Signs of male indifference: explain the essence

Why a man is cold and indifferent to a woman in a relationship

Indifference is a feeling that is expressed in a complete loss of interest in something. In a relationship, indifference is expressed in the absence of pronounced emotional contact with a partner. An indifferent person behaves coldly, aloof, without initiative, he shows no interest in his partner.

When indifference appeared

It is believed that the antonym of love, it is not hatred at all, but indifference. Relationships in which partners are indifferent to each other are almost impossible to restore. But it’s not as bad as it may seem. Before you put a cross on the relationship with the indifferent man, you need to understand the nature of his indifference.

First of all, you need to answer the question – when did indifference appear? When he began to treat you cold? As a rule, there are three possible answers:

  • The man was initially cold enough in the relationship;
  • The man is now and then cold, then emotionally involved in the relationship;
  • Man for a long time was emotionally involved, and then suddenly became indifferent.

Understanding the nature of indifference depends fundamentally on what the answer is.

The man was initially cold in the relationship

The first option is when a man is initially and always cold in a relationship, but he builds that relationship, supports it, and you can see that he needs it. This kind of behavior can be explained by a number of simple reasons.

Man alienated: what is the reason and how to behave?

The first, most common reason is a stereotypical attitude, which is imposed on him by society or parents. Be reserved, be serious, you’re an adult, do not behave like a “girl”. If a child is told so all his childhood, the man begins to feel that the manifestation of feelings is inadmissible for a real man. And now, as an adult, he just does not know how to do it.

To see if a man has this attitude, you just have to look at his father. How does he behave? Perhaps he is just as reserved and cold. In this case, indifference in the relationship has nothing to do with you and is not even a threat to the relationship. For a man, this behavior is considered normal.

The second reason for constant indifference may be… the absence of that indifference. It sounds paradoxical, but it is. You feel like he doesn’t show emotion, doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t care about you. But he seems to be doing all of these things. Why does this happen? Maybe you just show your love for each other in different ways.

Ways to show love

  • Verbal manifestation – confessions, compliments, conversations, letters;
  • Financial manifestation – it is not just gifts or financial support, many men stay late at work, not because they do not want to go home, but because they want to take care of their family through their material support;
  • Time – something we often forget about, although the time we spend with each other is also an expression of love;
  • help – when we help our partner in everything and thereby show that we care;
  • physical contact – sex, hugging, even holding hands.

Every man shows love in his own way. A man may not talk about love, but he is always ready to help you, spends a lot of time with you, supports you financially. In this case, just because he doesn’t declare his love and doesn’t compliment you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Analyze the ways in which your partner shows love.

The third reason for the initial and continued coldness men can be that you have different needs for intimacy, in contact. It depends on your temperament, internal attitudes and habits. Man enough to once a week to show his love, will seem cold and aloof in the eyes of a woman who used to the relationship that love must be manifested every day and several times. In this case, the man does not even realize that he “does not give” you love.

The man can be either cold, or emotionally involved.

The second option is a little more complicated. Typically, in this case, indifference acts as a way to manipulate. His coldness or detachment, a man can express his displeasure about something. This is like a form of childish protest: you are bad, I will not talk to you. Or emotional blackmail from the position of a strong adult: You don’t behave the way I want you to, so I stop loving you.

This is usually what mothers say: don’t eat your porridge, I won’t play with you. The goal is to make you feel guilty. When you decide that you have done something wrong, you start trying to redeem yourself, to placate the man, to make up.

Such coldness is usually superficial, feigned. The man only pretends to be indifferent, when in fact he is emotionally involved in the relationship.

In this case, do not categorically accuse the man that he is a “liar and manipulator. It is very possible that he does it unconsciously, this manipulation he was accustomed to since childhood. It worked then, so it will work now. But it is certainly not worth supporting such behavior, otherwise the situation will only worsen.

