How to behave with a married man to get the most out of this relationship
How to behave with a married man to get the most out of the relationship is something only temptresses know. As a rule, the conscious choice of position mistress make already married ladies or women who do not like “live happily ever after”. Meetings without obligation, each of which is filled with romance and vivid sex, can paint the gray of everyday life.
Nevertheless, even the most enjoyable holidays, which take place almost every day, you may eventually get bored. So your partner may get bored with his mistress, and he will want fresh emotions. Deliver him from even trying to think about a new passion will help our tips on how to behave with a married man.
Features of the relationship with a married man
Many women tend to mistakenly believe that by registering a marriage with a man, they will thus bind him to themselves forever. But, unfortunately, this is far from the case. Now, however regrettable to realize, adultery is becoming a common phenomenon. The man is not stopped by the stamp in his passport, nor by the presence of children. A couple that has been married for many decades and in which the spouses are faithful to each other – a real rarity.
Sometimes it happens that a man and a woman meet at a friendly party and spend the night together, after which they never meet again. They are bound only pleasant memories of the minutes of unbridled passion and nothing more. But more often such a relationship lasts for several years.
It turns out the union in which a man and a woman are in unequal conditions. In principle, she is happy, but does not have his favorite 100%, is constantly in the expectation that he is just about to come to her and stay forever. A man, on the contrary, gets the best of everything: his mistress takes care of herself, is always in a great mood, arranges romantic dinners, does not reproach, is able to listen and support when he needs it so much. Even if all this a man does not get from his wife, he is quite happy with what he gives him a mistress.
Author and facilitator of women’s trainings to harmonize women’s energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of the settlements.
I have prepared for you three lessons that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you to feel loved and live happily.
Video lesson with meditation: The 5 states of femininity
You will learn about the five feminine states that exist in every woman, how they manifest and which archetypes you have the most manifested and which are not developed.
Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships
Telling you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings, and break the energy threads linking you to your past partner.
Audio Recording: Love Yourself Neuro Affirmation
Thanks to this neuro-affirmation you will be able to return love for yourself and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for each of your day.
And start a new, happy life for yourself.
A woman in a relationship with a married man must be mentally prepared to live in constant tension. She is always waiting for him to make time to meet or spend the New Year vacations with her. And the main expectation is his divorce from his wife. As a rule, the right time to divorce his spouse never comes. In addition, constantly there are some events that prevent this: the children have not yet reached adulthood, my beloved mother-in-law is ill, my wife will not survive such a blow, finding out that her husband had an affair on the side for almost five years, etc.
It turns out that all his life a woman has to stay in such a difficult mental state: to torment himself with remorse and continue this relationship or force of will to break this vicious circle and leave his beloved, returning to his family. Sometimes conscience begins to prevail, I want to run away and forget everything. But then he comes again, confesses his love, and she once again melts in his arms. So that ladies do not make mistakes, being in a similar situation, we will help you find the answer, how to behave with a married man, if you are a mistress.
10 rules of conduct with a married man that will help not to dissolve into him
1. Talking about his wife under the strictest prohibition
Many women make the grave mistake of trying to ask their lover about his family and their relationship with his wife. Do you really think that he is now honestly tell you the whole truth? Surely he will try to convince you that he is so unhappy with her, he had to get married, there has never been love, and in general he is with her out of pity, and they sleep in separate rooms for over a year. You can go on and on listening to these fables. All the same, you will never hear an honest answer, which sounds something like this: “I am so comfortable,” “I have fun with you and with his wife. If you don’t want to traumatize your psyche even more, don’t look for answers to such questions.
Do not, under any circumstances, stoop to insulting his wife. It’s his choice, and by speaking unflatteringly about her, you’re humiliating him. The man may take it as a personal insult.
2. Don’t cause a scandal.
The second prohibition – do not cause a scandal married lover. Surely he gets it all from his dearest spouse. Do not try to control his every move, do not make any demands and do not drive him into a box. You’re still not able to fully own his free time and himself. Remember, since you’ve chosen for yourself this way, learn to be fundamentally different from his wife: next to you he should feel love, affection, care and understanding. Be easy, positive and calm in his presence.
If you entered into a relationship with a married man, pursuing only selfish goals, it is likely that your relationship will be short-lived. Men are very sensitive to insincerity. Also, do not give a man expensive gifts – this can cause him a lot of trouble when he will be justified in front of his wife, explaining their appearance.
