Rules of bed etiquette: How to behave so that you are not dumped immediately after the first night
In order not to “go to the reserve early” and not to remain only a pleasant (or not) memories for the man that you really like, you must follow some unspoken rules. And it is not a question of mannerisms (although it is certainly important, too). Passion.ru tells what rules of sex etiquette is better not to break, if you do not want that the first night with a new acquaintance did not become the last.
“So how do you know what you can or can’t do if sex etiquette isn’t taught anywhere?” – might ask those who, for whatever reason, have novels ending barely beginning or expectations of unearthly pleasure turning into torture, or a pointless process. How not to become a predictable boring person, intimacy with whom promises nothing good? Or, on the contrary, too intrusive lady, from which you want to escape almost immediately after meeting?
Safety comes first.
No matter how much you want to tear off the clothes of your partner and indulge in passion right here and now, first make sure that everything will be safe and comfortable. Experts remind that unprotected sex can damage your health, so do not neglect the basic rules – before the date be sure to stock up on contraception (do not forget that birth control can protect only from unwanted pregnancy, but not from sexually transmitted diseases, so have in your purse a few condoms necessarily). Some ladies naively believe that the partner will take care of this, but according to men themselves, they are much more pleasant to feel their chosen one, and not “latex”, so they will refuse to use rubber products under any pretext. Do not fall for these tricks, because in the end you yourself will have to destroy the negative consequences. Sexual safety – the concern of both participants in the process and an opportunity to emphasize once again how responsible you are in the matter.
The ability to get out of any situation (including romantic) with dignity and time to extinguish the impending conflict – is worth a lot. This is another rule of sexual etiquette, which must be followed if you want to keep the relationship with your partner. Try to treat with humor some awkward moments during intimacy or do not focus on them. In addition, do not dare to interrogate or find out the naughty details of the personal life of your chosen one. Wanted – he will tell, and do not consider it necessary, then do not take offense or scandal. Sex – it’s fun, and once again an opportunity to find out who is right and who is wrong.
Better moderation than unnecessary questions
To prevent your romantic date from turning into a misunderstanding, try not to show off all your skills right away (even if you really have something to show off). Do not be like actors from adult films, because what looks tempting on the screen, in real life can harm you or your reputation. After all, the more you play the “experienced lady”, the more questions your chosen one will have. According to the men themselves, they immediately begin to scroll through the head of juicy scenes, try to figure out how good they are in bed, and at the same time – how many gentlemen you have, since you are so good at coping with the most difficult positions. And even if they don’t ask you directly, they will still torment themselves with questions about the number of their predecessors. And here the excuse that you just watched thematic movies or attended educational training will not help – your partner may decide that you lead him by the nose and even better than trying to outdo you, it is better to find someone who is closer to them by experience and temperament, to study together Kama Sutra and improve particularly tempting options.
No mention of exes.
Just remember that discussing your past affairs in bed is taboo. Period. Do not dwell on the past, even if “Kolya did it a little better, and here Peter could even spend hours giving me pleasure. Stop comparing your partner with his predecessors, because you can inadvertently hurt people and spoil the impression of himself. And who then will want to continue the relationship, if one of the partners fixated on his past and can not cross out the former. According to statistics, usually ladies sin by it, seeing nothing wrong with motivating their loved one to perform feats in bed, because “Seryozha kissed me so that the ground was swimming out from under me, and Igor knew all the erogenous points on my body and skillfully used it. Alas, but this you do not motivate the gentleman, but on the contrary, make him run away, not even to show off all their skills and talents. As men admit, for them it’s like “dragging someone else into bed. Why all these “ecstasy” if there is you, he and the passion that is difficult to curb.
Play, but do not play games.
Not superfluous would be to remind you that you should not imitate the actors in adult films and try to repeat everything you have ever seen on the screen. Remember that men can easily detect falsity and the desire to seem better than you are. Why? You are already beautiful and you are already in the arms of the beau you like. Just be yourself and enjoy the moment, because there is nothing more sexy than a sincere desire to please your partner. Believe me that it turns on a lot more than trying to surprise or impress your favorite favorite talent.
Sensitivity and tactfulness
Try to smooth over sharp angles and translate some negative moments into jokes. Immediately discuss the boundaries that in no case can be violated (and at the same time come up with the so-called “stop word” that will stop the process at the first request). Act gently and tactfully, guide and encourage your partner and then your chosen one will be looking for a meeting with you again and again.
