How to manipulate a man with words
Do you want to manipulate a man so that he even liked it? Learn the basic game of words. It’s not difficult, the main thing – to catch the essence of this game and fix in your memory some of the phrases.
Some women and men use these phrases intuitively (as did one of my childhood friends, who, despite her rather modest appearance, was the object of adoration of half the school), others use them quite consciously and no less successfully. I started collecting these magic words when I was a schoolgirl, you get everything ready on a silver platter.
Each of us may have our own unique style of dialogue, but sometimes it is hard to find the words, and you need to talk right away. After all, what happens when you are not given time to think? You rush gibberish first thing that comes to mind.
In addition, in a relationship between a man and a woman, there are many topics that require a particularly sensitive attitude, such as sex, marriage, money and other sensitive issues, responding to which must be a good think. “Suggestion templates” are simple rescue phrases, the purpose of which is to make your dialogue with a man more harmonious. These phrases allow you to hold the psychological initiative throughout the conversation, that is, they make you the mistress of the situation. What exactly can the templates do:
1. Help you not be confused when you’re being pushed around; deftly evade a direct answer. 2. Cultivate interest in yourself without giving too much information about yourself. 3. Lead the other person out in the open: templates clarify things for you and blur them for him. 4. Steer the conversation in the right direction. 5. Identify common interests more quickly. 6. Make your dialogue with a man more exciting. 7. Give a man the idea you want.
What manipulative patterns can not!
Manipulative templates are temporary crutches that must be discarded after you get the experience you need. Manipulative patterns cannot undo the work of your brain! It is important to understand the essence of things and only based on the Essence, adjust the words to it. Manipulate wisely!
So, sentence patterns with which you can learn the basics of wordplay:
Unexpected clarifying questions:
1. What do you really want? 2. Why are you telling me this? 3. How do you imagine it? 4. Speak more clearly, what are you talking about? 5. Go on 6. Why? 7. What’s the problem? 8. And then? 9. Do you want to help? 10. Repeat his last word as a question.
1. I’ll think about it. 2. Enjoy the moment. 3. That’s what everyone wants. 4. Soon, but not now. 5. It’s not easy with me. 6. Not so fast.
1. it’s what you want. 2. Courage. 3. That’s what I like to do. 4. Relax. 5. Don’t think about anything! 6. I know you’ll do anything for me.
Sowing doubt, causing guilt:
1. Repeat. 2. Have you thought this through? 3. I understood everything. 4. Everything is clear. 5. Okay, okay. 6. Let me think about it. 7. I’ll take your example.
To enhance the effect, pause and hold an eye-to-eye look.
How to manipulate a man if he’s a collector. He: We’ve been dating for two weeks, you know how I feel about you. You: Speak more clearly. Him: And we’re still “just friends.” You: Enjoy the moment. Him: I can’t do this anymore, I’m a man. You: Why are you telling me this? Him: When will you finally be mine? You: Soon, but not now. He: I want you,” he squeezes you in his arms. You: Everyone wants this, etc., etc.
In the process of this dialogue, the man gets the deceptive feeling that he’s just a little bit more “ready,” which warms him up. You bring him to the boil by keeping a neutral position – without refusing and not resisting, while you do not agree to anything.
How to manipulate a man if he promises too much.
Suppose the man is already captivated by the conversation with you; you gave him a compliment, we found a common theme, he began to talk about pleasing to him things. Now wait until he starts promising, and after a short pause, say in a calm voice, “I know you will do anything for me.” Say it in a confident, nonchalant tone, seriously looking him straight in the eye. And what will you see? Chances are, his eyes will glaze over for a while, and then you change your mood abruptly and, laughing nonchalantly, continue, “Relax, you want it yourself!” The power of this turn is that by saying so, you put in his head is very clear and pleasant set: “You do everything for me, because you want it.
How to manipulate the man, if he all the time for you “busy” He: Listen, today a lot of work, I do not know whether you can see. You: I get it. Okay. He: What do you understand? You: I’ll take my cue from you. Him: Are you offended? Why? But we’ll surely see each other tomorrow? You: Have you thought it over? Do you want to go to your favorite restaurant tomorrow? You: Relax, see you.
Here you are causing the man to feel anxious that you know more than he would like. The patterns used in this example are helpful when you need to get a man to please you and justify his behavior to you.
When you get used to using these and similar phrases, you will no longer be frantically choosing tactful responses or answering in a rude and nervous manner. However, you will only be able to truly maintain neutrality and self-control, and therefore your interests, if you completely change the settings in your head. It is the settings in your head, not the stored in it words-templates that make a victim a manipulator, as well as a woman-donor Vamp.
Do you want to work through this topic in more depth? OK! We can break down your situation in a How to Answer Trick Questions webinar.
