Relationship of a married man and an unmarried woman

Romance with a married man: the right to happiness or utopia.

An affair with a married man is certainly always intriguing and interesting. From the very sacredness of the situation already flying butterflies in the stomach, and the whole life is filled with new meaning. But is it all so beautiful, and do happy endings often happen?

Disappointing statistics say that the hopes of 15% of women are justified, and the rest, alas, never get to the number of the happy. About the peculiarities of such relationships and why girls in general decide on the status of the mistress, hoping for happiness, we will tell in this article.

The truth about the novel with a married man

On the subject of love triangles shot a lot of movies and sang a lot of songs. One of the Russian statistics center has revealed that every second of our countrywoman was a love affair with a man who is married. The reasons for such relationships have been voiced different – from the desire to get a thrill to the sudden rush of passion. It should not be forgotten that, according to the same statistics, there are more women than men. Therefore, the lady is sometimes forced to get involved in such a relationship to build their own happiness.

Is it happiness? How permissible to ruin someone else’s family to build their own? It’s already a question of ethics. And speculate on this topic can be very long. But what makes women and men to such novels?

Unfaithful husbands to have an affair for the following reasons:

The man is experiencing a lack of attention from his wife. Love fever cooled, and the wife does not look at him with the same passion. Trying to find excitement on the side, the husband takes the mistress.

Intimacy does not bring pleasure. Sex, as an important component of the relationship in marriage can be a stumbling block. If a man does not find his wife’s response to his erotic fantasies, he will begin to seek their realization with someone else.

The desire to assert themselves. Narcissism and the desire to prove their importance may prompt a man to seek thrills.

Mid-life crisis. Often after 35-40 years begins to rethink life. There is a desire to try things that previously did not have access. If dissatisfaction with his spouse is added to this, the man begins to look for a partner on the side.

If the man is used to women’s attention and has never lacked it; if he is used to changing women like a glove, even if he is legally married, he will not stop looking for new partners.

The emergence of sincere feelings can be another reason for an affair on the side. In a marriage can subside passion, come to understand that the spouse is far from the image of a worthy companion. In our modern world divorce is no longer something vulgar, so a man can easily get out of the marital relationship, if he met “the one, the only one.

This last reason is more of a rarity than a pattern. Most often a man is not going to break the bonds of marriage, because everything suits him: at home – wife and children, ironed clothes, delicious food, with a mistress – passionate sex and minimal responsibility, because she knew that the man is not free. This kind of relationship is an unspoken agreement that no one demands anything: special attention, complete dedication, family.

If you take away your emotions and look at an affair with a married man with a sober eye, you can see that:

It is an affair with no future. You don’t have to be naive and think that your chosen one is about to leave the family and be all yours. He is satisfied with life in two camps, and he will not change anything. But you will torment yourself with empty hopes.

It’s a constant game of spies. No matter how you look at it, society has a negative attitude toward this kind of affair. In order not to be condemned by relatives, colleagues or friends, you will hide your feelings. Dating sneakily.

This is the illusion of family. You know what the meaning of family is that few people think about? It’s family holidays and celebrations and sometimes troubles. Be prepared for the fact that you will not be awakened on the morning of March 8 by the smell of coffee and a bouquet of tulips. And in case you need a man’s support, your man may just be busy with his family.

This is jealousy of his wife. We are all possessive in relationships. Jealousy of the other woman, his wife, is bound to accompany you. After all, she shares his household, his time, his attention, his bed.

This feeling that you are superfluous. For him, family will always come first. Taking care of his wife’s feelings, he will try not to give himself away. So if he gets a call from his spouse on your date, he will move away to talk to her. How does it feel to be an extra ear, an outsider?

It’s a desire for something more. Over time, you will realize that your lover simply puts you on his schedule: when and what time you will see each other, how much time you will spend together. The essence of such meetings is sex. That is you are included in the schedule, as a source of pleasure. And that’s it. You will have conversations about a more serious relationship, but these attempts will be suppressed or avoided. Or you will be immediately put in your place by a categorical statement: I will never leave my wife.

The advantages of an affair with a married man

Why do women, knowing full well about all the disadvantages of an affair with a man who is not free, yet go for such a relationship? What reasons make them make such a choice?

Confidence in the health of married men. Strange as it may seem, but many ladies are convinced that a man in marriage leads a healthier lifestyle. He consumes less alcohol and nicotine, pays more attention to physical activity.

There is no risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. In married life, both partners take care of themselves, there are no multiple casual sexual contacts on either side. A married man is more choosy and careful.