The first intimacy with a man: to make everything go perfectly
Excitement, excitement, and awe are what begin the first intimacy with a man. Sex is meant to bring pleasure, and sex with a new partner is a series of previously unexplored sensations. Both man and woman, as in the very first time, expect a lot from it.
But sometimes the inflated expectations lead to mistakes, the consequence of which – disappointment in sexual skills partner, especially if sex took place after a long absence of a regular lover. So how to prepare for the first intimacy with a man so that both partners enjoyed it?
The development of a relationship before the first intimacy with a new man
Everyone knows that you can not get intimate on the first date if you want to build a long and strong union, but the question arises: on what date you can? It’s time to find out.
There are stages through which every relationship develops.
First comes the moment when people see each other for the first time. There is a slight flirtation on the part of the girl, because it is important for her that the man does not rely on her excessive availability, and then the future couple exchanges phone numbers and agrees on a first date. However, this is still only a meeting, which can be called the first stage of the relationship.
The second stage is characterized by the candy and bouquet period. During this time, a woman and a man look at each other, learn new things about the other person, analyze whether they can be together.
A woman may successfully achieve the interest of a man when he will casually flirt with him, having fun, and it is possible, provided that she stays in a feminine state. Such positive energy will be transmitted to the man, and the date will be a success.
In the second stage, several dates take place. It does not necessarily have to fit into a small time frame and may last for months, in some cases more than a year. The stage ends with the onset of the first intimacy. Then what kind of date is suitable for intimacy?
One thing is certain – there’s no need to rush, because being in anticipation of pleasure is sometimes more pleasant than reaching the final goal. You should not allow the first intimacy, as soon as the flirtation has turned into a still fragile relationship. It is not enough just a physiological desire for intimacy, it is important to understand what a person is, what his life goals are, and to establish a respectful and trusting relationship between both parties to each other. Once these conditions are met, sex will be an integral process in the evolution of the relationship.
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So how does respect manifest itself? Through conscious acceptance of what your loved one needs. Respect can be accompanied by gratitude, sincere compliments. If a person respects a loved one, he allows him to speak out, feels sympathy, takes his opinion into account, shows accuracy in his words and in his actions.
Respect for oneself generates the same attitude toward others. A person has achieved this when he stands out with a stable self-esteem, established according to conquered goals, not according to someone else’s opinion or comparison with others. The self-respecting person knows clearly what needs to be done and works out a plan, accompanying the path to success with a responsible attitude toward his actions and words, and interacts openly and kindly with others. Such a personality is not left without attention and respect from others.
Therefore, only if there is respect for each other in the couple, you should take the relationship to a new stage, which can be called the “development of relationships,” and then the risks of the first intimacy with a man are already reduced. So, the second stage is accompanied by the establishment of personal boundaries, getting to know each other and analysis, and the third is characterized by spiritual closeness and attraction. Relationships strengthen if the couple have the same spiritual values, views even on everyday issues.
So, when there is a desire to build a strong and long-lasting relationship, you need to focus on the first intimacy in the second stage, if on the part of the man comes respect and acceptance.
9 rules of the first intimacy with a man
For the first intimacy to be successful, you need to choose the right time when the partners are ready to enjoy intimacy. Most likely, the girl will not be satisfied and will not give herself completely to the process if her consent is based on the fear of losing a man who persistently inclines her to sex. So you need to rely on your feelings and get down to business with confidence and willingness.
Confusions meet with a smile
From the first time everything can not go smoothly: awkward movements and sounds can accompany the process, but you should not think that the first intimacy with a man did not work out. It is better to translate the situation into a harmless joke or smile, and then continue to enjoy each other. After all, it is embarrassment and closeness that reduces the quality of intimacy, not awkward situations.
No to experimentation
To successfully perform intimacy under unusual circumstances, for example, in bright lights, in extreme places, using peculiar attributes, you need to make the relationship open and trusting. Some girls agree to the experiments only so that the man did not suspect incompetence.
Of course, both partners are ashamed of the imperfections of their bodies: the girl is worried about the fact that her parameters do not meet the standards, the man is complexed because of their shortcomings, and both try to impress each other. In this regard, bright lights can play a cruel joke and make the woman feel uncomfortable, make her behave unnaturally, and therefore there is a risk of not getting into intimacy for the second time. However, diversity and experimentation will naturally appear in the couple when the relationship develops gradually.
Don’t be silent
Experienced couples say that the emotions experienced during intimacy do not stay as firmly in memory as the characteristic phrases or words that connote a pleasant sensation.
