How do you know if your wife is cheating on the obvious signs?
Linguist-translator by training. I have been working in the field of advertising journalism for over 9 years.
The expert – Victoria Fomina.
Doctor highest category sexologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples resolve problems in sexuality.
The number of women committing adultery is growing every year. Thus, psychoanalyst Esther Perel, author of “The State of the Union: rethinking infidelity,” states that this number has increased by 40% since 1990.
Today’s women enjoy the same freedom as men, so it makes sense that they cheat more often. But unlike men, women are better at leading double lives. They are often so skilled that it is impossible to tell the difference between an honest wife and an adulteress.
But if women are great at covering their tracks, it does not mean that it is impossible to catch them.
The main signs of adultery in a woman
- She calls her husband by another name.
This is the most obvious sign of treason – the so-called Freudian slip. If the wife from time to time slips a different name, then there is a high probability that she committed adultery. True, women rarely make such missteps.
- She doesn’t want her husband to do her laundry.
No wife will tell her husband not to do her laundry unless she has an ulterior motive. Usually this strange demand is due to infidelity, as there may be suspicious receipts or the smell of another man’s cologne in the pockets of her clothes.
- She no longer posts pictures of her husband
Women are big fans of bragging about family photos on social media. And if the wife suddenly stopped posting fresh photos of her husband, it should give you pause for thought.
An even truer sign of infidelity is the sudden purging of social media of those photos of her husband that have already been posted. It’s as if the wife is trying to erase all evidence of her marital relationship. Sex and relationship expert Bethany Riccardi says it helps a woman look more available and attractive.
- Her phone is constantly on silent mode
It’s not the most reliable sign of cheating, but it’s still quite often associated with it. If the wife is communicating with her lover on the phone, she will most likely mute it so that there are no unnecessary questions from her husband about the calls and text messages coming in.
- She began to treat her husband as a friend rather than a lover
Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and dating coach, warns that if interactions with your husband are becoming less flirtatious, it’s a red flag. If a wife has stopped calling her husband affectionate nicknames, it could mean that she is now calling those nicknames to someone else.
- She has become delayed at work too often
“Got held up at work” is the traditional excuse for all cheaters and adulterers. Nowadays, when everyone’s working day has become almost irregular, it is especially convenient to use. Therefore, if a wife has suddenly started to spend extra hours in the office frequently, it is a cause for reflection. Modern women often tell their husbands that they work late to cover their extramarital affairs after hours.
- She suddenly changed all her passwords
Most modern couples willingly share personal account passwords with each other. This is seen as a kind of act of trust. So if a wife suddenly changes all her passwords, it means there is something in her accounts that she doesn’t want her husband to see.
- She is too intrusive to check where her husband is
Wives who cheat are always eager to know where their husbands are. This information is necessary in order to plan her outings with her lover. Otherwise, there is always the risk of running into her husband and ruining the secret life the woman has worked so hard to create.
- She suddenly got serious about fitness.
“If your wife is cheating, she may take up an intense workout routine, but not to lose weight for the summer,” says Dr. Durvasula. Of course, almost every woman strives to lose weight and be fit. Every once in a while they go on a diet and start working out hard, which is perfectly normal. But if grueling workouts start seemingly for no apparent reason, it is often because the woman wants to impress her lover rather than her husband.
From the first day of marriage, the husband asks his wife how her day was. She usually gives a fairly simple and concise answer-after all, recounting the work day is not the most interesting topic of conversation. But if her husband’s traditional question is followed by a meticulous listing of all the little things (what was for lunch, who she talked to at work, and all the new projects she’s been assigned), it looks suspicious.
- She accuses her husband of cheating.
Increased suspicion or even outright accusations of adultery are just an indication that the wife herself has committed infidelity. People who cheat on their loved ones project their guilt on them, often in the form of an accusation game. These accusations are often an indication of their own guilt, and the unfaithful wife will place the blame on her husband, forcing him to justify himself and defend himself. This is highly manipulative–unfaithful wives worry so much during such conversations that husbands get the impression that they are disgusted by even the thought of cheating.
