Why her husband fell out of love with his wife, and whether it is possible to fix it.
Very often you can hear from a woman: “my husband does not love me, but from the family does not leave. This problem occurs in many families and not always evaluated seriously. Sometimes it just seems that her husband does not love her, because over time, feelings fade, passion subsides.
In some cases, this really happens: a man fell in love with his wife, stays with her because of the children, common property, out of fear to start all over again. As a woman in this case, consider in our article.
The essence of the problem.
Almost every family experiences difficult periods, rifts and misunderstandings. Sometimes family life gets better with time, sometimes you have to break up forever. In any case, each of the spouses should try to survive such a moment with dignity and without unnecessary stress.
What to do if the husband fell out with his wife, the wife often does not even imagine, exacerbating the already difficult situation their attempts to restore the family. First of all, you need to understand the reasons for this behavior of men – is it a real problem or far-fetched. Then you can already decide whether to fight to keep the family.
Most often, women, because of his emotionality, even just tired husband or his lack of mood for some reason perceive as a loss of her husband’s feelings for her. Then the needless insults and even fighting can really lead to what she feared.
It is necessary to analyze the situation, how often and for how long periods of indifference men. If such cases recur regularly, then there is cause for concern.
The lady takes the situation into her own hands
When a family drama unfolds in a similar scenario, the decision of what to do next should be made by the wife. Should not frighten and stop the presence of children, joint accommodation and other property, “acquired by hard work”. The main thing in a situation where a man does not love and does not let go, to make him understand that his wife is not his property, as well as children, and all the rest must share by law. Tolerate the antics of her husband in the hope that he will come to his senses and understand what an invaluable gift in the form of taking back his wife, do not. This can go on forever, and you’re wasting your life waiting for a miracle. Besides, that’s the way men are, few of them voluntarily leave a good woman.
They look at life together, especially with age, very practical. If a housewife and a smart woman – in the house, then the beautiful artist can be found on the side. This is usually called an outlet.
Signs of fading feelings
Psychologists identify the main signs that allow you to determine that your husband’s former feelings are really gone:
- The man stops showing his feelings: does not hug, does not kiss, does not give signs of attention. On his wife’s attempt to kiss him, he tries to avoid touching him.
- Does not share his problems with his spouse, as before, does not talk about incidents at work, does not discuss important events, does not advise before making important choices, that is, in every way protects his personal space and tries to spend all his free time outside the home.
- Constantly criticizes the actions of the spouse, picking on little things – do not like the food prepared, wrong or wrong ironed shirt, etc., without paying attention to the efforts made and the actual successes of the wife.
- Lack of respect for the other half: constant insults and humiliation of the spouse during arguments, unpleasant remarks about her appearance or clothing.
- Does not call once during the day to inquire about his wife and the affairs of the house and children.
- Sexual life is reduced to a minimum, it is perceived by the man as a heavy duty, while not showing any interest and initiative.
- Stops talking about himself and his spouse as a family.
- Reluctantly accepts various family dinners, and avoids “heart-to-heart” conversations.
- Lack of occasions for joint laughter and joy. Psychologists believe that if the spouses no longer laugh together at something, there is no humor in the relationship, then this is a bad sign.
Of course, in each family such signs are purely individual, sometimes it is very difficult to understand that the man has fallen out of love with his spouse, if initially there was no trust and intimate relationships. But if a woman really did not cool down to her husband and is trying to keep the family, we must first of all, to understand the reasons for this behavior of men.
Why is he hiding treason?
As long as a man values the relationship with his wife, he will hide the fact of the betrayal. Whether it was spontaneous stupidity or quite a conscious decision – no matter. This is the only way to preserve the confidence of his wife and family climate in general. There is a particular category of people who firmly believe that there is nothing better than the truth. However, imagine the situation: you think your marriage is perfect, feel happy woman, but one day my husband confesses to fraud, saying that it was a mistake, and he loves only you. What happens in the end? Harmony and well-being comes to an end.
When a woman accidentally finds out about the adultery, the question invariably arises in her mind, “Why is her husband cheating but won’t admit it?” The desire to find out as soon as possible, to get revenge or punish are the first emotions that often lead to unfortunate consequences. We need to figure out why this is happening, and is it realistic to fix it? Probably the spouse does not want to destroy the family, but also can not cope with their weaknesses. It is very different when he hides the connection on the side of selfish motives. If he is financially dependent on the legitimate companion, or he does not have his own home, it is time to think, is it worth it to establish a relationship with a man like this?
Reasons for cold husband
Sometimes a man in a marriage really loses interest in his spouse for a while. This may be due to stressful situations, problems at work, financial problems, the appearance of children, ill health, etc. Such problems are often temporary in nature, and with joint effort they can be overcome and return to the old feelings. Much more serious if the reason for the cooling of feelings is the emergence of sympathy for another woman. What makes a man to have an affair on the side? The blame for this can be both the wife and the husband, and sometimes – both.
The wife herself is to blame
The main mistake of many women is that after marriage they become a kind of “housewives” – constantly in the home care, all the time giving the house and the child, ceased to care for themselves, not getting out of bathrobes and slippers on their feet.
