Not worth it on the wife: a generalized look

Why a man constantly looks at a girl. Why does a man stare intently into a woman’s eyes? What does it mean if a man looks into her eyes?

A man’s gaze is more expressive than words British scientists conducted a series of experiments and proved that the length of a man’s gaze can determine a man’s attitude towards a woman:

  • visual contact less than 4 seconds – sympathy is unlikely, the man is not interested enough;
  • Staring for more than 8 seconds – liking is likely, there is a chance of building a romantic relationship.

Interesting! Such an iconic role is assigned exclusively to the male gaze. A woman can consider a man for no reason, out of banal curiosity.

Psychologists advise to focus not only on the duration of visual contact, but also on other non-verbal signs of male sympathy. If a number of factors indicate the guy’s interest in you, then you can begin to flirt without fear of making a mistake.

The eyes as a mirror of the soul.

The look of a sincerely in love with a woman allows you to look beyond the usual reality. People usually unmistakably guess the mood and psychological state of each other. If a guy is interested in communication, he will look for signs of reciprocity in the girl’s eyes. All thoughts will focus only on the object of his adoration. A guy in love has a blazing, strong penetrating look. Sometimes the young man is embarrassed and wants to avert his eyes. However, it is this open non-verbal manifestation that allows you to make sure that the individual is really interested in continuing the acquaintance.

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Why does the guy stares intently into the eyes of a girl and does not look away?

Despite the desire of the guy to hide his feelings, his eyes betray his true intentions. A man subconsciously focuses his gaze on the object of interest and has no control over how long he looks at it.

In terms of biochemistry, the entire process is caused by the production of the hormone phenylethylamine, which affects mood and emotions, and increases mental concentration.

You can use a trick: during a conversation look into the eyes of the guy you like for a long time. Of course, you should not look at the object of sympathy too closely, it may seem silly. The optimal amount of time to delay a glance at a man is 4 seconds.

How to tell the difference?

How to tell by the look that a man is in love? A man’s gaze can speak volumes, and it is important to be able to distinguish its shades to understand what a man is experiencing.

Intimate .

This look indicates that the man is interested in sexual contact with the girl.

Characteristics of the intimate look:

  1. Smoothness. The man slowly looks at the girl standing in front of him. His languid gaze wanders over her figure, stopping at areas the man finds beautiful. During this gradual, partly evaluative staring he may say compliments in an effort to draw attention to himself, to make his head spin and to get what he wants, that is, sex. At the same time, he gets little into the dialogue, except when it touches on what he wants in one way or another.
  2. A fixation on sexually attractive body parts. During this peeping, he usually pays increased attention to the breasts, legs, thighs, groin area, waist. Openly in the face a man looks not too long, but exactly as long as it is necessary for him to estimate the appearance.

A man who looks at a woman in this way expects sex and possibly a non-committal romantic relationship.

If a woman is not in the mood for sex, which will not be followed by anything important, she should cut the communication short.


This look indicates that the man has an interest in the girl, but does not know whether he should start a relationship with her.

The flirting look is often taken by men who like to flirt and are positive about the idea of having a romantic relationship that doesn’t commit them to anything.

Characteristics of the flirtatious gaze:

  1. Concentrated on the face. The man hardly looks at the figure of the woman he is talking to, except for a glimpse of her. During the conversation, he looks at her face and eyes, trying to capture the emotional response that arose after his words.
  2. There is a rather warm, benevolent look. The man often jokes, trying to attract the girl’s attention, and his eyes look alive, as if with fire, and reflect well what he says.

A relationship with a man like this could well develop into something more, it is only important to let him know that you are also attracted to him.

How to love a man who loves you? Find out the answer right now.


This look eloquently indicates that the man is in love with the girl, admires her and seeks at all costs to achieve reciprocal feelings.

The characteristics of the amorous gaze:

  1. Long and attentive. If a man meets a girl for the first time and she sees that he stares at her intently during the dialogue, as if he catches every word she says, it may mean that he felt that he is falling in love. Also, men in love stare straight into her eyes, their gaze does not appear to be running.
  2. The pupils are dilated. As mentioned earlier, dilated pupils are an indicator that a man is experiencing pleasure when he is around a girl.