With a married lover, you can experiment in sex. He is already interested in it, because he wants to get new sensations. And a woman needs a test subject who is not afraid to be frightened by excessive activity and fantasies.

A married man always prepares for the meeting: clean clothes, perfume, seductive behavior. At home he may walk around in knee-high sweatpants, but on a date with you will come in their best clothes.

Do not forget that some women do not want to sink into the routine of everyday life. They are self-sufficient and independent. As a rule, they have a well-built career, and there is a good financial margin. These women want to live for themselves, without the burden of responsibility for someone else. They have their own circle of interests, they try to communicate with different people, including different men.

For such representatives of the fair sex, an affair with a married man is an opportunity not to limit her freedom of personal life. She will coordinate and approve the dating schedule, will not make claims about the future together and will not harass with jealousy. Everyone will be a winner.

But the perks of such a relationship don’t end there. Here are a few more points that give food for thought:

Independence and freedom from obligation. Personal time belongs only to you. You make plans without looking back at your partner’s desires. You can even have a few lovers, without having to explain yourself to anyone.

A kind of experience that allows you to gather information about a person’s behavior in a spicy situation – cheating. If you have an interest in behavioral psychology, or if you want to learn to understand people better, this kind of relationship will bring a lot of new knowledge.

Borrowing life experience and knowledge. If a man is erudite, has a wide range of interests, you can learn a lot from him, right? Communicating with him, you’ll get new information that will make you fully developed.

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Married man and unmarried woman: the psychology of the relationship

Married men are very liked by girls. They are successful, serious, experienced. But the secret is that it was his wife who made him so well-groomed, responsible, interesting and manly. She met most likely with the same kind of simple guy that you are bored with.

Why do women like married men? They create the illusion of being ready for a serious relationship. If he once went under the wedding, then marriage, family and children are definitely not going to scare him. And this misconception has ruined many mistresses’ lives.

When you fall in love with a busy man, you let a man into your life who is not trustworthy, who has already cheated at least one woman. Relationship with a married man and psychology are very related to each other. Therefore, the scenarios are always about the same.

1. How did you fall into this network?

It is commonly believed that the mistress is such an insidious sinner who ruins the family, and burn her at the stake for it. But in fact, these are isolated cases. And such girls get into the family with a specific purpose, they get it and they are satisfied. Well, imagine yourself, what girl can dream since childhood to steal a married man? It’s more like a set of circumstances.

More often in a relationship with a married man a woman finds herself in two cases: she didn’t know he was married; he lied about not actually leading a family life.

  • He didn’t say he was married. The most dangerous and traumatic situation. He didn’t wear a wedding ring, he didn’t talk about children, he behaved like a free man. In such ignorance, the mistress can live for years, unaware of his status.All the worst begins when the secret becomes clear. Finding out such a truth is very bitter. Disappointment in the beloved man, who turned out to be a liar and cheater, a strong sense of guilt before his wife, trampled self-esteem, despair because of the wasted time. Such relationships last up to this point. But even after completing them, the woman still a long time comes to herself.
  • The wife is like there is, but she is not. It seems like everyone has heard these men’s tales, but everyone who finds themselves with this noodle on their ears was sure that this would never happen to her.The man tells her that he and his wife have not lived together for a long time, or live like neighbors, just for the sake of the children. They don’t divorce for “very good” reasons. He promises that this is temporary, convinces them not to pay any attention to the stamp in the passport.

This is how a married man in love behaves. Most likely he is not deliberately deceiving you, but he believes that everything will sort itself out somehow.

But time goes on, and his mistress is still in the background. She can not appear with him at events, can not celebrate the New Year together with his beloved man, can not wear his name, in a lawful marriage to give birth to a child. In the end, it all ends up with the same regrets about lost time as all other mistresses.

How do you know if a married man loves you? Very simple! He won’t hurt you with his uncertainty. Understand, he is not leaving her because he loves you very much or worries about the health of his lawful wife or because of the children. A man who has decided to leave, nothing can stop him. In fact, he is just hesitant, afraid to make a final decision and free you both from this oppression of expectation and suffering.

2. Why do married men fall in love with others?

A relationship with a married man usually begins just like any other. Meet, like, flirtation period, falling in love. It can be a resort or office romance. A chance encounter on the street or going beyond a long-standing friendship.

How do you know if a man who is already married loves you? Remember how a boy in love behaves? Trying to pay a lot of attention, zadarivaet gifts, seeking meetings, touches, in every way protects from the problems and stresses.

Do not forget that you can not love more than one woman at a time. Either he loves his wife or you. If the choice is in your favor, he will not be afraid to come to his wife and say: “I fell in love with another woman. Forgive me and let go. This is the only way to judge that his intentions towards you are really serious. And if you only hear empty “I like you; then I will definitely marry you,” etc., such a relationship is better to break up as soon as possible, even though the guy is very hooked.