Intentionally think out eulogies or talk about abstract topics is not necessary, because you remember the simple pleasant words. Let the intimacy will decorate casual phrases such as “how I love to kiss your lips” or “what strong hands.
Do not be shy to prompt.
In some ways it would be nice if partners know at once the erogenous zones of each other. Then the relevance of the guessing game during the first intimacy will disappear, and all are guaranteed to experience pleasure. But life has decided differently, so you need to voice what actions are pleasurable to you, to show your body map, to mark if your partner is doing everything right, and to make his desires come true, too.
Not all at once
Of course, you want to show your skill, but at the first intimacy it is better to just love each other. The partner, when he sees the desire to apply complex poses or other subtleties that show skill, may not be surprised by this in a positive sense, but suspect that the woman has learned from practice. There is a risk of exhaustion, and then there will be no energy left for the main thing – to get pleasure and give it to the partner.
During the first intimacy with a man, you can raise his self-esteem with sounds, but overzealousness in this matter will harm intimacy in the future, because the partner will regard the emotion as encouragement of his actions and will repeat them again. A good option would be to tell the man how best to deliver pleasure.
Slowly and gently
Sometimes one of the enemies of arousal is fast sex and lack of foreplay. Of course, there is a chance to have an orgasm, but you may not notice the process of the first intimacy with a man, because there was not much attention and tenderness.
Many people worry about the imperfections of their body, such as not enough elastic breasts, cellulite and others. It is not a fact that a girl whose body, according to men, is perfect, thinks the same.
But it is important to remember that a man admires all the data of his woman, when he gets close to her intimately in an excited state. He will remember pleasant emotions, not visual imperfections.
Despite the fact that passion eclipses the mind and want to take the extreme, you need to make sex protected. You have to use contraception, especially if you’re not sure about your partner’s sexual health. Wasted time, money and nerves are not worth the mind-blowing first intimacy with a man.
But the most important thing – the naturalness and ease, which will lead to pleasure. Especially if the partner is not suitable for a long relationship, you can pump up your skills without trying to make a perfect impression.
Six mistakes that can ruin the first intimacy with a man
Mistake 1. Shifting responsibility to a man.
Sometimes girls have such a strong fear of making a mistake that during the first intercourse they take the non-starter and shift responsibility to their partner. Of course, after that a man probably would not want to get back in touch with the unwilling to participate in the enjoyment of the person. So having sex the way you want is the best thing you can do.
Mistake 2. Trying to surprise your man.
Do not overdo it with a desire to seem omnipotent, because the action of the principle “all and at once” push away a man. Again, the stereotype about the looseness and prowess of women makes some men still make the wrong conclusions.
Mistake 3. Emotionlessness.
Many girls are very nervous before the first intimacy and hide their emotions so deeply that they forget to express both joy and excitement, for example, and others from the experience fall into a stupor. Hide positive emotions is a mortal sin in intimate relationships. A man believes that his partner does not like his actions or sex in general, and therefore it is better to consciously enter into intimacy and to trust your partner, so there is no desire to close, because a man wants reciprocity and a feeling of joy from the fact that the woman is satisfied.
Mistake 4. Tolerance.
As mentioned earlier, the first sex is rarely without perfection. However, it is categorically impossible to tolerate pain, because this can cause deterioration of intimacy in the future, and sometimes medical problems. In addition, trust in the couple is undermined if a man sees a grimace of pain on a woman’s face, and she does not voice her feelings.
Mistake 5. Comparing yourself to your ex.
Comparing the actions and qualities of your partner with the behavior of your previous partner is not allowed in a relationship in principle. During the first sex, such a mistake is very common and will certainly lead a man to doubt. He will wonder why then the woman enters into a relationship with him if he is so bad, or why she recalls her previous partner, because in the current intimacy the problems are not voiced?
Mistake 6. Showing frustration.
This paragraph contains the answer to the question: how to behave after the first intimacy with a man? Of course, sometimes you have to wait several months to experience orgasm in intimacy with a new man, because you need time to explore each other. The first sex will not be perfect, and drowning in illusions is not necessary, but also to show a man disappointment is not the best option.
Firstly, this can lower his self-esteem, and secondly, there is a chance that her partner will view the intimacy as a failure and will not want to get involved anymore. Reasonable will be after intercourse in a relaxed atmosphere to discuss the issue with the man so that the sex is of high quality. It’s worth indulging your partner during the first three acts and not bogging him down with criticism.