Should a man pursue a woman?

How men get women: the secrets of the male pickup

How a man makes a woman depends not only on the representative of the stronger half of humanity and his abilities, but also on his partner. After all, a wise guy will look for an individual approach to the object of his admiration. However, such attention does not always indicate serious intentions.

To avoid getting burned and to be able to choose correctly the one who is worthy of your sincere feelings, you need to know some of the behavioral features of modern seducers. It is about this today and talk in detail.

How men easily win women

There are men who are able to please or even fall in love with any woman. They do this easily and effortlessly. It seems as if they have a certain secret. And it is really so.

Almost all men of this type often use one characteristic feature. They are one hundred percent sure of it and do not doubt for a second that the woman will fall for the hook.

Let’s see how men get women. To begin with, they give a girl her special status. All their looks show how she is needed and important. They say that she is special, not stingy with compliments and gifts. Arrange fantastic dates, give flowers. The woman loses her head. And then suddenly there is a cooling-off period. No, the man does not disappear, as you might assume.

Only novices who have not yet mastered the art of seduction lose their minds for good. Man “professional” knows all the subtleties, he must be confident in his game. Therefore, the situation should look as natural as possible.

He creates a more detached relationship, pretends to be busy with work or other important matters. From feelings begins to reek a little cold, although the communication he keeps: continues to write messages and call.

Man no longer seems to hold on to the relationship, not afraid of separation. And most importantly – he stops demonstrating that she is the center of the universe for him, and without her he can not live even a second.

Now the man as if to give the woman the right to decide for herself what to do next. Makes her think about how she should behave in order to save the relationship.

The woman realizes that something is wrong. She begins to dig inside herself, looking for flaws and reasons for what she did wrong. If a girl has low self-esteem, she panics at the thought that a man can leave her. Only next to him she can feel like a princess. Will there be another guy who is just as wonderful?

Since the man already has a certain image of a fairy tale prince in her mind, it doesn’t matter at all how he will behave with her next. She has already remembered how he was during their first meetings, and she expects to see him that way.

She literally lives with the memories of their very first dates and even fantasizes about things that never happened. Then she was struck by his tenderness and devotion. She doesn’t want it to end. She may even think, at some point, that she fell in love with him at first sight and it’s forever. Which means she can’t destroy the relationship and will do anything to strengthen the bond.

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Should a man pursue a woman?

At one of the psychological forums there was a debate among the women there: should a man win over a woman, or is this a relic of the past, and a woman should be active with a man herself? “I chose my man and married him myself, and now he is mine, and you sit and wait for someone to ‘win’ you over,” boasted one of the ladies. “I was wooed by mine, and then it didn’t work out,” said another lady. “What kind of animal level is it to ‘win’ a female, or is it in the genes?, why are relationships seen as ‘winning,’ why can’t you just start a family,” these and similar comments poured in with attacks in response to someone’s lonely voice that it wouldn’t hurt for a man to fight for the woman of his choice. Now let’s look at the most realistic possibility of what is actually happening. From the first “lady’s” comment, we can see that the one she chose is the one she completely suppressed. And her “man” is either not inherently a man at all, but a male man who was not originally in need of a woman, but a soon-to-be “dominant mother”. Or, the two of them got together on something convenient, which then grew into a joint existence, but he mutually perceives her not as a desired and beloved woman, but as that “woman,” just as he is “my man” to her. If it suits both – why not?… There is so much to say on the second comment… But, unfortunately, there is very little information, and it is only from one woman, and it would be interesting to hear what the man himself would say… Many women are by nature very deceitful, and they believe their own lies, so to believe their stories is to fall into deception. To get a man is not difficult, but to keep him, to become interesting, necessary, necessary to him – this is a real relationship… Probably the one that this lady said, at first began to make some attempts at courtship, and after the first two or three she jumped into bed, until he changed his mind. But to other people from this lady’s mouth will sound like “he pursued me.” Another version is possible: he really achieved it for some time, but having achieved it he was disappointed: in pair aggregor relationships the return has to come from two people, not only from one person, when one loves, builds relationships, and allows himself to love, but only consumes… in the end a person who invests himself simply wears himself out, gets tired, exhausts himself… And feeling the emptiness he realizes he invested in something wrong… The result is either a life of habit with a loss of meaning, or the couple breaks up. There is a third possibility: the man initially sought her not as a female companion, but to satisfy the sporting interest to get her into bed, and the lady has twisted her imagination knows what, and you should be able to tell the difference. But this topic is not about “getting an object for a sporting interest,” it’s about relationships, so let’s keep going in the right direction.