Why do married men flirt and want other women to like them? They want to make sure they are admirable, compare their abilities to other unmarried friends. Just fun, entertainment. And the girls fall in love and start showing that attitude, which is very bribing: a lot of care, attention, compliments. And here the man is already in a state of contemplation: a built, bored relationship with his wife or with a new round with the one that loves you so much?

3. Statistics

90% of men cheat on their wives at various points in their marriages. Only 10% of them go to their mistresses. 5% of them go back to their wives. And only 3% of those who stay in a new marriage for the rest of their lives. A relationship with a married man is a lottery. The most valuable thing at stake is your time and your feelings. The chances of winning are slim to none.

4. Wife and Lover

These two women are equally afraid and jealous of each other. A married man and a free woman is a whole psychology. From the wife’s side the picture looks like this: she is beautiful, free. He goes out with her, gives her gifts, compliments. They have great sex. The mistress sees it this way: I’m number 2, he won’t leave his wife. They have children together, they all celebrate holidays together. All his friends know her, she doesn’t have to hide. From me he always comes back to her.

A smart mistress will always try to make sure no one knows about her. She doesn’t call her wife, she doesn’t leave a trace of her presence in his life, she doesn’t call him or send him love texts in the middle of the night.

But with a high degree of probability we can say that this is not a loving woman, but a huntress. Sooner or later, a loving woman is devoured by jealousy, and unwilling to stay in the shadows, she needs certainty.

A smart wife will pretend not to know about the mistress. And most likely she will win. It is difficult for men in principle to dare to make changes in their lives, let alone such drastic ones. Stability is hard to give up. A husband gets used to home, to children, to family traditions, to vacations. And the mistress is regarded as an entertainment or an outlet. But in order to risk building a family with her, a man should have very good reasons.

5. How to get out of the love triangle?

If you do want a married man to leave the family and come to you, you must also remember that by taking your wife’s place, someone will take your mistress’s place. So many cases where a woman wanted to leave the man from the family, gave him children, and he either returned to his ex, or falls in love with another.

Building a relationship with a married man, the advice of a psychologist will be necessary. It is impossible all the time to be on high heels and in stockings, every day to create a man’s holiday. One way or another, in your couple will still come life, soreness, fatigue and irritation. You will become a wife, get pregnant, have a baby. At the same time you will want to trust the man you love with all your heart, but finding yourself in the same vulnerable situation as his ex-wife once was, with trust will be very tight.

How to behave with a married man? There are only two ways out of the triangle: either to break up the relationship on their own initiative, or to make him decide. How? There is a very effective method, but before you take a man out of the family, evaluate all the consequences, weigh the pros and cons. And remember, having decided on this, you can not retreat.

Tune in, pull yourself together, and at the next meeting clearly and concisely define their limits: “I love you, my dear, I understand the situation you find yourself in. I have waited a very long time for you. But it can’t go on like this. You must make a decision: with her or with me. That’s why, as of today, I’m giving you a month to think about it. In exactly one month, I expect you here, in the same place. Either with your suitcases or your rejection. In the meantime, you and I will not meet, call, or text each other. It will help you understand how much you need me, how important I am, how you feel without me.

From this point on, the test of your willpower will begin. You must pull yourself together and fulfill your own conditions. At the same time, remember the statistics. No matter how much you want the decision was in your favor, the wife has a better chance. He may never have intended to leave the family in the first place. It’s just a fact you have to accept. If you haven’t already, don’t give the man an ultimatum, keep letting him sit on two chairs.

6. Portrait of a mistress.

This status can be either a determined hunter or a woman who has self-esteem issues. And it doesn’t matter if she initially knew what kind of relationship she was getting into or if she was deceived. What matters is that she is unable to complete such a humiliating relationship. She doesn’t understand how she can break up with a married man she loves.

It seems to her that this is the last man on earth, so she needs to drag him into a relationship with her at all costs. She believes that no one else wants her and will not find a better man for herself.

This is already an alarming symptom of self-loathing. But in a situation of competition with his wife, self-esteem will inevitably fall even lower. Will begin the constant comparison and bewilderment: “Why, if he loves me so much, he has not yet left?”

In parallel, will grow dependent on the man. And then he will set the conditions. So there are women who have deprived themselves of the future, for example, single mothers, voluntarily agreed to give birth to a married man. Or even worse, dedicated their whole life waiting for a man. They were never able to build a relationship with another, to truly fall in love again, so they never married or had children.

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