Well, for anyone who thinks it’s immoral to manipulate a man, there’s an article He’s Manipulating. How to behave.
Tamara Paliy Google+
There is soul and personal experience put into this article. How personal experience affects the value of the material on offer is explained in the video Experience Bearers: The Killing Kitchen of Benefits, “How to Make Him…”
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This is how the “pain point” was discovered. (It’s on the website). It shook him up, and even though he continued to be confident, I could no longer see his confidence, but his weakness. I began to feel sorry for him, you know, the way a mother feels sorry for a child when he is very stubborn…
My boyfriend often started to just hang up on me right to my face. Can yell that I’m sick first, etc. And then hangs up, or just say something where he’s on me and hangs up. Yesterday we were talking about the alimony he pays our daughter every month. Then he hangs up. I call back because I thought that the connection was interrupted and he bangs and resets the call. Half an hour later I get a text; I remember what you used to be like with me… It makes me sick. I just hate talking to you sometimes. I didn’t say anything back. That’s how to let him know once and for all that such tricks won’t work anymore. Hang up the phone and the next day call as if nothing had happened.
You already brought up your topic in one of the threads. Until you completely change yourself, nothing will. If you were to send him away once with the words “Get lost, I don’t want to know you,” everything would soon change. are you working? Then you can do without his money for a while. But you call yourself, putting yourself in a dependent position, and this is the result. You don’t need to call.
Good afternoon! Thank you for your wonderful advice!
But there is a question: how to act when the same techniques are used by the man himself? I only now, after reading your site, I am beginning to realize that I was manipulated all this time. Most likely he does it unconsciously (not on purpose), because I feel and can see by many of his actions that he has sincere feelings.
Here is an excerpt from your article : “- I do not feel you, you are some strange now (…. hold a pause until his first reaction….) usually after this phrase the manipulator stumbles: “What do you mean? Anyway, you go on, “like you’re not here… Should I leave you alone with your thoughts?”
That’s exactly what he does. When I’m not quite in the mood, instead of finding out what’s wrong or somehow encouraging me, he calmly states: “Let me go, because I can see you’re not in the mood.” Or “I probably won’t come to see you, you’re somehow cold, you probably don’t want to see me,” and so on. Of course after such a thing I start to talk him out of it and tell him that he needs it, that he misunderstood me. And to put it bluntly, I don’t have the guts to say, “Well, don’t come, I’d rather do something else,” because knowing his steely nature, I can quite rightly predict the reaction: he can simply leave me or punish me with a very long period of inattention. And I don’t want to lose him and spoil the relationship, because I just simply love him very much. Can you advise me, please, how to get out of such almost ultimative situations, so as not to spoil relations and not to humiliate myself?
Well to begin with just understand that if a man in response to your ignoring m – here quite deserved – can just leave, then he does not love you at all. Is it so scary to lose someone like that? One more thing: you don’t have to discourage him after his statements. You just have to say: you’re wrong and you know it. I’m glad to see you, but now I have this and that ( according to the situation), I need your support ( or – I want to sit with you in a hug and be quiet, or I want to sleep and that you just be near, or at the moment I need to be alone, I am very sad and I’m sure you will understand me correctly). There are a lot of options. Your mch sees that you all need more than he does and as a result manipulates. If you behave competently and don’t cling to him explicitly, everything will be o.k.
Man, I’m shocked. If a man really cares about you then why listen to all sorts of advice. if is reciprocity in the feelings talk and that’s it. ps excuse me for misspelled text.
You correctly wrote “if the road really. If this is so, and he makes you feel it – then it is worth reciprocating. Tamara has written repeatedly about mirroring. A simple formula “as you are to me, so am I to you.” And many are just tormenting the girls, and they tolerate
Oh girls…. Of all the strategies to improve a relationship, why do you choose the most selfish one? A woman can manipulate a man, she can humiliate him, she can win… What’s next? At best, you’ll end up with a battered and servile slave-husband who will make you sick, at worst, proud loneliness and promiscuous relationships. Instead of suffering all sorts of bullshit with spells, manipulation and studying other people’s experiences which reeks of resentment and thirst for revenge, it would be better to work on your personal cooking skills, on your appearance, fix your gait, remove vulgarity from clothes, watch your speech and just learn to love without demanding anything in return. Be a woman with a capital letter, not a well-read b…d. The Vedas are there for you.
Eugene, I’m sure most men think like you, but in fact you fall in love with those who are interesting to you, who make you think about yourself and you just use “women with a capital letter”, they are convenient for you, they are boring for you. I know how I feel, I completely agree with Elena.
Eugene, I’m begging you. And you, then, are a god in sex, are wealthy, intelligent, and yet you love women, “not demanding anything in return”. Not a man – the dream. For me it’s better to be proudly single than to give yourself away to such “altruists”.
