How to understand that her ex-husband wants to return, but hides his feelings: a breakdown of the characteristics of behavior and likely signs
Hello. According to statistics, about half of all marriages fall apart after a few years of life together. Women, according to psychologists, are experiencing severe mental anguish, but only in the first year or two after a breakup. Then they find the strength, appreciate the charms of freedom and start life anew. Men, on the contrary, the first year and a half are in euphoria from throwing off the heavy burden of marriage in the form of responsibilities, obligations, demands and limitations. They break away with all their might, allowing themselves what they could not do with his wife, consciously begin to violate boring rules, such as eating healthy food, not just pizza and dumplings, to drink beer on weekends, not a few times a day instead of tea, not throwing socks (but who cares), not playing computer games until morning (I know myself that little, time is still a child, but I just passed the level and go to work). And then the euphoria finally passes, and it is replaced by the realization that in the family nest under the warm wing of a caring wife was not so bad, but to admit his wrongdoing shameful and scary. Experts have called this period the “seventeenth month syndrome.” Today on the blog bursin.ru we deal with how to understand that an ex-husband wants to return, but hides his feelings.
- Читайте также: Если муж ушёл из семьи, через какое время он возвращается и вернется ли: причины, ошибки и реальная история одной любви >>>
A quick test
To begin with, I suggest you take a short test “Does your ex want you back”, in which you need to answer just 10 simple questions related to his behavior a few months after the divorce. If you answer yes to at least half of them, then you could use some more insight into the subject:
- Does he still have your things that he’s taking the time to return?
- Does he call for no reason, finding silly excuses to do so?
- Has he stayed the same, meaning he doesn’t consciously change his life by doing the same things you did together?
- Do you often meet him randomly in unexpected places?
- Does he take an interest in your life quietly from your mutual acquaintances?
- Does he give unexpected and gratuitous help to your close relatives, such as your mother (his mother-in-law) at the summer house?
- Does he get nervous when you meet him, behave in a fake cheerful way, or maybe get angry?
- Is there a pendulum effect in his behavior, i.e. is he polite and friendly one day, and rude the next and tries to end communication as soon as possible?
- Does he congratulate you on common holidays and events, which in the marriage consistently forgot?
- Has he suddenly become a perfect and attentive father to your children?
Again, if you answered yes to more than 5 questions, then you can assume that the ex-spouse is eager to return to the family. If most of your answers are negative, don’t bother reading this article until the end, because that’s exactly the kind of thing a man does when he really wants to get back the woman he foolishly lost. Otherwise, it is obvious that your husband is rushing into a new life, in which he does not see you with him.
- Читайте также: Почему бывший муж злится на бывшую жену, хотя сам ушёл, может, хочет вернуться >>>
Typical behavior of returnees
How, after all, do you know if an ex-spouse misses you at a distance and regrets the divorce?
You see, interest in the charms of bachelor life fades as quickly as it appeared. And at this point there are several options:
- A man painfully but quickly digests the mistake he made, decides to move on, and creates a new family in which he behaves like a mature family man, occasionally “howling at the moon” and regretting that he was foolish.
- He cannot start a new relationship, but his pride does not allow him to be ashamed of himself (or his place near the beloved woman is taken). So he lives like this, trying to get used to his new status of “lone wolf”.
- The ex, realizing that nothing can be returned, no matter how hard he tries, tries to become at least a friend in order to revive the warmth of the relationship, which he lacks in freedom, while still loving, but carefully concealing it.
- He moves into action, going all out, trying to recapture the same peak and pick up the pieces of the relationship.
- He gently probes the ground, trying to figure out if he has a chance at forgiveness.
The ones who come to their senses the fastest are those who have run away from the so-called family oppression (immature boys who lacked fresh air and the opportunity to party all over with friends in their marriage). Such husbands quickly come to realize that freedom is more of an agonizing loneliness than an endless holiday.