- She has destroyed her relationship status.
If a husband clicks on his wife’s Facebook profile and notices that her relationship status has either changed or she is just nowhere to be found, it may be time to think that the relationship is far from solid. Many unfaithful wives use this tactic to signal to potential partners that they are open to a new relationship.
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She avoids her husband’s friends.
It’s no secret that many wives aren’t particularly fond of their husband’s friends. But any woman who hides such a terrible secret as betrayal tries to distance herself as much as possible from her spouse and his inner circle. This is an elementary self-protection. After all, the more she communicates with the group, the more she runs the risk of stumbling and accidentally revealing something about her affair.
If a husband suggests that his wife try a new restaurant for a date, but instead of being happy, she suddenly becomes nervous and flatly refuses, that’s a bad sign. According to Laura F. Dabney, M.D., a psychotherapist and marriage expert, it may be because she and her new lover frequent that very restaurant. In this case, the unfaithful wife doesn’t want to take any chances and doesn’t want the waiters to recognize her.
- She gives her husband gifts for no reason
Infidelity causes guilt. To make up for it, the unfaithful wife tries to do something nice for her husband. “It’s common knowledge that giving gifts is a way of buttering someone up when you feel guilty about something,” explains Charlotte Rivers , a relationship expert. So a lavish gift most likely means that your wife is guilty of something. And most likely she is guilty of adultery.
- She often says she’s unhappy.
Women who said they were “not too happy” in their marriages were nearly four times as likely to cheat compared to women who described themselves as “very happy” in their marriages, according to a survey conducted by the U.S. National Opinion Research Center. In addition, almost half of the women surveyed believed that an affair was acceptable if the marriage was unhappy.
- She began to pay increased attention to her appearance
Women, once married, often stop grooming with the care with which they did it before marriage. Therefore, the sudden return of attention to their appearance is perceived positively by their husbands. But unfortunately, there is much more cause for concern in this situation than there is cause for joy. A more likely scenario is that the wife has found someone else and wants to impress him.
It is especially troubling if the wife previously cared little about her appearance, but suddenly bought new clothes and expensive cosmetics – this points to an attempt to charm someone.
The cheater can maintain the appearance of a happy marriage, at least for a while. But it is difficult for her to give up thoughts of a lover, especially when her annoying husband is around.
The appearance of the wife’s dreamy expression when her husband talks about some everyday little things, often means that the wife is not listening to him at all and is completely absorbed in dreams of her lover.
- Spouses are spending more and more time apart.
According to a study conducted by David S. Atkins, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at the Travis Research Institute, one of the first signs of infidelity is that spouses spend enough time apart.
- She talks too much about cheating.
Endless talk about infidelity is often a sign that the wife herself has committed infidelity. Thoughts of infidelity are certainly on her mind all the time, and she keeps coming back to the subject without realizing it.
- She suddenly became terribly grumpy.
Even people who love each other very much sometimes quarrel. Usually these quarrels are over something really important. But when any of her husband’s actions have suddenly become furious and disgusted, it is most likely not PMS but another man who is to blame.
- She gets mysterious phone calls
Of course, these days, every phone owner receives an enormous amount of spam. But if the wife analyzes all these calls and secludes herself to answer them, it’s most likely cheating.
- She’s suddenly going to beauty salons.
The beach season is still very far away, and the wife suddenly brought to the perfect bikini zone. It is not a pleasant procedure, and women do not want to go through it unnecessarily. Obviously, the wife suddenly has a good reason, and most likely that reason is a lover.
