If a girl does not want a relationship, how to start a new life and avoid mistakes
Some people were lucky enough to meet their love on the school bench and then successfully create a family. Others, however, have experienced repeated disappointments. A basic human need is to be loved and accepted with all our strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, when we are rejected, it is very painful.
More than once I have heard from friends and acquaintances such phrases: “I love a girl who does not want to be with me” or “I am in love with a guy who does not pay attention to me!” The main mistake people make in this situation is trying to get attention and reciprocate, while you need to focus on yourself and your attitudes.
If you are currently upset and don’t know how to get over rejection, this article will help you set yourself up for a better future and deal with the past. Don’t hide your emotional wounds, don’t “hide” negative experiences in a far corner. Without hard work you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
What to do if the girl rejected
On the Internet there is a burning question from men of all ages: “What to do if you were rejected in a relationship? And personally, I have been approached several times by guys I know with the same question. One of them even tried to befriend me so that I could influence my friend to help him. Alas, she was adamant, and we are still in touch with the young man. Trying to overcome the “Friendzone” he made the typical mistakes, which we will talk about a little later.
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So, you are rejected and your love has not been accepted, which means you have two choices – to give up or to fight on. Right now, all you’re probably thinking about is how to get the girl you want.
Stop it! Going on the rampage is unwise, especially if she does not want to get acquainted and communicate with you. Don’t push, then you will have a chance in the foreseeable future.
When the girl refused, you can not remind her of your feelings, and send her dozens of messages every day. It is better to stop paying attention to the young lady altogether and ask when she will be ready. This is a sure step to nowhere.
In case your lover refuses to meet, you can take a wait-and-see attitude and try to turn the tide in your favor, and then easily make the girl fall in love with you.
Here are some tips on where to start:
- Make friendships. Friends have a great influence on our lives, as well as our opinions on a variety of issues. Therefore, the first thing to do is to make friends with the girl’s environment. If she has brothers or male friends, this is a great opportunity, start bonding through them. Having heard several times from your friends that you are an interesting conversationalist and a decent man, the girl will think. Jealousy will also work perfectly. If you are seriously interested in one of your friends, the girl will feel dissatisfied. She will try to return your favor and may want to start a relationship.
- Have patience. It’s hard to wait, especially when the prospects are not clear. Allow the situation to develop gradually, do not go ahead. If the lover says she is not ready for a serious and permanent relationship, offer her a meeting of a free nature for a pleasant pastime. Let her think that she does not have to do anything, just like you do her. Be active unobtrusively, wait for a response. Over time, your meetings will become permanent, or stop altogether. In any case, this is a chance to get to know each other before trying to build a serious relationship.
- Set deadlines. No matter how persistent you may be, all of these techniques and strategies do not always work. So, decide right away, how long are you willing to wait? A month, six months, maybe a year? The game of “cat and mouse” can last indefinitely, and it is you who will suffer the most. All the conditions are fulfilled, the company has become common, and now your best friend is not giving you a pass? If you did everything correctly, do not impose and do not pursue, but were in the girl’s sight, then it is time to reap the benefits. Either you were able to interest her and win her over, or not. Then all that is left is to let go of your loved one and go in search of the right person who will appreciate your worth.
Why does not the girl want a relationship?
Trying to have an affair, you may well hear that she does not want a relationship. And not just with you, but “in general”.
To make the rejection more plausible, the girl will say “I haven’t moved on from my past experience and I’m not ready yet” or “I have a lot of work and absolutely no time for dating.”
All of this may be true. But every woman wants to be paid attention, to give flowers and gifts, to take her to the cinema and cafes. And in the long run, all of us, the fair sex, we all dream of great love and prosperity.
So when a girl says she doesn’t want a relationship, then mentally finish the phrase yourself, “I don’t want a relationship with you.” Well, let’s figure out what reasons make a girl say no? Why does she blow you off and not reciprocate?
- In love with another guy. Conquering such a girl can be almost impossible. Her feelings for the man will be a very serious problem for you. This all depends on the nature of the relationship. If the guy treats her poorly, then you have every chance to fix the situation in your favor.Try to establish a friendly, non-binding communication, and show the girl that she deserves better and more. Let her compare and choose for herself. If the love is unrequited, then find out who the object of her adoration and try to surpass this man. No matter what, in strength, intelligence or appearance. Become like him to get her attention. And then find a way to become even better. Then the girl will see that there is a more interesting and active man next to her, and her attention will quickly shift from him to you.
- You don’t live up to the ideal. You may have a friendly good relationship, but it will not develop further. And the reason for this is the “ideal image of a man” that every woman carries in her heart. If you do not conform to him at least in half, the young lady will not see you as a potential partner and life partner. Try to find out how she presents her prince? What qualities and external data he must have? If this “ideal” and you have common features, then you can try to attract attention and impress her. Show that you are not as simple as you seem. Otherwise, you should leave the idea of winning the girl over right now. Give her time to think about it.
