, you have to have the courage.

Yes, it takes courage and initiative to admit and tell your man that you were wrong. If it was really all your fault.

If the noun “courage” still surprises you, perhaps you are one of those women who thinks that only a man can (or worse, should) apologize and admit his mistakes. No, that’s not true.

There is still a category of women who think that admitting a mistake equals bending over and putting a man on your neck.

This is nothing more than a myth. Everything will happen exactly the opposite: by admitting your faults and letting a man take the helm of your relationship, you will do better for yourself as a woman first and foremost.

Remind yourself of where it’s been good.

Yes, this requires renewed communication. And bring the conversation up to the point that it’s not all bad. It’s just the two of you need to make a relationship choice. Temper your selfishness and ego and learn to compromise.

Remember the moments when you were good together and use them as fuel and motivation for a second chance.

A separate story is unfulfilled communications. Especially if everything was good and you vowed to love each other to the grave, were going to get married and have children with a dog, and then suddenly it was over.

Few people think about WHICH woman those promises were made to.

In love, soft, feminine, radiant – that’s exactly what a woman of the candy-boquet period looks like.

And then you moved in together. And you decided to boss him around where to sit, what and when to eat, who to date, how many times to go to your mom and not put your feet on the table and how to act, because you know better.

Have you done that too? Confess in the comments.

Sweetie, if you just “nailed it” – the situation can be remedied. Show a different side of yourself. Love is very important, but not the most important part of your relationship with a man.

He promised to marry one woman, but in the home he saw a completely different woman. No wonder he changed his mind.

Analyze your behavior. I guarantee your relationship changed along with your condition, you just didn’t notice.

Last of the Mohicans

Before you turn on the “get back at any cost” program, try talking to different men.

Maybe your desire to get your ex back is just a lack of attention? Maybe you don’t have enough sex? Or you’re too much nostalgic and don’t know how to live in the moment.

Interact, go on dates to better understand them and your relationship needs, and most importantly, don’t be afraid of new ones.

You hold on to the old when you’re not ready for the new. You can create the kind of relationship you want. With an ex or with a decent new man, it’s up to you.

Oh, by the way. There is one important nuance. Usually, once you catch a state of inner happiness, deal with the cockroaches, the exes fly back like flies to honey. But I’m not sure you’ll need that kind of relationship then.

With faith in you, Yaroslav Samoilov.

Hi, I’m Yaroslav Samoilov, a certified psychologist, an expert in Men and Women relationships since 2014. I teach women to understand male psychology / build harmonious relationships and become happier – for this I founded this blog and educational online courses, which have passed more than 50,000+ female participants.

If you are interested to know how I became a psychologist – click on the link/read and subscribe to my social networks.

What to do if a man has grown cold and cold to the woman he loves

You probably know firsthand that the old love, the passion, is gone from a relationship. Why does this happen? Is it possible to return the faded emotions? How to behave in this situation? The answers to these questions you will find in our article.

Why a man cools down

First of all, do not panic. To develop a plan of action, you need to find out why a man has grown cold to you. Conduct an analysis of events to clarify the situation. The most common reasons for this condition are:

  • Unattended appearance. You probably met this situation when a woman is in a relationship for a long time, she stops taking care of herself, her face has no makeup, her hair is not tidy, her clothes leave much to be desired. In general, her image is significantly different than it was at the beginning of the romantic relationship.
  • Busyness at work. If a man spends a long time at work, he is tired, he has no time for personal life, it is quite possible that this development.
  • If the chosen one reads the girl like an open book. All of her actions are predictable, it is clear that he will eventually become bored with her. He will lose interest.
  • Lack of common topics of conversation. Any emotions during the romantic period cool down. Passion goes on the wane. A routine emerges. Then it turns out that besides sexual interest there was no unifying link.
  • The woman is completely subservient to the man. She seeks to please him in everything, overprotective. Over time, this begins to irritate. Man cools down, even rudeness may occur.
  • Interest in the other woman. It is possible that the cooling off is a sign of the presence of a new object of infatuation.
  • Grumpiness. If a woman begins to grumble, irritated, it is natural that the man cools down to her.
  • The romance is gone from the relationship. Regardless of how many years you are together, if you have completely disappeared romance, you do not go to the movies, not walking together, do not call each other sweet names, along with this evaporates from the relationship happiness and intimacy.
  • The same kind of intimacy. Men need variety in intimacy. Sex is important to them. If a woman does not like to have sex, she does not accept variety, then quickly there will be boredom in bed, which will lead to a cooling in life.

