Love coup: if the girl proposed to break up
Girl suggested to break up … Maybe – joked, said in the heart, in the heat of the moment? At this minute in your head rushes a lot of thoughts – from high-flown “life gave a crack” to the household “no one to iron the shirt. Turn on your cognitive analysis and figure out what the girl means and how to proceed.
Girl suggested to break up: what does it mean?
If the girl wants to break up, the idea of getting drunk or forgetting yourself in the arms of another is a good one, but not the best one. First wake up the psychologist, analyst and strategist in yourself to figure out the reasons, which can be at least three.
Not sure if the girl is only communicating with you? Maybe she has a crush on someone else? Check her social networks with Scanprofile and find out the truth!
A revealing breakup
With the words “Everything, I’m tired, we have to break up,” flying from her lips in a moment of fervor, do not leave, but show emotion. The content of this “we have to break up” can be anything – I want to hold hands, I want a fur coat, not enough sex. Or banal PMS with his unmotivated destructive desires. Or the girl is testing you for manipulability. Or develops the practice of training (she left, you rushed to follow wishes).
You need to be a sensitive partner who knows how to understand the mood of his “soul mate. If the relationship is generally good, without “mutual pains, troubles and resentments,” as Mayakovsky wrote, there is no threat. How to get out of an awkward situation when you got kicked in the heel, talk below.
Pause in the relationship
If a girl offered to break up, saying “We need to take a break, live separately, sort ourselves out,” don’t panic. It’s probably true. Women are brave and straightforward. They say what they think. A pause means a pause. Right now she doesn’t want to continue the relationship for some reason, but for some reason she can’t put a fat dot on the i.
Only you know why the girl took her toothbrush (but left some stuff behind) and went off to sort herself out. It could have been an argument over nothing. Or she got bored in the company of your hopeless attempts to diversify your leisure time. Maybe you bent the line and didn’t consider her opinion. In general, be thankful that she did not stick a note with the words “I can not more, sorry,” and disappeared into thin air, as one of the suitors Carrie from “Sex and the City”, and honestly talked to you, though it left behind a slight sense of uncertainty.
Breaking up true
Sometimes girls decide to break up seriously, having accumulated enough reasons to break up or, worse, having met a more convincing male. The important thing to understand here is this. A girl who is going nowhere is tormented by doubts until the last moment. And at this very moment, while she is weighing and analyzing the correctness of her actions, everything can be changed. There are stories when a man becomes a real alpha male and the girl gets hooked.
If the reason for leaving was a competitor who apparently beat you to it, there’s almost no chance. At least as long as they are in the candy-boquetal period. But something can be done in this hopeless situation.
The girl asked to break up: how to act
So, she’s made a show of breaking up by turning on the “it’s your fault” option. If you are really to blame, and she was deliciously eating your brain about it – take note of the whole list of reproaches, put your eyes down and hug her. Basically – the incident is over. The question – do you need such a bitch, which will continue for every transgression to point at the door or slam it loudly? If you need one, bend over. Admit your guilt. And if you don’t, dominate the girl, get better, stronger, and taller. If quitters happen regularly and on an even keel, let her know that the door opens one way.
Do not take her irrational lamentations to heart, but pay attention to the real complaints. In the absence of real grievances, firmly and confidently cut off the manipulation.
Now about the pause in the relationship. Remember this: a pause is not just a pause. If she says “break up for a while,” you should understand that after that time, her ideas about you are not fundamentally change. The problem will not resolve itself. The past with all its offenses will not go anywhere. So now, during the pause, it is important to push hard to resuscitate the relationship. And if you continue to be a “stooge” and “dog”, even flaring up again after a separation feeling will evaporate faster than boiling water.
Find out what caused the “pause”. Admit that you did not meet her expectations. Say that you value the relationship and want to keep it. During the “pause” continue to be attentive, sympathetic and caring.
Half the time the pause ends up ending the relationship completely. Nevertheless, 50% is a good chance not to give up.
If a girl wants to break up for good and say so not in the process of breaking sets, but over a cup of coffee in a cafe, where she invited you herself, perhaps the idea hatched long and thoroughly. Approximately three months, according to psychologists. Here it is important to understand whether the horse is dead or not. It’s time to get down or you can spur. But do not go too far, turning from a “normal young man” in the pissed wooer, who shows the highest degree of care and attention. Maintain the degree of maximum dedication (time, money and effort) for a long time will not work, and she will still leave, having certainly enjoyed your gentlemanly agony.
If the reason for the breakup was another young man, saving face, wish her happiness. Demonstrate that you respect her choice. Let her know you’re ready to get back together. Thank her for everything.
Saving face in any situation is a quality that many modern men lack. “Save face” means to look like a winner even when you actually lose.
Broke up with the girl: how to forget and start living
Let go of the past – you get the future. This is the answer to the question “what to do if a girl broke up with me”. Start small – delete her phone number, unfriend her on social networks and stop following her there. And here are a couple more practical tips under the heading “broke up with a girl, how to forget.
