Why does the girl ignore after a breakup?
People start relationships and break up in different ways. But many breakups happen spontaneously, after a quarrel, and after a few days, when you have cooled down, you realize that the relationship must return. And then the cherished message is sent or a call is made, but the girl ignores it after the breakup. It hurts, hurts and is not clear: how come, why does not she answer, is it really all over? The answer to this question depends on many circumstances, and they will be discussed below.
How to understand that the ex-girlfriend is ignoring?
Ignoring is simple. You write message after message, but there is no response. Even a “don’t write me anymore” would be a sign of willingness to reconcile, but in response – only silence, even though the messages are read. Although this is also a positive sign – if your partner reads messages, he is interested in you. The message is not read – the girl began to ignore you for real.
The same applies to calls – your loved one is not picking up. Even if she added your number to the blacklist – it’s negative, but an emotion. And if there is an emotion, it means that all is not lost. Ignoring is indifference, a lack of emotion, which hurts the most. You no longer exist-that’s the message of ignoring.
Next, we’ll look at when trying to rekindle a relationship will be successful and when it’s best to take no action. And we’ll touch on ignoring on your part – not the best way to start a relationship after a fight, but sometimes effective.
Why does ignoring after a breakup occur
There are two reasons: intense resentment or manipulation. Which of these depends on how the breakup went and for what reason. However, from resentment, a woman can manipulate, press guilt, and the easiest way to do this is just by ignoring. “It’s your fault – I don’t need you, feel abandoned, pathetic, realize that you screwed it up yourself.” And it works, doesn’t it?
However, if the ex is offended, she can ignore without the goal of manipulation. She just doesn’t want to communicate because the resentment is still alive.
Beloved ignores after a quarrel: how to solve the problem
If the partner wants to restore the relationship, he must take the first step. Ideally, the girl will make a counter step. But she prefers to ignore. If the quarrel was violent, but its cause is not of universal scale, the chances are there. That is, the guy did not cheat, deceive or betray, there was no such thing from the girl’s side either. Just a fight, which happens a lot. And after that, it’s ignore. It’s not terrible, you are not the final and irrevocable ex. And attention loved one can return – messages, calls, gifts. But better – a meeting and a conversation, after which the relationship will either be restored, or severed permanently.
Feelings ex: why she ignores you.
Let’s take our minds off your worries and think – and why does the girl ignore, how she feels? You can’t just pick up and change your attitude towards a guy in the blink of an eye. You can. In individual cases.
As has already been said above, there are three reasons for total ignoring:
- Resentment and sincere unwillingness to communicate (temporarily);
- the woman does not want to resume the relationship.
In the case of resentment, everything is simple, if the reason is not something serious. The man gradually breaks through the “wall” of silence with messages, meetings. The relationship is restored. In this case there is no need for violent emotions, it is better to write or talk calmly, balanced, analyzing the quarrel and accepting his wrongness (if you were wrong). Naturally, you need to apologize.
If the girl is wrong, but she is the one who was offended (yes, women can do it), you shouldn’t point it out. Point out your emotions that you experienced at the time of the quarrel through her fault. For example: “You said this, it made me very hurt and hurt, it made me flare up.”
Yes, you were right and she was wrong. But choose what you want: to stay with your right but ex, or to be her boyfriend again. This approach does not mean “deflection.” You have indicated that you are uncomfortable with your beloved’s words, and she will draw conclusions.
Unpleasant situation. Immediately recognize manipulation is difficult, but if quarrels with ignoring are repeated, it is already a “symptom.” A sign of manipulation will also be a prolonged silence after your messages with apologies, explanations, questions that have been read or listened to. And it is all the more manipulative if you have not done or said anything wrong.
If you realize you are being manipulated, consider: maybe the ex isn’t such a bad status, in this case? Why maintain a relationship with a girl whose favorite technique is manipulation? The bottom line is that she does not feel warm feelings for you, she does not appreciate the relationship to herself, she is just playing, satisfying her vanity or trying to make a whipper-snapper out of you, which she will laugh at later. It is better to cut off such a relationship and do not cripple your self-esteem.
Breaking up .
If a girl ignores after a breakup, which was the fault of the man or he was the initiator, this can also mean the end of the relationship – if the words of the breakup were spoken clearly and unambiguously. Get her back after this is difficult – there is a wounded pride, and resentment, and your exact status: ex. And exes are not worthy of attention. The page is turned. And the more you try to get your loved one back, the stronger her rejection.
How to get out of ignore correctly
Now – about what to do to get out of ignore without losing your dignity. Important points are:
- type of communication;
- the theme of communication;
- the style of communication.