What to do in this situation? You need to take a man to a constructive conversation between two adults. With the help of active listening, without claims and accusations, and through “I-affirmations. I can see that you are upset about something. It upsets me, too. This situation depresses me. Let’s talk to you.

That way you can resolve the conflict. If you stop “feeding” his resentments, eventually he will get rid of the habit, because he will realize that this way of behavior does not bring the desired result.

The man abruptly became permanently indifferent

This situation is the most difficult. Initially, all was well, the period of falling in love was bright and emotional. But time passed, and his attitude seemed to fade. He became cold and indifferent to you, he is not interested in what is going on between you. Maybe he was absorbed by household problems, perhaps between you had too many conflicts, and he stopped wasting his energy to solve them. Maybe his feelings have just faded.

How to be in this situation

First, it is necessary in a calm and trusting environment, when you both have time, when you are not tired, sit down and talk about what is happening between you. Where is your relationship going? Why isn’t it progressing? Is there still a relationship between you, or is it just a habit? Perhaps there is some underlying, total problem in your relationship that is destroying it? What conclusion you come to will determine what to do next.

Secondly, if specific problems are resolved, but feelings have simply faded, you need to fall in love with each other all over again. In psychology, there are many ways to do this.

Thus, indifference in a relationship is a complex phenomenon that requires deep analysis. It does not always lead to a breakup. You need to understand the causes of indifference, and act on this basis. Then there is always a chance to return the old feelings.

How to understand that you do not care about the man: something that can not be ignored.

What else can hurt a woman’s heart as much as indifference on the part of a man? To turn a blind eye to it or just ignore it, it will not work.

This is especially true for those situations where a woman has tender feelings for a man, and he has long since fallen out of love with her.

Psychologists have named several features of male behavior that indicate that a young man no longer wants to be with you.

Female indifference to a man as a test

It is no secret that female logic, if it certainly exists, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of this or that act, or intention. The fact is that both men and women’s subconsciousness can play a cruel joke on them.

This can be explained in the following way – if we can manage our consciousness very confidently and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then with subconsciousness it will not work. It periodically reminds us of itself by the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.

This fact is directly related to the relationship with men. It happens that a woman feels a mutual attraction to a representative of the male sex, notices the mutual interest, but then there are a number of obstacles, expressed in doubts:

  • Whether he is reliable enough;
  • how committed he is;
  • whether he is courageous or cowardly;
  • whether he knows how to take responsibility.

It would seem that why do we need this psychological analysis, and what does it give, if the relationship does not promise to be long? The fact is that everyone is naturally programmed to make a couple.

To procreate, as paradoxical as it sounds, a woman needs a confident male who can make responsible decisions and take care of his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of tricks, in order to make sure that her choice is correct.

Signs of indifference in a woman. What are the signs to determine the behavior of a woman in love?

  1. The girl is constantly furtively watching the guy who causes her sympathy, and then turns away his eyes, meeting with his eyes. At the same time, she may be covered with paint, like a schoolgirl, and it gives her away with her head.
  2. Constantly friendly with the young man, laughs at his jokes, responds to requests, is willing to contact and tries to attract attention to themselves.
  3. She prefers talking to her friends to talking to the object of her affection, in a word, she behaves in a way that was not typical of her before.
  4. Communicating with a young man she cares about, the girl unconsciously shows physical signs – she fixes her hair with a gesture that men consider very sexual, gesticulates, showing her wrists, tries to violate personal space, trying to touch the guy’s hand or face. A young man with even a little understanding of psychology will understand that tactile contact means sympathy.
  5. If a woman has a sincere feeling for a man, when talking to him she constantly turns her head in his direction, unconsciously repeating his postures – “mirroring”.
  6. If you carefully observe a girl in love, you can easily notice that her pupils dilate when talking to a guy you like. This is due to the fact that a large amount of adrenaline enters the body.
  7. If a girl does not see a young man she is attracted to for a long time, she begins to show interest in him, ask her mutual friends about what he is doing at the moment. Pages in social networks are now also under the scrutiny of a person in love.
  8. Gifts without a reason are a reason to think about the nature of the relationship. Most likely, a girl wants to win the sympathy of a young man and show how important he is to her. In addition, if the gift is made by hand, this indicates that the man spent a lot of time on its production, hoping to do you a favor.