- Scientists have found that breaking up provokes the body to produce adrenaline. This is a genetically conditioned response to stress with attendant symptoms – headaches, fatigue and anxiety. Getting rid of excess adrenaline is simple: lace up your sneakers and go to the gym.
- Feeling empty? Load the fridge with delicious food. Tryptophan-containing foods such as cheese, fish, meat, mushrooms, and nuts can help you cope with depression and moping. Caffeine, vitamin D and Omega-3 fatty acids have antidepressant qualities. A cup of coffee with chocolate, a good steak, or grilled salmon is just what you need right now.
- Anyway, congratulations. You are the lucky one, who got a chance to start his life with a clean slate and do what he wanted to do before, but could not because of the banal lack of time (relationships are time consuming resource). This is called freedom. Enjoy it, old man.
If this article did not help you, you can ask for expert help at psy-chat.ru. It’s absolutely free!
So, if a girl has offered to break up – don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask. “I respect your decision, but I want to keep our relationship” – such your answer will discourage her at least. And even if it’s serious and she does leave, remember, life has no dead ends. There are traps that we drive ourselves into. And only he who looks up conquers the heights.
Why does a girl want to break up?
Lately, more and more breakups and relationship breakups are happening at the initiative of girls. Guys may not even realize that they will break up, because this may not be preceded by certain signs. However, it is a shocking situation when a girl leaves without even trying to explain the reasons. That is why the men’s magazine masculino.ru will help in eliminating the question of why a girl wants to break up, so that the reader can easily let her go and forget.
As women gain equality with men, they begin to surprise the opposite sex more and more. You couldn’t imagine a situation where a girl breaks up with a guy if she is dependent on him for most of her life. When a woman was totally dependent on a man, she was afraid of losing even someone she didn’t love and hated.
Thus, breakups initiated by girls are the result:
- Acquiring the right to be independent and autonomous of the opposite sex. A woman now enjoys her rights the way she wants to.
- Men’s unwillingness to accept the fact that they can be independent of them. After all, the guy who resents his ex-girlfriend leaving is really just still living in the old ways, when a woman was a man’s property and could not leave him.
Guys should realize that girls can leave them just as often and recklessly as guys themselves leave girls. What men are allowed to do, women are allowed to do.
To make a relationship strong, you have to want it first.
All people dream of a long and strong relationship, which is often associated with a quiet life in love and understanding. After going through a thorny path of relationships and marriage, a good half of these dreamers give up on their idea, and the other half just starts to hope that someday it will still be possible to make the relationship harmonious. But as life experience shows, only a few reach that harmony and love in the relationship, which they dream. What is the matter? Why everyone dreams, but few people achieve strong relationships?
It all depends on the outlook and way of thinking of the partners themselves. After all, it all affects what decisions they will make, what actions they will take, and how they will communicate with each other. And the modern worldview promoted by society and nurtured in the younger generation is the reason why many families live unhappily or fall apart.
What exactly are we talking about here? Your mindset will change dramatically as soon as you stop thinking, “If it doesn’t work with him (her), it will work with the other (her),” and start saying, “This is my loved one and I have to do everything I can to keep our union. These are two completely different positions that cause you to act in diametrically opposed ways.
Modern society says, “Don’t be discouraged. You are young and beautiful. You’ll find someone you love, and he (she) will be much better than the last one. No one doubts that anyone will find a new couple. But still, not always the new is better than the old. There are times when a new partner is chosen because there is no one else to choose from (according to the principle “Better to be with someone than with no one at all, alone”).
The younger generation is trained not to treasure partners, but to change them if suddenly things don’t work out for them. “Find another (another),” that is, don’t think about your mistakes, fall out of love if you love. Do you think that if a person does not value the relationship and is so winded about their partner, can they create a strong union and keep it when crises come?
And after all, crises are inherent in everything! Any change or problem leads to a crisis. Except that a person who is not ready to fight, because he simply does not value what he has, will quickly destroy what he has. And that will be much different from the person who thinks, “I love this person. Fighting is not a reason to break up. As long as we’re together, I can fix something, I can try to make him or her be with me again. How do you think a person who wants to save a relationship and is willing to go to great lengths (and often only needs to apologize, fix their mistakes) will behave?
To make a relationship strong, you have to want to do it first. In other words, you have to stop thinking, “Not one (one), but another (another),” and start wanting to save the relationship and stay close to the one you love: “Because I love him (her). And as long as I feel it, I will try to change myself so that we can live peacefully and amicably. Believe me, your partner will see your impulses and by your own example will try to keep the relationship and change himself, even when you quarrel and in some way do not understand each other.
Why does a girl want to break up?
Answering the question of why a girl left or broke up with a guy, we should not forget that everyone has her own motives for such behavior. However, you can give a list of the most common reasons for leaving the young lady:
- She fell in love with another. Here, the breakup was not an accident. Most likely, the girl first quarreled very much with the guy on some occasions, reproaching him for some qualities or deeds committed, and then the scandals stopped (because she found a replacement for her partner). She left because she found a better match for herself.
