Psychology of military men, distinctive qualities: we understand all sides

How to build a relationship with a military man

Many girls like guys in uniform. Because psychologically in a relationship with a man-military woman feels like a stone wall. Let’s weigh the pros and cons of such a union.

Psychological characteristics of military men

In terms of human qualities and character traits, a male soldier does not differ from a man from the “civilian”. He can be cheerful or surly, withdrawn or sociable, irritable or reserved, sympathetic or callous.

Nevertheless, the army way of life and the specific character of his work leave a mark on his attitude toward women and his communication with them.

Strict discipline, a clear daily schedule, and strict regulations mean that such people have virtually no free time for personal life. A military man prefers to build a serious relationship right away, and does not exchange it for frivolous flirting.

Such men need a “battle friend” and a reliable rear. Therefore, a woman who dreams of becoming an officer’s wife must possess the following qualities:

  • Loyalty;
  • caring;
  • poise;
  • non-conflict;
  • housekeeping;
  • discipline.

Such a husband will not be burdened with his problems. All the more so, with complaints and demands.

Blaming him for not helping at home or not paying enough attention to his children will also have to be abandoned. A male soldier loves his family no less than any other. He just can not constantly be near his wife and child because of the specifics of work.

What awaits a woman who has decided to have a relationship with a military man

It is important to understand that the way of life, the specifics, the psychology of a man-military will affect the relationship and the fate of the woman. It will be required:

  1. Carry full responsibility for the household, children and household. With a high degree of probability you will have not only to cook, clean and wash, but also to hammer nails, screw in screws and fix irons. Plus you have to make time for children’s activities, lessons, parent-teacher conferences, and anything else that has to do with parenting in general.
  2. You may have to change your place of residence more than once a year. Today you can live in Norilsk, in six months – in Transbaikalia, and in another two months – on the Kola Peninsula.
  3. A male military man may be away from home for a long time, away on training exercises. Long periods of loneliness, waiting and anxiety are constantly present in the life of an officer’s wife.
  4. The husband’s mood and attitude toward his family may depend greatly on the environment of the service. If he comes home tired, irritable, moody, or depressed, the woman will have to be patient, understanding, and empathetic.

A woman with such a man must take responsibility for the family microclimate.

Advantages and disadvantages of relationships with servicemen

You do not need to be a psychologist to understand that such a relationship will not suit every woman. You need to have specific qualities and a certain warehouse of character.

However, there are advantages:

  • Strange as it may seem, but the frequent absence of the husband at home can be attributed to the advantages. The spouses do not have time to bore each other.
  • With a military husband, a woman really feels like she is behind a rock wall.
  • A smart wife can become a complete mistress of the house.
  • And the man will fully provide for the family. You will only have to manage the house.

Marriage to a military man has its negative sides.

  • You will have to move often from place to place, so there will be great difficulties with the arrangement of a stable life.
  • For the same reason, it will not be easy to build relationships with people or maintain existing ones. Frequent changes of location will prevent you from making friends and having a permanent circle of communication.
  • If you got a good education, you may have to put your diploma on the shelf. The most common professions among officers’ wives: teacher, psychologist, librarian. It is unlikely that in any remote garrison there are enough jobs for everyone.
  • The attitude to working wives among the husbands of military men is ambiguous. Many are against having a wife work.
  • In military camps, especially at the beginning of the husband’s career, there can be poor living conditions and poor infrastructure: no kindergartens, schools, stores and recreational facilities nearby, poor housing conditions.

These are only the most obvious pluses and minuses that a woman may encounter. In real life, there are many more different nuances.

Where to meet a military man for a serious relationship

If your dream is a man-military, the psychology of relations with a woman and the peculiarities of his behavior do not confuse, then it’s time to find out where the easiest place to meet a future groom:

  1. Of course, in a city where there is a military base.
  2. Higher or secondary military educational institution. Here the chances of getting a cadet as a groom are high. Military schools sometimes organize parties and discos, to which you can get “from the street”. And for the most motivated and determined girls, a piece of advice: enroll in such an educational institution.
  3. Military camp. Also a suitable place where you can meet the man of your dreams.
  4. And dating sites. Specify in the questionnaire that you are only interested in candidates in uniform and in uniform.

Because of its psychology, building a relationship and family with a male military officer is a promising event for those who like order and discipline. An officer’s wife is a vocation. Someone who will provide a reliable rear, support in a difficult moment with love, simple worldly advice. And the hardships of army life will eventually pay off with the stability of the relationship.