Women’s indifference to the man as the absence of feelings

Often, the meeting of opposite sexes does not contribute to the necessary spark, which should later develop into a flame of passion. There may be many reasons for this:

  • external unattractiveness;
  • Women’s fear of a new relationship;
  • disappointment in men;
  • And just – lack of interest.

It is possible to make attempts to win a woman in such cases, but you should not hope for a favorable outcome. In some cases this will just make the woman angry and disappoint her even more.

Perhaps a woman will allow you to condescend to a short period of courting, in order to amuse your self-esteem, but later this is unlikely to work out. As they say: “If there is a spark, you cannot hide it, but if there is no spark, you cannot invent it”. Sometimes, men go against the nature of feelings, win over a woman who has absolutely nothing. And end up with an unloving wife in marriage who will turn his family life into a nightmare.

He increasingly disappears from “sight.”

The man began to systematically “forget” about meetings, postpone dates because of frequent “colds”, almost stopped writing and calling because of the “rush at work”? Most likely, his interest was lost or even illusory. In such cases, women are trying in vain to reconnect and correct the circumstances. At this stage, on the contrary, it is better to go into alienation, and if after a pause in communication noticeable changes in the behavior of the elected one will not occur – to do everything possible to quickly forget him.

Why are men attracted to female indifference

Men as the creatures ingenuous, often do not distinguish between – in what cases a woman is playing, and when you really should not attempt to start a relationship. By nature, a real man is a male, whose subconscious purposefulness is one of the first places.

And it doesn’t matter what his goal is. As the saying goes: “I see the goal, I see no obstacles. This is one of a number of reasons why female indifference attracts men. In such cases, the fairer sex is just a goal for them, to which they must come sooner or later. And often, it does not matter what a woman feels in such cases. This type of man is not particularly interested in what she has in her heart: hidden affection, indifference or disgust.

Falling in love is another important reason why a man will reach out to a woman who ignores him. If these feelings are really high, the power of attraction in this case is doubled.

Man’s interest increases, he becomes more determined – “How is it, I’m in love, and she ignores me?!” Male curiosity in such cases knows no bounds, and can translate into the most unexpected actions. And all just so that the lady of the heart will descend from her throne and pay attention to him.

Indifference in a relationship

Man and woman are polarities, between which there is constant sparking, so indifference in the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman is essentially impossible. Yin and Yang, active and passive, explicit and hidden, logic and intuition, restraint and passion – there is always tension, an energy current between these opposite poles. It can be different in appearance – a man next to a woman can feel a surge of energy and strength, or vice versa, the relationship drains both.

It all depends on the goal. If a woman intends to use a man for physical and material pleasures – his potential will quickly run out without getting anything in return. If she seeks to fill her chosen one with care, attention and love – a man is unlikely to leave such a cozy space, of course, if he has not sunk completely, and he does not care about anything except the satisfaction of animal instincts.

Indifference in the psychology of relationships is common. Both women and men can be indifferent. Although, in truth, the stronger sex sins it more. Why? Man is by nature a player, a nature of the infatuated. Therefore, his interest should be constantly in the heated state. For men’s attention should always be a point of application – and this “point” is in a woman – something that awakens excitement in him and his desire to learn more about you!

The wedding or the eloping groom.

And so, at one point, the woman lifts the veil of her mystery and feigned indifference, and allows a glimpse into her heart to the stranger who has been hanging around her royal palace for a day now. And what happens?!

In the first case, the so-called prince comes to visit, sees what’s up, takes advantage of her hospitality, and comes to the conclusion – oh, why do I need it! He will carefully, hastily and inconspicuously leave the royal chambers, leaving his bride-to-be in perplexity and grief.