If a man looks at a girl this way, it is important for her to understand: it is more than likely that he will begin courting in the near future, and only time will tell where this relationship will lead.

How does he look at you? How not to make a mistake? Learn from this video:

How to react to stare

It is human nature to want reciprocity, and when a man does not take his eyes off, he is waiting for a response. A positive reaction of the interlocutor, which means mutual sympathy (a smile, a nod, a touch), will be an incentive for the guy to act further.

Of course, it often happens that the look lacks the desired emotion. The main thing in this situation – do not confuse sympathy with the manifestation of other feelings (irritation, anger, etc.).

If the lady does not feel any discomfort during visual contact, it means that there is no negative emotion from the man’s side. The girl is recommended to take a wait-and-see attitude and not rush to conclusions, to analyze the behavior of the young man.

If a woman wants to demonstrate that she is not against communication, she should:

  • establish long visual contact, after, sharply switch to the lips, stop, as if examining them, and again look into the eyes of the partner;
  • to catch the look, looking long eye-to-eye.

How to understand a man’s gaze

1. Attentive gaze

If you make a positive impression on a man, he will consciously look at you and perhaps smile. As soon as you meet his gaze, he may look away due to embarrassment or discomfort.

Experts in facial expressions and gestures say that when a man looks away, it means instant sympathy. At the same time, if he looks away, it’s probably not a question of liking you.

2. The Half Gaze

This kind of look is not easy to notice if you are not very perceptive. This is a situation where the man looks at you longer than usual and then averts his eyes. Unlike the intentional stare, which lasts a second, the half stare may last two seconds, but it is barely noticeable.

Generally, men spend more time looking at something they find attractive, whether consciously or unconsciously. This is what happens when he’s thinking about something of his own, but you have him interested in something. This is a clear sign that indicates his intention to talk to you.

3. A double glance.

If a man has the courage to maintain eye contact, he may do it again, especially if he was received favorably the first time.

The best part is that the double stare often occurs subconsciously, and if you ask the man, he may not even remember how many times he looked at you. In any case, if his gaze keeps falling on you, it’s a great sign of sympathy.

Is it true that the look of a man in love changes?

It is the eyes are a true indicator of male feelings When a man experiences love, regardless of gender and age, there is a release of hormones in the body that affect appearance and behavior:

  • his heart rate goes up;
  • and he is in a state of near euphoria;
  • his gait changes;
  • his complexion, his hair and nails improve;
  • the size of the pupil increases.

Interesting! Exactly the eyes are the true indicator of the man’s feelings. The effect of the “bottomless” pupil indicates the presence of serious intentions. The absence of changes in the eyes at the moment of a love confession indicates a light flirtation without long meetings.

What it looks like

To understand the nature of a person’s feelings and emotions through nonverbal signs, there are many methods. One of the most revealing ways to determine what emotions a man is experiencing is by observing his eyes.

Read A man doesn’t say that he loves you: how do you know if you have feelings?

The direction .

A man in love practically never takes his eyes off his object of love, catches every facial change of his partner and expects a response. A man in love will not be distracted from the conversation, no matter what the topic is (including if the companion is talking about something that does not bother him at all). Explaining what kind of look a man in love has, psychologists name the following properties:

  • open;
  • direct;
  • interested;
  • intimate.

If a man desires a brief sexual encounter without tender feelings, then his gaze will move over the body of the companion. This is the main difference – the gaze of a guy in love is unremitting and focused on the girl’s face, while the one who does not have such deep feelings – on her body.

The duration of the contact

The field of love relationships is a never-ending subject of study for many specialists. The psychologist from Harvard University, Zeke Rubin, has a number of developments in the study of this phenomenon. The scientist argues that eye contact is an important component of interpersonal interaction. Looking into the face of the interlocutor can determine his emotions and thoughts. One of the famous works of the psychologist is the one in which he managed to establish that by the amount of time spent on the object of contemplation, you can calculate the degree of love, hatred, contempt, etc.

READ How to break up with a man, not to suffer and let go: psychologist’s tips

In a standard conversation, a man looks into the eyes of the interlocutor about 60% of the time. But when a guy is possessed by romantic feelings, this figure rises to 75-85%. If a young man constantly looks into the eyes of his girlfriend, it is a clear sign of love on his part.