Happy relationship with a military man. Psychology of military men, distinctive qualities Military man what he is like with a girl

Being an officer’s wife is not easy at all, she also carries out service with her lover, obeying the same orders and the same daily routine as he does.

What should be ready for a girl who decided to link their fate with the military:

  • To long separations and often unexpected business trips, when all the problems of everyday life and child-rearing fall on her shoulders.
  • Frequent changes of residence, and a semi-nomadic life, unsettled living conditions and temporary apartments are unlikely to please her
  • The need to be not only a faithful and loving wife for her husband, but also a family psychologist who can relieve stress and create a comfortable atmosphere in the family
  • To the fact that her husband will not talk about business and share work problems, that there will always be in his life line, beyond which he will not let her
  • To self-denial, because often military wives have to give up their jobs, their careers, the small pleasures of women. Distant garrisons often have no fitness centers, no beauty salons, no big stores

But there is one very important circumstance that makes women tolerate all these inconveniences, put up with their husband’s workload and his absences. It is love. And those who know what family life with an officer are sure: a real military wife can become only by love.

Marriage with a military man provides a fairly reliable rear

Reliable in material terms. After all, men in uniform get paid on time, plus they have various bonuses: advantages in solving housing problems, once a year free travel for the family to any place, food rations.

We intuitively feel that this type is the perfect candidate to father an unborn child. Of course, it’s scary to give birth away from your mother, you’ll have to forget about buying an apartment and a vacation in Egypt. But this is the best time to have a career. There are a lot more opportunities in the countryside. There will be a new circle of communication. As a rule, these are the same “Decembrists” with similar problems to yours.

Before you rush headlong into a whirlwind of dating, we suggest you find out what types of military men there are.

How to be a military wife: the peculiarities of life and relationships

Military service is not a job, but a lifestyle. This should be understood by women who have chosen the fate of an officer’s wife. To family life with a military officer was not a burden and brought not only problems, but also joy, it should be built on love and understanding.

For this it is necessary to take into account a number of peculiarities of coexistence with the serviceman:

  • The military spouse remains him at home as well, which means that the family and everyday life are most often subject to strict routines
  • In officers’ families, more often than not, there is a patriarchal order. A woman must not only understand but also accept her role as a keeper of the home
  • Military service is hard not only physically but also psychologically, so home should be an island of comfort and peace where your man can rest and relax.
  • Life in garrisons is forced to make most officers’ wives housewives. In order not to get annoyed with boredom and not to complain spouse, find yourself something to do, a hobby or a specialty that will be in demand everywhere

But most importantly, remember that you yourself have made a choice, becoming an officer’s wife

It is no secret that both girls and guys, since their youth, think about the future of family life, scrolling in their minds the possible options of its development. Since their first year of military service, guys doing military service as conscripts and cadets in military schools (Suvorov military schools, cadet schools, etc.) walk in parks and squares looking for future life partners every chance they get in the city on “leave”. Girls, who in their wildest dreams imagine images of favorite men in shoulder straps, periodically stroll around territories adjacent to military units, get acquainted with soldiers and cadets on daily duty at check points, with single contract servicemen outside military units in their free time from the duties of military service… As a result, in most cases – mutual love, marriage, happy married life with overcoming all the accompanying difficulties. However, unfortunately, not all military families are as “rosy” as we would like them to be… Some women who got married, as a rule, for cadets of 4-5 courses in military schools, before their husbands get the first officer’s rank, are horrified to realize that they will have to go with the husband not to a big city – “million city”, as maybe they both dreamed, but to a closed military town on the outskirts of the country with unfavorable climatic conditions and population of several hundreds, maybe dozens people. This is when for the first time the marital relations of some military families give “cracks”. Other representatives of the weaker sex, having lived some time in such conditions, realizing the hopelessness of the situation and the total absence of perspectives in the realization of their recent plans to build a career in accordance with the education received, psychologically “break”, sacrifice their feelings in favor of their own self-realization in life. They file for divorce, go to their parents in their hometown, get a job there, try to make a career, look for new relationships with civil men. After all, members of this category will always live in the same city and they will never be transferred anywhere! Needless to say, this breakup of relationships with military men, in most cases, is accompanied, in fact, by the loss of one of the parents, usually the father, to the children of military men. This situation can negatively influence the military man’s moral-psychological state and his ability to effectively fulfill service and combat missions in future… Therefore girls should think thoroughly before starting relations with military men whether they are able to overcome all the difficulties of family life during their husbands military service in the future…

Where to look for a military man to date?