Top 9 reliable ways to recognize a woman’s cheating: what to do when you suspect, how to find out with 100 percent accuracy
Perfect relationships are only in a fairy tale. But even there in a family crisis against the background of regular quarrels and resentments often arises such a phenomenon as adultery. It can be triggered by lack of sex or its inferiority, lack of interest in each other, decreased confidence or simply a generic predisposition of the female sex to weakness in the form of a campaign to the left.
But how to find out if his wife was cheating to within 100 percent, without breaking a sweat and thereby destroying the family idyll? In fact, all signs of adultery are purely indirect and may indicate a problem of another nature, not related to betrayal. Further on the blog bursin.ru consider working ways to recognize in his woman mean traitor, as well as give some useful tips that will help you once and for all get rid of painful thoughts and begin to live with calm nerves.
Contents:
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What to do when you suspect your wife of cheating
If against the background of a seemingly normal family environment in your head began to creep in thoughts that your wife is not faithful to you, remember that to bring her out in the open, if she really cheats on you, will be very difficult.
In any case, you have to find out the truth, but before you do follow a few simple rules:
- Calm down and try not to think about bad things, because nothing has yet been confirmed;
- Do not attack your wife with questioning – wild jealousy never does any good;
- Don’t try to follow her on her heels in the hope of tracking down her secret admirer. If you don’t trust your woman to that extent, it’s better to stop any relationship with her right away;
- And start paying attention to the little things. Usually the fact of treason lies on the surface, it only needs to be properly recognized, and how – we tell below.
In 80 percent of cases of suspicion of treason are just suspicions, so do not wind up, continue to live a quiet family life, following our further instructions, and perhaps then you will convince that your wife loves only you and no one else.
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Folk omens
When a married woman has a lover, she begins to change. At the same time, many men may absentmindedly not notice the obvious things, continuing to blindly believe in the happy fairy tale called “The Perfect Family”.
At the initial stage of the investigation will help folk omens. So our great-grandfathers could easily determine a woman’s infidelity by a simple sign – the wife began to mention another man’s name too often. She may compare it to you, praise him, or on the contrary scold his behavior, trying thus to abstract away from an internal unpleasant feeling of infidelity.
As one of the signs of folk wisdom can be called her long and pensive look. If your wife suddenly began to sit for a long time and look anxiously at one point, it may indicate that she is trying to find the right words to confess her sin. But take this omen as a basis for not, because brooding in itself is not a sign of adultery.
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The main signs of adultery in women
It is impossible to find out that a wife is cheating on her husband with 100% accuracy, based only on signs or circumstantial signs, but there is a chance to take your investigation to a new level. So if a number of the following signs will be present in the relationship between you and your wife, you can safely hire a private investigator and interrupt this relationship at the root:
- A sudden change in behavior. If suddenly your wife has become cheerful and joyful, even though your relationship has long been no cause for joy, it is worth ticking the box and moving on to the next item;
- Too frequent delays at work. No one cancelled office romances, and if she started coming home much later than usual, and at the same time she did not have a promotion, which is usually the reason for a backlog at work, put the second check mark;
- Mysterious Girlfriend. The appearance of a certain girlfriend that you have never seen in the eyes and did not know of its existence, can complement the list of your suspicions, if it is already full to the brim. If no other signs of adultery are not observed, it is possible that the girlfriend is real, and your fears are unfounded;
- Traces on the body. This is a very serious reason not only to think, but to have with his wife, and a serious conversation face to face. Try not to raise your voice and calmly find out what it is. Perhaps she was the victim of someone else’s rude attitude and afraid to tell you about it, and this is a whole other story;
- Endless underwear changes. In this case, new romantic collections can appear almost every week, despite the fact that your sex has long ceased to be what it was two, or three years ago. Agree, it’s silly to buy fancy lacy panties if they’re never meant for you. Think about it;
- An unexpected password change on your phone. And that’s against the backdrop of carrying a smart gadget with you all the time. If your wife won’t let herself leave her phone for even a second, even going to the bathroom or shower, it makes sense to start worrying;
- A change in appearance, regular makeup, diet, fitness, gym, and so on. In short, your wife has started taking care of herself, and sometimes the urge to get prettier reaches the point of absurdity. Carefully analyze your relationship before she started zealously grooming and after. If she pays you maximum attention and spends all her time with you, then she just decided to add some color to your relationship. If not, she probably has another man waiting for her somewhere;
- A very clear sign of cheating is to stop fighting and splitting brains on any occasion. Oddly enough, the more your wife is unhappy with you, the more it shows her love for you. By her behavior she is trying to identify all of your shortcomings and fix them, molding you into the very man she would like to see next to her. If that’s not the case, draw conclusions, check the box;
- Missed calls. This is actually a very troubling signal. Regular phone calls that your wife misses in your presence could mean that a lover is calling her. She may be referring to advertising agents or meticulous bank employees, even though in the past she hasn’t been shy about picking up the phone and quietly refusing an offer she’s not interested in.
