My wife is cheating – set out in general terms

Cheating on my wife

My story is simple and banal, like all cheating husbands. As a young man I was fond of music, played in a rock band. My future wife I took from a colleague in the band. I lost my head for love with her. We dated for almost a year, he tried to win her back, but to no avail. Did she love me? I think she did. We ended up getting married when I was in my fourth year of college. My wife was a year younger than me. We lived with my parents. She came from a disadvantaged family, her father died early and her mother wasn’t interested in her. A year later my son was born. I had money problems, as a student I received a scholarship, which was impossible to live on. Of course my parents helped me in every way they could, and I also worked as a part-time watchman and played “part-time jobs”. In general, I made ends meet somehow.

At the end of my studies I was offered to go into the army as a two-year officer. After consulting with my wife, I agreed. I was assigned to serve in a big city in the Baltics as a commander of a reconnaissance platoon. I should say that I was a sporty guy; a master of sports in biathlon, and a musician at that. Two months later my wife and son arrived. We were given a room in the officers’ dormitory. The life of a serviceman was full of business trips and I was often absent at the exercises and field camps. My wife was left alone for a long time. She was in charge of our everyday life and the child. So we lived for three years. One fall I came home from a brief business trip. And in the evening I tried to caress my wife. She was trying to deny me in every way, saying that she was tired with the baby, that she was starting to have women’s problems, and so on. Nevertheless, I managed to undress her and saw numerous hickeys on her body. Not just one, but many and all over her body. There were hickeys on the inside of her thighs and even on her pubis. My wife started crying, she was hysterical. But I made her tell me what had happened. According to her, she had a mutual acquaintance, a fellow countryman. She invited him to the table and then he suddenly moved with her to the bed. Where he started molesting her and eventually what happened happened. He molested her and in a fit of passion, these hickeys appeared. She claimed that there was no sex between them. That she came to her senses in time to kick him out.

She told him not to touch her and not to embarrass her. That night I slept in the barracks. In the morning I found my friend and after some brief physical violence I forced him to tell me everything. He apologized to me, etc. I lived in the barracks for a week, then my wife found me and

talked me into going back for my son. I did not make a big fuss, apart from beating my acquaintance, nobody in the regiment knew about what had happened.

We moved on with her. When my term of service came to an end, I wrote my report and asked to leave me in the Armed Forces. That is how I became a professional soldier. A year later I went on a long business trip, for almost three months, and when I came back, “kind” people told me that while I was there my wife and her friends were having a good time with young officers. I guessed what the fun was, but I had no direct evidence of adultery. How many times I was going to break up with her, but every time I stayed for the sake of my son.

This went on for about eight years. My daughter was born. My wife was against it, she wanted to have an abortion, but I wouldn’t let her. At the beginning of the 90s I started going on business trips to hot spots. On one of them I was wounded badly. For two weeks I was between life and death. Then I recovered for a long time, but the doctors warned me that I could stay an invalid for life. In total I was discharged after half a year of wandering around in hospitals. All that time my wife never came to see me. My father and older brother came to pick me up. When I asked where my wife was, my father said she had gone to St. Petersburg with some Caucasian man, and left the children with my parents. Maybe I would have drank myself to death from such betrayal, but there were children and unbearable pain in my soul. I left the army. Gradually my health improved so much that I passed a medical commission and joined the police. My parents helped me to raise my children. So another ten years passed. My son graduated from the academy of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, my daughter went to university. By that time we were already living in our own three-room apartment. Did I have other women? Yes, I did, because I was a human being and I wanted a woman’s caress and comfort at home. But nothing serious happened in my personal life.