It is logical to assume that you should look in places where officers are stationed for dating. Where to meet a military man? The checkpoints of academies and headquarters, garrison stores, parties and presentations at educational institutions, city celebrations on Victory Day, the waterfront of a seaside town on Navy Day.

Getting an invitation to a young lieutenant’s graduation party is great luck. Those who, due to various circumstances, has not yet had time to get a family, will pay attention to a stranger. Who knows, maybe the marriage proposal you have to wait a little longer.

If there are officer families among your friends, go visit! You can ask in advance about the marital status of the man you like and start acting. There are sections on online dating sites that exclusively feature sailors, pilots, and servicemen of other specialties.

The ideal place is the sanatoriums for military men. Since it is not welcomed for active servicemen to go abroad, they mostly rest in domestic health resorts. A resort romance does not always end in marriage, but the probability is not excluded.

Chatting in social networks is a popular way to get acquainted today. Invite the guy you like to his friends, try to understand what he’s interested, ask him about his service, future plans, friends.

A method that is not very suitable for shy girls, but the result can be unexpected. Put a note with your phone number in the pocket of a guy who is standing in the cordon at the celebration, or serving in an honor guard company at the monument. Nothing more is required of you, just wait. If the cavalier calls, do not be embarrassed and tell him directly, very much liked, and how else could you get his attention?

On the day of taking the military oath, go to a former classmate or roommate to celebrate. Your acquaintance’s classmates will no doubt pay attention to the smiling, sweet girl, and ask their friend for the phone number to get acquainted.

Another rather creative way to meet not just one, but many servicemen at the same time is to enroll in a military academy! You will be surrounded daily by fellow students, instructors, and teachers. Take your pick!

How to marry a military man? Is it worth marrying a military man?

Gallant hussars and guys in uniform have at all times attracted the attention of girls. And yet, is it worth marrying a military man or will such a marriage not last long?

The obvious pros and cons of a military husband

+1. He is motivated from an early age to achieve goals and material goods in life.

He has been set in his ways by his parents since childhood, he has studied with tutors at school, he has worked out at the gym or in the garage on the bar before he goes to school. He knows when he wants to buy a car and when he needs to start saving for his son’s education.

+2. Your chosen one is disciplined, hardworking, or rather hard-working, and knows how to take responsibility.

Debauchees and pro-lifers are expelled or leave on their own before the third year. The rest learn to sweep the streets, scrub toilets, and stand guard around the clock.

+3. Military men marry early and have children early.

The cadets get married en masse before they graduate, because if they are sent to the border, there may be no beauties.

If a serviceman does not get married after the assignment, the fellow servicemen will constantly ask: “Well, haven’t you got married yet?” implying: “Are you a bachelor? What do you do in the evenings? Drinking? “Do you go out with women? What about the honor of the uniform?”

You don’t have to talk him into having a baby. In a military environment it’s taken for granted as something natural. And you’ll move into a two-bedroom apartment.

+4. You do not have to live with your parents.

In Moscow he is supposed to live in a dormitory for the military, but in a good military camp you will have a service apartment. A one-room flat is for newlyweds, a two-room flat if you have a child, a three-room flat if you have two children.

+5. The state guarantees a military man an apartment.

Now all military young people go under the military mortgage program. This means that after a certain length of service, one can report and the state pays for a loan to buy an apartment while still in the service. The sum is fixed, but it is enough for a two-flat in a new house in a regional town, or even a three-flat.

It is true that the law protects officers. In a divorce, the wife has no right to claim a share in this apartment, unless she used the maternity capital when purchasing it.

+6. Salary, thirteenth wage, extra pay for harmful work and other privileges.

They don’t give high salaries to military men, especially to the commanders who educate soldiers 24 hours a day. And a voucher there for a child to a sanatorium can be obtained, say, for health reasons.

+7. He will be dressed for free by Yudashkin.

The state provides soldiers with uniforms, underwear, socks, hats, boots, outerwear and even scarves sewn from sketches by Yudashkin.

How to get acquainted with him?

It is easy to meet a military man at a holiday party at the Officers’ House, even a very modest, a little complexed girl. If you have not yet received attention, feel free to approach the most interesting of the guys and ask if he has seen a tall, blond lieutenant?

He invited you here, but he didn’t show up, you don’t know anybody here, and you are at a complete loss. You can make up another version – friends offered to keep you company, but they changed their plans.

A little helplessness beautifies a woman. Well, what self-respecting officer would leave a young lady and not try to help a stranger?