In a man’s eyes such a woman ceases to be intriguing and desirable, romance and sharpness of feelings disappear. She ceases to give her spouse the love and attention that she had in the beginning. He does not see her as the woman who previously looked so attractive and well-groomed.
In such a situation, it is quite easy to regain the interest of your man. The main thing to remember is to be not only a mother and a housewife, but also a beautiful and seductive woman. You should always look decent – neat hairstyle, nice clothes. It is also necessary to develop intellectually, to do what you like (for example, to learn foreign languages, the history of the ancient world, to draw, write novels, etc.). The main thing is that the husband always sees an interesting, mysterious, with a sense of dignity woman.
The reason is in the man.
There has always been an opinion that it is very difficult to understand women. However, modern psychologists say that to understand the male psychology and the causes of discord in the family is much more difficult.
As a rule, the most common reasons for this behavior of a man are as follows:
- Stress of responsibility in family life, especially when having a child.
- Personal complexes of a man, can not cope with the role of the husband, father, head of the family.
- A banal escape from responsibility and family problems, spoiled, selfishness by virtue of their upbringing.
- Material insolvency or, on the contrary, a feeling of permissiveness because of the great amount of money (I buy all the pleasures).
- Another woman has fallen in love with.
In this case, the efforts of one wife will not help save the relationship, you need the desire of the man himself.
Fear of being alone
If a man does not love and does not let go, perhaps you have forgiven him too much, and he felt the pleasure of impunity. In this case, most often he behaves a little arrogant, showing in every way that he can find a partner – no problem. You’re the one who has to think about how to go on living. Plus, there are often words of humiliation directed at women like: “Who needs you,” “Who will even look at you,” and so on. And it does not matter what she really looks like and personal qualities. She may be a beauty, an excellent hostess and successful in life. Why does not a man let a woman like this go? Because he is afraid to be alone. And he says derogatory phrases because he hates what he says to others. On the face of deep complexes, chief among them – his own inferiority and self-doubt. Do you need such a man around if he is as helpless as a child?
How you can try to save the family
Keep the family or not, it should decide the woman herself, based on her feelings, analysis of the situation and her husband’s behavior. No one can know a man better than she does. She must decide for herself whether to make an effort to resume the relationship, agrees to wait until the crisis in the spouse and he will love her again.
What is recommended to do a woman for the resumption of feelings:
- If at least some relationship survives, and the spouses continue to live together, you can arrange an interesting trip to romantic places where you can be alone.
- Persuade your husband and ask a psychologist to solve the problem.
- Praise the man more often for his virtues, existing and imaginary, to show gratitude for his actions. Man should feel important and exceptional.
- Sincerely take an interest in your husband’s affairs at work.
- Dramatically change your appearance – make a new stylish hairstyle, makeup, buy a couple of seductive things; try to show your strengths.
- Try to talk to your husband on topics that interest him, have common interests that will help you get closer.
- Always be in a good mood, radiating positivity, prepare for the coming of her husband his favorite dishes, organize small surprises.
- Love and respect yourself. As they say, “you will not love yourself, no one will love you.
- Give yourself and your actions some mystery, to interest your husband. Sometimes it is even useful to cause him a little jealousy, so he realized that he is a very interesting woman who will never be without male attention. To do this, you can arrange a meeting in advance with his girlfriend, so she called you in front of her husband, and awkwardly apologizing, rushed out of the house, pre-dressed up. Let the man will have an excuse to sit in contemplation, where his wife went.
Tips from a psychologist
It can be very difficult to overcome the separation with your spouse, and also to understand that love is over. Psychologists recommend women not to dwell on what happened, and accept the situation with dignity. To cope with the separation will help the following tips:
- An active lifestyle;
- new acquaintances;
- hobbies for other men;
- a new hobby;
- active sports;
- development of one’s abilities.
If a woman will engage in self-development, improvement of her abilities, she will attract the attention of men around her. Self-sufficient girl will never be depressed, living only memories of the past.
What is better for a woman not to do if her husband has fallen out of love with her
Often a woman who has decided that her husband no longer loves her, begins to rush, committing stupid and reckless actions, thus further alienating his man.
So, here is a list of things that a woman should not do:
- Arrange a showdown with scandals and tantrums. This way you can not achieve anything, but provoke a complete breakup is very likely.
- You should not impose on a man, call and pursue him, trying to return his feelings, to put pressure on his pity and to show how a woman feels bad without him and lonely. Pity will never replace love.
- In case of suspicion of the presence of another woman, do not behave like an interrogator – constantly checking her husband’s phone and computer, calling her husband’s friends and colleagues, following him, making scandals with her mistress and even engaging in hand-to-hand violence. Such measures, as life has shown, also do not help to keep the family and return the love of her husband.
- Blackmail your husband with children, money, apartment or disclosure of his adventures to others.
- Less likely to listen to the advice of your girlfriends.
- Do not remain completely indifferent, comforting yourself with the illusion that all of itself will improve and her husband again rush to his feet, do not feel sorry for yourself and blame yourself or her husband, endlessly digging into this problem.