And then one January evening the doorbell rang and my wife showed up on the doorstep. It was my wife, since we were not officially divorced. To be honest, I hardly recognized her. Before me stood a poorly dressed thin haggard woman with black circles under her eyes. And then, like everyone else: tears, words of forgiveness, I was a fool, I love only you and children, and so on. From her story I realized that her roommate not only lived with her himself, but generously shared her body with his many relatives. In short, he made a sex slave out of her. They did not live long in St. Petersburg, and he took her back to his homeland. During that time she had two pregnancies, but she aborted them because her roommate did not want children. So she became psychologically dependent on him. They came to our city with her and his two brothers. While they were traveling on business she ran away from them, got to my parents and my kind-hearted mother gave her my address. We were alone in the apartment; the kids weren’t home. About an hour later the doorbell rang again, and when I opened it I saw three men. One of them pushed me away and they broke into the apartment. I realized it was my wife’s roommate and his relatives. It turned out that one of the brothers had followed her. My wife tried to hide, but they quickly found her and tried to take her away. That’s where my skills as a reconnaissance commander came in handy! In short, while the police arrived, who had been called by the neighbors, I took my soul away! A patrol arrived and got the uninvited guests all tangled up and brought them to the station. All except my wife. I confess, I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for her, because I found myself loving her all the time, in spite of everything. I had already held a serious position in the police department of the region, so there was no problem with the uninvited guests. After the required fifteen days in jail and after the appropriate preventive measures, they disappeared from the city forever. My wife stayed at my place. The children came. My son accepted my mother, but my daughter never forgave me for cheating on her. That’s how we live. When I look at her, I remember only the good things that happened between us. After all, we did have it! Now my wife has health and mental problems and no pension. Twice a year I take her to the sanatorium of the Ministry of Internal Affairs for recuperation. I am 56 years old now, I am a colonel in the police reserve. I get a good pension. I work in my first profession as an engineer in a gold mining company. I have more than enough money. I spend it with pleasure on my children and grandchildren … and, of course, on my wife.

How to find out if your wife has a lover: sure signs of infidelity

Many men, who find out about the infidelity of his wife, are perplexed and ask themselves: “Why did she betray me? What did I do wrong?”. Is the husband to blame for a woman’s infidelity? Let’s break down the main reasons for the situation:

  1. A desire for novelty and thrills. When passion dulls in a marriage, many women feel a lack of emotion. Some try to add wood to the extinguished fire of love, while others are looking for somewhere to rekindle it with another man.
  2. Dissatisfaction with her husband sexually and morally. Physiological incompatibility, sexual impotence, unwillingness to change anything, indifference and rudeness are the current problems of many husbands. No wonder their wives fall into the arms of other men.
  3. Revenge on the spouse for his bad deeds. Sometimes there is not enough strength to break up, but the thirst for justice pushes women to adultery. Revenge for betrayal and deep resentment is often the cause of a wife’s infidelity.
  4. A momentary passion. There are also times when adultery is acceptable to a particular woman. Then she succumbs to infatuation and may well give in to her feelings regardless of marriage.
  5. Sex for career advancement or money. Sometimes financial gain and advancement in one’s career will come to a woman through sex. Is it a combination of circumstance, hopelessness, or an attempt to justify her weakness that moves the wife at this point? It all depends on the specific situation.

Signs of infidelity

Do you want to know the true signs of cheating on your wife? Women are able to lead a double life very secretly, but to convict them all the same it is possible. Let’s look at all the signs of adultery.

The first signs.

Some men are accustomed to suspect a woman of infidelity almost from the first day of acquaintance. Do not torture yourself and your future or current spouse. There are tell-tale signs of adultery, but how do you know for sure about the presence of another man? If your spouse has just found a lover, you can not control yourself a hundred percent. Many things will alert the worried husband in this period. The first signs of cheating wife:

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  1. Your spouse has stopped worrying about you. Before, when you were late at work, she would call and grumble. And now you come in at two in the morning and not get a single pathetic text message before that? Now you are no longer the center of the universe for your wife. Chances are she’s not thinking about you at all, she’s thinking about a fresh lover.
  2. She’s not asking for anything. “Fix the faucet, buy bread and dishwashing detergent, get the kid ready for school” – these annoying requests have disappeared from your communication with you. It seems like they used to be annoying, but now there is something missing. The wife’s focus is not on the home environment. She is mentally hovering elsewhere.
  3. She is no longer annoyed by what used to be a reason for conflict. Your weekly stubble and the pile of dirty dishes after dinner are no longer the cause of the quarrel. You are happy at first, and then you realize that this calmness is for a reason.
  4. Wife refuses to have sex. Excuses are always different: a headache, tired at work, “these” days. The spouse can also slyly not come into the bedroom until you are asleep. Everyone has periods of weak libido, but this behavior can’t last for months for no reason.
  5. Delays at work. Meeting another man takes time. And it is possible to find it only with the help of excuses, similar to the truth. Regular delays at work, which were not observed before, is one of the first signs of cheating on your woman.