Did you know that men like compliments? It is important to praise properly, without much flattery. You can say, “I am immensely grateful for your help. It’s so rare to find a real man these days.” “Thank you for your time. They must be waiting for you. I’d better be going.” Further scenario of events does not depend on you, you can remain a spectator, the main role will belong to your new acquaintance.

Why you should not marry a military man.

-He doesn’t work. He serves. Or rather, he works hard.

He can leave at 8 am and come back at 7 pm. And if he has soldiers in his care, he can be there at eleven o’clock at night.

He can work without a day off for two weeks. He may go unexpectedly on a business trip or a drill.

He may be called in to shovel snow on a Sunday.

He may be put on duty on New Year’s Eve.

He might spend all day fixing the roof. Or mow the grass. Or sawing trees.

-2. Don’t expect him to help around the house regularly.

He won’t be able to go to pick up potatoes and take out the garbage all the time.

Catch him on his day off. If you don’t feel sorry for him.

He won’t always be able to take you and your baby and things to the hospital-you’ll be calling a cab yourself.

-3. He likes order, cleanliness, and good food.

No, he won’t put socks in the closet, but he will notice cobwebs in the back corner or limescale on the kettle. He was taught to do that.

By the way, he doesn’t like braised cabbage. They gave him bigus for five years in the cadet canteen.

-4. Get ready to take care of his health.

His job is nerve-racking. He can work outside in the snow, rain, and freezing temperatures.

He may have chronic nervous gastritis and constant colds.

Get ready to rub him with vodka, warm him with sand, and steep him with infusions.

-5. You will hate this once seductive form.

Get ready to sew epaulets on your shoulders, chevrons on your sleeves, heat gold stars on the fire to turn them silver (because we suddenly ran out of silver ones at home) and master other exotic activities.

-6. You should always think about what passersby and others around you think of you.

There may be so few people in town that gossip travels at the speed of sound.

In the next house lives his boss.

You can’t hang laundry on the balcony, because the commission is coming.

-7. He has to drink.

Even if he does not like to drink, his duty is to come to the corporate party in honor of the New Year and celebrate the birthdays of all co-workers in the department.

And it’s also his duty to celebrate ranks and new cars, to give thanks for the birth of a child, to celebrate bonuses.

Sometimes the amount spent on vodka exceeds the amount of the prize.

In general, an officer’s wife is a woman who loves, cares for, and forgives. Which means that she is valued and loved. And cannot live without her.

How to marry a cadet?

To the standard advice on how to marry is automatically added a few nuances.

1. Forget about girlish pride.

Waiting for your betrothed at the checkpoint for an hour is normal.

Talking to him through the fence is normal.

Not being offended if he didn’t pick up, was late, or didn’t show up for a date is normal.

He doesn’t belong, he could have had his dismissal overturned.

2. Think about your reputation.

Cadets cook in the same environment around the clock. Word spreads easily.

  • Don’t date two cadets at once (choose a student to be the “second” guy);
  • Do not go to the barracks;
  • Don’t sleep with every cadet if you change guys like gloves.

3. Create a home-like atmosphere for your lover.

If his parents are in another city – he lacks home comfort and warmth.

Invite him home, feed him pies and boiled borscht.

Be ready quickly and skillfully alone or with girlfriends to “set the stage” at his rental apartment for your loved one and his friends.

4. Be passionate.

Cadets are constantly short on time for intimacy. Intimacy is another key to his heart.

5. Become his “battle buddy.”

Let him think that you are the soulmate who understands him, supports him and is always waiting.

How to marry an officer?

Be sweet, kind, charming, feminine, passionate, fun.

Smoothly lead him to the idea that you are very cozy and you are the girl to whom he will run home to a comfortable apartment, where dinner is prepared, shirts are washed and chevrons are sewn on that tunic, which he will wear tomorrow at the parade.

Just don’t get carried away playing the practical hostess. You have to “hint” by your behavior, and not to impose numerous responsibilities even before the wedding. Put in order in the apartment, where the day before there was a big booze party without your participation – not necessarily.

Is it easy to be married to a military man: revelations of a border guard wife

Constant moves, lonely evenings and unsettled life – this is not a complete list of all the “charms” of life of military wives. Not everyone can put up with such a fate.

But this is the only way, thanks to the dedication and support of life partners, from lieutenants come generals. Remember the popular phrase from the movie “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”: “In order to become a general you must marry a lieutenant and spend twenty years living in garrisons with him. Through the taiga and the desert”.

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