It takes a little longer for cheaters to realize their mistake. Most of the “not vagulated” men believe that there is no irreplaceable women, and each new lady of the heart is sure to be better than the previous one. In fact it is not like that. The romantic period passes, the initial passion fades. Remains the same life, but with unfamiliar women, to which you need a new way to adapt. And she to the same and know the price and do not want to dress in fairs, and a tasty meal prefers to order in a restaurant, and cleaning the house is incompatible with her manicure and soft skin. And now the image of demanding wife-mega from the memory somewhere evaporates. But more and more often there are fragments where she got up in the morning for an hour earlier to cook breakfast and take him to work, how she was up all night stroking his head and convincing him that the temperature of 37.2 – is not fatal, as stretching the last few thousand for two weeks before payday, because he had to buy a new laptop, because the old was not pulling the latest update favorite arcade …
- Читайте также: Почему бывший муж злится на бывшую жену: мнение психолога, как вернуть семью >>>
The most probable signs
Enough has been said about the psychology of men. It’s time to pull everything together and identify the most likely signs that her husband really wants to return to the family:
- Looking for an excuse to get in touch with you on the phone or to meet. Reasons can be anything: “give me the number of the plumber,” “left your favorite screwdriver,” “found your notebook with recipes in it,” “teach me how to make borscht…”
- Suddenly he started helping his former relatives: he helped his mother-in-law dig up the earth for her dacha beds, he offered his father-in-law to help him rebuild the engine of his swallow…
- Suddenly he became a loving, wildly bored and caring father: on weekdays he picks up children from school and takes them to classes, on weekends he organizes trips to the zoo, a game center, a cinema, gives presents and asks whether his offspring has everything from clothes…
- He constantly meets them in unexpected places: the supermarket, the clinic, the swimming pool, the gym, just on the street.
- When we meet, he reminds me of happy moments in the past: “And remember how I taught Maximka to swim, and you kept asking me to hold him tighter”, “and remember when Katya made me ponytails and put lipstick on while I slept”, “and remember when we went on a picnic in the mountains, and bees swooped on us and we had to leave in an emergency”…
- He gets excited when we meet, like a schoolboy who’s not prepared for class.
- He rushes from extreme to extreme, now he is too cheerful and friendly, then he begins to get angry.
- He tries to look content with life, but every now and then he looks sad.
- Comes to the meeting in one of your gifts.
- Looks for occasions to meet your girlfriends and gently hints to them that he misses you.
- Remember all the important dates, especially wedding anniversaries, though he had always forgotten them.
- By hook or by crook tries to cause jealousy.
- Demonstrably struggling with their shortcomings and bad habits, all those things that you do not like it – lost weight, took up sports, found a new job, quit smoking, shaved his beard …
- Adds to social networks of common photos, skidet your favorite music or movies.
- Scribes touching or angry messages on his drunken head, and calls at these moments, wanting to find out about the relationship.
- Instructs your children or parents to remind you of how good it used to be when you were a close-knit family.
- Keeps the promises he used to make just to get away from him.
As you have probably already realized, you can determine that the former spouse has some feelings left and really wants to return to the family, you can tell by his behavior, not typical of him in the past life together. If a year and a half or a year has passed since the divorce (some men mature faster), and the ex-spouse suddenly showed up and behaves strangely, he probably regrets the divorce. Don’t rush to accept him with open arms. First try to find out what motivates him. Not always love – the reason for return, often the truth is not so nice (kicked out the mistress, nowhere to live, lost his job). Then figure out for yourself if you want to step on the same rake again and if you are willing to forgive this man the suffering you had to endure while he enjoyed his freedom to the fullest. That’s it for me. Goodbye.
How do you know if a man will come back after a breakup?
Hello all. In this article, you will learn: how to figure out if a man will come back after a breakup? In addition, we’ll talk to you about the mistakes most women make in relationships, and you’ll get a resource to help you repair your relationship with the right man. Enjoy reading.
How do you know if a man will come back after a breakup? Signs .
First, you need to understand how your breakup happened. If the man himself took the initiative to break up with you, it shows that your value to him is low. And in that case, you need to take special measures to increase your importance (we’ll talk about this later).