- Good as a friend. When a woman thinks you have a strong friendship devoid of sexual overtones, it’s not at all surprising that she doesn’t want another relationship. After all, if she fails, she will lose a loved one, and she will regret her choice. If you’ve been friends for a long time, just hint that you’d like to take the relationship to the next level and gauge her reaction. Chances are, she hasn’t even thought of you in that way! Many happy couples started their story with friendship. Tell the girl that and let her know that you will remain close friends in any case.
- Too much of an imposition. You can’t invade a person’s personal space before the relationship begins. By behaving this way you will alienate the girl. She will also realize that you are available and ready to wait for reciprocity as long as you want. Of course, women appreciate signs of attention, but blatant “clinginess” causes confusion and fear. Such openness and availability makes you too predictable man, girls interest will fade without having time to flare up. Lost intrigue, which helps feelings develop. Do not shout out loud about your love, do not shower her with letters and flowers. Keep your distance. Let her know that you are a free man and can start a relationship with someone else at any time.
Top 8 effective ways to get over rejection
There are effective ways to survive rejection from a girlfriend.
Eight effective, time-tested tips have been prepared for you. They will help you survive the rejection of the girl you love. To learn from the experience, as well as to succeed in subsequent romances you should:
- Accept reality. At first, you will deny the fact that you were rejected. Bide your time, try to repeat the conversation and make sure her decision is final. Find out the true reasons why the girl can’t or won’t engage. Admitting defeat is the first step toward healing and recovery.
- Don’t deny the pain. Allow yourself to be sad, angry or hurt. You are human and it is normal to feel pain. To acknowledge the loss of a potential partner, feel the full range of emotions. This is the only way you will be free of false hopes.
- Be kind to yourself. After rejection, you are likely to begin to doubt your own attractiveness to the opposite sex. Don’t forget that this is just one girl, with her own personal preferences and motivations. Rejection does not mean that there is something wrong with you. No, it’s just a reason to think and work on yourself. Don’t engage in “self-digging” and searching for non-existent flaws. Focus on achieving inner balance.
- Find support. Life goes on and the people closest to you are sure to give you moral support. Don’t hesitate to ask for a meeting and a chance to speak out, listen to advice and just share your emotions. Remember, there are always those who have your back and a shoulder to lean on in a difficult moment.
- Take your time. New dates can help take your mind off the disappointment, but it’s better to focus on yourself and your needs. It can take weeks, months, or even years to heal a mental wound. Sports, meditation, travel and other activities aimed at self-knowledge and improvement will help you. Dating and meeting with other girls will give only temporary relief. Without working through negative experiences, you won’t be able to build trust and lasting relationships in the future.
- Lesson Learned. Psychotherapy sessions or just a conversation with a psychologist will be very helpful. You need to discuss your experiences, to consider them from different angles. Write down on paper all the pros and cons of the situation that happened to you, and evaluate your notes. Another option is to write a letter to your girlfriend, telling her in detail and honestly all the thoughts, feelings and conclusions you have come to. You don’t have to send it, but by doing so you will feel great relief and be able to let go of the past.
- Take a step back. After finding your inner equilibrium, it’s time to reveal yourself to the world, renewed and more experienced. You may not want to get out of the cocoon you’ve been hiding in for so long yet, but do it. Treat yourself to rest, shopping, socializing with friends and family. Restore your confidence in your own attractiveness, program yourself for success.
- Focus on the search. Now you are ready to plunge into the sea of possibilities and meet someone new. After deep reflection and analysis, you have a greater understanding of what you need. Make a list of the qualities you are looking for in your next partner. Be specific in what you want and prioritize correctly. And then allow yourself to be happy, give the universe a chance to fulfill your dreams.
By going this long way after rejection until you are fully recovered, you will gain inner strength and resilience. Know that no matter what comes at you next, you will be able to handle it.
Tips for the future for men
Whatever the case may be, the main man in your life is yourself. So focus on your own well-being. Don’t think about how to win a girl if she rejected you. Most likely, this is a waste of time. It’s better to take care of yourself.
If you hope for a relationship by being in a friend’s position, your chances are one in five. Is this girl worth the long wait and the missed opportunities? Surely your soulmate is walking around somewhere very close, but you can’t see her. It’s time to register on the dating site eDarling and look for her.
There are situations when a girl loves, but does not want to date. This is probably due to her upbringing, parents, or other life circumstances. Maybe she does not see a future together, and she thinks that rejecting your love, is doing the right thing. You can only do the right thing if you understand her motives.
There are some people who constantly refuse guys in love and relationships. This is usually due to painful experiences and internal attitudes of failure. They are sure that love is a fiction, and no one can make them happy. Whether or not to get involved with such a girl is up to you to decide. You will have to prove your sincerity and reliability for a long time, and not the fact that you will obtain the desired prize.
Despite the past failures, you are still wondering how to get the girl you like?