Pupil size.

This moment can tell if a man likes a woman or not. The dilation of the pupils indicates a hormonal surge that occurs from pleasure. There is a release of dopamine, which excites the nerve endings in the eyes. At the same time the pupil muscles are dilated, which is very noticeable. The in love look in such a man immediately becomes visually more profound. According to one study, more than 87% of subjects had dilated pupils when given the opportunity to see a loved one or loved one.

Surprisingly, studies by scientists confirm the fact that dilated pupils are one of the components that make the opposite sex sympathetic. Many people do not even think about it, but experts were able to confirm it experimentally.

After such evidence, the “dilated pupil effect” has been adopted by many marketers.


If you observe those people who communicate in a large company, you can recognize among them a couple in love. The first thing that gives them away is the concentration of their gaze. When a man listens passionately to his companion, it is difficult for him to switch his attention to another object at the first need. An example of this is the following situation: a couple is sitting at a table in a cafe, the gaze of a man in love with her is directed to the woman, he listens to her carefully, enjoying being close to her. A waiter approaches the table and asks a question. It takes a lot of time for the man to switch his attention and gaze to the stranger, as he concentrates on his companion.

How to tell the difference

When people are together, they look at each other and their brains do the analysis. Sometimes this happens on a subconscious level. It takes the brain a certain amount of time to identify the other person. After that, special signals determine what the person’s gaze will be.

To read Nobody Loves Me: The Causes of Loneliness and How to Fight It

The functional meaning of visual contact can vary. Even if a person is not strong in the scientific knowledge of oculosics (the science of human visual behavior), it is not difficult to distinguish some types of gazes. However, when it comes to the subspecies of visual contact, it is more difficult to understand what the gaze is saying.

Even if a young man’s eyes give away his eyes, you need to understand what message is hidden in them when he looks at his beloved.

Intimate .

When the interlocutors stand next to each other, and the guy’s eyes are directed to the area between the eyes, the neck and chest of the girl, it means that we are talking about an intimate form of visual contact. It happens in this way: the eyes are lowered from the face to the chest, and then lifted back up.

It is worth noting that girls are better at developing peripheral vision. This makes it possible to look at a guy without him noticing it. Men have tunnel vision, so they have to move their eyes down and up. It is this disadvantage that allows girls to notice the movement of a man’s gaze over their body.


It is not difficult to recognize this type of visual contact: the man looks more at the interlocutor, his face is in a relaxed state, and facial expressions indicate genuine interest in her person. At the same time he tries to catch her emotions and sometimes repeats them. The man may raise and lower his eyebrows at times, thus showing his interest in communicating.

Such eye contact is complemented by casual conversation or jokes from the boyfriend’s side. Such mimicry signals indicate sincere interest in the interlocutor.


What the look of a sincerely in love man says, it is not difficult to guess. Of course, about tenderness to the beloved. It is in this that loyalty and warmth are manifested.

A loving look is much softer than the intimate or flirtatious. It is very easy to determine.

Man looks away: what to do, how to behave

Flirting look – a hint at the desire to develop a relationship If the man interested looks away during eye contact, there may be several reasons for this:

  • Attracts the attention of the girl. The latter begins to be tormented and wonder what is wrong. In this case, if the non-verbal body language indicates sympathy, it is worth choosing one of two tactics – complete ignoring or active actions with smiles, prolonged visual contact and other . The main thing is to understand in time whether you have chosen the right option.
  • Busy at work, thinking over important problems. It is worth allowing the guy to be alone with his thoughts and not to try to establish contact, this will only alienate him.
  • Is not aware of the existence of sympathy on the part of the girl. It is worth showing courage and with the help of feminine wiles to draw attention to yourself.
  • The girl is not interesting to him. In this case, it is worth to switch his attention to another young man.

The importance of the look

The human body and the emotional and psychological state – a single mechanism. When feelings and sensations arise, various chemical reactions occur in the body. Speaking about the feeling of falling in love, we can emphasize that this is the topic of interest for scientists to study. All over the world, specialists conduct many studies, surveys and experiments. They all boil down to establishing how the emotions associated with love are reflected in the behavior of people.