If coupled with the above signs, your wife began to dislike physical contact with you, she began to look away more often, as well as complain about the lack of communication, with a high probability she has another. What to do next, we will tell a little later, but for now let’s talk about the types of feminine infidelity.
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Types of feminine infidelity
Yes, adultery is different, and the consequences of it can also be very ambiguous. In one case, a woman may have intercourse with a friend, an employee at a corporate party, or a casual acquaintance because of alcohol or sudden passion. In the other case she does it consciously, calculating her every move and carefully veiling any evidence of her crime.
As a rule, casual and unexpected relationships are solitary, and most often that is the end of it. After what happened, the woman feels the deepest sense of guilt and tries in every way to correct her mistake, which manifests itself in the form of excessive care, caressing, trying to deliver his beloved maximum pleasure.
In rare cases, the woman herself may admit everything to her husband, and then the outcome of the situation will depend only on him. Here any signs of infidelity, which we noted above, will not manifest themselves for the simple reason that there will be no main factor of the second type of infidelity – its regularity.
Yes, this type of infidelity is much more terrible and here all the signs of feminine infidelity can appear at once. Sometimes the wife may not hide their indecent behavior, but most often the husband will have to guess the reasons for the dramatic changes in his wife’s behavior.
If she cheated consciously, then it was preceded by a good reason from the husband, or she is very much “on the taste” and life is not averse to share the bed with a good lover. Of course, from such a woman need to run away from the fire, and if the methods described above help you in this, we’ll be glad that another man freed from the shackles of treacherous cheater and found true happiness with a truly faithful and loving wife.
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A simple test to conclude, “How do you know if your wife is cheating on you?”
Sometimes infidelity is difficult to prove by any known means, because some women are so good at hiding their feelings and emotions that by behavior alone it is impossible to reliably determine the fact of infidelity.
Then resort to the crude, but working methods, which in 90% of cases provide a guaranteed result. Now consider at a detailed example of one of these methods, which will allow with high accuracy to expose the truth about the despicable wife.
But first you need to practice your acting skills. Ask your friends to help you in this case, and try to play a few scenes where you will be with absolute seriousness to tell your friend the important news. The result should be very believable, so that when you talk to your wife, she did not suspect a trick.
Now let’s get into acting and begin our little test. Throughout the day, continue to let your wife know with all your appearance that she is in for a difficult conversation. Just like that, tell her that you’re going to have a serious talk tonight. When the hour “X” comes, sorrowfully tell her that you did not expect her to do such a mean thing, and try to express all your bitterness and resentment, without stopping to look her straight in the eye.
Practice shows that almost all unfaithful wives reveal their low secrets with this approach. In case the test showed nothing and your wife really didn’t understand anything, rejoice, because she’s not cheating on you. Kidding off silly joke, such as “My friends told me that you do not like diving, I did not expect this from you, because I had already included it in the program of our trip.
Either way, you’ll have a chance to start your life over, either with a new wife or with calm nerves. Good luck!