But if the man does want to get back to you, there are several signs that can give it away.
1) He’ll text you.
If you’ve broken up with a man and he continues to write you in person or direct, it shows that he cares about you. He may ask completely silly questions (how are you? How’s your mood?), take an interest in your life and try to keep in touch with you in every way possible. His eagerness to communicate with you is a sign of his interest in re-establishing a relationship.
2)His reaction to your text message
If you text a man for example: “Hi)”, then in case he is interested, he may not just write you back “Hi”, but he will start asking questions, taking an interest in your life. If a man doesn’t want to communicate with you, your text will either be ignored or his reply will be dry and cold. For example, he may write a simple “Hello” without emoticon, will not ask any questions, and in general will not seek to maintain a conversation with you. If a man is not interested, you will immediately feel it.
Also recommend that you read: Instruction how to get your ex back (opens in a new tab)
3)Asking others about you.
If you and your ex have mutual acquaintances or friends, he may start asking your mutual acquaintances about you. He will ask about you, try to find out about your personal life, he will be interested in whether you have a new boyfriend, etc. So if you and your ex have mutual friends, you can ask them if he asked anything about you. If he has, that’s cool – he’s interested in you.
In fact, there are plenty of signs that your ex is interested in re-establishing a relationship with you. You need to understand one important principle:
Important! If you want to restore the relationship with your ex, you need to start from scratch in your communication with him! You don’t have to dig into your past, you don’t have to try to make amends or accuse him of anything. Your job is to start communicating with him as if he were a total stranger. But you need to start communicating in the right way so you don’t make the same mistakes as before.
But how do you start communicating with your ex the right way? So that he wanted to get back to you and thinking only about you.
For all of these questions, I expansively answer my author’s book, “How to get a man you love? – Here I detail the scheme under which you can return the man you want, to raise their importance in his eyes, and make him dream to be only with you. The book gives practical advice on how to make yourself more important, lists the most popular mistakes women make when they want to win a man back, and gives concrete, step-by-step steps that, once done, will bring him back.
And yes, the book already has many positive reviews. Girls get their loved ones back when they apply the techniques I give in my book. Link to the book (opens in a new tab)
Also recommendable to read: How to get a man I love? (Opens in a new tab)
Fatal mistakes women make in relationships that lead to breakups
So, now you will learn the most popular women’s mistakes in relationships that lead to breakups.
Mistake #1 – You need this relationship more
When you’re afraid of losing a man and his feelings and affection, you’re needy. You begin to need him more than he needs you – this leads to an imbalance in your value in the relationship. The man is no longer afraid of losing you, doesn’t see you as valuable and doesn’t hold on to your relationship.
When you need more – it is always felt, on an inner level the man understands that you are not going anywhere from him, no matter what he does – you will be at his feet. And understanding this fact makes the man lose interest in you.
Mistake #2 – Jealousy
Not all, but many women are jealous of their men, very often for no reason. When a woman is jealous, she also conveys low value. You can never show your jealousy, and even more so to arrange conflicts on the spot, such behavior you will only alienate your man.
When a girl is jealous of her man to every post, it shows her low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. The man feels this and his feelings begin to cool down, there is a coldness to his partner and the man wants to distance himself.
Also recommend reading: How to get rid of jealousy? (Opens in a new tab)
Mistake #3 – DZ on DNZ
DZ – These are actions of interest DNZ – These are actions of disinterest.
The mistake many women make is this: they become interested in a man the moment he broadcasts his disinterest.
For example, a man does not pick up the phone or ignores his girlfriend’s texts (shows his disinterest in her). In response to his DNZ, the girl begins to show even more initiative: she begins to call him even more, texts him, and imposes herself on him in every possible way. Thus, in response to his DNZ, the girl gives the man a DZ, and this is a fatal mistake.
Ignorance of basic principles has led to the fact that a man began to lose interest and his feelings for her began to cool, because she began to translate their behavior low value.
Remember In response to a DNZ you must always respond in the same way. If a man ignores you, ignore him back. If a man alienates you, alienate him in return. Always use the principle of reciprocity and then you won’t lose your value.