Read also: How to survive infidelity loved one: psychologist’s tips. How to deal with the treason of a loved one

READ How to understand that you have fallen in love with a guy: signs and stages of tender feelings

The ability of the eyes to express emotion has been the subject of long study. Many experiments have been devoted to the study of the primary gaze in guys and girls when they first meet.

Scientists were able to find out that when getting acquainted, women tend to look into the eyes, while men initially examine the body of the interlocutor. This fact is due to the fact that girls with the help of the eyes try to determine the man’s character to understand what line of communication they should build in the future. With men the body is of paramount importance for sexual attraction, so the establishment of eye contact with the interlocutor is initially less important for them. Another study showed a little different data. In couples where both partners are in love, close eye contact is established more often.

Consequently, the eyes are the main organ through which a person transmits some kind of signal of love.

A close and penetrating look in the eyes is a sign of strong feelings.

No matter how much a man wants to hide his true intentions, it’s enough just one look in the eyes to feel something wrong or even to guess about everything at once. Thus, the gaze of a man into a woman’s eyes when she is silent is often a sign of sympathy. On the other hand, understanding the “language of looks” at an elementary level can already make life easier for anyone and in any field of activity. Unbelievable, but visual contact is as full-fledged tool of nonverbal communication as body language and facial expressions.

At first glance it may seem that the “language of looks” is limited in its possibilities, but in practice it is much more expressive than words.

A look can:

  • Evoke confidence-the secret weapon of businessmen, actors, diplomats, negotiators, and politicians;
  • Inspire desire – the image of a femme fatale always begins with a stunning look;
  • Subdue – the boss’s authoritative look is stronger than any words, every subordinate knows this;
  • Provoke: a clash of glances at a meeting is often the starting point for a quarrel: “What are you staring at?

A long stare at the interlocutor has a special power of impact, it is difficult not to notice and impossible to ignore. If someone looks at you intently and does not take his eyes away, he needs something, and he is not afraid to show it. But how to interpret the stare is almost always an open question.

What does it mean to look at a man?

At the instinctive level, a long look in the eyes from a potential rival is perceived as a challenge and a manifestation of aggression. In the animal world, such a look always precedes a fight. Often parents teach their children not to look into the eyes of strangers and stray dogs, because the animal, which does not know what to expect from a child, may perceive the look as hostile.

A man’s stare into a man’s eyes can mean:

  1. A challenge or an answer to a challenge. It is the eyes that first communicate the desire to quarrel: a heavy, insolent and hostile look can frighten a rival or provoke him to a mutual dislike.
  2. Assessment. The gaze may be exploratory or probing. The difference is that the person is studied inconspicuously, but tested deliberately and directly, including through the conflict. By the way the opponent reacts to stare, you can tell a lot about his character.

Gaze of the girl to the guy is considered a manifestation of interest. This is partly true, because to look into something or someone requires at least some interest, but what kind – this is a big question. Do not interpret this look as sympathy, if it does not indicate any accompanying signs.

A man is more inclined to look intently and for a long time into the eyes of women he likes himself, including women with whom he is in a close relationship. In domestic boorish men, all women fit into this category at once, which is why insolent looks, as well as dubious phrases for dating a girl – their distinguishing feature.

Staring into the eyes without blinking may be a sign of very strong feelings, which are difficult to hide and control. Here a man is no longer up to caution, his gaze is almost screaming, it captures everything that can not be put into words and gestures.

What does the look on the woman. What look the girls have.

A woman tends to stare at a man she likes, so that a man to such a look – a good sign and a call to action. Even more often such looks are found in women in love, who just love to look into the eyes of their soulmates. According to women, it is a special mystery, communication without words, spiritual closeness, etc. Women will not bat their eyes at all, because it is modesty that adorns the weaker sex, and intrusive glances are poorly combined with modesty.

At other women are also not accepted to look closely, unless it is clearly a conflict situation, or there is an objective need for such behavior. Long studying and comparing glances are possible, but not eye-to-eye.