Only by figuring out what is the cause of the cooling, you can improve the situation.

What to do if a man has gone cold

If you have decided to return the sharpness of feelings, previous emotions, passion in the relationship, you will have to make a lot of effort. To restore the faded feelings will require time and patience. If you let the situation on its own, the cooled emotions will go away completely.

  • While you’re thinking about how to behave in this situation, fill the relationship with comfort and warmth.

Why has a man cooled in the relationship?

Take your chosen one for what he is, do not try to remake it, fix it. Recognize his right to the habits, point of view. Leave suspicions, reproaches. Do not show your dissatisfaction.

  • Go back to the roots of your relationship, to the point where you were good.

It is a common misconception that building a relationship comes from the breakup point, where you were bad. Offer to go to a memorable place for you, do something you did together, maybe it’s cooking dinner, a movie, a skating rink. Pleasant moments will help to displace resentment from your life, joint claims.

  • Analyze what your actions may have offended the man.

Try to honestly admit to yourself that you are to blame for what is going on. You’ve probably met the situation more than once when a woman, being in a relationship for a long time, begins to “nag” her partner for any reason, capricious, forbids meetings with friends.

If you do not show this behavior, and the man is still cold, then perhaps he has problems at work, which he does not want to transfer to you. Figure out the situation. Express your concerns.

  • Just talk to the man, without the tantrums.

Find the right moment. Do not start a conversation from the doorstep, when he came home from work. Welcome your chosen one, offer to take a shower, cook “yummy”, set the table, you can light candles.

After the man has eaten, sat down on the couch to rest, snuggle up to him, start a conversation in quiet tones. Speak from “I position,” don’t turn to accusations. Make sure that during the conversation the man is not watching TV or leafing through the news feed. He can’t hear you in that moment.

  • Be indispensable.

You mean as much to a man as he gets high from you. If he gets inspiration and energy from communicating with you, he will literally dissolve in you. If you are constantly dissatisfied, appealing to his sense of duty and conscience, complaining, whining, demanding something, then your value will not increase.

Don’t let a man get a headache instead of a high. He doesn’t like pressure. Of course, you shouldn’t pretend to be happy if you feel like crying. The play will unfold anyway.

  • Allow yourself to be the woman you’ve been stuck for a long time.

Become the one your chosen one once paid attention to. Update the closet, get a new hairstyle, manicure, take care of yourself. Make a new hobby, expand networking, meet with girlfriends, allow yourself to go to a cafe. So you’ll get your partner interested in yourself. Remember that men, like big kids, reach for all the interesting and bright.

  • Think about the variety of intimate life, but do not go overboard with it.

Do not let the fear of cooling in the relationship, make you a priestess of love. The sexual side is just a part of love. Of course, intimacy is important for men, the novelty of it, openness, but the relationship is not built only on intimacy. Heat up the interest of men his sexuality, do not be afraid to show desire, the first activity, but do not go overboard.

  • Stop controlling the man, give him back his freedom.

This is annoying. Let him go fishing, with friends, to the bathhouse, to soccer. Let him decide for himself how to spend his personal time. Believe me, you can’t keep love in a clenched fist. Let your partner go. Be calm, gorgeous, self-sufficient, interesting. Then the man himself will want to spend time with you, quickly return home.

If a man shows coldness, do not literally hang on his neck. Take a break in the relationship. Give him time to miss you. You also need rest, strength to reset the relationship. Turn toward self-development. This is more rewarding time than sadness.

In addition, you will show yourself to be an interesting woman, a versatile person. Read a book, tighten your tongue, take up sports. There is a lot of interesting things in the world. Live an active life, be cool, don’t depend on your partner. He will think about the fact that he may lose you if he doesn’t change his attitude.

If a man has grown cold, there are reasons for that. Before you take action, find out what they are. Behave sensibly and calmly. Take into account your own mistakes, do not make them. Self-develop. If you love each other, you will stand the test, your relationship will move to the next level.

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