Take charge of your life! Yes, that’s right. Becoming a compulsive stalker won’t get what you want, but will only waste time. Register on the best dating sites, develop your profession, go in for sports, read literature, find an original hobby – girls will reach out to you on their own.
Reasons why a girl does not want a relationship
Family psychologist. For 8 years I save the “family unit” from the collapse. Helping couples to regain love and understanding.
It seems to start out so well, and suddenly the girl declares that she is not ready for a serious relationship, does not want and can not. You begin to puzzle over why the girl does not want a relationship? Actually, there is only one answer to this.
- 1 Reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship
- 3 Mistakes you can make if you want a relationship, but it’s not working
Reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship
But first let’s look at the reasons why girls objectively do not want to develop a relationship.
- The first is childhood problems.
Yes, what was given in childhood, we carry into the world. If there was not a good relationship between mom and dad, she does not want to repeat this scenario, and she does not know how else to do it.
There is an opportunity here to help. Gently and gently show that you can communicate in a different way, not hurt each other, and respect and love. It will take a long time, but it may work.
- The second – separation.
Not in time. Just experienced the collapse of his hopes, she is still in pain, and here you are with your feelings. She can’t physically respond in the same way, she’s burned out, there’s nothing to respond to. If you want, wait, help her deal with the pain. She’ll appreciate it. But it’s dangerous for the relationship, because she might put you down as a loyal friend and not think of you as a possible partner.
- The third is a mismatch of goals.
This is not so rare these days. Girls have gone decisive, active. For them, a career or business to build is more important than a relationship. You can wait until she changes her mind, or help. But this is also a friendly relationship. There’s a good chance they won’t develop into something serious.
- Fourth, a mismatch in values.
There are times when people are so different that both seem to consist of the same corners and are constantly being hurt by them. Different social environment, attitudes, morals, religion. And then there is the fact that the girl believes in horoscopes. If it says that you do not match, then you will not communicate. It is better not to waste time.
It’s not a good thing, but people don’t stop doing it. And you don’t even have to give the girls a reason, they will think it up themselves.
That’s when you have to take matters into your own hands. Find out by all means, what is the offense, and sort everything out. Well, and if guilty, then ask for forgiveness. And do not be like the fools who think that the word “sorry” is worth so much, that if you say it, it is time to wear in the arms. The best “sorry” – a bouquet of flowers, a gift, a romantic surprise. Not necessarily expensive, as long as it has soul. For example, a painted balloon in her window. A woman’s soul is soft, rebounding. And if not, think, do you need dried bread, in common parlance – rusks?
- The main reason is that you
Here it is, the most correct answer! All the previous ones may be too, but this is the one.
If it happens that a girl doesn’t want to communicate with you, the last thing you want to do is to think about what to do to get her back. To the question “why a girl does not want a relationship,” the only answer – she did not like you. And that’s fine!
Yes, I know you want to twiddle your thumb right now. Don’t hold back. But it’s not going to change anything. If the girl you like turns you down, that’s a sign. It’s the best sign imaginable. And it says one thing – it’s time to change. And when that happens, do not forget to say thank you to the girl who did not start a relationship with you. Be ready for her to want you back, but don’t give in. She’s your past to be thankful for. And you’ve already moved on, and there are very different girls waiting for you.
What do you do to change?
The tips are unoriginal, but the best:
Go to the gym or exercise every day;
- To pump up confidence, willpower and other qualities that girls like, take part in training. Even the free ones have good advice. And check their quality empirically – take it and do it, and see if something works or not. Just remember, nothing ever comes out the first time. Use practice for at least two weeks. There’s one commandment – don’t look for excuses, look for opportunities;
- Find something you like to do. If you really like it, you’ll be good at it, and that always helps you make money. And they are a magnet for girls, and an indicator of your confidence.
Girls like confident guys – it’s an axiom. And it hasn’t changed in a century. So go ahead and remember, my friend, nothing is impossible.
Mistakes you can make if you want a relationship, but it does not work
Under no circumstances should you:
- Stalking, texting, asking to meet;
- Talk about your feelings, especially at the beginning;
- impose, strive to be near her;
- put pressure on her;
- Do not touch her. It’s about innocent touches – taking her hand, supporting her on the steps, putting your arm around her, guiding her. Tactile sensations are an important component, their absence makes the relationship dull;
- Not taking her interests into account. That way you can push her away, but not attract her;
- Do not help. Girls subconsciously always wait for help. Without waiting, they lose interest;
- Take wishful thinking for reality. If a girl thanks you for gifts and goes to the movies with you, she may treat you like a friend. If you see it in a rosy light – here, they say, I’m already winning her over, and she soon leaves, then you can only resent yourself.
If you do any of the things on the list, be sure that you are already seen at the level of skirting. Do you need that? Dignity inspires respect, and that alone is attractive.
Yes, there may be times when there are objective reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship. But more often than not, the reason is you. There’s no point in worrying and moping. Make conclusions and move on. If you’re going to be an interesting man, there’s bound to be a girl worthy of you around.