- She was tired of the guy. This can also happen when a girl has experienced some pressure and dissatisfaction of her desires in a relationship. If the guy didn’t consider her opinion, ignored her desires, knew how to only order and command the girl, then she simply decided to get rid of such “oppression.
- She was tired of being patient. And girls can tolerate many things: lack of money, entertainment, love, attention, quality sex, recreation together, and so on. Here, too, in a relationship can periodically occur quarrels for certain reasons. If the problem is not solved, then over time the girl just loses patience and leaves.
- She doesn’t have time for the relationship. This can also happen when the girl doesn’t love, doesn’t value the relationship, has big ambitions for career advancement or material success. If a girl will constantly listen to resentment from a guy who interferes with her business, then she will break up with him.
Perhaps love has simply passed?
Of course, people often explain the reason for their departure from the relationship by the fact that love has passed. Is this true? Let’s think logically. If the relationship between a guy and a girl did not last even 5 years, then no love is out of the question. Love is a feeling that comes with years of knowing and being around a partner for a long time. If a girl left months or a year after starting a relationship, then she didn’t love the guy at all.
How often do lovers play the game of “What about you?”! If you love someone, you don’t say it first just because you don’t know how they feel about you. You want to be told first. Or you already admit to something, but immediately ask the question: is your feeling, desire or opinion mutual?
Unfortunately, almost all people are mentally closed off from the world around them. Everyone has experienced the ruthlessness and harshness of others as a child. After experiencing what mental pain is, it is easier for a person to close themselves off from the world so they don’t have to feel that way anymore. As a result, closed people grow up who find it easier to expose only the things that don’t hurt as much, not letting anyone into their souls.
This is undoubtedly a good defense. And it is necessary, because modern people never think about how they can hurt by their actions. At the same time, the closed nature of the soul causes people to never reveal it, even to their beloved partners. And this is the mistake of many couples, because if you are not open with their soul, then you are not able to love the person you love.
Try to make your relationship so that your loving souls were open. No need to open up to all. Be open to yourself and the people you care about. Don’t play the “And you?” game because you are not just showing that you don’t trust the person you love, but you could be driving yourself into a new trap.
Why does playing “And you?” lead to distrust? You want to meet your loved one, for example, and you tell him or her. If you additionally ask “Do you want to see me?” when your offer has already been answered positively, the question is simply inappropriate. If you’ve already been told you want to meet, why ask if the person wants to see you? If he didn’t want to see you, he would have said no and probably told you the reasons why he didn’t want to see you. And with your follow-up question, you’re only showing your distrust of the other person’s wishes: you’ve already been told that they want to see you, but you still don’t believe that they want to see you.
At the same time, playing “What about you?”, in addition to plunging you into distrust and demonstrating a closed mind, makes partners nervous. It is possible that your loved one is not ready for something and does not want to offend you, and you put him in an awkward position with your question. You are already in love, for example, and you have not yet loved. But you are well treated, the man is ready to love you, but had not yet reached this state. And your question you force him to lie, especially when you insist on an answer.
It’s better not to play “What about you?” Let the person want to tell you or do what he wants. To do this, be patient and continue to express the feelings you have. If you love and don’t leave, then just wait a little – and the person will tell you how he or she feels. No need to rush anyone, or you’ll just hear the deserved deception in response to your question. The main thing is to be honest – and over time your partner will want to be honest with you.
Why does a girl dump a guy?
If you are faced with a situation where you are dumped by a girl, you are probably wondering why. And the answer is very simple: you do not suit the girl. This does not make you bad or good. It’s just that what you give and offer this girl, the prospects she sees in a relationship with you, she is not satisfied.
You continue to be a normal person in your own right. It’s just that this particular girl, with all your capabilities, desires, ambitions, actions and habits, doesn’t suit you.
Do not forget that many modern girls dream of “princes” in gold automobiles. In this case, the girls themselves have nothing of value, except for a beautiful wrapping in the form of a fancy dress and well-groomed appearance. Perhaps your girlfriend is in the same category. You fell in love with her “beautiful wrapper” and she dreamed of a “prince”, which you didn’t turn out to be because you weren’t born in a family of rich parents and don’t earn millions every month.
But is the girl herself worthy of the “prince” she dreams of? Perhaps it’s a good thing that she’s leaving you, since you’ll be able to find a more appreciative girl who has a more down-to-earth view of the world and doesn’t put herself above you.
Young people’s relationships have a tendency to break up, which is almost becoming a trend these days, where every year you have to change boyfriends and fill yourself with new emotions (first by worrying about the relationship breaking up and then by loving the new suitor).
It’s probably a good thing that the girl broke up with you, because then you get a chance to find another partner who is more genuinely loving and appreciative, rather than hovering in the clouds and hoping for something that she herself is not worthy of.