Do not fall in love with a married lover
If you are bored, lonely or simply decide to behave in such a way as to raise your self-esteem with a married man, there is a very real risk of falling in love with him without memory. Of course, it is possible that in your case there will be a happy ending, he will leave his family for you and you will live with him happily ever after. But the chances are slim. Much more likely the following scenario: you will lose your head in love with him, after a while you will have to break up, as he has no right to leave his wife and children, and you will be struggling with depression on your own. Believe me, building a new relationship with a free member of the stronger sex will be very difficult for you.
4. Do not blame yourself.
Not always a woman is aware that her chosen one is not free. Or, perhaps, the passion aroused the head of both, and you can not cope with their feelings. It is possible that his feelings are sincere. But more often it turns out that a man just wants to diversify his boring family life.
Nevertheless, no one removes the responsibility from the woman. In any case, the only winner here is the man. He had fun and as if nothing happened, he returned to his wife, who will forgive him and will continue to build their cozy family nest.
Keep a sober mind, do not lose your head. As soon as you start to seem suspicious of his behavior, do not hesitate to get out of the relationship. It won’t do you any good.
5. Remove your rose-colored glasses as quickly as possible.
Of course, you simply do not have a chance not to fall head over heels in love with the imposing, handsome, intelligent, handsome man, who buries you generous gifts, and even has a high position. As a rule, men who are not faithful to their wives say the same words to their mistresses:
The wife is a real scandaless, throwing tantrums on and off;
His wife is a mercenary bitch who doesn’t appreciate his kindness, but tries to trick him with money and expensive gifts;
And he has to put up with it all: cooking dinner, doing the laundry, cleaning – everything has to be done by himself;
He and his wife have been living like roommates for over a year, they sleep in separate rooms, what kind of love can we talk about?
Such men are trying to play on pity, telling such stories naive mistress. In fact, he is quite warm and comfortable in bed with both. His wife is quite an adequate woman who certainly doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. So he is trying to deserve even more of your attention and care. After all, you probably can not resist and feel sorry for this poor fellow, who is so unlucky in life.
If you can not stop such a relationship until you can, then at least begin to think that you are being manipulated. In this situation, you certainly do not have to prove anything to anyone, make excuses and feel guilty.
In any case, do not make sacrifices. Spend your evenings the way you want. Have fun with friends, make new friends, enjoy life. Even if you break up with a married man, you will certainly not lose anything of value.
6. Don’t expect a ring from him.
Lovely ladies, well, do not flatter yourself! If a man has many years of family life, quite adequate wife, beloved children, jointly acquired property and the sea of happy moments that unite the family, it is unlikely he will dare to take such a risky step – to abandon everything and start life from scratch. Moreover, it is not known how balanced psyche possesses you. Your relationship is just an affair on the side, which is necessary in order to diversify your life.
7. Be aware of even the little things.
Analyze his behavior. Surely there will be moments that stress you out. He may argue that his wife does not care, but every time she calls rushes to the phone, dashing. He claims that he is bored with his wife, but at the same time disappears for a week or even more, leaving with her to the sea. And in general, it is possible that at this moment your lover besides you is in a relationship with more than one woman.
8. Get everything you wanted – go away.
Be honest with yourself first of all – you wanted to get away from him an expensive necklace, a trip to the Maldives, good sex. Did you get it? Then end the relationship. Maybe it’s too harsh, but it’s honest. Either way, he’s using you, too. So break up with him without regret.
9. Don’t let your personal boundaries be violated.
Don’t live a man’s life. Don’t give up meetings with friends, don’t abandon your favorite hobby. If you don’t know right away that he’s not available, that’s okay. Just advise him to deal with the old relationship first and only then come back to you. Believe me, it is unlikely you will ever meet him again.
10. Do not change your habits.
Psychologists are unanimous in the opinion that only insecure women get involved with married men. Too low self-esteem does not allow them to find a decent man who would cherish this relationship and fear losing it, so they behave so that they dissolve into a married lover without a trace.
The 3 secrets of behavior with a married man not to bore him
How to behave with a married man so that he was attracted to you? If the relationship with a married man began, let’s figure out how to make him fall in love with you finally and irrevocably and every day he lost his head more and more. It’s no secret that most of these couples hang on sex. No, of course, the connection isn’t solely about the bed, but it is of basic importance. If you decide to play hard to get, the man may quickly lose all interest in you and go looking for a more accommodating young lady.
Appearance and sex
You’ll have to forget the phrases “I have a headache now”, “let’s not tonight”, etc. Come to your date, the man obviously expects to be met by a passionate person in erotic lingerie, not a tired woman in a washed robe with dirty hair gathered into a careless bun.
Even if your meeting with him was unplanned, you have to look spectacular. Of course, you don’t have to be in lace lingerie, a transparent robe and with a war paint on your face every time. Just do not be afraid to experiment, show imagination. Surprise your lover with a new image.