Eugene, this is a straight road – to total schwag, if we are talking about a man-manipulator man. You will become his slave and maid in this situation. And you won’t get any love back. I’ve been there. While I was sweet and kind and gentle, I was always resentful of men. As soon as I changed and took a position similar to that of many men – I’m fine on my own, and you run, I do not want to get married – immediately there were those who are ready to give up everything in the world, just to be near me. So draw your own conclusions. You can not be with our men today be a meek delicate flower and love for nothing – they just sit on the neck, unfortunately
If my husband not once invited me to spend time together (it is clear how) after his disappearance, I’ve been coaxing him for two weeks – he offered me something, and I wanted flowers and yummy – on what he smirked. After that I wrote sms with anger: “And this!!!” Silence.Then I neutralized my outburst with another sms: “Everything is clear”.He is quiet soon exactly as long as he coaxed me. I understood that after my “all is clear” as everything is clear to me (( with him it is not necessary to speak when he will call, even if I would like. Until he writes in black and white: “I will throw you flowers and everything you want…”
No, not until he writes something in black and white, but until he actually does it.
It was years before I noticed him in the yard. I found him on social networking sites. Corresponded in a friendly, but tactfully romantic way. He lives in another city and not alone. He comes to our city twice a year. My attention is noticeably flattering. At first I overdid with an abundance of communication probably he thought it strange my sudden attention and initiative on my part timid these people, men! Even stopped writing, began to disappear. But phrases with notes of manipulation slipping between the words did their job. I did so: told a little bit about myself … disappeared … wrote no time mol descriptions of the rest later … He: come on, tell me, but where missing. Now he waits! I will continue! Thank you, Tamara, for the spirit and positivity in your articles!
Yesterday my manipulator left me in the most obscene way. I am broken mentally and if someone helps me with support or advice will be very grateful. Prehistory is this…We met on SZ three years ago, we broke up several times, the initiator of the return was M, I only once allowed myself this.Last year, communication was not intense, but maintained more or less constantly. M became more active, invited me to his place in Amsterdam, love-marry me-blah-blah… [deleted in accordance with the rules of the site].
I want to say a special thank you to Tamara and Vanessa, I got to your site by accident, I felt something was wrong, something incomprehensible in my relationship with this M and started looking for answers to my questions. I was a dumb sheep that at first he easily took advantage of. I can’t brag about the super results yet, but the aggression I got from him probably shows some progress. Girls, thank you, if it were not for your site, he probably would have crushed me finally, and now I know I will rise from the ashes, like the phoenix
I had a situation that was the opposite of the one described in the article. If you can, help me understand it, because I still have a bad feeling about it… I promised my brother I would lend him 40,000 for a week. The conversation took place on Sunday; I promised to borrow it on Monday. It is not the first time, we have a very good relationship with my brother, we sometimes borrow from each other, always with repayment and without problems. I was supposed to withdraw from a credit card and transfer him, but here’s the problem, I forgot this credit card at home (and had to throw money from work). Just ran out and did not bring a credit card. It took me 1.5 hours to get home one way. My brother is waiting, and I feel terrible admitting that I let him down. And I started thinking about what to do. The option – to borrow from someone who can give. And I simultaneously asked for money from two of my men – my ex, with whom I still have a wonderful relationship, he is my close friend, and the current man, with whom I am dating (not living) for almost two years. The current one has quite a lot of money, he has a nice car, and he periodically brags about his branded watches, jeans, or something else. He always pays for me wherever we go, and sometimes makes nice gifts. In general, as it seemed to me, he always has money. My ex is average-affluent, everything is there, but ordinary (but I have never experienced a shortage of gifts from him). Money I asked for 20 thousand, the rest I had my own. In the end, this is what I got: my ex listened to my request with all the details, said: wait, and disconnected. An hour later I received 20 thousand on my card from a completely different person. It turned out that my ex had made a fuss all over his job to find me the money, he did not have it himself, as it was two days after vacation and until payday, but he did not tell me about it and found an option to help. And the current…… He texted me that he only has 800 rubles on his card … And he can not help me in any way. The rest of the money in his sister, whom he gave his card. So he blew me off. I sit there, like spit on my face. At least he tried. I have not seen or communicated with him since then, I behave coldly, although he writes to me, I refused the offer to meet him, referring to the fact that I will go to get money, and then I will have a prolonged period. Ugh, it’s disgusting. So I can’t count on him to do anything! I didn’t ask him to stay, I asked him to stay for 24 hours. We’ve been dating for two years. How come? I kind of did not even want that before this situation happened… It turns out he takes advantage of me, always asks for advice if he needs something (I am a lawyer), and he does not want to help me…
Zavarka, it’s sad, but now you know that you can count on your ex and not on the current one…
I learned too late about manipulators, about narcissists, already after he slammed my face against the pavement, quite hard, and then, as if nothing had happened, wrote: why don’t you answer me, and what happened (pretended that he did not understand at all why I was silent). It was as if he came back to see if I was still there. After which he promises to write to me and disappears (for the past three weeks, not a peep out of him). I started reading after that, and I realized who I had been dealing with for a year…[deleted]
Reply sent to your email.