Type of communication
If your ex has a habit of hanging up on you when you’re on the phone, your best bet is a text message or a meeting. Beloved ignores messages – call or meet her near her home, work, place of study, and so on. Worried that a personal meeting will be stormy and in high tones, send a text message. Voice messages should be sent only if they are perceived normally. And you want to give the message the necessary emotional coloring.
A topic for communication
If the girl ignores after a breakup on your initiative, tell the truth: was wrong, I want to return everything. You do not need to show remorse of a sinner, but sincerity is important. Time has passed, you realized a mistake – it happens.
If the parting happened on her initiative, you need to emphasize the pleasant experiences together, tying them to the current moment. For example, let her know that a new season of your favorite TV series came out. Another option is to learn about your ex’s problem and offer to help her.
The topic can also be a discussion of the breakup, if there is uncertainty, understatement.
This is an important point. What you do or say matters, but what matters most is how you behave:
- Keep a comfortable distance when meeting in person;
- Communicate calmly, in a friendly manner, without tension;
- Do not look guilty, even if the breakup was your fault;
- ask for forgiveness with dignity – you admit guilt, regret what happened, but do not humiliate yourself;
- Regardless of the outcome, the exit from the conversation should be peaceful, friendly.
The same applies to your message or phone call.
Reactive Manipulation: Causes of Short-Term Effect
If you ignore a girl who has dumped and then decide to resume communication, this can have a definite result. Manipulation works both ways. But not for long. The reason is the five emotional stages:
- Curiosity – the ex needs to be reminded from time to time to track your reaction;
- interest – the ex wants to understand the reason for your behavioral change;
- Acceptance – there is an understanding and reassessment of the situation, your own behavior;
If you have the strength to ignore your ex-girlfriend until her repentance – you will be able to return the relationship. But you can “snap out of it. But more often a woman reaches the stage of anger and stops attempts at dialogue.
If you dumped the girl and ignore her, manipulation will only work in one case: the girl has big problems with self-esteem, anxiety and dependent relationships.
How not to go overboard
If the goal of ignoring is to get the relationship back, you’ve already gone overboard. Because ignoring is painful. And bringing someone back with a “whip” is a flawed tactic. If you just want your ex to realize her mistake, stop ignoring her at her remorse stage.
When ignoring doesn’t work
The ignoring method won’t work if:
- the ex-partner is unwilling to resume the relationship;
- the girl has high self-esteem, she is not in a dependent position;
- After a quarrel or a breakup a long time has passed.
To apply ignoring or not – everyone decides for himself. But often such manipulation is the behavior of a person in a weak position. The tactic will help bring the relationship back, but not for long, until another quarrel or discontent.
In the end, the one being ignored experiences anger, aggression, and resentment. And the one who is manipulated feels more and more dependent on the partner. Feelings are transformed, the partner is seen not as a person, but as a thing needed to fulfill a need.
If you are ignored in order to return interest or to push their position, such a relationship can not be called healthy. But what to do about it – decide for yourself.
How to get a girl back after a breakup if she does not want a relationship and communicate
No matter how strong and brutal a man may be, even he has a weakness – the girl he loves. Only the memories of the one for whom there were real feelings, do not come out of his head after the breakup and cause pain. This raises the question of how to get a girl back after a breakup, if she does not want a relationship.
Not everyone is ready to put up with the departure of a loved one
Is it possible to return the girl after the breakup
It is impossible to say in advance what the chances of success are here. Much depends on the reasons for the breakup of the relationship. Even if the woman you love is now dating someone else, it does not mean that there is no chance to make her want to return. Nevertheless, you need to be prepared for the fact that no action will not help to revive former feelings. However, if a man does not make the slightest attempt to restore the relationship, because he is simply afraid to waste his time and energy, it is unlikely that he is worthy of the love of his chosen one.
Additional information. According to statistics, about half of all couples get back together after a relationship breakup.
Is it worth it to bring a woman back if she left?
It is one thing when a girl has decided to break up a relationship because she was not happy with something in it. Even if she at this point in the rush to get a new boyfriend, it is only to raise her self-esteem, to feel desirable. Chances are, her feelings are still alive, and return her faith in the viability of the old union is quite real.
It is quite different if a woman fell in love with another man completely sincerely, long thought out the decision to go to him and, finally, made her choice. In this case, there is little chance of her return. The only thing that remains is to give her freedom, to give her time and the opportunity to understand on her own that she may have made a mistake.
What to do if she does not want to communicate
In the case where the relationship has come to a standstill to the point that the girl refuses to see each other, talk on the phone, does not respond to messages and blocks in social networks, the best behavioral option would be to temporarily stop trying to resume communication. Give yourself and her a chance to cool down. The forced break in the relationship should be used to analyze your behavior and develop a new strategy for it.