How the appearance and behavior of an unfaithful spouse changes

Many husbands do not understand how to identify cheating wife – the signs are not always obvious. But there are some manifestations that are simply impossible not to notice. This applies to the behavior of the woman and her external transformation. What is alarming and confirms fears about adultery:

  1. The spouse hides her gadgets and changes her passwords. If you used to often take your wife’s phone that came to hand and look at the time and weather on it, now it is never in sight. Spouse carries it in his pocket, does not put it out even before going to the bathroom: it means there is something to hide.
  2. The wife turns off her phone. She has had regular problems with her connection: the network disappears, messages don’t come in. Strange, isn’t it? Perhaps she’s having fun in the arms of her lover during the “network failures.
  3. She puts on makeup when she leaves the house. When going to work or anywhere else alone, the wife takes longer than usual to get ready. And when you go together to visit or go on business, she limits herself to brushing her hair. This behavior signals possible infidelity.
  4. The wife just glows. Passionate sex and falling in love are the real catalysts of beauty. If there are no such emotions between you, then the spouse is getting them on the side. Just like that she can not get five years younger in one fell swoop.
  5. Wears beautiful lingerie to go out. There are signs of a cheating wife by her underwear. If she used to buy only comfortable cotton shorts, but now she walks around in such underwear only in front of you. At work and walks wear lace thongs.
  6. Spouse is constantly absent to go out with “girlfriends. Previously, the wife preferred a quiet holiday at home and only rarely went out to someone else’s birthday party. Now every weekend she goes out with “girlfriends” and comes home in the morning. This behavior is very alarming: is not a lover by the clock started at your wife?

Physiological signs of adultery

Behavior can be corrected by force of will, and many girls are trying to maintain a perfect appearance. How then to suggest a possible adultery spouse? There are physiological signs of obvious female infidelity:

  1. Nonverbal gestures. A wife’s subconscious can give her away with her guts: a downcast gaze, hiding her hands during a serious conversation, embarrassment and red cheeks. This is how she will behave if you ask her the direct question, “Did you get another one?”
  2. Smells. More often than not, men smell stronger than women. This applies not only to natural body odors, but also to cologne. Pay attention to how your spouse smells after another unforeseen weaning. The ambergris of cigarettes, men’s cologne, and the tart smell of someone else is cause for an accusation.
  3. Facial irritation. During passionate kisses, a man’s stubble rubs against a woman’s delicate skin, and irritation will not be long in coming. In addition, red lips without lipstick and a bright blush in the wife who came home also clearly indicate the recent caresses with another man.
  4. Body marks. A sloppy lover can leave evidence on your spouse’s body: hickeys and scratches. Look for these marks on your wife. Also pay attention if she uncharacteristically ties a scarf around her neck or does not change her clothes in front of you, but does so in the bathroom.
  5. Lack of arousal. You and your spouse haven’t had sex in a couple of months, you start hitting on her, and you don’t feel even a shred of arousal in return. This is another physiological sign of a cheating wife. Even if your family isn’t having the best of times, a long lack of intimate satisfaction would provoke at least a little bit of recoil. So your wife is getting high on the side.

Why Wives Cheat

A wife is capable of cheating for a variety of reasons, and sometimes there are several. Often the man himself guesses what the problem lies in the intrafamily conflict. But how to find out that his wife has a lover is unclear, because asking a direct question is inappropriate, to follow or read correspondence is unsafe, risky, and for some even humiliating.

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Nevertheless, it is still necessary to find out the truth – no one wants to live in deception, and even from the once beloved woman. It is impossible to forget about such a thing, even if the lady with honest eyes convinces that she never allowed herself to look at other guys, much less sleep with them.

To forgive or not to forgive infidelity is another matter. First it is necessary to find out whether the man’s suspicions are justified, or he screwed himself, inspired by the idea of a lover in his beloved. Subsequently, it is important to understand the reasons. They may be as follows:

  1. Sexual dissatisfaction. Passion may fade after many years of life together or the husband does not satisfy his wife sufficiently, not listening to her, thinking only about his feelings.
  2. Falling in love with another man. Fear of losing the family and destroying the union does not allow the person to cut off all ties with the current partner and leave for another, so there are cheating. The other half is swerving between two fires, unable to make the right choice.
  3. Lack of intimacy in general. This happens if one of the spouses are not satisfied with the appearance or actions of the second. Sometimes after years of interest is lost, sex ceases to bring joy, because of the scandals do not want intimacy, etc.