She will not understand at first whether it was a blowing in the wind or someone really came into her mansion. And only persistent advances and fiery speeches from the cavalier of the past will cause her sad smile on her face, and far into the subconscious thought will creep: “I knew it” …

The second option is more optimistic. However, here we should consider the restrained behavior of a woman who is going to let a “knight on a white horse. Restraint, accuracy and self-control can play into the hands of both the man and the woman in such cases.

Often people rush into a whirlpool of passion, not controlling the further flow of events and letting things drift on their own. This is where a lot of problems occur that do not lead the couple to anything good. And you just need to learn to control yourself and your emotions. And then, even after many years of life together, a woman is a mystery to the man, which he will not get tired of unraveling.

A few ways to test his feelings

Lovers can get confused by emotions, subtle love games, countless hints, ambiguity of dialogues. The psychology of man becomes more complicated, so it is difficult to distinguish the mask from sincerity. The main advice to all lovers is that actions are more valuable than graceful gestures, and self-love is above relationships.

In the initial phase of a relationship, a man who is not indifferent to a girl finds it difficult to control his feelings. The euphoria of love does not let you forget about your beloved even for a moment. There are obvious signs by which you can learn about the feelings of the chosen one:

  • He strives to communicate, to see each other. Such enthusiasm helps to realize the seriousness of the intentions of the man you like at the beginning of the relationship. Even the busiest guys in love find minutes for caressing words, calls, dates. If a partner has dry contact with a woman once a week – this is not acceptable for stable long-standing couples, nor for the beginning of a love affair. There is a romantic misconception about the withdrawn man, who is reserved and tough only with loved ones. But this type shows feelings not by talking, but by doing, that is, by helping, by caring. He is interested in everyday difficulties, problems and the girl’s well-being. You can be sure that you are not indifferent. If the chosen one confesses his love, but demonstrates coldness, deliberately confuses the girl, disappears for a long time – these are the characteristics of an abuser (psychological abuser). The interested guy shows his infatuation in one way or another.
  • He does not hide his chosen one from his friends, he behaves affectionately next to his companion. In the post-Soviet territory there is no tradition of introducing a woman to the friends of her beloved. Such a gesture can be bragging about a new gorgeous girlfriend. But the principled silencing of relationships, aloof behavior in public is unacceptable, even if the guy is a fan of the idea of happiness, which loves silence.
  • Getting to know your soulmate’s family. This is traditional for the Russian-speaking environment. The traditionalist guy already in the first months of a serious relationship will want to introduce his beloved to his family and be introduced to her relatives. Progressive young people are not affected by this point. But if his relationship with his loved ones is warm, then they will find out about his partner. It will happen by itself. For example, at a big family holiday, where you can’t go without a partner.
  • Interested in the girl’s thoughts about the children. Such conversations help to know a man’s true intentions. These topics are rarely raised with casual girlfriends. Do not take his interest as plans for the near future.
  • Not distracted by other beauties. A man who insists that males are polygamous should be reminded that it is a characteristic of the species, not gender. Depreciating the feelings of the chosen woman shows disrespect.
  • Listens carefully, clarifies, remembers the details of the conversation. Spiritual rapprochement requires sincere prolonged communication. Representatives of both sexes understand this. If you do not know how to understand that you are definitely not indifferent to the guy, then pay attention to his interest during conversations.
  • Not in a hurry to make love. Sometimes such a rush indicates not only passion, but also feelings, although in the “bed question” many men remain traditionalists. And yet, sexual desire is natural for a man in love. If the chosen one is passive for months and enjoys only talking, then for him it is a friendship without romantic attachment.