The next step may be to write a letter from a new account in which you need to admit your mistakes and apologize for the intrusive behavior, assure the sincerity of your feelings and wish you a happy life. Reacting to a woman’s departure with restraint and nobility, a man demonstrates maturity and strength of character, thus already laying the foundation for restoring the relationship.
When writing a letter, there is an opportunity to weigh and think about every word, so it is a good way to get through to the girl
Unknowingly, her friends can be of great help in the process of returning the feelings of the girl you love. Therefore it is important to present yourself to mutual friends with the best side, to demonstrate a positive change in character, to speak about your loved one with warmth and gratitude, but without excessive longing in his voice. Beloved will certainly be informed about the changes that happened, which can make her remove the defenses and even think about resuming the relationship.
When to return feelings
The question of whether you can get your ex-girlfriend’s feelings back is a closed one. In most cases, the situation is not as hopeless as it seems. The main thing is to have patience and act wisely.
Often a man is trying to win back the location of the former girlfriend is not because of emotional attachment to her, but because of bruised ego or a pronounced sense of possessiveness.
If the basis of a desire to resume the relationship are psychological complexes, it would be much more reasonable to work on their elimination, rather than wasting energy on pointless manipulation of feelings of another person. After all, in case of failure, the self-esteem of the “alpha male” will suffer even more.
It’s also not worth trying to reanimate a relationship if you’re just too lazy to start building a relationship from scratch with a new person. The idea that everything with your ex will be the same as before, so it’s easier, is also self-deception. It will take a lot of work on yourself to overcome the crisis in the relationship. If the partner does not see that the situation is really changing, may take the final attitude of breaking up.
So before you try to return your ex, it is worth to understand your motives, to think whether you have enough willpower and patience. Only a sincere love for the girl can serve as the source of energy that will support on the way to the goal.
How to understand that the girl wants to return
Not all women have enough courage to openly declare their desire to try to resume the relationship. So men usually have to independently determine the moment when they have a second chance.
When a girl becomes the initiator of communication, it is a clear sign that she has not put an end to the relationship.
After the breakup you can understand that the girl wants to return, you can tell by the following changes in her behavior:
- The desire to communicate, and full communication. We are not talking about unpaid bills, things forgotten on the move, or a couple of emails a month out of politeness. If the ex constantly calls, writes, initiates meetings, it’s a clear signal to rapprochement.
- Expressing a wish to remain friends, except when it is pinched out of the lover. If the girl herself offered to maintain the friendship, it is a sign that she is not ready to imagine her life without her ex-boyfriend. So the chances of restoring the relationship in such a situation are very high. Trying to honestly play the role of “just a friend” would be a big mistake. But this is a great opportunity to have a heart-to-heart talk with the girl, find out your mistakes and understand how things can be fixed.
- Flirting while ignoring other men is the most obvious sign that the girl’s feelings have not died down and she does not mind resuming the broken relationship.
Is it worth to put an end to the relationship
If the girl categorically does not go closer during 4-5 months of active attempts to resume communication, it is worth wondering whether this will ever happen. In all likelihood, she made a firm decision not to go back to the past, a much more reasonable course of action would be to try to also unglue her and forget.
Advice from psychologists
When a man asks the psychologist, “How to get a girl back if she no longer wants a relationship with me?”, the answer is one: to become someone else for her, someone with whom she would like to date.
First of all, you need to rebuild psychologically. Often men after a breakup continue to think for a long time that they still have some rights to an ex-girlfriend, that the memories of happy moments in the past should be a motivation for her to return.
In terms of practical psychology, the past has no value, and you need to start communication again, from scratch, again to conquer and seduce your beloved, to build relationships on a new basis.
To convince her to come back, you need to make her fall in love with you all over again.
So it would be nice to work on your image: lose weight, if there is any, pump up in the gym, diversify your leisure time, to develop mentally and spiritually: in general, to become a man with whom any woman would be interesting to spend time.
Girls like to look at the pages of exes in social networks, to follow the changes in their lives. Therefore, you can let them know about the changes in behavior and thinking through photos and statuses.
Pay attention! In no case should you try to cause jealousy in your beloved, posting pictures with other girls. This can hurt her feelings and lead her to believe that she did the right thing by breaking off the relationship.
Sitting online 24 hours a day and waiting for her to write and like the post is not worth it. It is better to really take your mind off the breakup for a while, to immerse yourself in your studies, work, socializing with friends, learn to enjoy life, even when your loved one is not around. Then the magic will happen: the girl herself will want to resume communication.
Translate the relationship into the romantic vein should not be in a hurry, gradually. It is necessary to give the girl time to be convinced of the changes that have occurred and to fall in love all over again. Only this approach guarantees that the restored relationship will last a long time.