Third comment… A man should really win the woman he chooses, pursue her… And that’s the right thing to do, but not the other way around, when women compete with each other, like heavyweight women, fighting for a man, using all their imagination and activity… It should be noted that with the development of numerous Internet dating sites it has become even easier to get into a relationship of any kind (and there is no need to even court them), where people have turned themselves into a market of live goods… “I Ivanna Ivanova (age, education, body parameters) want a family, plan to have at least two children, meet a man without financial problems”…, etc. “I am Ivan Ivanov (parameters) meet for the beginning for a pleasant pastime…”. Further users are collecting “likes”, then – appointments, casting … What happens? Women, in fact, do not care who to let into themselves, whom to embrace, from whom to give birth, you just need to create a family, you need to play in this family, because “want” or “it’s time,” or “I’m afraid to stay alone,” but only if the candidate is without financial problems and preferably without bad habits. Next, you want to quickly take him to her, and then brag to his girlfriends, “I met a great guy. There are many who agree to do less: ok, let’s start with “a good time”, and then we’ll see … And why do they agree? Because there are a lot of people who are just like them ….. Because, “What if he goes for someone who is more available? No, we have to agree to all his rules and grab him, the sooner the better. That’s why chicks literally fight for men…. In doing so, they will always justify both themselves and these so-called “relationships” … “Now is the time”, “would it be better for me to stay alone? “Such justifications will sound with bravado in their voices, without looking at the other side of the coin: sadness in their eyes, dissatisfaction with what they have received and the fragility of this illusory structure… The third comment touched on the issue of genome, but genome has nothing to do with it, but those very role-plays, which, for example, were very well described by E. Berne in his book “People in Love”. The role-playing, which, for example, was very well described by E. Berne in his book People Who Play Games and Games People Play, is very relevant… With one caveat: if a man is not interested in her as a companion, but only involved in his temporary role. For many (but not all) men, this role-playing of the conqueror works, and it feels good for the woman to be “conquered. But if a man has really chosen this particular woman, if his heart beats for her, then he achieves her not by playing, but for real… This factor is reinforced by the stereotype of the “expensive thing” and the energy aspect: what you invest in is what you start to appreciate. That is, the harder you have got something, the more you have invested in it (materially, energetically, and also mentally), the more you value this “thing”. By analogy, a person. In other words, the harder a man got a woman, the more he appreciates her, cherishes her, protects her, is afraid of losing her, because she has filled his entire inner space… If we translate the analogy to the world of things again: a man will have a different attitude toward a Mercedes he bought and the same six-pack he bought.

In one he invested his accumulated capital, the other (not the one he dreamed of) he took temporarily, that is, until better times, to serve him as a workhorse (to plow on it, to exploit, until it exhausts itself, or breaks down). Respectively, the first one will stand in heated garage, well-groomed and washed, the second – always under the window near the entrance, so as not to bother with it, to be comfortable… This is the most evident example of analogy. There is truth in all of this: a woman should not be available. Not because of supporting some silly role-playing. No. It’s because she should have self-respect. But chicks (it wouldn’t be right to call them women) jump into bed just like that. And agree to whatever relationship rules their men offer them. That’s the lot of cheap girls. Therefore, such relationships are not seen as conquests. Cheapskates are not conquered – they are simply taken, received, when necessary – consumed…. And the male stereotype (which was mentioned above) is: “If a woman has easily laid with me, she will just as easily lay with another. If she does all my whims (let’s say sexual ones) at my behest, then she’ll do it all with another…” Without being rude or descriptive, this is so. So, the process of “winning” a woman over, as long as it’s all sincere and based on some deep feelings, is very correct. But what is not right is that people get bogged down in their images and games. Play gives pleasure to some and pain to others… Unfortunately, all people play something in this life, trying on roles and masks, which sometimes tear off their faces and sometimes grow right into their skin. The task of a woman (if only she is a real woman, not a cheap one) is to inspire. So that a man would want to create for her, rolling mountains. That he wanted her, and it is her that he wants to take as a wife. So that she would be under his cover, behind his back… He himself will be glad about it… To be such that other women for him cease to exist at all….. So that only next to her he would reveal himself, become a real man, confident, courageous, brave.

Someone said that the art of becoming a general’s wife is to see a general in a chubby lieutenant. And only that woman who will pass with him the bumpy path, a very, very difficult path from lieutenant to general, on which no one guarantees the rank, that is the real wife of a general And not the one who has won herself an already ready general.

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