There are also individual reasons, uncharacteristic of most. If the spouse has previously cheated, which became known, after some time and the wife is able to do the same. The reason for this is veiled revenge, an attempt to cope with resentment and the inability to let go of the situation that has occurred.

Infidelity submits to all ages: how to determine the infidelity of the wife in the 20-30, 30-40 years and more.

By what signs can you know that the wife has committed adultery? Are they the same for girls of different ages? Basically, the signs of each woman’s infidelity are similar, but there are nuances of their own:

  1. How do very young women cheat? They just got married and supposedly should spend most of their time with their husbands. Youth and novelty of sensations is what faithful young wives enjoy. But cheaters in their 20s and 30s are easy to spot by their refusals to have sex, their coldness, and their ineptness at covering up physiological traces. They may even want to flaunt their sin by showing their husband signs of passion. This is how they punish him for misbehaving or hurting him.
  2. How do you expose an adulteress in her 30s and 40s? Passion at this time has already noticeably subsided. Spouses, most likely, have had time to have children. A woman is tired and wants attention that she does not get from her husband who has calmed down. What are the signs that can be verified in the cheating wife at this age? The wife is no longer so frivolous and will not be in a hurry to give themselves away. The main signs of her crime will be the external transformations, hiding with the phone in the bathroom, and more frequent meetings with friends.
  3. How to understand that the woman over 40 years? The wisdom of experience lived together over the years the wife will be able not to give himself away. By what signs then can you detect cheating wife 40 years and older? This distinct coldness, regular correspondence with someone, a change of closet and lack of care for her legitimate husband.

How do you prove adultery for sure?

The signs by which you can tell if your wife is cheating are not always eloquent enough. They can tell not only about infidelity, but also about the presence of problems in the family. To be sure of adultery of the spouse with an accuracy of 100% will help in such ways:

  1. Reading personal correspondence. Such an act is not the best in terms of morality. But if you have access to your wife’s phone or computer, making sure of the presence or absence of a lover is easy. Read her correspondence in any messenger, and the truth will be revealed to you.
  2. Surveillance. If possible, hire a private investigator. He will find evidence of adultery or refute your suspicions. A budget-friendly way out of the situation is to spy on your wife yourself. Give her a head start and, a few minutes after she leaves the house, go after her. Another promising option: return home often out of the blue. See if you can catch your wife red-handed.
  3. Help from a friend. Ask a trusted male friend to seduce your spouse. Have a friend create an account in a social network in which his wife is registered. Photos, of course, should not be real. Will the correspondence start or not – no one knows. But if the wife takes the bait, you are left to follow the developments. The apotheosis of this theatrical production will be a rented hotel room, which will be invited his wife for a closer acquaintance. And there you will be waiting for her with a statement of divorce.

Before you implement our advice, think carefully. Do you really want to know about the fact of infidelity legitimate spouse? Such information can change your life forever and even ruin it, especially if you have children. Signs that you can tell your wife is cheating are one thing, but direct evidence is quite another.

A secular case of infidelity

In 2005, the public stirred: the marriage between Brad Pitt and the charming Jennifer Aniston was dissolved. The stars were considered the standard of love and the strongest family ties.

Fans were mad with desire to know the truth, and inquisitive viewers bought up tons of yellow press, wanting to get to the bottom of the truth. Strong marital bond broke banal infidelity at work. It did not take long for her to come clean.

How to survive an unfaithful husband: useful tips

The fact is that the lovelorn Brad, who showed all the charms of charisma and flawless male body, was not able to resist the charms of sexy Angelina Jolie. The passion between colleagues on the set flared so strong that its fire burned away the marriage of Pitt and Aniston.

Union Angelina and Brad opened the world a harsh reality: the society of the XXI century was shaken by a wave of infidelity, which will soon cover the strong and innocent families. How to resist the winds of temptation? There are many criteria by which to recognize lies and threats to family happiness. The main thing is that there is a desire to preserve the relationship.

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