Mistake #4 – He is not afraid to lose you
When a man realizes that you’re not going anywhere from him, his interest in you begins to wane. It must be the opposite, the man must know and feel that if he starts to do all sorts of crap with you, you will leave him. You have to have your own boundaries that you can’t break. And when the man understands that you have no limits, he can do anything – he begins to get cocky, your value in the relationship drops, and he begins to cool down to you and distance himself.
Mistake #5 – You’ve been too invested.
Many women mistakenly believe that the more good they do for a man, the more he will appreciate them. But how wrong they are. People are built in such a way that we don’t appreciate those who are invested in us, but those in whom we are invested. These are immutable laws of human nature that work always, everywhere and on all men.
You don’t need to be as invested as you can in your man, trying to win his approval. On the contrary, you need to make your man invested in you.
And to do that, you need to know the system that will lead you step by step to the result, in the form of a returned man and your high value in the relationship. So once again I remind you of the book I’ve been working on for many months so you can build a quality relationship where you will be loved and your value will be very high.
Mistake #6 – You were afraid of losing it
If you’re afraid of losing something, you’re bound to lose it. When you have a fear that a man might leave you, it’s also a signal of insecurity. It is this fear of loss that may have contributed to the drop in value in the relationship and the subsequent breakup.
Never be afraid of losing a relationship, this is how the laws of nature work: if we need something very badly, no matter what (money, relationships, love), then the universe does everything to prevent us from getting it, or to get it with great difficulty. But when we are not really interested in something, it is easy and simple.
If you were afraid of losing your man, you were tense inside, and since your inner state is always transmitted, the man read your tense state and understood perfectly well that you were afraid of being without him. He was uncomfortable being with you, so he tried to distance himself more and more.
Also recommend that you read: Advice on how to get a loved man after the breakup? (Opens in a new tab)
Is it possible to get a man back after a breakup?
But not every girl will succeed. Because it’s not enough just to return, you need to rebuild a proper relationship. And return the man himself capable of only less than 1% of people, because the task is not easy, you need to know how, what and in what order to do to a man began to show interest again.
Imagine that your favorite man calls you right now, saying that he missed you and wants to meet you. And during the meeting he says he can’t live without you and wants everything back to the way it was before your conflicts and problems. And afterwards, you start a happy relationship where your importance is high, he’s afraid of losing you, gives gifts, wooing, and does everything for you because he loves you.
You think that’s impossible? Wrong, it’s a realistic and achievable goal. You just need to learn how to do it right. My book, which I have mentioned many times in this article, will help you with that. You don’t have to do any overpowering actions that require titanic efforts. All the actions are simple, but effective. This is what distinguishes working technology from non-working technology, the power of simplicity.
Such a product must be very expensive, because there is unique and author’s information which is not available anywhere else on the Internet. But I want to help as many people as possible who want simple human happiness, to be near the person they love. Therefore, I have made the price affordable for all.
The price of the book is only: 990 rubles (which is the cost of 3 cups of coffee at Starbucks).
Price and value – incomparable. The value I give in this material – hundreds of times more than 3 cups of coffee. So, do not procrastinate, do not wait by the weather, thinking that your personal life will normalize by itself – it happens only in fairy tales. Take your personal happiness in your own hands and finally start to act!
How to buy the book “How to get a man I love?
To purchase the e-book – click on “transfer”, confirm payment and you will automatically receive a link to the book with open access.
If you have any questions, send me an e-mail or message me on social networks.
Links to contact me:
I’m sure the article “how to figure out if a man will come back after a breakup?” was useful to you. We broke down with you the most popular female mistakes that lead to a breakup with a man. And I also told you about a tool (the book “How to Get the Man You Love Back”) that will help you restore your relationship with the right man. I am sure that you will take the gift of this opportunity and change your personal life, restore your relationship and be happy. I sincerely hope so)
And that’s it for me. If you liked this article, share it with your friends on social networks. If you still have any questions – write them in the comments. Bye.