Do not take this advice literally. If your relationship will be nothing but sex, then believe me, the man will quickly become cold to you. After all, the relationship based solely on the physical attraction, can not exist for a long time.
In this case we do not mean to listen to all his heartbreaking stories about an evil and misunderstanding boss, strange colleagues and unloved wife. Just give him the opportunity to speak out sometimes, but do not become for him the so-called vest, which he will use in a moment of weakness. You have to remain the woman you love.
Here we are talking about a common hobby. If your lover is a soccer fan, offer him to go together to a match of his favorite team. If he can not live without fishing, organize a joint trip to the nature with fishing rods.
It is extremely important that in addition to common sexual desires unite you and joint hobbies, interests. Sex sooner or later will bore you if there is no spiritual closeness between the partners. Dates will be each time less and less often, and then will stop altogether.
Once again, we repeat – do not completely dissolve into a man, even if you love him madly. He will not appreciate it. Moreover, he will consider you uninteresting woman, who has no hobbies and interests. That is, you run the risk of becoming a second wife.
Arrange him periodically little “surprises”: go with friends out of town, turn off the phone, do not go to a page of social networks. He also goes to his wife and children, and you do not ask him what he is doing there. So you are a free woman, free to do whatever you want. The more you are understatement, the longer his interest will last.
Make him jealous of you. This is not about openly flirting with a strange man in his presence. Just light innocent flirting and chatting with a member of the stronger sex is not illegal at all. Every man is a hunter who does not intend to tolerate a rival, much less share his trophies with him. Yes, and this way you make sure that men like you and get a portion of endorphins. Who knows, maybe during such harmless flirting you will meet your true destiny.
8 mistakes in behavior with a married man-lover
If you still dared to take such a step and decided to stay in this love triangle, then below we give a number of simple rules, following which you will be able to avoid serious mistakes and, as a consequence, unnecessary worries, tantrums and misunderstandings:
Do not be intrusive. Do not call him a hundred times a day, do not ask for a meeting, do not throw all your business to spend time with him. Take care of yourself, and when he is ready to see you, agree to see him.
Don’t criticize his family, his wife, and don’t demand a divorce. Ideally, move off the subject altogether every time he brings it up himself. If so he tells you about the troubles at home, just listen to him silently.
Do not throw tantrums and showdown for nothing. Home it enough, and you have it come to get a portion of love, affection and understanding. So give it to him.
Throw out the obsession to introduce him to all your friends and acquaintances. A man hides your relationship so he won’t get into a bad situation with his wife or hear condemnation from his friends. You don’t want him to get into serious trouble because of you, do you?
Don’t ask for money and gifts. If a man wants to do you a favor, he does not need to remind you of this. This way you’ll only make him angry and make him doubt your sincerity and unselfish intentions.
Don’t forget about yourself. Always remember that the most important person in your life is yourself. Have fun, be happy and enjoy every moment. No need to completely dissolve in a man, he will not appreciate it.
Do not organize interrogations. He is a free man and does not have to account to you for every step and action.
No need to repeat a hundred times a day about his mad love for him. Do not be obsessive. Talk about it, but not too often.
Now you know how to behave with a married man. If you still dared to take such a difficult step and decided to enter into a relationship with an unmarried man, be kind to adhere to the above rules, which will save you from serious problems in the future. Remember that a relationship with a man generally requires a lot of effort, and with a married lover is worth even more patience and accuracy.
Tips for those in a relationship with a married man
A day without a book is a bad day. An experienced editor, a ruthless but fair critic.
The expert is Victoria Fomina.
Physician sexologist of the highest category, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sexuality.
Relationships with married couples have been condemned throughout time. And even today, when many moral principles have fallen into oblivion, connection with a married man is still condemned in the “face” or behind the back.
Before we give girls sound advice about relationships with married men, give them a little bonus – a checklist for a healthy relationship. And it consists of three important points on which at all times were built a long and harmonious relationship.
The question of confidence.
The most important thing in any relationship is confidence in yourself and your partner. Each of us has certain expectations that we set for the one we love. Unlike free men, married men often do not count their strength when they build a parallel relationship. The woman is deprived of affection, attention and care, and suffers madly from this. Answer the questions for yourself and find out how strong your connection is:
- Can you call your partner your support? You need to know for sure that you won’t be alone in a time of need. Beloved to share with you both sorrow and joy? Near him you should feel safe.
- Do you feel that you have a future together? It does not matter how long you want a relationship. It is important not to feel alone and not to wait every day to break up.
If you answered “yes” to all the questions, then congratulations! Your relationship has a solid foundation.