And after reading these phrases I realized that my manipulator uses them constantly and to the utmost extent, as if they were written on him! Oh, shit! Where did he learn them! All the same – what do you want, I’ll think about it, enjoy the moment, not so fast. Especially the phrase what you want immediately puts you in the position of a subordinate. I feel fooled. Well, nothing, now I’ll use this weapon too!
Phrases of a manipulator
People who have pronounced narcissistic tendencies as well as so-called toxic partners are known for their manipulative tactics.
Some of them deliberately try to confuse and deceive. Others are more primitive and straightforward in their behavior, which throws the person off-balance.
Note. Below are phrases for male and female manipulators that will somehow help to subjugate a person to their will.
Be that as it may, such people are prone to projections, shifting responsibility for their actions to others, blaming those around them, and using gaslighting.
Here are some of the most common manipulator phrases that abusers often say to their victims and what is behind them, you can use them for your insidious purposes:
If the manipulator goes in for a blatant attack, he will use his toughest element of influence: threat:
- No one will believe you . I will try to isolate you and turn everyone against you.
- I hate you . I want to make you suffer, to make you feel loveless, unworthy and bad.
- Know your place! You’ve crossed the line, you need to become more obedient.
- Shut up! Sit quietly, be submissive, and don’t ask questions.
- You’ll regret this. You hurt me and you hurt me.
- You always / never (don’t) do that . I will exaggerate and make a big deal out of it to make you look bad.
- I will tell everyone what kind of person you are. I’m going to tell on you and turn everybody against you.
- You don’t know what I’m capable of. I’ll do anything to punish you.
- I’ll make you pay. You have wronged me, and I will punish you for it.
When arguments run out or don’t work properly, the manipulator will try to deflect responsibility away from himself, thereby giving himself room for the next attack:
- You are never satisfied with anything! You don’t have to complain or feel dissatisfied with my behavior.
- What happened is what happened. I don’t want to be responsible for it.
- You’re just crazy. I didn’t do anything wrong, you’re the one with the problem.
- I promise it won’t happen again. I want you to treat me as if nothing had happened.
- It’s nothing! You’re overreacting.
- I was only joking. On the contrary, it’s not a joke at all.
- Nobody’s perfect. You shouldn’t criticize my behavior and question my actions.
- You can’t do that! You should listen to me, not yourself.
- Relax, it’s okay. You’re overreacting to my toxic behavior, which I think is perfectly reasonable.
A manipulator’s favorite weapon is drama. To introduce an element of tragedy is like, to show your skill, honed over the years. If these phrases are present in the conversation, the play has begun!
- You are too sensitive. Your reaction to my toxic behavior is excessive and unreasonable.
- Don’t be so impressionable. I want to emphasize – you overreact to everything and only provoke conflict.
- I don’t remember that. Then it didn’t happen.
- Don’t play the victim! You don’t have to feel hurt and notice that I’m manipulating you.
- It doesn’t matter. You’d better not think about it.
- You’re exaggerating everything. It’s not as bad as you think (it’s much worse).
- I know you love me. I know better how you feel about me than you do yourself.
- You can’t do it without me. I believe you need me to survive, so don’t jeopardize our relationship.
- You shouldn’t have to communicate with them. I don’t want you to run away from me or see how unhealthy our relationship is.
And then there’s the most effective weapon of all: guilt. To make a person feel guilty, the manipulator can make false accusations and insults, as well as elements of humiliation.
- This is for your own good. Translation: you should be grateful, not upset.
- It’s your fault. Translation: I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all your fault.
- You are cold and cruel! You don’t know how to forgive! You shouldn’t hold me responsible for my behavior.
- You deserve it. It’s very simple – you deserve to be mistreated.
- You are provoking me. My toxic behavior is simply a reaction to your actions.
- You’re the one who made me do it. Translation: I have no control over myself, and you are responsible for what I did.
- You’re the one manipulating me. I’m not the one manipulating you, you are.
- You’re hurting me. I am the victim here.
- This is where I make the decisions. You have no right to speak out.
- You know I love you. I want you to keep giving me what I want.
- I already apologized, why are you pushing me away? I think you’re being unfair to me.
- What are you after that? You’re nothing.
- Nobody loves you. I want to make you feel worthless.
These are just a few of the most common of an endless list of phrases that manipulators say to their partners and significant others in order to pass the buck and get what they want from them. We recommend being extremely careful when using them!