It happens that a man is attracted to a girl for a long time just out of sexual interest. The duration of the relationship is not indicative of affection. Sometimes a man collects sexual conquests. To determine whether a guy needs you as a person, you need to pay attention to:

  • his ability to communicate without erotic overtones and intimate interaction (including kissing, caressing): the transfer of any discussions, important conversations into the sexual track may indicate a non-serious, superficial attitude towards the partner;
  • his interest in spending time together: if sex is regular, but there is no joint entertainment, perhaps the connection holds only on the bed;
  • the number of his conversations about himself: sometimes passionate lovers can enthusiastically talk to his partner, though almost always about their own achievements, problems, worries, perhaps he just needs a listener, this type is prone to abuse, because he communicates for self-affirmation
  • desire to conduct a joint household: common large purchases and animals bind tightly, it is already a small family (albeit without a stamp, children).

To understand already on the first dates, whether the man is serious about the woman, you should pay attention to the following aspects:

  1. The desire of a young man to give gifts. It is not about the price, but about their availability, their relevance to a particular girl (according to her interests, needs). Gifts reflect the desire to please, attention to the inner world of the woman. Important nuance: if the guy stubbornly saves on girls (take them to budget institutions, counting every penny), then there is a risk that he does not want to spend on a passing fad.
  2. The guy is too direct, too relaxed. Such self-confidence is rarely shown in front of the object of sympathy, and even in the candy-boquetal period. Excited intonations and looks are natural at this stage.
  3. Complete absence of emotions, detachment. The partner may be charming, polite, and courteous, but completely indifferent, as if he were practicing his standard script. Here it is necessary to trust your intuition, to wait and to observe. Not a good sign if the evening ended with intimacy or hints of it. Such men disappear after the first refusal of sex.
  4. Features of communication. If the young man talked about himself all evening, perhaps it’s a matter of excitement. But when the situation does not change at the following meetings, most likely, the guy is selfish. Narcissistic men talk about the profession, successes, but not about family, childhood. “Family” topics can mean openness, a desire to bond.

True love excludes formalities, conventions, rules. Respect, sincerity, comfort and a strong attraction just feel. If there is a need to evaluate the relationship from the outside, you should consider:

  1. A man’s possessiveness (without extremes or discomfort for the girl) is a manifestation of love. He is definitely serious.
  2. After a while, the chosen one continues to enjoy the girl’s company (meets and sees off, writes messages, reluctantly says goodbye, leaving for work).
  3. Lovers are worried about the mood, the health of their soulmate. You should remember whether the companion has asked appropriate questions, whether he was interested in the answers. The partner does not have to be interested regularly, but indifference does not indicate love.
  4. Confession of love. If it was uttered during the first meetings, when there was no intimacy yet, then the situation is moot. Perhaps it is a method to seduce the girl. If the relationship took place, then these words indicate the seriousness of the beloved’s plans.
  5. It is possible to “test” the companion by acquaintance with his family. For the sake of a temporary girlfriend, this is not dared. This will help to understand that the guy is very serious.

After the first romantic period, when the masks are thrown off, indifference becomes brutal. To understand that a man definitely does not need you, it is enough to see the peculiarities of his behavior:

  • Pickiness (to the life style of the partner, appearance, hobbies): do not need to justify this rudeness straightforwardness;
  • Arrogance, skepticism: most conversations are held in this tone;
  • disinterested in the joint solution of problems, their denial;
  • secrecy: groundless distrust is incompatible with intimacy (a man may be silent about his place of work, lazy to tell about the events of the day)
  • Comparisons to his ideals of women, girlfriends, former lovers (flattery of the current partner at the expense of humiliating former girlfriends is also not the best signal);
  • Inability to forgive, excessive demanding (remember that lovers forgive much, and small imperfections and frivolous transgressions may not notice).

Indifference can be friendly and mild. There is respect, common interests, just without passion. This is a rare scenario that is characteristic of a long-established, tried-and-true friendship. Often these nuances are stipulated by the partners in advance and suit both.

It is necessary to consider the bias of their own perception and analyze the situation critically. Trust better not so much the words and small charming gestures beloved, as his actions. To make sure that the partner is not indifferent:

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