Do not close your eyes to doubts. Think about the issues and decide, do you need that kind of love? Discuss the issue with the man you love. A relationship is a work in progress together. Let it be daily and productive.
A question of trust
An affair with a married man can only be built on intimacy. Of course, such a relationship has a right to exist. But for many women, an emotional connotation is important in love. This point is for romantic individuals.
If you need a soul connection, do not neglect it for the comfort of your partner. Your demands are just as important as his. Check what you are unknowingly depriving yourself of:
- Do you feel a wall between you? You don’t spend much time together, rarely go on dates. You have nothing to discuss and any conversation leads to awkward silence. This is a sign of mental incompatibility!
- How secretive is he? Your intimacy is defined only in bed. A man avoids many topics, does not share his plans and news. Chances are, he will never open up to you. Anything more than sex doesn’t interest him.
- Can you talk frankly with him? Not all problems, plans and emotions can be discussed with family and friends. Sometimes you want to hear your loved one’s opinion, feel his warmth. Partner inattentive to you or asks “not to load” him? Believe me, it’s a warning sign.
Define the boundaries of communication with your loved one and your comfort level. Do not oppress your own interests and do not justify a man’s “complicated nature. Remember, you deserve the best!
The question of reliability
Free relationship does not require the frequent presence of partners in each other’s lives. In this case, reliability is built on the ability not to reveal the secret connection to outsiders.
But suddenly you expect to be in a couple for a long time? The future together is built on big plans and household minutiae:
How often does he keep his promises? A responsible man will show himself from the start. He does not throw words to the wind, does not procrastinate on matters and does not avoid direct answers to questions. Such a man will not forget promises and vows.
Your man does not fit the description. Be prepared that the future with him will turn into an ordeal. But if you don’t want to let a lover into your life, you don’t have to follow the points. Make your partner’s point of view to avoid future misunderstandings.
Tips, arguments, recommendations – how to be happy with a married man?
And now let’s move on to specific tips on how not to lose yourself in connection with a married man and find a chance for a long harmonious relationship.
Do not call and do not write!
First and most importantly, do not try to work things out with his wife. The sudden appearance of another woman in the family will lead to a conflict situation. You are unlikely to get a positive reaction to a call or message.
Don’t get a divorce – he’s on his own!
Trying to speed up the divorce process will bring turmoil into someone else’s family. Your man will face tantrums, jealousy and recriminations from his wife. Scandals will bring no joy to anyone: he will be upset or angry, and you will have to take the blow for yourself. At best, the case will end with your quarrel.
Do not be friends with his wife!
Remember, even if his wife is aware of your relationship, you should not try to fix the relationship. She will have enough stress until the divorce is finalized. Communication will not lead to friendship and will only turn her against you.
Of course, waiting months for your loved one’s divorce is unbearable. One wants stability, family life and getting rid of the “mistress status”. In any case, only a responsible man decides all questions!
The ultimatum – divorce or separation
If a man pulls on the divorce and feeds endless promises, it’s time for a serious conversation. Gather your strength and put him a strict condition: divorce or we’re breaking up. He may be difficult to prepare the ground for a frank conversation with his wife. Remind him that sooner or later it will have to do. If you originally planned a long and happy family life, it will not happen without a divorce.
Set yourself a deadline.
Together, mark a time frame. During this time, your partner should deal with the issue of divorce. You don’t have to rush him every day. At the end of the deadline, discuss the results. Act decisively, coldly, but without pressure.
Speak directly about your feelings.
Many men can’t read hints. Don’t be offended if he doesn’t notice your worries and mood changes. Be honest about your emotions. Tell him what you’re afraid of and what upsets you.
Do not forget to ask about his feelings! Let him talk to you about his inner problems!
Give him confidence.
Secret relationships are stressful not only for the girl, but also for the man. He may feel guilty about his wife and be afraid to make bold moves. Do not reproach him for his weakness. Support your beloved in his hour of need. Together you can do it!
Of course, any patience comes to an end. If the burden of secrecy suffocates, and the soul is filled with fear of the future, you should think about the separation. Weigh all the pros and cons, take the man to a serious conversation and draw conclusions from the results.
Other people’s children – the flowers of life!
If your chosen one has children, this fact may delay your reunion. More often than not, when divorcing, the little ones stay with their mother, and parting with the children stops a man from leaving the family.
Discuss the issue on the shore early in the relationship. Think about whether you are ready to wait and endure his tossing and turning. And will you be able to accept the children of your beloved, who will be constantly present in your life?
Remember, mistress from the word love! This is fine, but in order not to suffer, reflect on each point of this little article. Realize your current situation, try to find a compromise with your lover, and let your life together be easy and happy.