Emotions from staring at another woman are about the same as those from looking at a man:

  • Anxiety and a sense of danger;
  • A sense of discomfort;
  • Irritation.

A woman’s long stare at a man is an obvious sign of sympathy. Especially when it comes to direct eye-to-eye gaze – it means that the woman is interested in you as an interlocutor, in addition, she is confident and straightforward.

If a woman looks at the interlocutor with a squint, it may mean distrust, and sometimes even insidiousness: the person wants to know about your plans and at the same time to hide his.

A wandering glance indicates that the person is interested in everything that surrounds him or her, or vice versa – not interested in anything in particular.

A wide-open gaze is often used by salespeople and professional actors, as it inspires confidence.

This look symbolizes passion and the desire to be together, not to lose sight of your partner for even a second.

What does it mean to look at a man?

Above we considered unconditional situations, that is, situations that occur in random circumstances, outside of any strict context. But in everyday life, the gaze of a random person we stumble upon not so often. Much more common is to look into the eyes of familiar people who are related to each other.

  • The gaze of the boss. If the boss stares at a subordinate, it is certainly not rudeness, not an influx of feelings, and not a manifestation of aggression. With the gaze, supervisors make it clear that they are dissatisfied. Often a long stare from the supervisor, accompanied by a pause, makes the subordinate worry, blush, and make excuses. However, to have a successful career, it is better to overcome the fear of the boss’s gaze.
  • Listening gaze. Also does not mean anything bad or extraordinary and indicates only attention and interest to the conversation, an attempt to better understand the essence of what is being said, concentration.
  • The gaze of the speaker. Aimed at convincing and giving weight to the words. Stage speech training at GITIS or at courses at the Benefis Theatre School for Adults involves working with the gaze as an instrument of general expressiveness, its development and training. The gaze can disarm, arouse feelings of pity, compassion and sympathy – think of the famous cat from “Shrek.

The piercing gaze of the cat from the cartoon “Shrek.”

You need to learn how to balance persistence and modesty, depending on the particular situation of communication.

As for practice, some coaches advise to train stare as follows: choose in a crowd of people who, in your opinion, has a weaker character than you. Try by all means to keep your gaze on him, blocking your desire to turn away or become embarrassed.

But it is better not to risk with strangers, and learn about the method of staring at the psychological training of personal growth, courses of public speaking or acting classes held school Benefis.

Stage speech training at GITIS or any other acting school for adults involves working with the gaze as a tool of general expression, its development and training.

Watch a video about acting emotions and facial expressions:

How to look at your interlocutor to achieve the desired effect

A person who is well versed in the psychology, meanings of looks and knows how to apply them in practice can achieve great success in communication. You can learn more about the gaze method at a psychological personal growth training, a successful negotiation course or an acting course. Here are some tips on how to look at the interlocutor to achieve the desired effect.

  1. Don’t overdo it. The length of the gaze matters: the longer the gaze, the stronger the emotion it expresses. If you do not want to stun the interlocutor, do not look into his eyes for too long, 2-4 seconds is enough, after which it is better to look away.
  2. Look with eyes wide open. This is the look of an honest man who does not lie and does not hide anything. Its opposite is a squinted look and a wandering “running” look.
  3. Use facial expressions. Nothing simpler than creating appearances with facial expressions: furrowed brow – and already a concentrated employee, slightly covered his eyes – languid in love, moved his eyebrows – perpetually disgruntled boss, etc. The perception of the interlocutor’s gaze can also be “corrected” mimically, especially with a smile and the position of the eyebrows.

At the courses in the theater school Benefis much attention is paid to work with the look – to improve its expression and removal of psychological blocks.

Already in the first session we give students the task of sharing in pairs and staring into the eyes of a partner. Due to the fact that these people are likely to have been strangers to our class, this exercise is not easy for many people and they feel awkward. Our goal is to overcome students’ inner shyness and insecurities and to give them the confidence to look another person in the eye and to express their thoughts.

In the graduation class it is not difficult for students to look intently into the eyes of other people – acquaintances or strangers. Their friends and relatives, when they come to see the graduate speak, are amazed at their confidence in themselves and their words.

Choose the course that suits you best. We hold classes for adults and children in the center of Moscow.

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