Thus, if the man still has any feelings, you can always try to solve the problem together, without the involvement of relatives, girlfriends or friends. It is necessary to remember about mutual trust and respect. If the connection between the spouses is still there, you can return the love. And if there are no feelings, then no measures will not help.
As psychologists say, in such a situation there are only 2 ways out:
- There is an opportunity to rehabilitate the relationship, to restore the former feelings between the spouses in the case if the man is ready and willing to change, to make efforts to preserve the family.
- If a man fell in love with another, if you can not keep the family, it is best to part with dignity, without unnecessary scandals and mutual insults, to try to keep friendly relations for the sake of the children.
Owner by nature.
Many unions and families are created on the principle: the girl was good, sensible, and got married. And when in life he meets a more attractive woman, they immediately begin to think that in marriage, and then there was no love, but here – there is. And a love triangle arises: the wife loves her husband, he loves his mistress, and she – in the hope that she met her destiny, as a rule, does not even know about his marital status.
If the man is a possessive man by nature, not endowed with conscience by nature and upbringing, then he will keep both ladies near him by all possible means. At the same time, each of them will hear the virtuoso speeches about how hard it is for him, how he has to break. In such situations, men manage to keep both of their ladies by promises, mad explanations of what is happening and vows of love to each of them. This is the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman.
5 ways to get a man back if he fell out of love
What to do if a man has fallen out of love with you, and is it possible to get him back?
Having met once, the two begin a life together. Everything turns out great – the feelings overwhelm each of them, happiness knocked into their house and settled, it seems forever. But it only seems to be forever, unexpectedly changes rushed in and, alas, destroyed the life that they had collected piece by piece… She wakes up and hears the door close quietly behind his back. No strength to put up with it – how to get a man if he fell out of love, back, it is not clear, but it is known that she is not going to give up.
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Man fall out of love: what to do.
Nothing worse than the separation with your loved one. Emotions overwhelm, pile up at the same time: resentment and anger, jealousy and confusion – soberly assess what is happening is not possible. The woman feels lonely and forgotten, the earth is swimming out from under her feet, she does not understand what to do now, and how to put up with it. There is no answer to her torturing question: why did he do this to her? Some unseen force pushes her to call him, to find out: maybe it was a mistake. Is it possible to return a man if his feelings for her have cooled? And so it is in fact?
In this situation it is important not to take any action in a hurry. The first thing you should do – stop dramatizing the situation, put your thoughts in order and develop a strategy to fight for his beloved. It is possible – so do many and make their own.
How to get a man: tips from men
Everyone has friends who also do not want to put up with what is happening, knowing about the relationship before the breakup. Man – a friend can give good advice, which should be listened to:
- Even if you consider yourself a victim of what’s going on – apologize. After analysis the woman will see her mistakes, will understand that she did not behave as she would do now;
- you owe it to yourself to meet, and talk. Take this step first – offer to discuss everything together;
- When you meet, behave politely, but you shouldn’t bend – both are to blame for the breakup, not just the woman; don’t show your pain and despair by evoking pity;
- Do not make any mistakes that were previously present, such as verbal abuse or your own tears;
- the woman must learn to control her emotions;
- seek help from a psychologist.
Return the man: tips from psychologists
Specialists-psychologists recommend in this situation not to give up, but to take control and begin to act.
3 ways to return a man and his love
- A woman should not “melt away”. Pity is not the best friend for the return of her beloved. It is necessary to gather “will into fist” and change your image: hairstyle, hair color, correct your figure in the gym.
- Try to do what you like: knitting, embroidery, etc. Every day you should look not just good, but chic, even if you do not meet him, his friends will let him know;
- You have to be able to be unpredictable. Organize casual meetings, it’s good to have another man around (specifically coming at your request). He thought that without him everything would go “wrong” for you – no, all is well. You are calm, beautiful and confident – demonstrate that;
- Try to intrigue him, this will make him wonder: did he do everything right?
- Do not agree to sex when he suddenly appears on the doorstep, inventing a reason for it. Do not show that you miss him, but do not be rude, do not scandalize. Make him play by your rules.
Return the love of a man and keep him after the breakup.
When something incredible happens and a man returns, you should try to keep him, to return the old feelings. For women who are seriously thinking about how to return the attention of a man, the main focus should be love for a man, complete with a desire and the ability to forgive.
A woman, if she loves herself, should take the man for who he is. There is no need to go back to the past – it’s time to start over. If you have a dream to be with him, to raise children together, to live their lives with him, then learn to forgive, listen, understand and accept what he says. Man must realize that he is not in danger of being crushed by the weight of heavy reminders of the error, reproaches, inappropriate jokes. To take stock of his past, you will need an admission of your guilt as well, a demonstration of your desire to be together again, with a happy continuation this time.
Is it necessary to return the ex.
Here there is no unambiguous advice. Some people want a man to return, some decide for themselves: no – betrayed once, betrayed again. But this is not always unequivocal. Someone betrays again, and someone regrets about the fleeting infatuation, because of which almost broke his life. People who need each other do not break up forever.
You have to fight for a person when he is really worth it. But only what has to happen will happen. You don’t have the right, and you can’t manipulate the situation.